I won’t say “never,” but there needs to be a very good reason.
Text feels like a more comfortable choice, because you...
1. Have the option of ignoring the person
2. Thinking of what you need to say before you say it
3. Don’t have to deal with the emotions associated with breaking up (i.e. the person crying/yelling/etc.)
However, the reasons listed above only serve to make things more complicated in the long run, since it has a higher chance of making the break up not a clean one. I think one of the key factors of a well-done breakup (which is a weird to say) is a certain amount of bluntness. If you’re breaking up, you need to state you’re breaking up, and you need to be clear that this is permanent as of now. In the end of the day, the person is going to feel how they’re going to feel. Trying to control that is not your responsibility, and it’s a meaningless venture as well.
Texting a break up makes it all to easy to try and treat it as trying to salvage their feelings simultaneously, which is a recipe for disaster. Clarity comes first that you’re breaking up comes first, and saying that there is nothing the person can say to change your mind is second. (If you don’t know why you’re breaking up, why are you even breaking up in the first place?) Picking up the pieces comes later. If you’re not clear, you’re confusing, and that’s frustrating. This is how people get exes who won’t let go, or a messy breakup that didn’t define between “taking a break” and “breaking up.”
Nevertheless, I think text is good if the person is abusive. If there is a physical danger, don’t take the risk. I’m debating on whether calling or not is better than texting— abusive relationships are tricky, but I digress.
All other cases, I honestly see no reason to do it by text as opposed to a phone call/skype call/whatever.
This is how people get exes who won’t let go, or a messy breakup that didn’t define between “taking a break” and “breaking up.”
Excellent point!
I would prefer it in person, and always had it as a policy to face these things head on.
I think there could be times in which it would be better to break things off with a text, but only extreme cases in which you expect immediate violence as a reaction, then in person would be out of the question. And by phone, although might be a good step to overcome and achieve that final closure away from such a dangerous person in an effective way... Well again if you can expect the other person to assault you from breaking up with them, probably them yelling and making threats at you isn't something you look forward to either.
Otherwise, I go for a "do to others as you wish was done to you" approach. If you wouldn't appreciate someone breaking up with you over text, then be congruent and break things off the way you would prefer it to be done to you.
Not that you would want to be broken up with, but likely someone ghosting you out of their life without a word, or making the relationship so unbearable so that you break up with them instead might not rank top on your list. I'm sure many also prefer to do the talk in person. In a way, at least to me makes me feel like the person cared enough to take the time to do it directly and face me while going through with it rather than choose the easier way out.
I've done It once and it has been done to me once. I did it when I found the person to be extremely convincing, and in person even more so, and I was done and didn't want him coming back.
When the guy did it to me, I didn't really give it much thought other than being really upset about the breakup in general.
I also did it once. Wasn't pretty. Met up later in person for the closure part.
That was nice of you! Same!
Old school, who I am answer: No feel that should be done in person or at the very least by actual phone call.
Technology fucking up "real " communication/all people wanna do is text answer: Yes actually have, but that's only way that person knew how to communicate so 🤷♀️
I like the way you think
@bklynbadboy1 ❤thank you
No thank you for being a good woman
@bklynbadboy1 🤷♀️only being me
Opinion
57Opinion
No but I've done it over the phone and not in person.
Even if I fear the craziness I bought a sports cup and several firearms/holsters along with making a sap just in case of such events. Over text you're being a coward and really allowing a debate, it's one step away from ghosting.
Face to face you get closure, they get closure and can see if it's truly over, or something that can be worked out. Also if you fear the craziness, it is easiest defused face to face with the sucker punch rather than over a text where they have time to stew and work themselves up over meanings that aren't there.
Be clear, be straightforward, and treat people you're with how you would want to be treated, even if they haven't extended that courtesy to you.
The exception would be if they are physically abusive and you live together, then call the sheriff to bring a peace officer to collect your belongings, end it with them there, have your witnesses, get your stuff, and get out. I know of very few states, or countries for that matter that don't have a similar process.
If we’re going to make a rule let it be this;
Only break up via text if you feel the confrontation will endanger your life. Don’t do it via text because it’s easier or you don’t want to hurt their feelings, their feelings will be hurt regardless because they’re losing someone. A face to face breakup gives everyone the closure they need to move on. When someone gets ghosted or dumped via text it makes it harder for them to move on (that’s my experience). If you’re going to say goodbye, do it the right way.
I’ve only broken up with a girl through text once and it’s because I thought she would stab me if I did it face to face.
Unless your in an LDR, ALWAYS in person. Only do so if you feel your life is in danger, make sure you tell somebody where you're going and its in a public place and not in odd hours. Never do it over text. It will cause so much miscommunication and make the other person lose respect for you. So unless they don't want to talk to you, its best to just get it out there to that person somehow.
No. When someone asks you to be his girlfriend/her boyfriend, they do it in person, face to face. So if you want to break up with them, you should do it in person, that's a way of showing respect, and I know this may sound weird but... that way it would be less painful than if you did it through a text message
If they cannot do it in person for some reason and have to wait a while before they see them then the text is acceptable. Better than postponing the inevitable or having the person thinking that things are good. Phone call is also a more respectful option, especially if it was a serious relationship. If it was serious even after the text I imagine they would meet up and talk before splitting up for good.
Given the opportunity, I would ALWAYS do that in-person.
However, a personal example of when this just isn't feasible is when you live a significant distance away and your S. O. isn't answering or returning your calls, and it's just not possible to even get together without wasting your time (and being a creep) hunting them down. At that point, I think leaving a phone message or even a text message is perfectly justified.
I wouldn't bother meeting up with a cheater to break Up with him. A text is enough in that case. Or If it's not safe to meet them in person because they have violent tendencies. Or If it's a long distance relationship
Yeah that would be different if they cheated.
It's very lazy and unfair to the other person, it brings no closure or understanding as to why the relationship is rendering. People need that cause it helps with moving on from the end of a relationship. I would only do it if you know for certain that the person's response could be life threatening.
So true only a coward would that
I think you should never break up with someone over text but it also depends on the circumstances. I hate being broken up with over text but i have done it once myself. Its probably hypocritical but i had a valid reason. My boyfriend would always cancel dates on me. So i didn't want to have to organise to meet in person when he cancelled all the time. So i did it over text so I didn't have to be cancelled on and drag out the break up any longer
No. It's just plain disrespectful to your partner, I think they would deserve for it to be in person. Only cicumstance I would allow for dumping over text would be like if you found out your partner was cheating on you or something I don't know
If it involves more than an hour drive just to say, "Hey Emilia, I am here to announce our break up.", I'd prefer doing it on a call. If for some reason, we couldn't talk on the phone, I'd do it over text.
Definitely, positively not. Best in person. If there are extenuating circumstances, then 2nd best via video. 3rd best at least via voice call.
Breaking up with someone is not as bad as ghosting them, but only very, very, very slightly so.
Well depends on what terms you are in your relationship and the situation. In my opinion if your soon to be ex isn't a crazy dangerous person, I'd say meet up face to face and be straight forward to make it clear on that person that you no longer want to be in a relationship with your soon to be ex. Now if for example that person is abusive and he or she is the kind of person that will kick they're ex ass after breaking up with them, I say sure better safe to break up by text
It's tough but while the practice is distasteful I'd rather do it over ghosting them keeping their life on hold. Just let them know you are moving on but I'd say this it's better to do with a date or a short lived relationship but if you have been together... whats a good number... longer than a year then you need to do that in person, you owe it to them
I broke up with my ex over text but only because he was threatening me so all bets were off then. Otherwise, the classiest thing to do is face to face.
No. Doing that says a lot about you. You're a COWARD
I did it once back in 1994. Met up later on and did in person but wow I am not proud of that.
If the relationship is very short then I don’t see an issue with it. If it’s been over 4 months of dating, then that should be done in person
Never! The bare minimum is a phone call UNLESS there are legal ramifications and you need a record of conversations
Unless you're worried for your safety or something then breaking up over text is a lame cop out.
I was just going to say that cuz I've had that experience where I thought something bad was going to happen
Never done it because I thought it was in poor taste, but doing it in person made it even harder when I had to break up with my ex. I think he saw it coming unfortunately, and it was just really awkward and hurt me to see him so sad. I had to do what was best for both of us though because I didn’t want to be with someone I didn’t love anymore
You want to buy her a drink to break up with her? Nope, a nice text well written, who got time for meeting for that? Lol, if she needs to talk about it face to face I'm up to it but I don't feel the need for that.
Now one might say I'm a coward but why would I waste her time for that? I just don't see the point "hey let's go on a date I need to dump you, bring your favorite dress and some candoms, who knows what can happen? Let's PARTYYYYYYY"
It should generally be done in person or by voice but if the person is avoiding you because they know a break up is coming or if they are legitimately difficult to get ahold of then you make have to break up by text.
I think if they are physically abusive or dangerous in some way, yes this is absolutely acceptable. In any other case though I don’t think this is the way to go. At least have enough respect to tell them on the phone if not in person.
I feel it depends on the situation. If you know they're going to freak out then yes, please do it over text and be safe. However if you've just fallen out of love or something then I feel it's better in person
Breakup with someone over text is a coward thing. Have the guts to tell your partner that you wanna break up
If you don't value that person and have no respect for them you might do it over text. If it's someone who you value and want to remain friends with, you probably will do the right way. Obviously doing it over text is cruel, impersonal and it could leave many questions unanswered and loose ends untied. Reality is that people will break up in both of these ways regardless whether we think it's right or wrong
The only time I think it's a good idea to break up over text is if you would be in danger if you did it in person. If you're trying to leave an abusive relationship, you don't owe an abuser a face to face break up
Only immature people refuse to have hard conversations.
I think it's perfectly fine. But I'm open to opposing viewpoints. Also, I suppose it depends how serious the relationship is.
I do, think, however, that if your breakup message is sent by text, then you should offer them the chance for rebuttal. If they disagree with your proposal to end the relationship then you should at least hear them out and give them the chance to explain themselves. (This doesn't mean that you have to approve the extension that they are requesting; that's entirely up to you.). But in this instance I'm talking about established relationships. If it's just someone you're talking to, then you technically don't owe them any opportunity for rebuttal; just tell them it's over and that's that.
I've done it and don't regret it. Sometimes the person just doesn't even deserve the time and money it takes to get to the meeting 😅 like they've been cheating and lying? Just get lost. It's still better than ghosting.
Because it's the war we all have grown to think , believe, and feel. Think about this at one time you cared about this person, was their other half and they was yours yet you don't have enough respect for even yourself to do the right thing? what does that say about you?
No I feel like that’s very cowardly and impersonal. If you can do it in person, try to do so even though it’s not the easiest thing to do. The person deserves that much respect at least.
I agree if you start it you should be woman or man enough to break it off
Breaking up over text is only fine when there's no other way.
Sarcastic "you deserve someone better" or "thank you, it was funny" is much more enjoyable if you can see the reaction.
No that’s cowardly in person to me it’s sleazy unless your life in danger.
I've only done it once and that was because he wad abusive and i was told to do so by the police for my own safety otherwise personally no Its not
In person always shows u cared but sometimes if its to toxic i wouldn't see anything wrong with doing it over text
You should try to avoid that but at the same time, you don't really owe it to them to meet up anyway.
Lol never done it
I either ghost first or we mutually ghost, no in between.
Typically we always come back together at some point though and just stay friends with benefits.
If it is a toxic and abusive relationship, it is better over text in order to avoid them swaying you back in
Depends on the type of person you're dealing with and their level of maturity.
Depends on the situation. Last girlfriend turned out to be a bitch, and I lost respect for her. It wasn't worth driving 20 minutes to do. Call it what you want, but if I bo longer care about you I'm not going to make the effort
It a phone call rather than text, but same difference
I dont want to write an essay about it. In short she was just disrespectful as shit in public and got pissed at nothing all the time and got dramatic. I got sick of her attitude
It depends situation if you're long distance then obviously ya or if they won't come see you through text or phone call
Sure. For instance if they believe the partner would get violent.
In person if u are dealing with someone “normal”, but if u are dealing with someone who is psycho then text is a better idea
I just got broken up with over text, but because he goes to college over an hour away and that was why we broke up lol
The way I see it is if the person doesn't have the decency ( or the balls ) to do it in person, then you're better off without him or her.
No. Only cowards do that.
It's fair to say that in person, no matter what is the reason. Maybe, sometimes isn't the best way to say the whole truth, but only face to face.
I don't know if its still talked about in school. Letters are ok but ceartain things should always be done in person. Well emails and texts are the modern equivalent of letters. Breaking up should be in person
Both men and women should have the dignity to do it face to face. Unless you're a coward.
One shouldn't be a coward. Do it it person unless you're hundreds/thousands of miles apart.
doing it by text is the cowards way out and shows a complete lack if respect too
Yes you can break up that way but ideally it is not the best way to break up also.
Considering that most people break up by ghosting, a text message is a big improvement over that. I would be grateful to be told in any way, instead of having to figure it out for myself.
because fuck it the relationship is over, does it matter how ur gonna fuck up someone else's day.
To be honest I think it is fine if you have not been dating long or if there is no other efficient way.
Kinda had to once since dude had a gun and tended to act on his emotions a lot
No! Always in person. I mean you really want to be there to see the hurt on her face right? She might even start bawling. If you broke up with her over text you'd miss all that.
Well you should not do this UNLESS you feel threatened and are scared by what you think they might do, safety is ALWAYS the number 1 priority
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