The biggest mistake I see people make when newly dating someone is that they enter into the entire ordeal with expectations.
I know, in many peoples minds they're probably thinking, "It's perfectly normal to have expectations. How could that possibly be negative?" By the end of this article, you will understand why dating with no expectations has allowed me to excel with great success; in establishing relationships with others.
I want you to please consider, that when you are dating someone, it is the trial period.
This means that your relationship with this person is at a very vulnerable state. Almost everything that you do, and every move that you make, will be carefully critiqued by that person and looked into.
One bad move, could throw this person off and have them lose interest in you altogether.
Even if all seems to be shining brightly, you never know 100% where that person's mind is at, even if they tell you otherwise.
Expectation is the root of all heartache.
When you expect things from someone you are setting yourself up for a huge disappointment.
You're placing all of your high and mighty energy into thinking, I did Action (A) things went well, so I expect Action (B) to follow.
This is the most common thing I hear after someone claims they have had a successful date, or that they have engaged in intimacy for the first time with that person.
In your mind things went well, but again I will state, you never know what is going on in the other person's mind.
A million things could be!
Perhaps things went so well, that it scared that person into thinking a relationship is a huge step they aren't ready for, or maybe they feel they don't have enough incommon with you as they thought.
You never know!
You only "think" you know.
Perception is something that can allow you to be blind and not see the situation for what it really is.
So please, take the blind folders off.
Yes, everything appeared to go well from your point of view, but theirs is clearly different, this is why there has been a drastic behavioral change in them; after your encounter.
You notice that they don't call or text you as frequently.
You are seeing that they have pulled back, as opposed to taking a keen interest in you like they did in the beginning.
What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.
NEVER expect anything out of something that remains uncertain.
I expected an A on my exam but I got a B.
I expected to win first place, but instead I came in second.
I expected roastbeef for dinner, but instead I got chicken.
All of my energy went into thinking that I knew the outcome of the situation before it was even ready to present itself.
When you expect you feel entitled, when you feel entitled and you get opposite of what you bargained for, there is an eruption that will occur inside of your mind and soul.
You keep replaying the scenario of the date over and over in your mind, thinking what could have possibly went wrong when all seemed well.
A view that has worked towards dating and intimacy with a new person for me, is to understand that it is okay to want, but it is never okay to expect.
When you "want" you aren't placing all of your fuel into a reaction you feel is 100% certain.
When you "want" something you see that there is room open for disappointment.
You are looking at the situation in a practical and logical manner.
Yes, You may want the person to be as attentive as they were before your social encounter or intimacy, but you understand that there is no guarantee.
When you understand that you won't always get what you hoped for, that will be the biggest tool you need in order to quickly gather your emotions and move on to a relationship that is more suiting for you.
Person A: I wanted this to work out but it didn't.
Person B: I expected this to work out, but it didn't.
Which person do you think was let down harder?
Ladies and gentleman,
Enjoy your dates and sexual encounters for what it was in that moment of time.
Allow yourself to progress and move forward by understanding it is okay to "want" but never to "expect".