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Why You Should Man Up and Pay For the First Date (Page 5)
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Women think they're entitled to being treated like princesses by men, but they don't owe men anything LOL thanks a lot for the so called gender equality you helped to startfeminism
I prefer traditional gender roles. I can't stand feminazis
I never said wouldn't give him anything in return. If I liked a man enough to actually go on a date with one, I'd give him everything he wanted (short from sex because he'd have to work for that one)
Guys want to impress girls. Hence they tend to pay. Good write up.
Thank you. I think there is a lack of men and women trying to impress one another these days. Men refuse to put effort into women because women give up sex too easily, and then everyone complains that they can't find a SO of quality. Both sides need to step it up if they want success in dating and relationships.
If you believe you're worth it, then so will others around you, and especially the opposite gender.
Absolutely. I always felt (and experienced) girls are smarter than guys. While we try to impress you with all sorts of things that actually does not turn you on, you just read us easily and continue the journey. While we remain as day dreamers, you walk in practical life.
Have you ever considered poetry? You'd probably be good at it. I'm sure you'll find a woman out there who will appreciate your prose.
I do write poems secretly... š
Well then stop being so shy and start writing them for someone you know. Confidence is key in life and relationships. Maybe you'll impress a girl with your poetry someday.
Ah, see, there you go. While I was trying to have a prosaic approach to impress you, you read me and gave me a poetic justice.
I love it when women attempt to tell me how I should act. It's comical.
HEHEHEHEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOEHOEHOEHOEHUMHUMHUMHUM!
Thanks for the good laugh.
You're welcome
Laughter can add up to four years to your lifetime
I wonder if you posted this knowing it would spark a shotstorm?
Shitstorm*
I mean, yeah, that was kind of the point. I've actually never been on a date before. These are my hypothical beliefs. I knew this was a hot topic and would get me a promoted MyTake
You're the only one here who caught that
Yup... troll then
MHO! :D
I'm not a troll. I honestly believe the things I wrote. I'm not insulting anyone here. This is simply one of the standards I'd have if I ever chose to become romantically involved with someone
But you're correct that I knew it would instigate something. I've always had controversial opinions, even in school. I think it has shown the true colors of people on GAG. I'm certainly not the entitled princess everyone has decided I am. There's no need for this ridiculous name-calling and bashing of character
You just wrote a myTake about why you feel like an entitled princess. This is not a very convincing denial.
And then you end it with "There's no need for this ridiculous name-calling and bashing of character." You did kind of put yourself out there by posting this.
@brain5000
I'm not and don't feel like an entitled princess.
I stand by what I wrote no matter what anyone say about it. I've actually had my beliefs reinforced as GAG has only proved guys who don't pay for dates are rude AF
I agree I put myself out there. One of the girls and I were discussing all the future Downvotes we expected last night before MyTake wasn't promoted this morning. But just because I expected something, doesn't make it necessary or appropriate
Your expectations don't make the downvotes necessary or appropriate, but your opinions do, as you correctly anticipated.
@brain5000
The Downvotes are fine, but the name-calling and incorrect assumptions aren't. There's no Crime in disagreement
you can deny it all you want, but everything you say on this question so far does make you seem like an entitled princess.
I've always viewed the world differently than others, so it doesn't bother me one bit that so many people are taking this the wrong way. I'm used to it and not surprised in the least how everyone has responded.
Most people don't really understand what entitlement is, from what I've seen here
right its everyone else who has the problem, not you right? *rolls eyes*
The first date will be a walk in the park. Literally.
I think a walk in the park would be romantic. There's a park near my aunt and uncle's with a bridge that's lovely all year round
I think this is ridiculous.
Men still give their surname to their children just because "it's traditional and makes me feel good"
And want women to pay for their first date?
Hey... don't be hypocritical lol
Not all men want kids so that's a fairly weak argument.
@tyber1 if they want kids or not i know they would give theirs if it happens
Actually, since they don't want kids, they have zero preference on children's last names. I personally think it makes more sense to give the woman's name because you always know who the mother is, you don't know that daddy is really daddy. So that pretty much flies in the face of what you know.
I want my kid to be named "Onyx." No last name, just "Onyx."
If her last name happens to be Onyx, all the better.
@tyber1 agreed. I just have met too many guys who always wanted me to follow traditional rules except when i paied for him. I am sick of those hypocritical people
You're completely right. People are always quick to judge someone else for something they don't agree with, but won't admit it when the same thing comes back around.
I think men need to pick a side on this site: either you like feminism or traditonalism, or you can sit somewhere in between and take what you want from each side
This quote: "it's traditional and makes me feel good" that men supposedly say to justify forcing their last names on their offspring... is this an actual quote by your husband or some man, or did you pull it out of your bunghole? That's a rhetorical question, really, because no guy would ever say that.
Some guy has to actually demand his last name be applied to offspring and insist upon it against objection before I could accept this reasoning.
Pretty sure that most men on this site are egalitarians. I didn't say feminism because people disagree on what feminism really is anymore. We aren't picking and choosing. We're being extremely consistent for the most part.
@brain5000 huh? I always have heard that. They all started like "but but it makes me feel that the kids are mine!" And after i let him know the kids would be always his and he also can take some test, they always said "yeah but it feels wrong to me. It's traditional. It does make me feel masculine" okay so i wanted to say huh didn't you feel less masculine when i paied? lol
Those guys are wrong. Original poster is also wrong. If it weren't for the majority of the comments, this entire post would be a sewer.
@brain5000
The majority of the comments here are what's making it a sewer. They're only reinforcing my belief that I need to find a kind, respectful, and loving man who would be happy to anything for me. Guys who don't pay for dates are rude AF
Good luck with that. Hope you'll find someone to man up.
@brain5000 she's young, even though she's older than me. I can surely expect this type of thinking
Look, you want men to be chivalrous and be a gentleman with you, then you should be prepared to be a lady with him. You can't scream "Smash Patriarchy" while simultaneously wanting to keep parts of it that benefit you.
I'm entirely prepared to be a lady for a respectable man
I'm not bashing the patriarchy. I prefer traditional gender roles and despise this awful world feminazis are trying to create. Women have lost most of their value by sleeping around and aborting all of their unwanted children
One bad excuse is better than several "good" excuses.
"I can't afford it" would have been a good beginning and ending. All your other points sound like justifications for one underlying point that you either don't want to come forth with or don't realize yourself is the reason. A guy can impress you without throwing money around. A guy can make you feel special without throwing money around. A guy can show respect, without paying for everything. You say he should pay because you have better options, yet you look down on a guy that keeps his options open which you seem to be ok with when it's you doing it.
It's just silly that you say "I'm worth more than your money... but you have to pay for me to be there". So clearly you do have a price. The only thing now is to figure out the lowest price you can be purchased. So is it $200 at a high end venue, or we talking closer to $50 at Olive Garden?
I stand behind all of my points. Guys can definitely show respect without having to pay for everything, just not on the first date. Guys are welcome to keep their options open if they don't want a date with me. I would prefer a monogomous relationship, but a guy who isn't interested in me is welcome to do whatever he wants
I never said a guy has to pay for me to be there. If he takes me out on a date that costs money, then he has to pay. If he can come up with a respectable date idea that doesn't cost any money, I'd be perfectly fine with that. He'd even get bonus points for being creative and frugal. A guy can definitely impress a girl without throwing money around. This whole MyTake was about how there are more important things than money, but everyone has assumed other things from it
And that is commendable. I've always been the type of person to find more than just an expensive date. To me guys who throw money around to impress a girl and bribe people is disgusting. If someone doesn't like you for you, then it all doesn't count. Like to me a good date can be going to a local museum that has a free wine tasting, with stargazing before dropping her off at home. You get to know eachother. But that could also happen over a happy meal lol.
So you can understand where the confusion comes from, when you say the guy HAS to pay when it comes to first date AND that if it's not enough that you'll look down on him. Don't get me wrong. I understand the premise. But the way you presented your points came across as, not only does money matter. It came across as you make this world go round and no price is too high for that time. But it better not be "too" cheap (like mcdonalds).
Saying things like that suggests that what you say this isn't about is really a big factor.
I'm just saying that if you wanted to say the money doesn't matter that it didn't come through in your post that said
1. He has to pay
2. He can choose how much to pay
3. But it better not be too little
Extremely valid points you have. And your museum date sounds romantic AF. That would definitely qualify as impressing me. I've also never had wine, so you'd be introducing me to something new as well
I never said a man has to pay anything. If he can find a free date that I'd consider respectable, I'd be even more impressed by his creativity and frugality. I simply expect a man to pay for whatever date he wants to go on if it costs money. I don't think McDonald's is a respectable date idea. This has nothing to do with money, but everything to do with locale. McDonald's isn't romantic
I look down on disrespectful people who break promises. Offering a date and then not paying for it is breaking a promise. Trust is the number one key I'm a long-term relationship.
People have always taken the things I say in their own contexts, not mine. I won't blame anybody for this, but all the nonsense name-calling and false accusations are uncalled for
I did say he could take me someplace nice that didn't have to be a five-star restaurant and that a picnic in the park would be fine. I guess most people skipped over that part and assumed I was a gold-digger instead
You dialed back to make that clarification. I read your post and you never said that. Which is why I say again. If it doesn't have anything to do with money that didn't come through in the post. The only mention of "respect" was in the respect section and that said nothing in regards to the type of date or venue.
Hell, I didn't even assume you were a gold digger. It's common for girls to want the guy to pay. Just misplaced entitlement.
I wrote in the first section that a guy didn't have to take me to a five-star restaurant. I said it better not be McDonald's. My reasoning is McDonald's isn't a respectable venue for a date, nothing to do with price. People here just chose to view it me requiring a minimum dollar amount. I'm not dialing anything back and I agree with everything I wrote and will continue to back it up
I saved respect for its own column. I wrote this MyTake with organization and in the order of my preference. I specifically wrote under that section that the whole thing boils down to respect
I understand that. But your reasoning was not there in your post when you made that statement. That's my point. Maybe you understood your reasoning in your head when you typed that, but you did not follow up with actually stating that was your reasoning. Without that reasoning being specified you left people to take what you said as requiring a dollar sign lol. Just miscommunication if that is the case. But people certainly did not just read what you said and choose to take it another way. What you actually said did come across as what they thought it was.
Because even in your section on respect you never say that you don't want to guy taking you to McDonalds because its not respectable. There's no mention of that at all. You just said earlier on he better not take me to McDonald's. Then later on in a separate part that this is all about respect. Well taking you to McDonalds isn't disrespect so that's part of the reason I'm saying there is serious confusion in the way that you phrased things.
You can have your opinions, I won't stop you from having them, but saying that I implied something when I didn't simply isn't true. If you were unsure what I meant by not wanting to be taken to McDonald's, then you could've asked rather than make a false assumption
That's exactly it. Everyone has a different view of respect and what a respectable date is. You can say what you view as respect in dating without assuming other people are entitled or trying to use people
So basically all women/ relationships are like prostitutes... You pay for their time.
Like I said towards the end, I feel bad for you guys who have this mentality because you've been screwed over by women. There are self-respecting women out there, you just have to wade through a lot of murk to find them
What a wonderful philosophy! I agree wholeheartedly with you, with one important difference -- I'm not satisfied with paying for just the first date -- my goal is to fund every single date she goes out on, with every other guy she's considering as a prospective boyfriend! Isn't that weird? Don't ask me why this turns me on so much, but I love doing it... lol
In a communist society everyone would pay for dates, and we wouldn't have this discussion. We need to remove this oppressive capitalist system.
Um... that's a little extreme... that is true that nobody would pay for dates in a communist society, but I prefer freedom and capitalism. There's a lot of people who have been banished or escaped from communist societies who do not think they're better than a free one. I knew a girl in high school who grew up in a North Korean concentration camp who couldn't say anything good about communism. And as I said in MyTake, I prefer a man to pay for the first date
Communism is the best, it saves men and women from oppression by putting them in hate-free camps that they can never escape from. This is what we need to save the world.
If you love communism so much, then you should go move to one where they have the right to murder or torture you for saying things online that they disagree with.
Communism is a peaceful system of tolerance and love. That is why I have applied for a visa to North Korea. Okay? I'm just waiting on the papers.
If that's what you want, that's ok for you... until it's not... because communism isn't tolerant or loving
You're beyond stupid, or just a jerk and a gold-digger.
That's your incorrect assumption of me
You are the one being a jerk with you unnecessary name-calling
I agree with this, but neither person should have the right to call the other out for not paying for his or her own meal as well.
If that's your expectation, then you should find a different option than a girl who calls you out. She does have the right to call you out, but she's not entitled to a second date afterwards if you feel she disrespected you in doing so. Respect is the most important factor in a long-term relationship. Getting that out of the way on the first date will save you a great deal of heartache and further disrespect
I agree with you, what's wrong with paying stuff for the lady? actually i think it's hot, it makes me feel more manly to sacrifice something for a woman, i guess i'm not a stingy guy.
The only time buying something for a lady would be wrong is if she isn't appreciative. Most of the guys on this site have been screwed over by actual entitled women that they can't see women as having inherent value anymore
You definitely are a real man for self-sacrificing for the ones you care about. I'd say you're relationship quality
The same could be said 'What's wrong with paying stuff for a man? Maybe she finds it hot and more womanly to sacrifice something for the man. Maybe she's not a stingy woman.'
@yotes-of-472 Works both ways honestly.
@Kit_Kat88 Yes, a woman can do it for a guy too, it's just a gesture of love, it's beautiful!
I believe both partners in a relationship should put equal effort into each other. If a woman enjoys buying her boyfriend power tools, then she should buy him power tools
MyTake was about not being stingy. I think both parties should not be stingy within their capable means
Good take. It's the simple fact that guys on this website are whiny cry babies and think that women are always out to get them. With all the guys I dated I have NEVER heard any of them complain about paying for the first date. In fact, the guy I'm with now said he would be MORE THAN HAPPY to pay because he loves me. I even asked to pay and he INSISTED. It goes to show how these internet guys are. They are super super fucking petty about a 30 dollar meal when it shouldn't even matter that much!
Thanks. And good for you. You're lucky you found a real man.
Thank you so much. I'm not a high maintenance girl. I'm not asking him to take me to the most expensive restaurant. I even told him I would be okay with going to Popeyes and eating a box of fried chicken. He still told me that he had no problem paying even if we did go to a five star restaurant. He's such a sweet guy honestly and I'm lucky to have a guy like him. Not one of these g@g losers who always insult women for everything they do.
Watch, when this Take gets promoted these guys are gonna downvote me to oblivion hahaha
I would only date a guy like yours. You really are lucky to have found him.
I get downvoted and accused of not believing in gender equality all the time. LOL. Truth is I don't believe in gender equality. I prefer traditional gender roles and would reform to them hardcore if I met the perfect guy for me and he wanted that. Don't let anybody else's insecurities get you down.
Honey it's just these g@g guys. Have you noticed how insane they are? They literally complain about everything a woman does. They honestly need to step outside into reality because complaining about other people's actions isn't going to get them anywhere in life.
I hope so. I know some whiners in real-life, but none of those MGTOW guys they're always claiming to be. You're probably right for the most part. This site attracts people with problems
See? The downvotes are already coming in! šš
Yet you are just as petty about paying for the 30 dollar meal on first dates?
@SpecialAgentStone You're being fucking petty because you don't have 30 dollars to spend! I mean... I do! And I don't mind spending it because I work hard for my money! You however are broke and can't spend it hahaha. I even asked the guy I am with if I could PAY THE WHOLE BILL BUT HE INSISTED THAT I DONT. Goes to say how petty you g@g guys are. You care more about MONEY than your date. Money is just money.
It was inevitable. Isn't that what we were just talking about?
If you want traditional gender roles why are you even working? No abortion and no voting for you either.
It's cuz they can't fucking read that I OFFERED TO PAY BUT HE INSISTED. You know why? Because it's the type of person he is and I RESPECT his efforts. And the next time we go out I will pay. We will fluctuate but gag guys just see
"The guy pays."
"UH oh Gold digger alert šØ
*DOWNVOTE*"
@Blitzkrieger
Because I don't have any other options. My parents are shit, so I had to move out. I work to live. I don't mooch off anybody else
I think abortion is the most selfish thing a woman can do.
Cool it with the voting crap. I'm a legal citizen.
So much for traditional gender roles then.
@Blitzkrieger That's a Tu Quoque Fallacy sweetheart
Kinda makes me wonder how you come to that conclusion? I make 125k a year after taxes, I couldn't care less if the date was $3000. Money isn't the issue. It's the entitlement that is.
If she thinks she's some kind of special snowflake that deserves a free meal just because she's a woman, this kind of narcissism will likely show up later in the relationship. I speak from plenty of experience here. And since I love spoiling my SO with expensive gifts, I want to do it for a real woman who appreciates it, not a narcissist.
Think of it as a relationship filter: If she's too petty to see why both people should contribute to a date that both people enjoyed and agreed to, then by far my best option is to scare her away by splitting the bill and not enter into a relationship with her. Where I live there are just too many women who'd rather pay the whole bill then letting the man pay that I'd have to be masochistic to do otherwise.
@SpecialAgentStone Who said that she was entitled? So if the woman pays for the date is the MAN
entitled to it? Because he's a man he deserves a free meal? Honey do you realize that the latter happens too? Do you see how petty this argument sounds? How about you fluctuate or go Dutch then since it's such an issue?
The man isn't entitled to it either. In the cases where the women asked me out and paid for it, I never expected it at all. In fact I offered but gave up when they insisted. I think the default assumption should be that the bill is split on first dates, you're still complete strangers and it's a bad character trait to EXPECT strangers to pay your way.
Assume the bill will be split and don't hold it against the other person if it is, offer to pay for everything and don't hold it against the other person if he/she accepts, and be pleasantly surprised when the other party insists on paying.
I have nothing at all against the idea of the man or the woman paying for everything on a first date voluntarily, it's the expectation that someone else should pay for you that I find pathetic.
@SpecialAgentStone did you read? I didn't expect anything. I even OFFERED TO PAY BUT MY BOYFRIEND INSISTED.
Yes, I read. You agreed with the OP who DOES EXPECT men to pay her way. Which kind of lead me to believe that you do so, too, and your offer to pay was just an empty gesture.
And be honest with us here, had your man agreed to let you pay the whole bill, would you have thought less of him or dumped him because of it? Because if you had, your offer was empty and you EXPECTED him to pay anyway.
Dude, not everyone who disagrees with you on this topic is a social outcast bordering on the autism spectrum lmao. Be a little more rational.
Eh I got my free XPER it's cool now :)
@SpecialAgentStone
You make valid points for your preference. But nobody is entitled, narcissistic, or spoiled for having a different view as you
Like I said. I don't expect guys to ask me out. I've actually never been on a date. I am certainly not abusing being a woman. All I'm saying is that I'd lose respect for you as a man if you made me pay on a date you asked me out to
You can keep your 125k after taxes. Someone who makes as much as you and is still petty about little expenses is too stressful of a person for me to get into a relationship with. That just means we're not compatible, nothing else
lmao, girl, can't you read? he explicitly said he doesn't care if the date is 3,000 $ and likes to spoil his girlfriend, so it's not about the money. he stated his reasons and I don't call that petty, I call that being smart. in fact it's you and the opinion owner here who is too cheap to even pay for your own stuff let alone the guy's on a first date. pot kettle black.
men are wise to avoid y'all like smallpox. and looking at the down votes I'm not the only girl to think that.
Anyone else think this pink anon is really @Idonthaveausername logged in as someone else just so she can have someone support her opinion? Because I'm having a hard time accepting there is another woman out there that not only believes like she does but talks the same way as well...
Thanks for the downvotes I'm here all night. š
@enis_Penvy
She was actually the first person to post here. MyTake wasn't even promoted when she said that. Your shaming her is exactly why she posted anonymously
@Idonthaveausername she posted anon because I shamed her, even though she posted before the myTake became promoted? Does she have a DeLorean?
@enis_Penvy
No. Check the time stamp on her post. She posted it 23 hours ago. MyTake wasn't even promoted until this morning, about 14 hours ago
@Idonthaveausername (sigh) what you actually said was "Your shaming her is exactly why she posted anonymously".
Your reply put the burden of her post on me (if you still don't understand , read your response a third time). Again I ask, how is that possible when she posted before I did? That's where the DeLorean reference comes in...
Wow you took all the fun out of this. That should be no surprise based on your myTake but still, total buzzkill
@enis_Penvy
Sorry about that. I meant "your" as in the collective of all guys on this thread shaming her. I already hit my data cap for the month, so my speeds have slowed down, and I've had a lot of things to respond to
But that's a dick move to accuse someone who posts anonymously of being someone else. There are girls out there who think like us, but they're just too scared to post anything here now because of all the jerks who will call them self-entitled, gold-digging princesses
Well every girl is a princess. The Little Princess is a fantastic book-turned-movie that spells this out. Not every girl who wants to be treated like a princess by someone who loves her is self-entitled or digging for gold
"Well every girl is a princess."
https://youtu.be/3BE95qqkTc0
@enis_Penvy Are you that dense? I posted this before you even saw the post.
@tyber1 I really don't care. You're butthurt because I have a different opinion than you.
Sure, everyone's wrong but you right?
@tyber1 Yes.
Wow these downvotes give me life :)
Thanks for posting here before everyone else came in. Their false assumptions and name-calling have only reinforced my view. Guys who don't pay for dates are not only disrespectful, but they're also rude AF
Forget about them. I knew this would be a controversial topic for this site, but the reaction is much more hostile than I expected. I guess most guys can't handle a girl with standards. Kind of funny considering they complain about wanting virgins all the time. Well virgins have standards that they can't meet either. They really shouldn't even bother in the first place
Thanks for the support Take Owner.
I agree with your main point, but you are majorly hypocritical when you start putting girls down who wear certain brand names. And what's wrong with McDonald's? I've been to a Burger King with a guy on a first date and it was great. Of course guys have to bring something to the table, but you sound like a complete gold digger. And talking of which - putting a Latin girl like that as a poster for gold digger? Not cool.
This makes me mad just reading and I'm FEMALE
Well some of your questions really weird me out, so I guess we're even. Lol
Why do men always have to make an impression? What do women do? Show up? It takes more than that.
You don't have to make an impression if you don't want the date to go anywhere. I'm just saying it helps you get remembered and breeds respect
See its not that I have a problem paying for the first date but I hate the entitlement that comes along with it and I'm gonna be honest, a lot of women demand it and it throws men off. Sometimes you women make dating completely one sided where the guy has to deal all of his cards before the women deals her. Call it traditional or being a gentleman or courting or whatever you want. To me it's just one person putting in most of the effort (the guy).
Exactly that.
@SpecialAgentStone "Sometimes you women make dating completely one sided where the guy has to deal all of his cards before the women deals her. Call it traditional or being a gentleman or courting or whatever you want. To me it's just one person putting in most of the effort (the guy)." CAN I GET A 'HELL YEAH'?
That's exactly how I weed out guys who won't be good for me. If a guy isn't willing to put effort into me, then I'm not willing to put effort into him. If he puts all of his effort into me, then I'll put all of mine into him
I understand that. But what I'm saying is that the guy and the girl should put in effort at the same time. Not the guy putting in all his effort than once you decide he's done enough you put in your effort. That's what I mean by women being one sided.
Your view is something I'd agree with for most people. But I'm not most people
I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm happy with my life on my own, so a guy would have to be able to impress me and convince me he'd be able to improve it if he wanted me to be a part of his. I would rather be alone forever than with the wrong guy
I also have plenty of options. If I suddenly changed my mind, let go of my standards, and wanted to go out with some random guy, I'd be able to do that. I understand that that's a privilege I have because I'm beautiful. But I don't abuse that privilege. I tell guys when I'm not interested in them because I don't want to use them or lead them on thinking they're going to get something they don't have a chance at.
If you don't want to try to impress me, then I'm not asking you to. You don't have to ask me out
Honestly you sound pretty conceited. Since when is dating about "impressing" someone? I thought it's about finding someone you're compatible with. You make it seem like some sort of talent show. If you want to think that way then that's fine. I can't, I grew to believe that even in dating it should be equal and fair. I don't see anything about that in any of your comments but as I said if you want to be like that then that's fine.
I don't think anything in life is fair or equal, especially not men or women. You were raised well, but just in a way that isn't romantically compatible with me. There's nothing wrong with that.
I'm not conceited. Everyone here seems to think I am, but that's their incorrect view of me. Most people anywhere take me the wrong way. I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me
Synonymizing my view of dating with a talent show has it's merrit. I won't deny that. But it would be a talent show for one person who truly appreciates the effort, not a crowd of judgmental children
I'm not trying to smack talk or anything but I just don't get this mentality that a lot of women have. Were you hurt or something in the past? Why do you wait for the guy to put effort before you do? It just doesn't make sense to me. I feel like it should be reciprocated simultaneously unless you're just not interested in him.
Yes. My parents showed and told me everyday that they hated me. I've been much better off without them
I don't put effort inot other people in general. I do what I want to make myself happy because I know nobody is going to be able to do that for me and I'm the only one who's ever had my own back
I don't crave romance or contact with humans although I understand the psychology behind why it helps fight depression, so I engage in my minimum requirement for social interaction
If someone wants to be a part of my life, they have to prove to me how they can improve it. If I think they're either trying to take advantage of me or will cause me additional stress, then I'm better off without them
So you have trust issues? It sounds like your upbringing caused you to be naturally distrustful of people. So you act the way you do to avoid getting hurt again. At least that's what it seems.
Yes I understand that about myself and view it as being positive. I would rather protect myself than allow people to take advantage of and hurt me
One thing I'd require of a romantic partner is that he'd want to protect me from everybody and everything around me, including myself if he thought I was endangering or going to hurt myself. In return, I'd be everything for him that he wanted to protect. I'd live up to his standards of me as well and I'd care for him in the best way I knew how and would satisfy any of his desires I am capable of
Anybody can be taken advantage of and hurt but we still gotta put ourselves out there when we have to. And what if he fails to protect you? What if some big muscle scary dude beats him down or something?
That's something I've been working on. I'm now in a place where I could emotionally consider dating. I just have standards that I'm not willing to compromise on and it would take someone exceptional to get me to commit and break down my walls
He's human, right? Humans fail at things all the time, even the things they want to succeed at most. As long as he put in the effort and tried to protect me, I'd still love him. I'd appreciate him even more for defending me in a fight he'd know he'd lose. That right there is what a real man does for the people he loves and cares most about
Sometimes life throws you curveballs that you can't avoid. It's not about the things that happen to you--it's about how you pick yourself back up, learn from it, and move on
I can understand. But if the guy is lacking a few minor things then it's no big deal right? I mean everyone has flaws. I just had to ask about that protection part since a lot of women are shallow about it.
There are particular "flaws" I'm looking for in a man. I've met a few people over the years who share these traits, but nothing relationshipwise became of it.
I'd need someone who could understand me on a fundamental level, so this man would have also have had to endure many of the things I did as a child. Someone who comes from that side of the world develops certain affections that the majority of society consider to be flaws
Real love is loving someone for their flaws, not despite them. I'm not perfect myself, so I wouldn't want to be with someone who wants perfect in every way. I'd just need someone who is perfect in every way for me. Clearly I have different standards, expectations, and views than most of society if you look at all the responses I've received
If you expect men to "man up" and pay out on the first date, then it's only fair to expect women to "woman up" and PUT OUT on the first date!
Your article is SUPER ENTITLED. Thank god men have more options besides entitled girls like you, these days.
I'm a virgin, so sex is off the table. You're entitled to your opinion, but tha variance in opinions is why we're not compatible
I'm not entitled. And guys I'm not compatible with should go for other options, especially girls who don't value themselves
A real man values a woman who values herself and has standards. A woman's lack of self-worth and standards is what causes men to devalue her
That;s crossing the line there now.
A real woman values a man who values himself and has standards. A man's lack of self-worth and standards is what allows women to use him for his money.
A relationship is a PARTNERSHIP, not an entitlement program. Neither side should expect compensation for spending time with their partner. Do you how fucking absurd that sounds?
I agree woman should respect their men and a man should have equal standards for their women
A relationship is a partnership and one person putting more effort into the other is not a relationship
I'm not entitled and I'd never take advantage of a respectable man I could love. I'd put just as much effort into him as he puts into me. But I'm not going to enter a relationship with someone who wouldn't be happy putting effort into me or wouldn't do it at all. A relationship is when both parties love each other and are willing to satisfy the other party's needs and desires
Traditional... always.
Post modern? Whomever did the inviting sets the itinerary and pays the bill on the first.