Do you believe in "leaving the door open" after a break up?

[beebella]

What I mean is: When you break up with someone, are you ever open to the idea of getting back together with them?

Yeah, I like to leave the door open

Nope, I prefer to shut the door and move on completely

It depends on things

[Vonnie06]

I think it depends on the how things ended and the type of relationship it was. If it was a roller coaster one where mostly it was toxic no because leaving it open leads to waiting and wondering on the what if or the maybe if or hopefully. you don’t move on and can cause you to maybe 1 wait for someone and always think about the other person or 2 isolation to wait for the other person and be bitter. If it was a great relationship and it was a recent break up then why leave the door open and not work things out before time passes.

[Hurlyburly]

No. I always make sure only to initiate a breakup when I'm 100% sure about it and expect the same of my partner. Therefore there's no way back into a relationship. I'm open to trying out to be friends again after some time has passed though.

[fashionguy17]

If it ended of good terms, why not? For example... what if someone breaks up with another person, because the person moves way? Or, what if the person breaks up with another person, because they are not right for each other *at that time*? Circumstances change and people change... so in those two instances, why not try to reconnect after breaking up?

[coachTanthony]

---------------------There will never be closure if you keep that door open. When you close it...throw away the key.

[coachTanthony]

Thanks for the MHO

[Cynicaldreamer]

That "door" is not only closed, but I change the lock, deadbolt, keys, and make sure they have NO way back in!

No, even in cases of a mutual breakup, I rather not. It never works out. If you break up with a person, there's usually a good reason it didn't last.

[AwesomeCookie]

I never leave the door open ever. If you're willing to break up with me or I'm willing to break up with you that means it was the end so don't do it unless you're done 100%! No child's play here.

[SydneySentinel]

Nope. When I'm done, I'm done.

[SydneySentinel]

There is one guy I might consider and that's because we had a mutual breakup, on good terms. But he is married and just had a baby. So it wouldn't happen. We might be totally different people anyway, as that was more than a decade ago.

[Investigator]

The average person (myself included, I guess) is terrified to death of change. Humans, as a whole, are creatures of habit--whether we want to admit it or not. If we've become used to a certain routine, then we want to maintain it. If there's a chance that we can keep that routine, even if it's at our detriment, we will probably do it because it's what we know. It's easy for an outsider, with no vested interest, to look into the world of a miserable, complacent couple and ask "why don't you guys just break up?", forgetting that they would probably be doing the same thing if they were those people, with whatever baggage that might entail.

Additionally, to say "I'm leaving the door open" in your relationship is the kind of "will they, won't they" sentiment made by people who can't commit to anything, let alone a simple decision. It's cheating by any other name (unless you're not exclusive) but it sounds better to say "you're free to walk out" because it means dodging responsibility. The other obstacle is the juxtaposition: the comfortableness of "the established, daily ritual" against "the great unknown" of trying to make things work with a new person... because god forbid change happens. "Different is bad", right? I mean, what do you want, new and dangerous or boring and familiar?

TL;DR "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't."

[looneymalooney]

Depends on how you and the other feel about this and what you are looking to get out of it.
At first I left the door opened, hanged out with the group, but she started to avoid me and act strange. It was like trying to gravitate around me, but pushing me away at the same time.
I realized that she wants me around only so she could get herself over me faster and without much pain, be bitter and mean towards me and "prove" herself that I'm no good anyway. But not all of a sudden, rather bit by bit. In a coward way.
Just like with an addiction that some are not ready to let go of, suddenly. Some don't remove the ex from the start, but slowly reduce the interaction with that person.
At that point I figured her behaviour out, I shut everyone down in that group. I was there because of her anyway. She seemed to get more dramatic about it afterwards, so I was right. She was just trying to push me underwater, so she can mentally keep herself afloat, without giving a shit on what was happening to me and how I was feeling about it.
The best decision ever for me. I still have the same address and phone number, just that I did not hang with/around her anymore. She never initiated asking for help or to talk, so it's clear what her plan was all along.
This was the first major suffering of mine. And I do that now: if the girl wants to talk or discuss, I do it, but otherwise, I'm not going to raise a finger, I'm not going to actively do anything to bump into an ex or to talk to them.
I feel that no contact policy from my side, gives me peace of mind. No questions, no stupid scenarios, no nothing.

[godfatherfan]

Nope. I have only gotten back together with 1 women in my life after she broke it off. I realized she was that kind that says "well I guess we shouldn't see each other anymore" as a reply to a fight. When I didn't call her for several days, she called me saying "what happened?". I explained that if she says we are done, then we will be done. The next time she pulled that crap, I was finished for good. You have to talk things out in a relationship. If I break up with someone, it is after I have thought through things every way possible 10000 times and just couldn't see a way to stay together.

[Lynx122]

No I don't like that kind of uncertainty. I can deal with breakups I can just get over it. But when I don't know if were gonna be together or not I don't know what to do with my feelings. I can't have closure and move on but then I just feel shitty because the feelings are still there and I don't know if the other person cares or not etc. It just sucks.

I like to make up my mind about things and I like when othe people do that too. Not just in relationships but for instance if I plan a trip and someone changes their mind if they're gonna come or not 5 times then I'll just do something alone or not go at all even if they wanna come in the end because the back and forth annoys me.

Some people just live according to their mood but I can't do that.

[_food_lover234]

I'm going to be honest, about a month ago this guy dumped me- I was devastated. I blocked him on all my social for the no contact period. then after getting better, I decided to unblock him, figuring he probably would never contact me again- there was just no point if he did. I was wrong, recently he did, and it was one of those "how're your holidays" things. it made me think of him for the next 2 days and all the progress I made was gone. so if I'm being honest, I would say its best not to leave the door open, that's the best option, but obviously I'm not doing the best option and it only makes thigns worse. so i think once its over- just let it be over and dont leave the door open.

[bubbles328]

I like to leave the doors open but not to get back together. Unless the guy has been a total idiot I don't block. You had a relationship that went wrong you could still be friends with people and that doesn't mean I have no time for you either. Some people seem so bitter about their exes and I have no idea why. Breakups aren't pretty at the best of times there will be hurt and pain even if it's mutual but I try not to close the doors on that person. At one point you loved them if you genuinely loved them feelings like that don't just turn on and off.

[JackSmy]

Not if it is a bad break up. Most of mine were just us growing in different ways and wanting different things or going to separate schools, distant jobs, and so on. I don't consider those 'break ups', but I never look back, and while I have stayed in touch with some, for a while, past is past, and we want different things, meet different people, and so on. We have moved on in our lives.
"Leaving the door open," suggests that maybe some aren't over the break-up and think it can be resolved. Why? if someone doesn't want me, or thinks that 'breaking up' or threatening it will help them get their way, or change something that they haven't said, then why would I want to be with a manipulator?
I'm open and honest, always, and if we don't work, together, then it's just that. Past relationship, and I remember the good times, and move on.
So many other people to meet, and new ideas, new likes to share, foods to explore!!
Never look back, but remember the best parts, maybe.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

It depends, but all my exes know I’m the type that’s never going to talk to anyone unless they apologize and take full accountability for their actions. Which they’ll never do so they’ll never message me. Even then no I wouldn’t get back together with the ones that did me really dirty. If we ended on good terms an amicable breakup then maybe.

[Daniela1982]

Really depends on the reason for the breakup. If it was just bad timing or because of something dumb, then yeah. B

ut if he was a jerk or cheated then no way Jose!

[lightbulb27]

I have. And it's been a bad idea each time!

The issue is that nothing changes other than getting a break. The underlying problem is you, and him, or one of you. And until something changes, it's the same ol' crap hittin the same fan. Maybe a little sweeter at first, but it will honestly get hotter and worse.

[Screenwriter]

If you've truly come to the breakup point, there have to be many reasons. If those reasons haven't been dispelled, close the door. I mean every, single one. Learn from the past relationship and avoid your part and their part in the failure. From failure you learn success.

[DanDavid]

Unless we had been appart for years or so, and matured into basically a different person at that point, I don't see why I would ever get back together with an ex.

I mean I can see a high school love that ended due to immaturity, and then years later with time and distance, after meeting again, that this time it works out. That would be an example.

But I would not leave the door open for an ex to get back into my life any time soon and while they are still orbiting somewhat close.

[Jjpayne]

I'd like to consider friendship for sure but being active in dating, it's hard to go back with a number of choices but I will say if I get threw ten dates and I can't find a match for her, it's something to think about. But I don't plan to burn bridges either. I think it's fair to say I can't stick with just the first girl that accepts me, I have to look around. You never know who's a good fit until you have seen the others to get idea.

[Drumlin2001]

Are think there are circumstances where both apply. Some relationships happrn at the wrong time. Given another go in a better time they can work. Some can't.
When things came to a head, my ex revealed something in her personality which was a deathnail to anything ever being restored.

[MysteriousDarkness]

I would shut the door and strat to tey to move on with my life without them. Does not matter how it ended because I will not wait around for them and not be friends if it ended mutually because of where jobs take us both for example. The reason I would not be friends is because I would see them as more than a friend which would eventually ruin the friendship.

[seniorghostman]

Nah. The farthest we could have gotten we went and I never break up I get broken up with so she could no longer deal. If she does the “friend” thing and move back in on emotions it’s all up to her to make it work and stuff but I’ve never gotten back with an ex. Only been a booty call when she needed some.

[Nogard1973]

In a relationship? No. there's a reason we broke up/divorced/went our separate ways & they are still valid. Besides, I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't trust.

As friends? Maybe. Depends on why we separated originally.

[SimpleRhubarb]

Shut that door and keep it locked under most circumstances—if you broke up, there’s probably a reason. An exception would be if you broke up due to distance or some other reason where you thought you had to.

[ecfresh]

I used to be, or thought we could just be friends. Then I learned it’s better to just move on and remove them from your life

[DOGMA1954]

If your having problems in the beginning and things go south, getting back together will not change anything at all. It may be good for a short time, but things will return to what the relationship was when it ended. Time to move forward.

[LoU_Hades]

I did the mistake after my first relationship. I leaved the door open, she came, drank the bar empty every time and went back to her emotional supporter that I never could be.

[IAmRedThunder]

You wouldn’t break up with someone and someone wouldn’t break up with you if you guys could last as a couple. The door gets shut completely. We would break up for a reason.

[lofii]

You must not know about me

I can have another you in a minute.

Matter of fact, he'll be here in a minute. Baybaayyyyyy

[beebella]

Ok, Beyoncé.

[lofii]

Queen B*

[Saris1]

My exes are exes for a reason. I devote myself to my next partner. If I see my ex in public I will be polite, but, that's it.

[MannMitAntworten]

No. Never have I ever gotten back with an ex. Whether it ended by my doing or their’s. The end has always been the end.

[kajoharudo12]

I can't come back, because then I'm no longer fully invested, and I simply fear for WHEN she leaves again.

[Derick529]

it would really depend on their actual relationship and how was the breakup (as in if it was a bad breakup or a gentle one, like they grew apart slightly).

[Jackiedenna18]

it depends if the person cheated or not or if it was a mutual breakup on good terms

[Bluemax]

To friendship? Absolutely.
To a relationship? No.

[ArrowheadSW]

Depends on the situation. Although I have never gone back to dating an ex.

[Neroyamato2]

Probably best to shut the door but there are certain scenarios that would be understandable

[Juxtapose]

It really depends but usually I am open to letting people see the error of their ways.

[Liam_Hayden]

No, with the exception that I will if the breakup was due to circumstances beyond our control. Like we meet, but she is already scheduled to attend grad school far away.

[Apope16]

In communication I shut the door completely. But in mt heart there is a small open door

[ChiTown33]

Not if they broke up with me. One strike you're out. You made your decision now you have to live with it.

[jamesgoldman]

I have with my exes but one moved to Poland and the other went to university so both were break ups to avoid the inevitably doomed LDR

[Navarro26]

Depends on how deeply you two feel about each other

[Dolemite510]

If it was a rough break up then of course not but if it was amicable and we just grew apart I think it’s ok to keep the door open for occasional hook ups after u break up if u still talk on occasion

[BoxySama]

I don't even know why anyone would pick anything other than"it depends"

Though I guess you could get fucked over, that is totally a realistic scenario

[SirRexington]

I feel like the door was probably closed for a reason. Best to shred it like in Monsters inc.

[douride2]

I used to think that way. Now when it's over that it.

[19LukeM94]

I know few "doors open" cases which ended with reunion but personally I close the door instantly after a breakup

[Scarecrow13]

It would depend on the reasons. If it is because someone has issues they have to work out and they seem to have worked them out then maybe.

[shorty45]

It depends on the cuz of breaking up like maybe they just need time off and back together but if it was something really big deal like cheating for example no way going back

[nicholas91]

depends on the relationship and reasons for the split.

[CallMeGarth]

No. The reasons we broke up will still be there later, so why even go down that road?

[Supermosh1990]

It really depends on things but mostly yes the door must be shut

[manofstyle]

These things are really case by case. There's no way to say what's right at all times, especially if one person moved.

[brkninpcs70]

I used to be a leave it open guy, but after failing at two marriages, I am securely in the nope colomn.

[bklynbadboy1]

Nope I slam that door there you ex for a reason and if it didn't work the first time what makes you think the second time around would be better

[DiscomfortZone]

Hell no. I'd never been in the habit of forgiving stupidity.

[Slim57]

I've learned it doesn't work out for a reason and from now on will move on if things don't work out the first time

[JoBaby01]

Lol there’s a small door open in the back of my mind that me and my ex will get back together and I think we will!

[florafauna]

I think if you breakup someones it that obviously not meant to be and you both deserve find happiness.

[Chris006]

It is over for logical reasons usually. Otherwise why would it need to end?

[rockrewls]

Nope, I prefer to shut the door and move on completely.

[Dongtai]

Nope. I change the locks