Why I wouldn't date a single mother


The above represents my opinion, and mine only, in the subject of men dating or marrying single mothers. I think that I should be best served holding out for a childless woman and starting my own family. Biological fatherhood is difficult enough; I don't need my life complicated by having to deal with someone else's child.

Still another important factor is the role of the biological father of the child in the lives of the child and of the mother. As the biological father of the child his right to have a hand in his child's life is inalienable. He may object to my way of disciplining his child and in such a case, if the mother sides with him, I would immediately end the relationship as an unnecessary complication of my life. Besides, his right to a hand in his child's life would negatively impact my own intimate time with the mother and of course my relationship with the child, because he may wish to visit his child at a time inconvenient to me and even to the mother. If she's not really over him, my life will be that much more complicated. If he wishes to co-parent the child, I cannot meddle in this and would feel that much less relevant to the mother. This is a dynamic I don't think I have what it takes to be part of.

Next, there are certain complications common to such relationships that I don't think I need in my personal life. Some of these single mothers seek men in their lives to be providers and fathers to their children. If I am to provide for you and be a father to your son or daughter, I think that part of the package should be the administering of needed discipline. From this comes much of the conflict between partners in relationships like these: I am not the child's father and both the child and the mother are likely to remind me of that, and not necessarily nicely. Obviously this is something I would view as unfair to me.

First up, I would want to work hard and expend myself to provide only for my own biological kids. I think that this is natural for any man and I am no exception. Dealing with someone else's child can quickly become a thankless job in a society in which fathers and stepfathers are often viewed as unnecessary and treated with little respect.

I have seen single mothers these days seeking dates with men. While I respect them and find nothing wrong with their looking for romance, I would not date one.

Why I wouldn't date a single mother
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  • Plitty-Tank
    Pretty smart idea. You could have to pay for children that is not biologically yours and that's stressful.
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
    • This actually happened to a guy in my country.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • midnightmoon05
    Didn’t read all... to respond.. it’s because you haven’t met me 😜. As a single mom. I am taking and moving on to the next chapter of my life with my love.
    he had more baggage’s than me. I helped him through it.
    good luck.. I’ll read if I have time
  • DWornock
    Certainly you shouldn't marry a single mother unless she is much prettier than anyone you could otherwise date. It is okay to marry a pretty 8 single mother if otherwise the best you can date is a 5 or 6 fat girl.
    Disagree 1 Person
    • The child---and the associated problems---would still come with the pretty package; besides, I would be objectifying her and she'd see through it and not love me. It's not a risk I'd be prepared to take.

    • DWornock

      Nothing wrong with not marrying a single mother. However, for me, it would be a trade off. A pretty wife would be far more valuable to me than some fat ugly wife.

    • Dude, no. Always remember the "hot- crazy" matrix. If she is super hot and sane why isn't the baby-daddy still in the picture? She is either a seriously crazy bitch who chased away a good man, or she has awful taste/judgement in men. Either situation is all bad for you.

      "Date" her (from every position possible) maybe. Marry her? Never.

    • Show All
  • Avicenna
    Most single moms put you far last and still expect you do to a lot of hard, thankless work of helping take care of their kid. Their lives are usually chaotic and they usually are most interested in your financial contributions.
    Like 1 Person
    • @Avicenna Not to mention the dynamic of the step-kids not respecting the step-Father and the potential false molestation accusations that can be thrown against the step-Father.

    • Avicenna

      @KrakenAttackin: Absolutely. Excellent point.

      Too much risk with little reward (some sex with an experienced woman)

  • maddog998
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • They didn't pull out because you lied and told them you were on birth control.

    • RosieWolf

      @KrakenAttackin Your just a dickhead that think if a woman get pregnant and her baby daddy leaves her it because we crazy bitch that lied about being on the pill but that not true dickhead.

    • @RosieWolf I think you either tried to trap the man by not using BC, or you chose a bad man. Both issues relate back to poor judgement by the woman.

  • zagor
    I know people who married women with children who wound up very happy with the situation. In fact on average it turned out better than those who married childless women regardless of whether they eventually had children together.
    • I/we sure fit that! We're both happier knowing what we like and who we are better

  • bulletbob555
    Well my mom said true definition of a batchelor is someone that gets more selective and less desireable. Those are your reasonsI you must live by what you think is right
  • Dav1ss
    I'm not sure if I agree with all of the reasoning but it's your opinion and that's fine
  • Thatsamazing
    I agree. Instant "no thanks" from me.
    Like 1 Person
  • KrakenAttackin
    Well said.
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take