Is breaking up over text ever acceptable?

[coachTanthony]

YES. (leave comment as to why)

NO. There are always better ways to break it off with someone

See Poll ( I got nothing )

[Jjpayne]

I'd say in face is preferred over text most of time. It might be more acceptable if you first met over text vs. In person but overall if it is possible break ups should happen in person. However, I've found it's much better to do it in one method than not at all. Over ghosting, at least it lets someone know where the stand. Clearly it is right to want to do this in person but if distance and time have separated you, sometimes a text message is better than getting nothing.

To put it this way, if I knew a girl held a standard to never break up unless it was in person but never could bring herself to do it in person (not involving choice but nervousness, she has made up her mind) I'd rather her text me than make me wait.

I think it's also different for the deepness of relationship too, the greater amount of time invested in the relationship, the more necessary to do it in person.

But safety can also be am issue too...

This is not always cut and dry... At least to me

[torgor67]

Yeah it is acceptable technically if you have a good reason such as the partner cheated on you or something and if you see them you may end up regretting doing something and text can be a lot less chaotic as since you are not speaking to the partner you don't have to worry about outbreaks or anything crazy like that. However at the same time it can feel a little insincere in the sense that you didn't visit them to break up which can hurt certain people as they may feel that they don't have any value or something. You can also comfort the partner better if you are with them as well which can help a lot. But overall I think doing it over text is acceptable but not always preferable in every situation which is why wisdom is sometimes needed to decide on the course of action to take.

[coachTanthony]

Good points! Also when you do it over text you give away the opportunity to get closure for yourself whether it was their fault or not. I like clean concrete clear breaks where we both understand each other.

[BeachBabe96]

Strictly because I previously was in a VERY toxic relationship ended that way by me... anytime I tried to in person he would manipulate me and make me either just flat out feel like he was simply my only option and the best I would ever get by putting me down or start begging me to stay in turn causing me to feel responsible for hurting him and absolutely terrible. So after almost an added year of this horrible relationship my family and friends said just to call it quits that way and be away from him when it happened. Needless to say he tried everything in his power to find me and take me away with him but ended up burning or trashing all of my stuff that I had left at his house (his sister confirmed this) and then tried telling me someone "stole it". That's the ONLY reason I say yes to this.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I believe it's pretty impersonal. I also think a huge problem with today's society is that so many people have no idea how to communicate, or at least not in person. I think if for some reason you can't meet up to do it, a phone or video call would be the second best option. At least it's more personal that way.

[highandhidden]

Yes! I absolutely agree. Just because you break up doesn’t mean you can’t do it or talk about it face to face, just because technology allows it doesn’t mean you should do that (the easy way), it may be easy but it doesn’t put your heart to rest like speaking about it face to face like we humans are supposed to do, we are social beings

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@highandhidden Yes, very true!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I would say no. But for some people that seems to be the only way they communicate these days. So if that's the only way you've normally communicated with them then 🤷🏼‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

That is true. Some people's main communication is text which is completely whack.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree 💯

[All4ur_pleazure]

@Brainsbeforebeauty
So very true. It’s as if people have forgotten how to talk to one another face to face.

Yet here we are carrying on these conversations not ever having seen each other!! 🤣😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@All4ur_pleazure 🤣🤣 right 🙂

[OlderAndWiser]

Acceptable if the other person may become violent and there is a realistic concern for safety.

[btbc92]

My answer normally would be a NO. There are better ways to handle it. BUT realistically speaking the answer is YES. There are reasons for breaking up over text is ever acceptable:

1. You are in an LDR.
2. The person your with is abusive has serious anger problems and refuses to be civil.
3. One or both of you have got severely ill and is better off doing it that way [with somebody else with you of course]
4. You need to get it out of the way immediately before you delay it and either never break up or God forbid somebody ends up cheating.

In other situations, you are better off just doing it in person. When it doubt, ask yourself why you're breaking up.

[razelove]

Even if you're afraid face to face will result in a confrontation that may escalate to violence, at least call so they can say their two cents.

I had one girl a couple years ago, she worried me, was acting unstable like nitroglycerin, but I still took her out to dinner to break up. She of course yelled right when she saw it coming so she could end it first, which was fine by me. Then she started kicking and punching around on the ride back so I had to drop her off on a highway at gunpoint.

I didn't see things escalating that far, and she probably thought I would just take her attacking me. Man, I could go on and on with stories of crazy, that's just freshest in my mind.

So breaking up without seeing the person is a ok if you think some shit like that could happen.

[mindNsoul]

For safety reasons sometimes it is. If the guy is violent or imposes any threat to a woman's safety then 'yes' go home to your parents, friends, or in the safety of your own home and then text him and block him. Some men don't take no for an answer and are very forceful or pushy. So yeah I would say it is acceptable and recommended sometimes.

[mindNsoul]

I will add that some men you will need to break up with them a hundred times and they would still give you drama and won't leave. Sometimes you just have to cut the umbilical cord and save yourself the headache of going over the 'Whys' and the 'Ifs' and the 'vague promises' and the 'last times' just save your energy and time. You owe no one who has mental issues nothing 🙂

[coachTanthony]

There will always be one off scenarios in life... for sure

[8lutty]

"dont own" doesn't mean one can't help. seriously mental issue should be treat as physical issue like cancer or so, people so cold toward mental

[mindNsoul]

Helping is a different argument and not the responsibility of the victim. We absolutely can't ask victims of mental or physical abuse to help their abuser because he/she got mental issues that are left untreated. The victim safety takes priority. They owe them absolutely nothing.

[8lutty]

i dont mean they "have to help", my point is they can "choose to help (or not)", guess i dont clear on that, it just that ur post make me think u are supporting the idea of totally ignore mental people.

[mindNsoul]

No not at all dear.. I was saying that for safety reasons a victim of such circumstances might use text messages to end a relationship while being in a safe place far away from their abuser.

I understand your point of view and in general I do agree with you of course. I appreciate your feedback 🌹

[8lutty]

yeah i realise that after read ur posts again haha

[G3tAClue]

No. I don’t think so. It’s disrespectful to do it over a text.

The only acceptable time to break up over a text is if your significant other is abusive and being there in person would be dangerous. Also, abusive people don’t deserve better than a text.

[egarcia1360]

I voted yes, the key word being EVER. For the most part, I think breaking up over text is disrespectful and frankly unacceptable. However, as others have said, certain situations may warrant a text break-up, like a long-term relationship in which texting is already the primary mode of communication or an abusive one where breaking up in person could be dangerous. Generally, though, I think a phone call is the least you could do even in these situations, although less so the latter since abusers don't really deserve to be let down gently or respectfully.

[All4ur_pleazure]

I think it all depends on the situation.
- a relationship where there’s violence all across the board and you’ve finally escaped the relationship then by all means send a text.
- you’ve been trying to break up due to something so bad you can’t even look at the persons face. Sure send a text

Otherwise do it face to face. Doing it through text is a cowardly move. Especially if the break up is just one of those we’re just not working out type of things. Text can be so one sided.
BUT
The way the world is now with everyone so connected to their phones people have forgotten how to talk to each other face to face.

[rjroy3]

Other than concern for bodily harm or damaged property. No, not acceptable behavior. That said, that's for official committed relationships. You have the label and everything.

For all pre relationship situations like just talkin, regularly hooking up and haven't had the convo, "hanging out", whatever you want to call it. Then that's different.

If you've met and gone out on 2-3 dates and aren't feeling it. Ending it via text I think is reasonable. Because you never had that kind of relationship.

Because it's largely based on the type of relationship you had, the shared investment and so on.

[AzureGirl]

Maybe if it were a long distance relationship and no other forms of communication were available but otherwise no. Face to face is best.

[coachTanthony]

Even with long distance you can do a video chat or even get on the phone right?

[AzureGirl]

Yes, and even those are much better options than a text message.

[RydiaMagnifique]

If you're afraid of the person due to let's say him being physically, and/or sexually abusive, it's much safer than in person to do it over text.

[Mehzmeh]

Hell to the naw!!! That is very immature. And who does that? If you can be brave enough to be in a relationship. Then be brave enough to say it's over. Don't be a punk!! Lol. It has happened to me twice. I had to go to that girls house and make her tell me face to face. And then I said... Okay have a good life. Lol

[MistiGal]

Generally No!
But my last boyfriend which was over 2.5 years ago, l did it to him because he stole money and other items from me, when l found what had happened, l was in total shock, so l messaged him, that l never wanted to see him again!
There are exceptions.

[Porcelaine]

Well depends on what kind of relationship it was. How close, how much of it was through text vs in person. And some people have difficulty saying tough things in person, so they put it in text. I think its more important if you give a good explanation, genuinely try to be respectful.

[GraveDoll]

I honestly feel the problem with texting in general is it has replace so so much when it come to how we interact. So I can see why people do it over text and think it ok.

do i think it right. No.

But let say if it a danger issues than yes but if you ready to just split than i think face to face is always best.

[Anonymous]

If someone was a POS to you, then yes. When I say POS they were cheating, over the top rude, physically abusive or they lied about something really big.

But if they were none of those things you just “didn’t feel attracted” anymore than breaking up over a text makes you a selfish coward. Especially if you were dating for 2 months or more. It’s second only to ghosting.

Give someone the respect and at least call them. I broke up with my last ex face to face. It was an excruciating 2 hour ordeal and it got ugly (she threatened to kill herself). But I walked away knowing I did the right thing. I have no regrets or guilt about how I handled it.

[NatashaJ]

If the person makes you feel like your in danger for breaking up, or your scare of their reaction aka you realize you are in a abusive relationship. Who gives a fuck about common courtesy texting is a safer option. Also, make sure abusive piece of works don't know where you live! I also don't think ghosters or flakes deserve a better break up then text messages to be honest.

[HeartBugRaleighNC]

Sometimes for some people in some situations it is the best choice they can make. Getting distance from a person whose mentality justifies violence revenge punishment suffering and the implementation of fear manipulation, criminal behavior, conspiracy, compulsive dishonesty, or an unapologetic lack of consideration to others used in their episodes. Get a protective order first, prepare the obvious targets from most likely attacks, they then text to inform they are shut down and can't get nothing but some unavoidable prison time to guarantee not to be worth any damge they can do.

[Rosesandcheese]

No it's kind of inconsiderate. It's like you're not even giving your partner any courtesy or respect. This is something very personal and painful and it almost seems like people who do this sort of thing do it to avoid facing the other person or being upfront about it all. Running away from their problems and such. Unless it's an exclusively online relationship I don't see why you can't break up with someone face to face out of respect for what you had with them.

[4eyes2mouths]

Depends on how much respect you have for the person. If they were shitty I would text them. At first I thought it wasn't acceptable until I broke up with an ex who was psychotic and she ended up smashing my car window with a hammer while trying to prevent me from leaving. After that moment breaking up over texts when needed was preferred.