Polls: Break Up & Divorce

Met this girl (24) online who moved to my city 2 years ago for work and things moved fast. One 3 hour dinner at a restaurant & I got the impression that she was a complete "goody two shoes." We had so many values in common... so I thought :/
2nd date she invited me over and we slept together, which caught me off guard. She initiated everything, but I went with it b/c it felt special. I didn't finish and she said "I'm sorry I'm not very good at this" which got me thinking she had not been with many people.
2 wks later we were in a relationship & the only thing I knew about her past was her one and only 9 month relationship & some dating that didn't work out. A week later at 11:30pm she gets a missed call & text from a guy saying "Hey, I miss you." She explained it was a guy she dated earlier in the year. No big deal she didn't even reply.

A week ago and a text form her ex for a valid reason created another awkward situation, which led to me asking dangerous questions. How old she was when she lost her virginity & how many guys she had slept with? I didn't think I would get unsavory answers, but I did.

She lost her V at 20/21 (not a big deal), told me I was the 8th guy she had slept with & the last guy was 4/5 months before me. With her only being 24 & a 9 month relationship in there I did the math. From the time she broke up with her ex there was an 18 month period where she slept with 6 guys. Very unsavory info, but it gets worse... 2 of them were one night stands where she invited the guys over to her apmt the very first time, the other 4 she slept with after only 2-4 dates and one turned into a friends with benefits situation for 2 weeks :/

We have already BOTH fallen for each other hard and I'm devastated. She feels AWFUL, said she was lonely & admits the mistakes & how stupid she was. I feel like she was only after sex, had no respect for herself, didn't learn from the mistakes & am having a hard time seeing her as the same person I thought she was.

Divorce rape is basically raping a man financially and send him down to poverty long term through legal processes with the family court involved into your private lives.
While typically men commited sexual assault (rape) on women, women typically commit divorce rape (legal financial robbery) on men.

Any ideas how to not fall for that trap? 😅

Which of these Dodge Vehicles would you choose?

Which of these Dodge Vehicles are your favorite?

Imagine that they broke up with you and felt sorry about it would you get back with them

Sometimes, people break up when they will be separated by distance for a long time: they are going to college in different states, one is going into the military, a family is relocating due to the breadwinner's employment, etc. In those cases, if the relationship had been progressing satisfactorily before the separation, I think reunions make sense.

If you break up because of physical or emotional abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, or any other reason that adversely reflects on the quality of the relationship, then reunion does not make sense to me. Of course it is POSSIBLE that people can change their behavior, but experience has shown me that it rarely happens. When you reunite, it is most likely that after the initial excitement subsides, you will encounter the very same problems that you previously experienced. . . and you will probably encounter them much sooner the second time around.

I dated a girl in 1979-1980, and we broke up because she felt guilty about leaving a prior relationship and wanted to return to that partner. Adios! But years later, I found her, rekindled the relationship and eventually married her. Big mistake, but at least I learned something from the experience.

Have you ever reunited with an ex? How did that work out for you?

You know those relationship arguments that don't end things between you but rather makes you resent the other person for their stance in the first place. In other words those petty arguments we have with each other in coupledom. But even after you break up, you still haven't had your say about it to your satisfaction. Example: I've been arguing my side of an old fight about Bikinis with my Ex in my head for the last 30 minutes or so. (I broke up with her 8 years ago dammit! I shouldn't be having this argument anymore.)

I'm not the only one that does that, am I...

When I hear someone say "We are taking a break (or a time out) on our relationship to work on personal problems," I am always skeptical that both partners are being honest. Quite often, that is a way to break up that introduces the idea of a break up gradually so that the other partner is not overwhelmed at once with rejection and the partner initiating the break up can try to escape some guilt for breaking up.

I also realize that a couple could say this and both be very sincere in their belief that they are breaking up to allow time for personal growth. I don't really see why you would need to take a break from the relationship for that purpose; your partner should be there to support you in good times and in bad times and they should be able to help you with whatever it is that you need to do. They can certainly give you some "alone time" without the necessity of breaking up. However, I know that there is some popular notion that "temporarily" breaking up is an appropriate way to approach these circumstances.

What is your experience with temporary break ups to work on personal problems? Was it an excuse? Was it a valid reason? Did it work?