If you clicked this, you know exactly what we are gonna talk about. You know this is a hot topic here which causes a lot of debate and things heat up a lot. I know I'll be getting some angry responses as well, but I'll also let you know why it doesn't matter a bit.
I don't like being very strict with this matter. I feel like thinking too hard about it is just too silly and causes more problems. But here is a list of my own thoughts about who should be paying for a date:
1) If it's someone's treat, they should be paying. If I drag him in to this then I am the one who should pay as well.
2) If it's not someone treating particularly then you have options. Do whatever you want as long as it is fair.
By fair, I mean, suppose normally you pay for dates 50-50. But if your partner is a LOT wealthier than you and takes you to that much of a rich lavish place, and/or you're the one who is broke/unemployed or having some financial crisis (it's ok shit happens), it isn't fair anymore that you have to pay such a huge amount of money even if it's just 50%. As long as it is fair for both of you and your pockets, pay however you want, it's completely up to you. (I'll talk more about it later.)
3) Regardless of who is paying or whatever decision you had, even if you're not paying or paying partially, you should bring enough money to pay fully or at least as much as you are able to pay depending on your financial situation. You never know when you might need it. God forbid your partner could have their money stolen on their way or something, or maybe they just forgot their wallet, lol, happens. Where I live such crimes happen a lot and that's when your money could save the date.
4) For me personally, I am okay with everything except him paying all the time. It would make ME feel bad if he just pays for every single date. If you are someone who pays all the time but your partner seems like they would feel happy if they could pay at times too, just let them. If they can afford it, where's the harm? One more unpopular opinion, the guy doesn't have to pay entirely on first date either. At least on first date splitting is just better.
I know that not everyone agrees with me. Here is a variation of opinions I've come across.
> The one who has higher income should be paying for all the dates.
> The money should be split (this has more variations):
>> Both should pay 50-50, equal amount.
>> One should only be paying for the items that they ordered.
>> They should switch/take turns. One pays today, the other pays on the next date.
>> One pays for transport the other pays for food.
>> They can decide a ratio depending on their income/financial condition.
> And of course, men should pay, the old school, classic, traditional style.
> But another group says, women these days are so financially independent, so they should pay!
> Who needs to pay? After you're done eating, just RUN!
I'm just joking with the last bit, but yeah, different people have different opinions, so whose opinion should you really listen to?
The ultimate answer is: yours and your partner's. Both of you may not have the same opinion. Talk to them about it and come to a decision that you both agree on. You could be an independent lady who is capable and willing to pay on dates at least partially, but your man prefers the old way of him taking all the responsibility. Maybe come to a decision that he will be paying but you are gonna pay at times too, maybe keep switching, something you both agree on. Seriously, if you can't decide on that, how on earth will you come to agreement on other things in life? You two shouldn't even be dating if this causes issues.
Does it really matter what others think? I mean, I personally don't like the idea of just the same person paying all the time but it doesn't really affect the sugar babies, they are still milking cash out of their sugar daddies on every single date, and they are both doing fine with it. You could be just calling a sugar daddy bad names or calling out on how they pay all the time ad he could come up with a response like 'Yeah it's my money and I am the one dating this so-called gold-digger not you, got a problem with that?'
And he would actually be right, it's really none of your business. Even if you don't like it (I don't either) can you really do anything about it? I don't think so. Just let them be.
The same way, you should be true to yourself as well. Doesn't matter what your neighbor, or friend, or an anonymous troll on g@g commented on your own personal choice. Again, as long as it does no harm to you and your finances, do whatever you like. You could still be asking people and take suggestions from them, only to end up choosing the opinions that match with yours anyway even if it's like 1% so why bother?
Yes, I just made a myTake to explain this one little simple thing, because some of y'all really have trouble to get this simple thing. Thanks for reading, have fun. All that matters is that you and your partner are both happy. If I missed out on anything let me know.
P.S. In many cultures women don't work or maybe in just some traditional families the girls are more willing to be free of financial obligations and rather be housewives, so they have no income and only then should a guy be paying for all dates. If you are a guy and you aren't fine with that then you wouldn't even be dating a woman like that so don't bother about it.
Most Helpful Opinions
Whoever asked who out should pay, no matter who it is. If it's mother asking her daughter out, mum should pay. If it's a girl asking her girlfriend out, the girl should pay. If it's the guy asking a girl out, then the guy should at the very minimum offer to pay.
If they hated each other and the outing was a complete failure... they never want to see the other person ever again, then split the bill no matter what.
But what if one just suggested for a date but they both came to a mutual decision about the time and place for it? Because someone has to initiate anyway.
Whoever mentioned it first is the person whos asking.