Questions: Break Up & Divorce

I’ve twice been in a position where I wanted to break up but my girlfriend who didn’t do anything wrong. It really was more of a “it’s not you it’s me” thing.

I did option B years ago and deeply regretted it. As twisted as it sounds I acted douchey on purpose (acting disconnected and taking her for granted). Truth is I deeply loved her as a person but I wanted to make it easier for her to move on. I could of dropped the axe earlier but instead I drove her into breaking up with me. Noble intentions or not above B actually ended horribly (complicated). I thought we had a mutual respect/understanding at the end. But she looked at me like I was less than human later.

So years later when I was in the exact same position again I choose option A. My then girlfriend went nuclear and threatened to seriously kill herself. In a way she proved my deep down suspicions that getting serious with her was a bad idea. Her reaction made me feel like I made the right decision. I got over that one much more quickly. But I also got to deal with some guilt that I did at one point get her hopes up.

I feel like break ups are a zero sum game.