The Truth About Why Men Won't Date Single Mothers

The Truth About Why Men Wont Date Single Mothers

They Made Their Bed and Must Lie In It

It takes 2 people to have unprotected sex. Often times a baby daddy is the one that is blamed for doing this. It is said that baby daddy must 'step up' responsibility. The reality is that the woman chose gladly to assume the risk of pregnancy just as the man is. She too is not only responsible for getting pregnant, but she is MORE responsible for CHOOSING to have the child. She could have taken the morning after pill or aborted, etc. The woman is most at fault for being a single mother.

Women Get Pregnant to Keep Men

That's right. One reason why women are single is because they use the pleasure of sex and letting a man cum deep inside them as bait to keep a man. I tried to date a single mother once and heard her backstory. She was dating this guy casually. She found out that he started seeing another woman and got jealous. So in order to keep the man in her life she came onto him, let him cum inside her, and she intentionally decided to keep the baby to pressure the man to marry her. The result? The man married the other woman instead and they have split custody of the child. She is now 36 years old, bitter, and perpetually single with a child.

Women Get Pregnant to get Money

There are many women out there getting pregnant by multiple men in order to cash in on more welfare money. Beware of single mothers with babies from multiple guys they let blow their backs out.

She is the Reason Baby Daddy Left

Sure, there are men who are not stepping up to the plate. Still, the woman might be such a drama queen that she drove the baby daddy away.

Biological Selection

If you are a tall, attractive man. There is A LOT of competition for your seed. Women think about a man's qualities and the offspring. Be careful fellas.

You Come Last

A man must to be a priority in a lover's life. Dating a single mom? You come LAST. That's not a masculine position to be in!

The Truth About Why Men Won't Date Single Mothers
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71Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • Finchie40
    Me personally would date a single Mom considering I am a single Dad , but I have limits, her kids have to be as old as my kids or older or I am not interested Cuz I don’t want to start over raising children when my kids are pretty much grown , I can see why a single guy with no kids wouldn’t want to raise someone else’s kids , cuz when I was single with no kids I didn’t want a girl that had kids , I was so against it , as well as being a stepfather is a very big responsibility as well but it all depends on the situation , so there are a lot of single parents these days because no one really wants the responsibility of raising someone else’s kids , So for me it just comes down to her situation , if the father is still in the Picture then i could handle that , cuz they still have their father but if the father isn’t in the picture she is more than likely looking for a meal ticket for someone to take care of her and her child or children , but people fall for it all the time thinking they can handle it , That’s why I am upfront with a girl when I date and I make it clear she will not meet my children until we become serious because if it doesn’t work out at least my kids won’t be effected cuz kids easily get attached as well , so that’s something I don’t do , people that do that I feel is wrong , and also wrong to throw that responsibility onto someone you are just dating , And the parents that lie about not having kids when they do is wrong as well to trick someone into falling for them , When push comes to shove most people are just selfish assholes
    LikeDisagree 14 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • stuff39

      you are an idiot lol

    • stuff39

      read the bible never date a single mother

    • Yaaten

      @AliceStars Go away Alice!

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Brainsbeforebeauty
    I have no issue if a man doesn't want to date a single mom... I do however have an issue with the men that say they wouldn't date or be in a relationship with a single mom but will still fuck a single mom or use that as a bullshit excuse to be a POS That just hits it and quits it... Just because someone is a single mom is no excuse for someone to treat her like disposable pussy... You don't want to date a single mom, don't fuck em either!
    LikeDisagree 48 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Apope16

      Agreed. But to be fair there are single mothers out there who are just looking for quality dick a couple times a week when the kid is at dad's house. If a guy ever does that it should be an understanding prior to getting physical. But to go on a date with a single mom, bang her, and then ghost her is just outrageous and wrong. But there are a lot of single mothers who just want sex... not a lot... some.

    • @Brainsbeforebeauty what if she is fine with casual dating like ONS or NSA?

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • ragequeen
    I clicked the title expecting some interesting, insightful facts. In stead I ended up badly disappointed. The reasons you stated only occur when men date psychopaths. Not all women or single mothers are psychopaths. Hell, most of them are great mothers.

    You're leaving out the most important things. For instance:

    1. Single parents are able to dump loads of responsibility on to you. Once you agree to take on a child that isn't yours, they expect you (with good reasons) to step up. This is TERRIFYING for most people who do not have children prior.

    2. You are expected to step up, but also stay out of their life. It doesn't matter if you help pay for them or help support the mother. But you are not the parent. So you can't just be a part of deciding how the child should be raised. Even if they live under YOUR roof eating YOUR food. How is this fair or emotionally healthy?

    3. Single parents often have histories as reckless personalities or are emotionally immature. If they became parents at young ages, they may never have been given the opportunity to grow fully and experience life and themselves as they should. These personality traits could be affecting your relationship eventually.

    4. The parent (rightfully) has to prioritize the child over you at all costs. Time and money goes primarily to the child. Privacy and time to grow into the new romance is a lot harder. Decisions have to be made with the child in mind. This can also hinder or disrupt the growth and development of your own relationship as it can't always grow the way or direction that you would prefer. For example, where you want to move to pursue dreams or carriers.

    5. Overall emotional toll. Raising a child that isn't yours doesn't come risk free. The child may be disturbed if it grew up in unstable environments. Or, if you form a special bond with the child but find out the relationship isn't for you, leaving will leave the child an emotional scar. And you will be a reason why it experiences instability.

    No hate towards your initial take. I just thought it lacked proper points.
    LikeDisagree 13 People
    • 1. A woman shouldn't dump ANY responsibility of raising a child/children onto the man who is not the father of that child/children. Women should be competent of raising their own child with or without the father in the frame. You cannot expect a man who has had no children to step up when they are new to the experience and very unfair to so.

      2. You are expected to step up? Right so hypothetically if I had my own house and she wanted to live with me. I cannot tell them to not make a mess or damage my house? To me this logic is stupid.

      3. Most of the time or not. Yes there is history hence why they are in that position however i must say that dating is buying a car. If you know there is something wrong with the car why would you buy it? As a project? Most people (that I have seen) think that by having a child helps their relationship. Tip it really doesn't! All you are doing is dragging a innocent being into your ball of fuck ups and its not fair.

      4. Yes you are quite right! Then in my opinion single parents should look to date SINGLE PARENTS. So then there no problems, they know the score and share similar knowledge.

      5. You shouldn't have to raise a child that isn't yours PERIOD! Love is fickle - in my personal opinion. Children will forget things over time. I forget the children who I have met through out my time and they have forgotten me.

      I agreed to some certain degree. Sorry if this seems aggressive 😅 but it really isn't.

    • Apope16

      Thank you for your deeply thought out answer. Hopefully it contributes to the debate over the points ove raised.

    • VPS13

      @the007datingcoach I still remember every man my mom brought into my life and who I started to love and them leaving and never speaking to me again. Doesn’t do a lot of good to a young persons feeling of self worth. You are probably wrong that you did not affect those children. Regardless the mom should probably be the one managing this situation. My mom had no problem getting men either so not too worried about the whole single mom dating conundrum. In any persons case not 100% of people are going to like you.

    • Show All
  • Espresso-Grande
    I disagree with a lot that you said. Every single mother that I know personally is either a single mother because her husband died, left her for another woman and disowned his kids, or didn't want the responsiblity of having kids anymore, so just up and left.

    I don't know any single mother who deliberately got pregnant for the reasons you stated. It was a joint decision to have kids because they were in a long-term loving, happy and committed relationship. That she believed last would a lifetime.

    I believe some women may have kids for the reasons you stated, but they're few and far between.

    "Dating a single mom?" you last" of course her kids will come before any man

    If I was a single mum. I wouldn't want to be with a man who believed he should be priority over my kids. In fact, I wouldn't want a man in their life who wasn't their father. I'd stay single until my kids were older.

    You're too pessimistic to give advice to men. The best type of people to listen to for advice is levelheaded people. Those who don't just give advice based on one side of the argument , because their advice is generally based on their own negative experiences and distorted perceptions.
    LikeDisagree 22 People
    • Apope16

      Jesus. Do you work in a cancer recovery ward? Maybe a suicide counseling clinic for families? How on earth do you kjow so many single moms whose baby daddys died? Are you a serial killer?

    • Quite a lot actually

    • If you read my comment correctly you'd realize that's not the only reason. Most of the single women I know were deserted by their partner

  • TruthBringer
    GREAT TAKE! I expected the amount of hate coming from the pink G@G users. Apparently having standards and preferences is something a man is not allowed to have. Apparently men are not allowed to have preferences and standards which would prioritize them. It seems (western) women nowadays are entitled to our lives and resources. Their definition of a "real man" is that of one that willl only benefit THEM and who they can also exploit. Sorry ladies, but jokes on you.

    Truth remains: No child-less man should get with a single mother. No man should take responsibility which is not his. I would rather invest my resources and time in raising MY own biological kids rather than to further someone else's genes in the gene pool. To the idiots who will call this "misogynistic" (proves you don't even know what that means), this applies to women dating single-fathers aswel. Start your own family... I'm not going to voluntair to be (financially) cucked, especially if I can get with a young and child-less woman like I already do. Sorry not sorry.

    Unless a single mother is widowed, being a single mother almost always reflects negatively on the woman. Poor choice in men, lack of impulse control and poor judgment skills is often the cause of them ending up as single mothers.

    I'm going to leave this here:
    Like 6 People
  • Hyped_up_on_coffee
    Wow. That’s a really sexist point of view. Sometimes condoms break or birth control fails due to antibiotics.

    Some women’s parents also shame them in to having a baby and keeping it. I have openly told my mother that if I personally had an accident , I would go get an aborting. She said that was awful and she also thought the alternative of giving a kid away to be adopted and away from the grand parents is awful. So I’m sure this is a scenario.

    Both men and women have the potential to be terrible parents and the dynamic often changes when they have a baby instead of a practice puppy. Sometimes the women get angry that the men don’t work hard to make ends meet. Or they become frustrated because they are expected to work , take care of the kid , cook and do house chores. Or the man leaves because she got fat.

    You don’t have to date single mothers if you don’t want to , but don’t put them down as people either. It’s probably just more important that people are taught about how the dynamic of a relationship changes with a baby , safe sex , or that it’s just flat out better to get a puppy first.
    LikeDisagree 11 People
    • He is just being general. He doesn't mean in every subjective case.

    • @TrainingDay no he kind of just went on a rant blaming women , it was a couple of paragraphs. It’s ok to personally not want to date a single mom but to vindicate them as a group is just awful

    • Iliketea

      @TrainingDay he is mentioning every case in which the woman is "wrong" and none of the many other situations

    • Show All
  • Laciandmaci
    My dad died so all of YOUR takes are wrong for my situation. My mom was a single mom since I was 2 because of him dying not because of the reasons you stated. She is still single by CHOICE! She does not want a man or anybody.
    LikeDisagree 19 People
    • doesn't mean the op was wrong. And you point out that the man wouldn’t matter to your mother so... perfect example.

    • Apope16

      Your situation has nothing to do with the article. The article is why MEN dont date single women. Its not about why mothers refuse to date. You have 12 likes because we celebrate the love of motherhood not because your point refutes the article

    • This is sad🙁

    • Show All
  • Qdbrown
    I will never date single mothers again. I have dated a few.

    First, why be in a relationship where you come last? The kids always come first, and you last. There is no spontaneous dates.

    Second, why be with a woman who has all ready had her womb and self used? She might be good for bedroom fun, but she is not quality anymore. And to break it down, a quality man does not want to cuck for another man. Most single moms are very well used. They have no issues letting guys from all walks of life mount her for some recreation.

    Third, why date a woman who has most likey started making bad decisions, less she be a widow? It's all ready obvious she impechious and is not going to make a reliable life partner.

    Fourth, you could bond with the kid, and then she either dumps you or even worse, calls you the father and has you pay child support for just being her boyfriend. There was a woman in Ohio that made her apartment neighbor who had no relationships whatsoever, not even friends with benefits, make him the father and forced child support because he tried to help her watch her son for free during the pandemic, when she had to work. Judges have ruled that any father is better than no father.

    Fifth, If your a single father, why would you put your children into a position where her kids are going to walk all over yours when issues start going down, fights between the kids start up, and everyone has to pick sides? I have a lot of experience here. Seen it, and had to deal with it.

    Six, many older children will resent you. They will try to cause problems, make it expensive when dining out with her family, and tear your stuff up to run you off. They would be inspired by their real dad's who would be bitter about you living under the roof they were financing and paying child support for. This is baby daddy dilimma.

    Seventh, there is more STD's moving through the divorced single mother crowd than the street walkers because many of those insist on protection. Single mom's seem to be so desperate, to let many guys ride them bareback in cases where they wanted to create a relationship. Not only is the wreckless, and she says she can't have another one, or will abort it if anything happens, doesn't mean you two get to pile up on the child support.

    It's just a bad deal for men. Both single and single fathers. There might be some exceptions, but go in with eyes wide open. There are so many better, younger child free women who have more potential. Using the example of buying cars, that will be expensive, why pay the same for a used model, that can be had for a newer younger model? Only desperate and low values guys would allow themselves to be cucked.

    For the single mothers. Don't date. Focus on your kids. Don't share those times with others that have a high rate of failure. Wait until your kids have moved out to restart your life. Same goes for you single fathers. It stresses your kids out when you don't focus on them. They need be every reasons and not ever put in a low priority in your life. You made mistakes, you now pay the price for those decisions. Stop being a lonely selfish idiot and realize that time goes by fast. Your kids only get one chance to a descent upbringing that will pay them dividends for the rest of their life.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • Apope16

      Why be in a relationship when you come last? Yes! Exactly! I will use that on single mothers in dating apps.

  • aliali8
    Everyone knows you are just looking for excuses to hate on women. We have seen enough of your nasty attitude towards women on here.
    LikeDisagree 20 People
    • Apope16

      Look at the number of female like and the number of male dislikes. I post articles that exposes faultlines of controversy in society between men and women. The battle of the sexes here shows the point. You are triggered. Its okay. But you know much of what i said is true. You never argued against a single point.

    • aliali8

      I have interacted with you on multiple comment sections. You have a secret disdain for women and sadistic tendencies

    • aliali8

      I will never be triggered by anything that is produced by you. because you’re a anti woman extremist. Nothing you say is ever objective nor will it ever have any validity

  • Hispanic-Cool-Guy
    There's one reason why, the child doesn't belong to him. Period.

    There will always be another ex man involved in the wife of your woman wheather you like it or not.

    Single moms (non widows) are meant to have fun and sex with, nothing more.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    • Apope16

      And chances are the ex was the love of her life. Not you. Thats why she had his babies

    • That's true too most times. Lol

    • Show All
  • Arabella_Rose
    As a man whore yourself, keep sleeping around. one day you will find yourself a baby daddy then you will be blaming the "single mother" for having to pay child support.
    LikeDisagree 13 People
    • t-8900

      or a nasty STD. Condoms dont protect from everything.

    • Apope16

      Im not a man whore. Being a ladies man is infatuation and attraction of women. A gay man could be a ladies man.

    • Being a ladies man is another way of saying you have kids you never knew about.

  • Purple_Rose
    From what I've seen, at least where I live, men are more attracted to single mothers than women like me with no kids. I think it's cause I'm 25 and single with no kids. Around here, that's not normal and people assume if you haven't gotten pregnant or had a kid by the time you're 22, something is wrong with you. Around here, they almost always go after single mothers.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    • That is pretty sad... there are several reasons why someone doesn't have children or at a certain age. What a bullcrap! Girl stay you! Everyone has a own timeline to live.

    • Apope16

      I have never heard of that. But you sound smart. You are doing the right thing. Only have kids in marriage.

  • kingofthellamas
    Its funny, when we hear of someone as a single mum at work or as friends, the default thinking is that single mum fell victim to some scoundrel of a man.

    But when we consider dating, we avoid single mums because we assume she is toxic; either she forced her partner away or got pregnant to trap him for money/relationship.

    I guess the takeaway is single mums should date their work colleagues.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • Iliketea
    Yes, op. please don't date single mothers! Their children need better dads and they need better partners
    LikeDisagree 11 People
  • loveslongnails
    My first thought was "someone sounds realllllly butt hurt here. This sounds a lot like "your truth" based on personal experiences and observations". While there is some truth here, let's examine this:

    1) "It takes 2 people to have unprotected sex". Yes, and unless you either want a child, or establish who is going to do "what" during and afterwards to prevent pregnancy, then you have 2 equally stupid people. Even if he agrees to "pull out", and she agrees to take the "Plan B" pill and isn't on any other form of birth control, you're both still stupid. You want to assign the "greater stupidity", therefore the blame, to the woman because she has more options after the fact. I reiterate - either way, you're both equal idiots.

    2 - 5) All of these things are certainly acts that a woman "could choose" to do, and some women DO choose to do these things. But there do not seem to be any studies, statistics or reliable information on how many, or what percentage of pregnancies, result from these behaviors. Therefore, the frequency of this is unknown, though we can certainly agree that it DOES take place. Here's a summary from Ann Silvers on recognizing the "baby trap":
    8 Pregnancy Trap Red Flags
    #1. The pregnancy pulled you back from the brink.
    #2. You’ve made it clear you don’t want kids now.
    #3. She has something to gain from being your baby momma.
    #4. She has a lame excuse for going off birth control.
    #5. She seduced you.
    #6. She convinced you to “go ahead, I can’t get pregnant today.”
    #7. She’s not really pregnant.
    #8. She has a conveniently timed miscarriage.

    Even if she behaves in some of the ways mentioned here, the man can still insist on using a condom because of #2 . And he should, especially if she insists on #6.

    #6) "You come last". While it's true that a single mom's priority will always be to her child first, how does that differ from a married couple? How often have you heard of marriages being strained because the parents systematically "forget" about one another's needs and prioritize the children to the point where one or both feel neglected?

    I think the "real truth" about this one is that very, very few men want to raise and be responsible for another man's seed and DNA. He may love the woman, but in his heart he believes the kid isn't "his". But that's the difference between being a biological "baby daddy" and a father. Dead beats who spread their DNA and leave aren't fit to be called fathers, or even daddies. The term "baby daddy" should be changed to "baby maker" if you're not around to actually BE a daddy !! You're no one's "daddy" if you're not there raising the child.
    Like 3 People
  • Yaaten
    "If you are a tall, attractive man. There is A LOT of competition for your seed. Women think about a man's qualities and the offspring. Be careful fellas." - Apope16
    The same can be said about women who are tall (or slender) and attractive. The attractive people are the ones who are sought after, and it matters little whether they are male or female. Ugly people come last when it comes to dating and relationships, and although it's been claimed they are disadvantaged in other ways as well (ex. employment prospects), there is no solid evidence for this, only anecdotal.

    This whole post is rather biased, and not terribly helpful or insightful. The impression I get from it is that the person who wrote it just doesn't like women. I could be wrong about that of course, but the truth is that single parents, whether male or female, should have waited until they were married before deciding to have children. Children need stability in their lives, not chaos, and they need both a father and a mother. A mature, sane person doesn't decide to have a child in order to entrap or manipulate someone. People like that (i. e. sociopathic narcissists) just shouldn't breed.
    Like 1 Person
    well i had a girlfriend who had 2 kids from her previous marriage and it was a nightmare on elm street her daughter told me straight up from the beginning your not father i dont want nothing to do with you thats my mother and im not sharing her let me tell you she did absolutely everything to break us up and it worked so many year's later tried dating a single mother with 1 son from previous marriage he did the same exact thing sad part of it all is that both mothers have children 4 total both mothers won't let fathers have any contact with the children what happens is the children usually end up raising themselves cause the mother is to busy either working, or looking for a sugar daddy and mother wants attention from guys so she is on the internet all hour's of the day while the child is requiring her attention she simply sends him to his room to play or play on the floor with his toys while she still on her phone flirting with guys simply put women are not in a relationship for "LOVE" anymore there for personal gain if the relationship was strictly about love they can simply work out or talk about the situation at hand it might be love at first sight but after 7 month's she gets tired of the man and wants someone new like a woman getting tired of wearing a blue dress she will simply go get a new one "WAKE UP LADIES"men are not a object were not a piece of clothes that you simply throw out and get new we are human beings with feelings emotions we have a ❤ and a pulse so that being said if the relationship is over then its over DONT BE A BITCH AND STOP HIM FROM SEEING HIS KIDS JUST BECAUSE YOU HATE PERSONALLY HATE THE FATHER'S GUTS in the judicial system 90 percent of the time the women win custody of the child cause the women know how to use the judicial system so men take notes pay attention
    1 first the women will go behind your back and file for custody for the child while you have no idea she did that 2 then the woman will try everything to get you to be mean and hoping you hit her if that dont work she will simply without the man knowing go down to the courthouse and file a PFA ORDER which stands for PROTECTION FROM ABUSE you dont need any proof to get it she will get it automatically then with in 24 hour's without the man knowing the cops come throw you out your house now that's the LEGAL WAY OF ROBBING THE MAN BLIND so now the man is out the house she will eith sell all the stuff or transport it to a different location for the man can't get it then 2 weeks later the man will have a court hearing to defend himself about the pfa while she is there lying under oath and she gets her PFA extended for 3 year's so the man works his ass off to support the family but at the end the woman gets everything man gets nothing and that's a fact
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • likelyOK
    Two thumbs down this assumes like NO RESPONSIBILITY of the man. She drove him away?
    LikeDisagree 16 People
    • She either chose a shitty man or drove away a good one. Unless he's dead. What other options are there?

    • @bamesjond0069 BINGO!

      She tried to trap an alpha with pregnancy and he bounced (predictably), she chose to get pregnant by a loser thug, or she chased away a good man. Women control the tiempo of the relationship, 95% of the time it's on the woman.

    • @KrakenAttackin my dad died so your point is wrong. My mom chooses to stay single.

    • Show All
  • Avicenna
    I don’t like the idea of some other guy spending more time with my kids than I do.
    single moms aren’t realistic partners for those of us who practice high parental investment andxx CD want to invest in our own kids.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • The_Maphio
    Extra weight. Both emotional and potential children.
    Life is not a walk in the park as it is, even if you're somewhat loaded.

    Last thing I would want is an overburdened woman bringing her griefs on an already overloaded table.
    Like 1 Person
  • rjroy3
    I might date a single mother exclusively if she had him young and the kid is almost out of the house, while she also puts me first over her child overall. Because in that context we're a family unit that's functional.

    A guy can't be expected to play the role of dad without the authority of Dad and also being putting 2nd/3rd in life, while being expected to put her and her child before himself.
    Like 1 Person
  • Kabluie
    Yeah you see those dating profiles seeing "my child comes first!!" and that's a big step away, far away.

    If anything, someone new in their life should be an equal and can totally make time for both the date and child if they get further along.
    Like 1 Person
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