Polls: Break Up & Divorce

i found out that my ex boyfriend is dating my roommate. well here's some background. ex and I first started dating in 8th grade going on and off. we split up before college because he didn't want to have a long distance relationship and I really hurt. well this is year 4 for me and him in college and earlier this week I saw him on campus. I said hi and we talked for a little bit and I found out that he had transfered. Well anyway back to the problem. yesturday I walked in on my roommate and him while they were shoving their tongues down each others' throat. I was shocked and I dropped every thing and ran out cause I just totally FREAKED. Well later last night when I finally thought I had calmed down, I went back to my room, slowly opened the door and walked in. they were both sitting there on the couch looking down at their hands. My roommate ask if I was okay, and I was like hell no. then she started crying and so did i. my ex just sat there like thinking I guess and he then finally said, I didn't know you two knew each other. and... I jumped in and said, why? why did you say that you didn't want a long distance relationship and yet you have one? he answers I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't know what to do or say. I mean I loved you both so much and I couldn't choose. my roommate goes, "and yet you still chose me and you dip her off?"

i ran out of the room after that and spent a night with my guy friends in their place. Today I just don't feel like trying to talk to either one of them.

Am I being to freaked or should I just go on? PLEASE HELP ME!

Lets be honest if you are not dating the guy or girl does the whole "I'm not going to contact him so he will contact me more " really apply to every situation? Because my ex boyfriend he says that he don't want me in his life but now we are talking because I initiated contact . I'm tired of reading these articles that say mess like if you don't bother him he will want to come to you. My ex has a girlfriend so you mean to tell me if I suddenly l leave him alone he will be all over me again ? When I called him he said I'm f$&#%?+ working then he hanged up but he was texting me regularly today & he will tell me when he is sad. His girlfriend lives in a different state for now

I'm 21 years old. Here's the story: a few months ago, just before I turned 21, my mom told me the man she is married to (let's call him Joe) is not my real dad. I knew something was up for several years because they both have blue eyes and mine are brown. But that's all beside the point here. The big issue I have is that she won't tell me his name.

My mom told me this: she was dating a guy, got pregnant by him (with me), and then left him a couple of weeks later. Shortly after that she met Joe and he was cool with her being pregnant with another man's baby and whatnot. I was born and his name was put on my birth certificate as my father, and I have his last name. He raised me as his own child, and had 4 other kids with my mom. I was never treated differently than any of them.

All I know about my bio dad is that he is from Toronto (and that's where I live too), went to University of Toronto, is my Mom's age (mid-forties, my mom was 23 when I was born), and of course that he has brown eyes :-)

Mom doesn't think it's important for me to know his name. That upsets me so much, it makes me very angry that she thinks that way. I've told her this and it doesn't seem to bother her. I'm constantly thinking about how different my life would be if I knew him or even if he married my mom instead of Joe. I'm totally obsessed with this and it bothers me. I'm not sure how to get my mom to tell me his name.

Sorry for the length, I just had to vent and get some thoughts from you guys.

Do you say a quick hi, or make a ''hi-facial-expression'' or do you just pretend you don't know that person?

I believe it directly depends on why the relationship ended, how long time ago, and how long the relationship lasted.

I'm asking it, because I'm really surprised with the fact that I randomly met my ex boyfriend of 4 years today, and he just pretended he didn't know me?

He was alone, and so was I. We broke up about 1 year and 2 months ago because he cheated on me and I found out. Since that happened, we lost contact but never had a bad tention between us.

Even though he didn't treat me well by cheating on me, I forgave him and never said any bad things about him..well maybe to my family, and that's all.

I think he behaved really childish, there was no need to do that, I was really surprised, because he's definitely not a shy person, and he supposed should to be mature since he's 29.

I have a boyfriend now that is perfect, so at the same time that I wonder why would any guy behave like this, I also think ''I don't even believe that one day I loved him, so why should I care if he behave like this, it's actually funny''... :D lol But then I remembered that I already saw this kind of attitude happening with my friends...and I think it's really childish and nonsense.

I mean it's not even a waste of time, it's to be polite and have manners.

So, is this kind of attitude really that common? How do you behave when you accidentally meet your ex? Do you ignore him/her? And why is that?

Thanks for answering.

I want to re add my ex on fb. I defriended us a while ago after the break up becuase it was hard for him to be in my life through the internet but not be in it. Enough time has passed where I think it would be good to be fb friends and I wanna know what's going on his life and if he's seeing anyone. Yes? No?

I don't know if my boyfriend might be right now or not, but I want to be there for him if he does, as he's coming out of it.

Some signs:

1. He's been criticizing me lately for very small things, even the most harmless of comments.

2. We haven't been making love as much lately, even though I've been flirting with him and trying to turn him on.

3. When he comes over, he stays an hour tops, and he usually comes over to get money, pet the cats, and that's it.

4. He's been spending a lot of time doing things with this one roommate of his, and other times he gets short-tempered when I ask him what he's up to or what he did today. And he won't always tell me where he is when I say "where you at?" (I ask him casually; I intentionally don't interrogate him).

5. He's bought new clothes, gotten his hair cut, become more interested in cologne ...but he's rarely around. I'd like to think he's doing it for himself, but I wonder sometimes if he's trying to impress someone else.

6. A couple weeks ago, he randomly tried a really risque new sex position with me. He's never done that before. And a few months ago, he started carrying a condom around in his wallet. He's never done that before either. And I was already 4 months pregnant with our son (planned; he actually told me months before I conceived that he wanted to have a child with me; I happily agreed).

These are just my worries. I've been trying to remind myself that it's equally possible that he's stressed out, and that he probably ISN'T cheating on me. Fatherhood's a big responsibility, and he's planning on moving in soon (he also wants us to get married). I've told him that I respect his space, his independence, and I encourage him to hang out with his friends, especially when he makes noises that he's busy or wants his space - I tell him there's no pressure between us.

Sometimes I feel like these thoughts come into my head and they're hard to get out. He's cheated on past girlfriends. But he told me he will never cheat on me.

I'm trying to remind myself that he is not. But to put my crazy thoughts to rest, I'm accepting that if in the worst case scenario he IS cheating, then...

How can I be supportive of him? If he's cheating, then I want to be understanding of where he's coming from. I don't just want to be angry or self-righteous. Maybe he's really stressed. What can I do to coax him to share what he's going through? What can I say? Do guys want to be given space once they cheat, to figure out what they're feeling? Does it do them any good to be asked if they're in love with the other woman? How do you have a conversation with someone once they've confessed to you? What are the best things you can say? I want to be ready in case that ever happens.

Men who have cheated ...what would have been your best-case scenario once you were found out or once you told?What would have been the best conversation you could have had with your S.O.?

I appreciate your advice.

I am asking this out of curiosity: what does 'cheating' mean to you? I've heard it differs between men and women, and I am wondering if that's true. If generally speaking it is, then it might explain a lot of underlying miscommunications in arguments between couples.

Where do YOU draw the line between "that's fine", "that's insulting (but not technically cheating)", and "that's cheating"?

Note: in the following questions, please consider who "the other person" is to you. That might explain where/why you draw the line. Is "the other person" a random girl/guy you meet who you think is hot? Is this an ex? A best friend? Someone you had a crush on before? Someone who seems interested in you (whether or not you're interested back)? Someone who is openly flirty with you?

If you flirt with someone else, either in front of your partner or behind your partner's back, do you think that's cheating, disrespectful, or just fine?

If you make sexual innuendos (flirt provocatively) with someone else, is that cheating?

If you talk on the phone/text/email/IM, etc. everyday with someone else, is that cheating, disrespectful, or just fine?

If you go on vacation with someone else instead of your partner, do you think that's cheating?

If you hang out with someone else, instead of your partner, and feel closer either emotionally or physically, is that cheating?

If you confide in this other person about fights you and your partner have or other things - things you don't tell your partner for whatever reason - is that cheating?

If you grind on someone else on the dance floor, is that cheating to you? Or disrespectful? Or just fine?

If you go to a strip club, is that cheating? How about if you get a lap dance?

If you touch someone else's boobs, crotch, butt, lips, etc., is that cheating?

If you kiss someone else, do you think that's cheating?

If you have oral sex with someone, do you think that's cheating?

If you sleep with someone else once, is that cheating?

If you sleep with someone else repeatedly, is that cheating?

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For any of the above: how about if your partner does it?

My ex and I broke up 4 months ago and in the mean time he's already met a new girl and has been hanging out with her and stuff. They arnt a official couple or anything and he still doesn't know if he is even going to get in a relationship with her.

Anyways...during that time I've been hanging out with his best friend a lot...who is also one of my best friends too (we were all roommates before). Anyways...we have been flirting a lot and spending time together...ive developed a crush on him now. All my friends say he likes me but I just don't know yet. He has not told me.

While he's been away for work for the past few weeks, he tells me he misses me and that I'm cute and we talk almost everyday. He's back in town now and I don't know what to do...I have not seen him yet...but of course he wants to hang out soon. I feel like this is a bad thing because he is my ex boyfriends best friend...BUT he's also one of my best friends too.

My ex did tell me I can date anyone I want to...and he did move onto another girl about a month after we broke up (we were together for years and engaged too!). That kind of hurt me to see him moving on quickly.

But now I'm over him and I can't stop thinking about the friend...hes so sweet to me.

Should I pursue this or not? Help!

Hi everybody,

I've been thinking a lot recently about exes. I have read SO many times here and on other sites and from friends etc. that their ex boy/girlfriends came back to them after certain time. It might not have been to get back together but just getting back in contact.

I was wondering, how many of you have experienced this? And if you have could you please write after how many months?

Thanks!