The Cost of Dating for Women

Anonymous

The Cost of Dating for Women

Guys complain a lot about how much dating costs them and if a girl is "worth it." I don't think they realize how much we invest in hair, nails, clothes, accessories and babysitting (if needed, which can go as high as $15 per hour depending on market prices and the number of kids). If we're responsible and cautious, we're going to meet you there which means gas, tolls and parking, too. If I'm staying over, I have to pay to kennel the dog.

I've greatly cut back on going out because I just can't afford it. I'm not a high maintenance woman. I do my own nails and use box highlights from the grocery store. I get clothes as inexpensively as possible. My most recent cocktail dress came from JCPenny. I didn't buy new shoes for that occasion, but I should have because the old ones were worn out and didn't look good. I bought $40 in costume jewelry at Target to go with the dress. I paid $45 for a haircut and style (which is cheap), drove an hour on the expressway (about $10 in tolls) and paid $20 to park in the city.

So please consider the cost for us, too. I'm not saying some women don't take advantage, but there are hidden costs you aren't aware of.

The Cost of Dating for Women
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Want to trade genders?

    Most guys don't care if you cut your hair cut for the date, they don't care about your nails, and they probably never notice your shows. If you buy a dress for a date, that cost is not solely attributable to the date, unless you never wear the dress again. That is something that you do for you, not or us. If you want to just tack on costs, how about the cost of electricity to heat the water for your pre-date shower?

    You are seriously suggesting that dating is just expensive for girls as it is for guys, are you?
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I will probably never wear that dress again unless I get invited to another fancy party in a casino in Atlantic City.

    • Anonymous

      The guys actually DO care, they just don't recognize consciously what the girl has done to make herself look good. They just think that she looks like someone they're proud to be seen with. They'll say things like "you don't need to wear makeup" or "you don't need to color your hair." But if we actually didn't do those things you'd think we are ugly!

    • tyber1

      That's still not our problem...

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Stacyzee
    You're sooo right.
    I am glad you pointed this out.
    I keep my eye brows waxed, my hair constantly done, my outfit on fleek, while some men complain about a $10 dinner. I mean really? That's nothing in comparison to the hundreds I spent on self grooming.
    I honestly, wouldn't want someone in my life that made taking me out seem like a hassle.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      So true.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1349
  • loveisbeautiful
    First of all, one would assume if you had kids you would have family and friends who can watch them for free. Or, if they are old enough they can stay at a friends house. And, even if you have to get a sitter, you decide how much you pay them. So, I don't see the problem.

    Second of all, why would one put their dog in a kennal for one night? Again, you could have a friend or family member check on the dog. As long as it's fed, watered and goes to the bathroom a couple of times, it will be fine until you get home. The only time you should board your dog, is when you'll be gone for weeks at a time. So, that argument doesn't make sense to me.

    Third and most important, we women choose to do all this stuff. No one told us we had to. If you decide to pay $45 of dollars on a haircut, that was your choice. No one told you, you had to. If you decide to get a new outfit, instead of working with what you have in your closet, that's your choice. If decide to go get jewlery to match the outfit and not work with the netrual pieces you have in your jewelery box, that's your choice. We women do these things for dates because we choose to, not because we have to. So, that' s not a very good argument in my opinion.

    Also, everywhere you go in your life you have to pay for gas in your car and there may be toll fees. And, both people have to drive to and from the date. So, you're both in the same boat.

    I feel everytime I seem to take a guys side, people think I have some motive for doing so, but I don't. I'm a common sense and rational thinking person and if there's no actual logical to what the person is saying or I see it from a different perspective, then I don't typical agree with what that person say's. I don't agree that there's a big cost to women because everything they do, they choose to do on their own free will. I also don't agree that guys have to spend money on a date, if you choose to go over your budget on a date because you feel that's what girls want, that's your choice. You don't have to spend tons of money. It's all about personal choice, in my opinion.
    • Anonymous

      Actually, I don't have family and friends in this area. I moved here because this is where my ex husband is from and when we got divorced I lost all of the family support because they are all HIS family. My fanily live in other states. I have friends, but they are busy with their own families and none of them live next door who could just come over and take care of the dog. So it really is an issue for me. I have a baby sitter who charges $10 an hour. When I had to go on a business trip, she charged me $100 a day.

      I live in the Philadelphia area, so maybe things seem more expensive you're not near a major metropolitan area. The $45 haircut included a tip, which is very reasonable.

      My point is not the actual cost, because my costs are significantly lower than most of the women that I'm competing with. My point is just that women do pay for stuff that men don't always take into account. That's all I was trying to say.

    • Anonymous

      Also, if we DON'T do those things guys don't want to be around us. They want a woman who they're going to be proud to be seen with. If I let myself go, they wouldn't have any interest in me whatsoever. You know that's true. Come on.

    • Okay, I can understand that but in my personal opinion your babysitter is ripping you off. $100 a day, that's a lot and I personally would never pay that. Just like I would never pay $45 dollars for haircut, I get my for $13 and that also includes tip. Everybody is different though.

      As to your second comment, we women think men wouldn't want to be around us if we didn't look like a runway model but I don't think most men care. They just want a woman who puts effort into looking decent enough, even if that means just a shower, a little makeup and pair of jeans and nice top but they don't expect perfection. We think they do but that's not actually the case. So, as long as you look decent enough, you'll be fine. Just my opinion.

    • Show All
  • RationalMale
    the reality is, much of that is wasted.

    nails? yeah, no man cares.

    clothing? we don't know if you bought that shirt for $50 at kohls or at goodwill for $6.

    the single best use of money for a woman in dating is gym membership.

    jewelry? not needed at all.

    that, and tolls and parking doesn't apply outside of major metropolitan areas.
    • Anonymous

      This was a formal event in Atlantic City. It was definitely required.

    • He has a point though, all those costs for an average date are almost entirely overlooked by guys.

    • I concede that for a formal event in the city, the night costs a lot. But as @FistSlaminElite pointed out, for an average date, almost all those listed costs will not be noticed.

      We don't care if you wear jewelry. Or if you do, a $5 set of earrings or a $10 bracelet will probably look good enough for us.

      we dont notice if you are wear designer clothing.

      we sure as hell dont care about your nails.

      Put on jeans, a blouse, a little bit of that peachy colored cheek makeup, be fit, have long hair. and be nice. guys will adore you.

    • Show All
  • vishna
    I think what you're saying is a valid response to the women hating men on this site who do nothing but dog women and say it's so easy for us to date or we don't do anything and we get men. It does cost us money to get ready. I think women put more money into their outfit/hair/body care/etc than men. So, I can see where you're coming from. It costs both sexes resources and time to try and get a mate. And I do think women do have hidden costs that some people don't think about. The flip is that some guys don't care that much, so a little make up and a curling wand will do the trick. But if you're into a high maintenance guy or douche that expects you to be a doll-yeah, that will cost a lot. The hidden costs for the guys would be that often they are culturally expected to pick up the tab. It's a very unfair system for both. And that's why I don't support rigid gender roles.

    When it comes to your big costs, I say try putting your dog in a crate/doggy safe bathroom instead of kenneling if possible. And make the guy meet you next time. That seems most fair.
    • ManOnFire

      But the effort and expenses you put into it aren't what we ask for, those are your decisions.

    • vishna

      @ManOnFire I think men paying is one of those accepted costs, just like women dolling up in an expected procedure. And of course not everyone wants the same thing on a first date. But just how men are generally expected to pay, we're generally expected to put a lot of effort into our date looks.

    • vishna

      @ManOnFire But yea, I think her expenses are on the far more expensive side of things. But I think that's more about her culture and the type of men she chases and her lifestyle. And this may be normal in her culture, but it's still a cost. I do think the average person doesn't put that much money into their outfit/makeup. Mostly we kill ourselves doing hair and make up and maybe we buy a new shirt. Just like not every first date happens at Che Pierre, a lot happen at a much cheaper place like coffee shop.

    • Show All
  • redeyemindtricks
    ::cuts off music::

    Um yeah, y'all... am I the only one who's totally #sadface about the whole entire premise of this thing, here?

    I mean, I know some couples who live as though life has a scoreboard. They keep track of EVERYTHING. How many hours, minutes, and seconds did you spend on housework? Yeah, you totally bought gas the last 3 times, but I paid for the oil change, and that was $3 more in total! Aw shit, this restaurant costs $7 more than last week's, let's fight about it!

    This is... not how you win at life.

    Life doesn't have a scoreboard. Keeping track of every little minute thing can only lead to misery. I mean, srsly, y'all. The hell's the goal of all this cosmic accounting, here? Even if you get yr balance sheets to match up, penny for penny, once you depreciate the cost of that dress across a useful life of 10 dates... so what? What do you win?
    Certainly not any sort of harmony in the relationship!
    Do you win peace of mind? ... if so, is yr peace of mind really THAT fragile, and dependent upon such trivialities?
    Yikes.

    And I mean, this take is almost worse, in a way, because it's tallying up the imaginary scoreboard for a relationship that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST YET.

    It's ALREADY assuming that it's you VERSUS him. That you have a balance sheet, with 2 opposing columns. That yr playing a game that's zero sum.

    ... Not how you win at life.

    __

    The way you win at life is to stay in touch with yr feelings, and, if you start to feel slighted or marginalized... hey, there's this tool, called spoken language. Conversation. It's a cool thing.

    I mean, people are just all over the place, on this money issue. Some people thrive on generosity, and will actually be slighted if you DON'T let them pay. Others thrive on a sense of balance and equity, and need to feel like each party is contributing his or her equal share.

    This is not a "right" or "wrong" thing. It's just... a thing. The way you feel about this issue is the way you feel about this issue.

    You should just follow yr instincts. If you are totally incompatible, you'll find that out pretty soon. If not... just go with the damn flow, until if and when someone starts to feel resentment.

    If no resentment, then, win.

    If resentment, then, talk about it, and figure out how to adjust.

    But for God's sake, life does not have a scorecard. If you keep score like that, BOTH of you will lose.
    • Anonymous

      My point is that the guys are already scoring like that. I was just trying to point out that we are not just mooching off of them. We are investing in dating also. That's all.

    • Adekae

      AMEN. Women are ridiculous to complain about "having to spend money to look nice". And men who complain about having to pay for a date... just don't pay for it! Simple as that.

    • "My point is that the guys are already scoring like that. I was just trying to point out that we are not just mooching off of them"

      Oh lol
      I wasn't even thinking about that. Never been in a dude-pays-by-default situation in my life, so, that didn't even occur to me.

      Still, I think this is weak sauce. I mean, come ON now girl. We get dressed and dolled up mostly for ourselves, let's be serious here.
      Even if we're dressing for a boy/date? We're still dressing for him for ourselves. LOL
      You know it's true.

      Dudes could care less if we showed up in workout clothes and a ponytail. In fact, almost all of them would actually PREFER that.

    • Show All
  • JudgmentDay
    It's going to cost money regardless for either gender. They can be frugal or something. Such as going to free events or something or where there are "free" stuff that are being distributed to the public or something. It will still cost them money for being frugal or minimalistic or whatever, but just less.

    They just have to not spend any money that they don't really need to, and don't borrow more money than they can afford to pay back.
    • Anonymous

      Exactly. This particular event in Atlantic City that I was describing cost me $200, but it was a corporate event so the entire evening was free including open bar.

    • Was it like a workplace or company party or something?

      Open bar is awesome. 1 Price for lots of drinks, but still drink responsibly.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. The only going out I do anymore, but at least I had a date for the evening. So tired of being alone in a room full of couples.

    • Show All
  • Tarvold
    BULLSHIT.

    Don't give me this $45 haircut and nail polish excuse. Men don't give a shit about that, and you know it. If you're staying over and he's getting laid, he's not going to complain that you brought your dog with you.

    I have no problems paying for dates, and I don't mind it at all, but don't fucking insult our intelligence.

    Enjoy your feminine privilege.
    • Anonymous

      He'll care when the dog pees on his furniture

    • Tarvold

      If he does, do some kegals.

    • Anonymous

      You're disgusting.

    • Show All
  • phil2
    Not every woman. I don't have pets, I cut my hair once a year 14$ a cut at walmart, I don't mind the drive. I would do whatever it takes for true love. I am married now...
    • Anonymous

      Some women can pull off long hair without trimming or shaping. It looks great!

      I was married and my ex would point out every flaw like it surprised him. "Do you know you have a pimple?"

    • phil2

      I know that feeling. I dated someone who asked when I was going to get rid of my acne. I didn't date him for really long, but it is annoying and hurtful because I was suffering acne and couldn't get fid of it for a decade. He also made fun of my job and my friends. I am glad that I am not with him.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, we're both better off.

  • LittleSally
    Unfortunately they don't care... They're the victims in almost every situation. o. O
    Ya know?
    • Anonymous

      I know, sheesh. I'm not complaining... Just stating that it's not all one-sided. The whining in the male comments is just proving my point!

    • zagor

      Who is the victim? Except the babysitter (and I don't date mom's) none of these expenses are necessary as guys don't care about that stuff.

    • @zagor The men are the victims... ... that's what I said... The MyTake is directed at men, isn't it?

  • Minxxie
    Men don't even have to pay for dates!! But if a woman offers to pay or pay half, suddenly they are whining that she is "emasculating" them. Men whine if the woman does pay, and they whine if she doesn't pay, and they whine is she pays half. There is no way to stop men from whining and complaining, because even they don't know what the hell they want!
    • Pretty sexist of you to lump every man in the same category. As if we're all exactly the same. You could have said a lot of men but chose to say men instead to imply that all men do this because many men don't really complain and whine about this. Your sexism is unreal.

    • Ghosted

      @MyUsernameRules look at the male comment section. theyre doing the same thing. everyone is generalizing here

    • @Ghosted Males males and other females are too, but hers is the worst generalization and had strong obvious sexist undertones behind it.

    • Show All
  • M_A_X
    Okay, the difference here is you don't HAVE to put money into that shit. If we saw you without it and liked you, you're literally just wasting money for YOU, and not for us.
    • Anonymous

      The point is if you saw me without it you wouldn't like me.

  • Bluemax
    I recall musicbrain5 saying this some time ago. I agreed with her then and I agree with you now.

    @musicbrain5
    • Anonymous

      Thanks

  • AleDeEurope
    I'm sorry, but no woman I've ever gone to a date with has ever done anything even close to that xD
    Plus, do we tell you you gotta do all that? Did we tell you to get your hair done and get pretty nails? I doubt it.
    Most guys would prefer a girl that doesn't do all that stuff, sure, look nice, but we don't really care if you do your own hair, or if you spend $45 bucks on it.
    The only thing you can't avoid wasting on much money is on driving, but same applies to us guys, we aren't excluded on that.

    by the way, you know how much men's clothes cost? And I'm talking about good looking clothes. Women have so much variety when it comes to clothes, that you can look ridiculously gorgeous and just spend $20 on the whole outfit, but if a guy wants to even match that, he needs to spend at least $40 on the shirt xD
    • Anonymous

      Well, at my point is that when I do my hair doesn't look right. I am NOT a beauty maven. I'm a divorced Mom and more about getting everything done than pampering myself, spending hours in front of the mirror, and watching YouTube videos on how to do my hair. So this particular evening, because it was a special occasion, I did pay to have my hair done professionally. The $45 includes the tip which was well deserved.

      I know that men spend money too. All I'm saying is that I think a lot of guys who complain about spending 80 bucks for dinner don't realize that the woman probably spent an equal amount on other things so that she can go out and look nice for him. That's all.

    • And I get that, but we men also spend a lot of money just to look good, so to that amount spent, add the $80 for the dinner that BOTH of you ate.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe I just haven't met the right men. *Sigh*

    • Show All
  • Dingsbums
    I thought girls do that stuff mostly to feel good with themselves. Anyways I'm a guy and I don't complain about dating cost so I don't really care much
    • Anonymous

      Good for you.

    • Anonymous

      Actually, though, we SAY that we do it to feel good for ourselves because we don't want you guys to know how desperate we are for your approval.

    • Dingsbums

      Well do what you want

  • Braveheart4321
    If I'm on a date with you, I'm not examining your body, but your mind, I asked you out because I thought you were attractive, you could show up in sweats a T-shirt and flip flops, and I wouldn't care, as long as we can maintain a good conversation. All that money you are associating to the date is wasted, except for perhaps the gas money, which the guy is also spending.
  • RinXD
    Honestly not gonna lie im a firm believer that first dates should be very cheap and informal. I also believe first dates should have the bill split that way if one person does not like the other no one is actually out any money...
  • CorruptedDocument
    I've replied to this bitchy complaining about "waaaah, he wants me to pay! I'm the victim!" with this before

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    • Girl_Scout

      She wasn't doing that though...

    • @Girl_Scout Certainly looks like it to me, explain how she isn't. I'm open to criticism.

    • Girl_Scout

      Lets begin with you showing me where she complains about having to pay and implies she is a victim... explaining her view is not the same as complaining about being asked to pay for a date.

      I don't happen to agree with her but your statement wasn't really accurate in any way.

    • Show All
  • ClassicRocker
    The dress you're buying for a date can be worn again. You need to get haircuts anyway.
    • Anonymous

      I won't pay for the girl to style it, though, and if it's just me I'd only get it cut every two or three months and let it be scraggly.

  • Ghosted
    while its true that some of the very expensive specific stuff such as designers is our choice, i do agree with ur point that some men on here really like to downplay a womans effort into dating. dolling up and upkeep isn't taken seriously but women do it because it actually does make a difference in our chances. i dont get noticed unless i try. and by try i mean more than just looking clean and presentable. i wish that was enough. but o well, i accept.
    • Anonymous

      Yes, absolutely. But I'm starting to realize that they just don't get it. It's invisible to them. But if we didn't do it they would notice.

    • Ghosted

      yeahhhh. some men here thankfully do understand it, and I've noticed its usually men who have good luck with women who get it. even think of something as simple as body hair removal. women are EXPECTED to be hairless over a larger surface area. upkeep of that on delicate skin is sooo expensive! no man wants a hairy woman. for me it sucks cuz I've got medium skin and dark peach fuzz and my skin is extremely break-out prone. i will probably become broke from laser hair removal but its okay, i will be treated better and look nicer. its worth it. i will never downplay a mans effort or a womans effort into a relationship. its different struggles to be understood but to deny one sides struggle is just ignorant to reality.

      i also find it weird how some dudes won't have any sympathy for girls who dont get approached. i get we want more women to approach men these days, but traditional roles dont just disappear. even disney shows girls need to be approached or else there's something wrong w her

    • Anonymous

      Right

    • Show All
  • QuestionMan
    I've heard this argument before so here is my refutation.
    1) Everyone is responsible for their own expenses. If you choose to buy $200 shoes, get a $50 haircut and wear clothes made by some famous designer that's your choice. No one asked you to do that and I'm sure you'd still be desirable if you spent less on yourself.

    2) When you go out with someone you are investing your time into that person. Adding money to this investment makes the desire for a return that much greater. Women are able to easily take advantage of men by using them as free meals if they pay for her. That is why any date in which the man pays and gets nothing in return is a loss. Even if the woman is a great person, by spending money on her the man gives her the same value as that of a good or service. Last I checked a woman going on a date with a man is not a service she is providing him; it is a mutually beneficial arrangement.
    • Anonymous

      My point was that I spend as little as possible and still can't afford it.

    • I guess get a job that pays you a descent wage.
      It's not the guy's responsibility to pay for your food.

    • Show All
  • Dragonstarterplus
  • girlinthemirror
    if u look good, no matter what cost of ur clothes... i buy quite cheap clothes from popular brends for young adults and it looks good on me.
    i do my own nails and it also looks good. But i dont save money on haircuts usually.
    I spend money on fitnes and to be always in shape...
  • ikissedtheskyonce
    It does not take me that much effort to look pretty. I get compliments all the time about my hair that I literally just wake up with.
    • Anonymous

      Sure, rub it in. ;-)

  • WalterRadio
    I am well over 40. I met up with a 19 year old biology student. I asked her, "Why do you like older men?" She said, "Because they don't expect me to pay [for a date]"

    I did not quite understand that, since my generation of men ALWAYS pays for a date. Furthermore, if the woman is out of pocket for anything, such as babysitting or gas, then the man pays for that too.

    She explained how cheap the younger guys were, and how mad that made her, especially when a boy asks a girl out, then expects the girl to pay her way.

    I guess that is why some rich guy in his 40's can easily date college girls.
    • I can't see why any guy would want to date a girl who expects the guy to pay for everything lol

    • Anonymous

      Yes, being in my 40's most guys want to pick up the tab for everything as a matter of pride. I'm uncomfortable with that because I don't want to feel that I owe them anything, especially if it's a first date. I want to approach him as an equal.

    • Anonymous

      "Yes being with guys in their 40s..." Stupid voice texting...

    • Show All
  • Anpu23
    Perhaps, but again it's a choice. If the gain is not worth the cost, then don't do it.
    • Anonymous

      This is why I stopped dating. Lol.

  • Careless_Whisper
    Due to being single for over 12 years I have saved thousands of pounds. Western women just aren't worth it anymore.
    • Anonymous

      No, honestly, we're not. I think it's time we just stopped trying. The world population would decline and the planet would be better off. Certainly fewer fumes from hairspray, hair dryers, nail varnish, and exhaust from cars of guys taking women out on dates would help.

  • MyUsernameRules
    A lot of guys don't really care about nails, shoes, and your hair but if women wanna spend that much on looking good, that's fine with me. I'd never complain about paying for dates though. I like to offer to pay even for my friends at times when we're hanging out and stuff so I'd definitely never complain or whine about paying for girls on a date. I don't know why guys complain about that. If a girl does offer to split, I'd say no but my respect for her would increase a lot just for that.
    • Anonymous

      I actually texted a friend of mine about this after all the reactions, and he said he does want the girls toes to match her fingers, for her to be well dressed in something that fits properly and isn't baggy, that he wants her hair to look nice, etcetera.

    • lol that dude sounds like a weirdo

  • Chief16
    You women overthink stuff, if you take regular care of yourself, brush your teeth twice a day, pluck your eyebrows, take a bath everyday, basically practice good hygiene. I don't see why your looks would be a problem. Also, no women I've ever dated has done this stuff for me. And they look pretty good. Maybe you just have terrible taste in men.
    • Anonymous

      Apparently I do.

    • Chief16

      Really can't blame you. Its more common than people would like to admit.

  • OrdinaryGentleman
    Man... you see what feminism has done to this poor girl? Can you believe she has to do all of this to look pretty, for the man, other men and other girls? On top of that guy's request to go dutch all the time smh. @vishna hard life she must have huh?
    *cough*men need to provide transportation in a nice car -$20000
    needs a good paying job-works his ass off doing 8 hrs for date cash solely to be spent on you.
    -needs to go to barber-$30 bucks
    -clothes-$30 if we happen to be cheap that is.
    In other words this chick sounds like she wants to just paris hilton her way into the center.

    Guess what. take turns meeting each other. That way each of you are happy and no one else has to notice your psycho bitchy side.
    • vishna

      I replied to this question too.

    • faathoms

      Oh, I didn't realize you buy a new $20000 car for every date you go on. I guess that would make life pretty tough.

    • @faathoms I guess we are nitpicking as well boo hooo.

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  • Scrambledagain
    The true cost for a guy to have a chance:
    Consistent gym contract
    Consistent healthy eating (protein shakes are expensive)
    We also have "manscape" products
    Tailored suits
    We have to approach, which means going out, which means money
    The more powerful the man, the more money he has to be worth in general
    Women go for status (overlaps with the above)

    all women need to do is spend money on beauty, men have to spend money on beauty, and to be that which makes him attractive to females.
    • Anonymous

      All that stuff is true... I'm not saying men don't spend money. I'm just saying they aren't the only ones.

    • Anonymous

      And we have to spend money on gym memberships and all that, too! Men rip fat girls constantly so don't pretend it's not necessary. I didn't include a lot of other things... just the specific cost for an evening. That particular night, though it was an extreme example, added up to about $200.

    • Just be yourself on a date, you can wear something nice you already have you dont have to do your nails, just use your own nail polish at home, no date needs to be "expensive" you don't need to go all out to impress a guy, if you do somethings wrong... JS

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  • tyber1
    Sorry hun but you're wrong. Nobody forced you to have kids or pets. It's not right to complain about how hard you have it because of self imposed financial restrictions. And really, men are just as likely to have kids or pets so how does that even count towards women? Gas, tolls and parking are likewise not gender specific so they don't count towards women. As for dressing nice, it's expected that you're going to try to look good on a date. It's like how women say about guys who use being nice as a crutch, you dont get points for meeting basic expectations. It's not something that you're going to get brownie points for unless you go above and beyond, same as for being nice. All these things are a lot different than the unfair societal expectation that men pay for the date.
    • Anonymous

      All I'm saying is that men complain constantly about how much they have to pay for dinner, but I don't think they realize that the woman is spending a lot of money behind the scenes for an individual evening IN ADDITION TO many of the things men also pay for.

      No, no one forced me to have a child with my ex-husband. Jeez!

      I try to contribute toward the cost of dates. I DON'T expect a man to pay for everything, especially if it's very expensive evening. Or I'll let him treat me once and then I'll pick up the tab next time. Not all women are bloodsuckers, but it seems like guys have blinders on. They enjoy their bitter attitudes.

    • tyber1

      Or maybe just because you don't take advantage doesn't mean other women don't. I'm not disagreeing that women have more in terms of expenses, but that's different from men paying for the date because that expectation is a one-sided gender based expectation with no justification.

    • tyber1

      I don't see how it's any different than women making men wait for sex. Not ALL men are going to use you for sex, but it seems like girls have blinders on!

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  • Indigocloud
    Most guys won't notice nails and who can guess the price of clothes? Things like that really aren't necessary
    • Anonymous

      If you're going to a semi formal event, it is necessary. I texted a guy friend of mine and ask him about this, and he said he does notice if the girl's nails are done well, if the color matches her toes, how nicely she is dressed, etc. He wants the whole package.

    • zagor

      So your friend is gay?

  • StickStickity13
    And guys don't spend money on cologne, nice clothes, shoes, haircuts, gas, food, and entertainment for the date?
    • Anonymous

      Most guys I know have a few outfits of they wear over and over.

  • brain5000
    I have to wonder if there isn't a better way, because I can't afford it either.
  • CancerianMan81
    i think women need to stop making excuses and also your needs it to extreme for us men to want to consider to be dating you that's why some men do want to have for everything cause we know it's out of our reach cause the price of living is to high
    • Anonymous

      This was for a corporate event in Atlantic City.

    • still it doesn't matter

    • how i look at it is all that glitters is not gold

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  • apexalpha
    " I don't think they realize how much we invest in hair, nails, clothes, accessories and babysitting"
    so you saying single women dont spend on their image?
  • apple24
    haha! Yup! I just wasted money on an extermely expensive blow dryer. hahah! But not for a date just for me. And if I had a date I just buy some plain tops or those that are on sale for free people. I have like 3 used shirt and its was like so less. I was suprised good condition to. I understand so well. I just couldn't date someone who saw me as something he had to do. Like he had to pay for it. Its not a had to its I want to because I actualy care think. I just won't have that attiude I rather stay in my room eat ice cream and get fat. Thats just not how I was raised. I don't want any different at least when it comes to dating. I know money is expensive i would figure out other ways to work around the money! And for those guys who care more about money than love don't talk to me ever. Your not interested in me your interested only on yourself. And I need someone mature thats just final!
  • Hal2002
    And everything you mentioned, we men don't give a shit about. The cost of tolls and parking, we pay the same things. The babysitter, be thankful you met a guy that is willing to date you when you have kids.

    It makes me smile when I hear a women going on about the cost of a date, why do you wast money on a new dress and shoes and jewelry for a date. You have cloths your date has never seen, and he for the most part does not notice if it is this years or last years fashion. As for the hair,, all we notice if if your hair is long or short. So if you just left the hairdresser, it is wasted on us. So why stress yourself out over things that do not matter.

    On a date only one thing matters, if we can talk and be comfortable with each other. If we don't click, what you are wearing does not matter.
    • Anonymous

      It does if it's a fancy evening with coworkers. I don't want to embarrass my date, and if he's embarrassed he won't ask me out again. W

    • Hal2002

      It never fails to amaze me, how a woman can come up with ways to justify waste spending. I do not know one female that does not have at least one dress in the back of her closet, that can not cover a formal occasion.

      The excuses I hear most often is, I have worn that to something before. So god forbid, someone I know (meaning another female) see me wearing it again. That is last years fashion, or that it is the wrong color.

      I love being a man, I have two suites. One winter weight, the other summer weight. Both Grey, a different color shirt and tie and I am ready for almost any occasion. For a black tie affair, I rent a tux as I do not go to enough black tie affairs to justify to myself buying one.

  • ManOnFire
    But it's the women that choose to go these extra miles in expenses, not the men. So please consider the cost for yourself.
    • But if she didn't do these things, men would consider her frumpy and not ask her out. Point being both genders have expenses for dating, period. Men need to understand ALL things cost us MORE. Haircut, shoes, clothes, not fair but TRUE.

    • Anonymous

      @BrunetteNYC Thank you, that was my point. And we can't be seen in the same outfit too. often, while men can wear the same suit and shoes all they want. Or just change their tie.

    • Absolutely!! It's good for guys to hear what we have to do since so many assume we have it so easy.

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  • ConsultantIsBack
    Most girly girl type women consider clothes, makeup, hairstyling just standard basic things lol costs directly related to dating because of guys
  • the_rake
    ' I don't think they realize how much we invest in hair, nails, clothes, accessories and babysitting '

    lol, women really do live delusional fantasies nowadays.

    1. Girls do that for themselves / other women. You can accesorize but you don't have to go crazy to be considered attractive (if you already are naturally attractive)
    2. Guys have to take care of their appearance as well. Hell, I normally dress a lot nicer than most girls bother to when they come on dates.
    3. You're paying for this stuff outside the date. Nothing's more humiliating than being given the cold stare to buy gifts for the girl. It's like you are expected to be subservient and cater to her like she is some princess or something.
  • Aeon_Flux_21
    The difference is even if women didn't do all those things you'll still find guys that love you

    Women are incapable of loving a men they view as lower status.
    • Adekae

      Really? "Women are incapable of loving a men they view as lower status"?

      That is one of the most offensive things I have ever read. Not all women are shallow bitches. Just like not all men care about big tits, not all women care about a big wallet or "status".

    • @Adekae thank you I used to think the same

    • Adekae

      @Smells-like-lavender You used to think all women were shallow?

      Definitely not the case :) I love your username by the way.

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  • Crazyced
    Majority of those will be reused to catch another date if this one doesn't pan out.
    • Anonymous

      "Catch?" Lol. True that clothes and jewelry can be reused. Regular maintenance has to be done all the time, though. I just had a facial Saturday, which cost about $70. I only get one about every other month and debated stopping it, but the difference in my skin is so dramatic (I. e. practically no acne or red areas) that I decided to keep getting them.

    • Crazyced

      So it has nothing to do with dating. On top of beeing in line with what I said. Your clean face will still be good for the next guy reguardless.

      You can't reuses restaurent bills, tickets to a show or even parking fees (like you already mentioned). THOSE are real cost of dating. Not how much it cost you to be presentable on the day to day.

    • Anonymous

      The guys don't do maintenance stuff. That's my point. Nor has anyone paid for a show or dinner or anything for me in a long time.

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  • oddwaffle
    Women spent a lot of time and money to make themselves beautiful.

    Men spent a lot of time and money on their toys or beers or buddies. Until now.

    Men beauty products are on the raise (so fast that companies are scrambling to make enough). So yeah, ladies can expect men to become more handsome, smell better and generally cleaner. What the ladies shouldn't expect is for the men to fork out the money because, well..., they all spent it on men beauty products.

    Before, there was bar soap for men. Now, you have a bunch of men beauty products taking over the women's shelves' space.
    • Anonymous

      This is a very good point. My ex husband did not spend a lot of money on grooming. Basically he just showered, shaved and put on the suit from the closet. But now that I think about it, yes, there probably are a lot of men out there investing in personal care

  • notenough
    LOL GIRL SHUT UP
    WITH THAT WEAK ASS EXPENSE
    WE SPEND MORE ON TAKING YOU OUT IN ONE NIGHT
    LOL PLEASE DON'T TRY TO COMPARE IT WILL NEVER WORK
    • Anonymous

      I have never had a man spend $200 on a date. Ever.

    • Cjanes

      Man your a real charmer aren't you?

    • Anonymous

      @Cjanes As charming as you

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  • AndrewTroy
    Wow… I must be dating the wrong girls. I always get the jeans and t-shirt stuff haha
    • Anonymous

      Lol. I admit I'm mostly a jeans kind of girl. This is why this semi formal event had me in a tizzy.

    • zagor

      How is that wrong? I love girls in jeans and t-shirt, dancing in the moonlight. Who wants all that frilly BS.

    • AndrewTroy

      Where did this dancing in the moonlight come from? You can dance in the moonlight regardless of what you're wearing.

      I think I probably think this way because dating for me is entirely an informal affair

  • huhwhy
    Why you are talking about what you spent on you while we are talking about what we spent for you to make you feel special.
    • Anonymous

      But if a woman makes herself look really fantastic for you, isn't that making you feel special? Believe me I wouldn't do this for myself.

    • Anonymous

      Plus, when I was with somebody I would spend money on them to make them feel special too. I would buy something that he said he wanted, get tickets to a particular play or movie that he wanted to see, take him to the Auto Show. Whatever.

    • huhwhy

      Ok actualy I don't want fight and you are words also not bad.

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  • Polocrew
    I spend like way higher on my protein shakes, my diet and my fit polos.
    • Anonymous

      Then you are in love with yourself. Lol.

    • Polocrew

      Hm can u blame me doe? I am like hulk or something lol. Js

  • YourFutureEx
    LOL so hilarious...
  • ArtDent
    I'm cool with sporty girls. Soooo yeah
  • Anonymous
    what a bunch of nonsense. you do these for you not us. none of this shit is needed
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