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- I personally can't date single mothers.
- I believe a relationship should be equal. If not, then we can just be fuck buddies, but no real commitment.
- I don't want to take on the financial responsibilities of another man seed.
- I can't accept the idea of me being put last in the priority list. This life is too short to be put last behind some other dudes kids.
- I can't accept my future wife to have a mom body which I did not create. If my seed did not do that to you, then it's not fucking beautiful.
- I can't accept the idea of not having much 'alone' time together.
I get what you mean. I am similar in that, during this stage of my life, I am looking for someone to potentially spend my life with. I am still young, and want to just explore each other for now.
I did try to date a guy with a kid, but I wasn't ready. I did my best, but he never had enough time for me, (only had a date like once every other week). That's not going to work for me, again during this time in my life. I will dedicate my time to my partner, and want the same in return.
I'm not completely ruling it out; I might be more open to it when I am older and if I'm still single. I don't really plan on having my own children, especially any time soon, but again that can change.
I know all about single parents not having time, or quality time for their S/O. Kids do
get in the way. Whether they're yours or someone else's. Fact of life. No one has
to put up with the complications and/or hassles when dating a single parent. Some
people, men and women can do this seamlessly. But most can't. I'd say at you
age it wouldn't be a good idea to date a man with kids. It's been my experience
that these relationships rarely end well. A date every other week is not good
enough. I agree. But the main point in my opinion is that you will never be #1. You
will always be 2nd place to his /or her kids if your S/O has a kid. I'll be damned
if I'll ever do that again. Not worth it. Why drive a used car when the lot is full
of new ones? That's my 2 cents worth.
Okay. Sure. Whatever. I highly doubt a single mother would want you - you'd be one of those husbands, from the sounds of it, that gets jealous of a newborn baby hogging all her time and attention.
If the kid isn't mine, hell yea I would. You act like women aren't the most jealous creatures on the face of the earth, hypocrite.
@Knenny1212 agreed
Agree Knenny
... Didn't he just make it pretty clear that he doesn't care whether or not a single mother would want him at all in the first place?
Reminds me of something I saw a while back:
https://i.imgur.com/ue5Y3zr.jpg
Makes sense to me & as a female I feel the same way. I don't want to be with a guy who already has children, who has drive by visits with his children, or who has children with multiple women. That just screams irresponsible, to me.
I completely agree. I did not mention single dads because, well, I'm in no danger of every dating one. Single parents in general are off the dating list. Why put yourself through so much trouble when you don't have to? You aren't doing yourself any justice by jumping through so many hoops with a small chance of success.
I agree. If I was in their situation & dating, I would seek out guys who already have children & work on blending our families. I mean they already have so much in common, they're probably going through/experiencing the same things. Seems like an easier relationship to make work, they can share their war stories with exes & advice on child rearing.
If only the world was as black and white as you make it out to be. But thankfully it's not.
It's not black and white. It's smart, and not smart.
Funny thing about people who think they are smart. Not always the case.
Funny thing about people who spot random crap. Not always true.
A someone who was a Single Mom. I don't judge others for having preferences or deal breakers. And if that is one of them I just moved on. Though I mentioned I had a kid beforehand, So I didn't waste my time. Now I am happily engaged to someone that treats me well and my kid like his own.
Awesome
Is she divorced, widowed or never married? The last to me is a "no-go" zone because it means her life choices are suspect. Divorced, maybe, depending upon the circumstances. Widowed is usually okay if the kids came from her husband because she is single through no fault of her own and there is no stalker ex lurking.
Divorced women and widows should never be counted as single mothers, but divorcees should be highly suspect. There had better be a damn good reason for getting a divorce, and that ain't "I just wasn't happy".
I didn’t read all you post, but I don’t judge you if you doesn’t want to date a single mother. Lol. You are free to have your own standards, and if i was a single mother and I guy rejected me because of that I would appreciate his honesty because he would probably be a bad step father for my child.
*you don’t
"Why I don't date single mothers" Uh, because fuck that.
There you go; that's all the post needs to be. But I respect your far more detailed account. You said it all, and you said it well, dude. The whole priorities thing is spot-on. Like, I see sooo many chicks online and they're like "My little man is my #1 no matter what" and I see that and I'm like "uh... so why the hell should I talk to you."
I don't have any real big issues with single mothers, I just don't want to have to raise someone else's kids before I have my own child and all the single moms I have dated in the past have all wanted me to get a vasectomy and the ones that didn't still told me that they didn't want anymore kids.
One of the problems with dating a single mother is you will never be a major priority. Her and her kid or kids will always come first and you will sit way down the ladder of importance somewhere. Then you have all the baggage that comes along with it, the financial responsibility and the thankless task of trying to fulfill the step-father role which is a 50/50 shot at best. A lot of kids have a real hard time accepting a new male figure in their lives.
Even if you had a child with someone who didn't have one before you're going end up being #2 so i don't see why it matters. You always end up being #2 unless there is no kids.
& seriously, you don't even care for the kids it they're not yours? That's terrible, my mothers ex boyfriend loves us like we were his own.
Wait, how am I going to end up being #2 if I have children with a woman who didn't have children before? We're a family now. Children and husband can have equal priority.
Becausw children are almost always #1
Littlett25 It's always been that way for me.
Are you complaining or? @Marinepilot
I care for them, but I can never love them like my own. Most men can't and are too scared to say it.
I one for one cannot and will not do it. I'm not going to feel like an intruder or an outsider in
my own home.
Oh, I wasn't sure what part you were even talking about to be honest. @Marinepilot
He's a rarity I assure you. That said, most men can't love step kids like their own.
I don't believe that for a nanosecond.
reasons to be pro abortion. even the child suffers from the persons ignorance
by the way this is good advice to all the single mothers. take the critism at face value and work things around it so you can become dateable despite having luggage.
best topic I have been able to read so far (TLDR? not this time).
being raised by a single mother myself, i agree with you 110%
I would never say never if I were you.
A single mother does carry tremendous baggage to be starting a new relationship. I know single mom's who won't let a guy they are dating meet their kid until lile 6 months to 1 year of dating and others who out of desperation date every loser going introducing them to their kids.
A guy has to be serious about a single mom to be with her and a single mom needs to be extra careful who she brings into her kid/kids life.
I always thought single moms would shove their kids at every guy to weed them out early if they don't get along with the kid.
Is dating single moms a good idea for a guy who doesn't want any commitment then?
@j_stanton a lot of single mom's do that hoping to get a guy but an awful lot get used for sex.
A lot of single guys prey on single mom's for casual sex because they see them as easy targets and some single mom's can be very desperate for any guy. It's some single mom's not all.
i think it's kind of unfair to just count them out like that
Life's unfair. Many girls cast out certain groups of men (unemployed, short, ect) just as men do to women, such is the way of things.
C'est la vie !
How is it unfair.
If you've been through what I've been through, you'd think differently.
people dont look at the big picture, only to themselves
No it's not unfair.
@dudeman It's not.
Its like who ever (is that one worrd😒) you date it are potential parents of your offspring. I mean you are still kind of young and why waste her time if you can't we all have limitations. And tbh honesty is a key to any relationship like once you lose that you are done.
Also just a random note here... a father in my mind does not father a child be raises it.
So hey its ok. it's cool and you do want your own kids.
I completely understans why people feel this way. If you cannot make your child (ren) AND me your top priority then why should I make either of you mine? It should be about FAMILY first. Not just the child.
I have no kids, but now i know why there are so many single mums out there... guy are too selfish and wants his wife to be his mammy and is jealous of his own baby.
You want a wife to be your mammy not to put her wife
The sole purpose of sex is reproduction. Even when male lions take over a pride, the first thing they do is kill all the Cubs cuz the don't wanna hunt for other lion's Cubs. We humans are not that different from animals therefore us men only want to invest and provide for our own and not someone else's child. Of course there are always exceptions to this.
another guy who wantsa mammy , put your dummy back in
Being with a single mother is not the issue here... it all sums up to being jealous of a child. What will you do when you get married and have your own kids... demand your wifes attention and scream for your bottle first
So your comment is irrelevant alphamale007. because he isn't really meaning what you are saying... if you read his take carefully... it screams jealousy of a child this will even be with his own. He will be jealous of his own child having priority
I thought the exact same. This is another reason why cheating and the divorce rate is so high. Men lose some of their woman's attention to the kids and they can't handle it. It doesn't matter whether the kids are his or not. If he can't go into a relationship with a single mom because he feels like he won't get enough attention from her, she already knows right off the bat what type of man he would be when they have kids together. I would stay far away from those men. Their characters just aren't strong enough or admirable.
No just no. It has to do with another mansdick juice being a higher priority and a daily reminder you're dating somebody elses leftovers major leftovers.
If they were his kids then it would be a differentstory.