It is one of the most controversial and highly debated topics on G@G. Up until recently, I didn't even have an opinion on this subject. But after reading several mytakes and talking to my family members, I've reached a verdict: I don't think there is a definite answer to this question. Every situation is unique. It depends upon the couple's financial situation, age and cultural beliefs. For example, if an able-bodied woman is dating an unemployed quadriplegic man, of course, it wouldn't be fair for her to expect him to pay. If two broke college students are dating and surviving on ramen noodle, they wouldn't even have enough money to go on a date.
Cultural beliefs also play a big role.I have two very opinionated aunts and they never agree with each other on this topic. One thinks the guy should pay and the other one thinks she is a strong, independent women who don't need no man to pay her bills. I don't think either of them are wrong and I will explain why later.They are just two different people with different needs. I will briefly introduce both of them. Let's call them aunt Jenna and aunt Ruby.
She is dominant, assertive and confident. She is a mechanical engineer and her hobbies are playing Xbox and football with her male colleagues( she is the only female at work). She has short hair, always wears a hoody with sweat pants and doesn't wear makeup. She is looking for a guy who can cook, clean, sew and look after her kids when is away for work in a different country. She is very career oriented and work will always be her first priority. She thinks gender is an arbitrary social construct and doesn't consider herself " feminine". She feels offended when a guy offers to carry heavy objects for her at work. She doesn't want a guy to pull out her chair or pay for her meal. Because it makes her feel inferior and weak.
She is shy, timid and inhibited. She is an elementary school teacher and a ballet dancer. Her hobbies are cooking, baking , gardening, home decorating and spending time with little children. She has long silky hair and loves to dress up. She is a traditional woman and conforms to traditional gender norms. She appreciates chivalrous gestures from her husband. She is currently pregnant with twins and plan on being a stay- at- home to raise her kids. She is a devoted wife and loves to take care of her husband. Her husband loves to come home to a home cooked meal and a clean house after a long day at work. She thinks a guy should pay because it is great way for a man to assert himself as the protector. She considers herself to be the nurturer.
I still don't understand why this is such a highly divisive topic among people. Feminists should not look down upon people who believe in traditional gender roles.