My ex boyfriend keeps emailing me, does he still have feelings for me?

[Alone83]

My ex continuously emails me. He broke up with me almost 9 months ago. I have not spoken to him until recently. I don't get if he still has feelings for me or if he misses me. But he never says anything regarding our relationship or that he apologizes nothing like that. I even changed my phone number because of how hurt and betrayed I felt. This is the message that he just sent me last week that I just saw today:

"I've been interning at CN Vet. You still take the pets there? I can see if they're behind on their shots and check ups and have the girls send you annoying letters and phone calls heeheehee"



A part of me thinks that it might just be that he misses me or that he wants me to know what's going on is in his life. But he continuously emails me even if I don't respond for a week.

Should I continue to ignore him or just straight out ask him what he wants? Is that a stupid idea?

* we dated for 8 1/2 years.

[meowcow]

Boys and girls take a breakup very differently.

Correct me if you think I'm wrong. But girls usually cry a lot when broken up with. They'll sob at home, with their friends...etc. Then, after a month or so, they recover and move on. It's fairly easy for a girl to find a boyfriend. If you're not picky, all you need to do is look at a guy and give him a nice big smile, and he'll take it as a strong hint and probably approach you.

Guys on the other hand are the exact opposite. After a breakup, they'll hang with friends and celebrate their new found freedom. A few months of partying is the norm. Then, things will settle down. They'll start looking for a new relationship...and realize, it's pretty damn fuckin hard for a guy to find a girl. If we give a girl a stare, and a nice big smile, she will think we're a creeper and run to the hills.

The result is, after 6 months or so of not finding anyone, the guy will reflect on the good times he had with his ex. We men have horrendous short term memories. We tend to forget what we argued about (because the argument probably didn't matter as much to us as it did to you). He'll spend some time moping, and reminiscing and that when he'll come scratching at your door hoping to make amends.

Anyway, I've seen this type of behavior many times before. Consider it free insight into the male brain

[Alone83]

So basically what your saying is he misses me & possibly wants me back? He hasn't said either of those things. Though he has made it pretty clear he wants to see me without coming out & saying it directly. I'm just afraid to ask what he really wants for fear of rejection. He emailed me again last night after I didn't respond to the previous one. I'm terrified .. I just can't let him hurt me again & can't be friends.

[meowcow]

Not necessarily that the wants you back.

The other possibility is that he feels the breakup is a loose end in his life. He may also want to make up and be on good terms with you.

For many guys, even when they break up, they don't necessarily hate their ex-gf. Many of us are happy to keep in contact, because even though you two don't work well as a couple, he still cares, and wants to make sure you're doing OK in life.

[meowcow]

If that's the case, I would simply respond to him one more time.

Tell him you're confused at why he's contacting you after all this time. Tell him you're not sure whether he wants to get back together, or make amends and be friends. But either way, you are not interested in getting back because you don't want to risk getting hurt by him again. Also tell him you do not want to keep in contact/be friends because the constant reminder of a failed relationship is too much for you to handle.

[kooper]

Straight out ask him, and explain that you are confused. If you do not want any contact at all from him anymore, tell him so and just ignore and automatically delete an e-mails that you receive from him from that point on.

[Paris13]

Apparently, after all this time, he "misses the kisses," sweetie----and may be trying to get back into your life again. If he is constantly--and continuously------emailing you "to his heart's content," then he is probably interested in more than the "pooches," he is hinting around for the "smooches." Email him back or give him a call...It all depends how you feel, what you think might happen if you did----and if you would want to hot foot down this "dog trail" again.:))

[thegirl100]

OHH wow. YES: Ask him "What the hell do you want from me?" ... then wait for his response. 8.5 years is super long. Do you even know why he broke up?

[Alone83]

He said he had no time between working & being in two bands. He said more that completely crushed me like what we have isn't special & dosnt wanna try anymore. Then stated how he hates his job etc. soon after he started seeing someone else which again crushed me. I completely disappeared, changed my # everything. We just started speaking after months of silence. I'm scared because yes I do still love him but idk.. He really hurt me. Also I have no idea if he's still with the other girl.

[thegirl100]

It sounds like you really love this guy. If so, and you have thought this through carefully, meet with him on your own terms. Find a place you feel comfortable and in control. Before you meet him write down the pros and cons... and finally ask yourself, "how will this benefit me?" or "can he ADD positive into my life?"... Be honest with yourself.