Yesterday, I got rejected to put it simply. I'd like to emphasise this isn't some nice guy story but it helps anyone who finds it hard to be open and direct.
We built a strong friendship during university. But she was in a complicated sex based relationship with another male. This didn't benefit me but she was my friend, it didn't bother me. However, things changed when she kissed me when drunk in a club. We were kissing throughout the night but I didn't want to get involved with her as her situation seemed very complicated. The guy she was having sex with is in our friendship group.
That kissed released a load of emotion in me but I didn't choose to act. Why didn't I? Because it was a strange situation that she was in. Looking back, I still don't think I would've changed what I did. I was moving anyway and I wouldn't want to just have sex with someone that close anyway, which is what I think she thought I'd want.
Anyway, she eventually got into a relationship with him, even though the vast majority of those around her, especially guy friends, think it will not last because of the circumstances of how this 'relationship' formed.
Nonetheless, it was still bugging me 4 months on and I felt she was giving me mixed signals still. I just don't think you kiss a close friend like the way she did and not feel anything, especially from a girl's viewpoint. She couldn't even admit to feeling something for me and only used the word 'possibly'.
I felt hurt, not least because I don't think she's telling me the truth but I guess in life you can't keep questioning everything, because in the end it'll get me no where.
I was rejected to put it in simple terms (or kept on the side for maybe sometime one day).
It was also actually the first time I've opened up to a girl and I'm proud of myself for doing it. Next time, rejection won't feel so bad and it's made me want to just get out there and chat to more girls. I'm no longer wondering 'what if' or 'is there still something there' and when I look back in a few months, I won't be thinking of her because she didn't say she felt anything. There's nothing more to discuss.
The point of this post is if anyone (more aimed at guys) is worried about rejection, it's literally something most men will experience at some point in their life and there's no need to fear it. Asking direct questions cuts out confusion and saves emotional energy. Of course that's not for guys who know they're wanted but it's more for those who are thinking 'does she or does she not like me'.
Once you know there are two options: something more serious or a lot of time saved thinking about them in that way. If you want something, you really do need to go out and ask for it/get it.
Maybe someone can relate but if not, hope this may help some people.
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""If you want something, you really do need to go out and ask for it/get it.""
Fact!
It's a shame that you were rejected even though she was okay with kissing you after some alcohol, but I guess at least you didn't get into a half-hearted relationship. That is worse than being rejected.
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