Why He's Not Getting a Second Date

Anonymous

I'd like to share with you guys an example of what NOT to do when going on a date with a girl.

Why He's Not Getting a Second Date

I went on a date with a guy on Wednesday. We met up close to 7 at a hole-in-the-wall bar and coffee shop. Very cozy place. I had already eaten but felt like I needed to order something or the waitress would be staring me down from 10 feet away the whole time. He had already ordered a beer by the time I got there. He greeted me warmly but....even that seemed forced.

Not being accommodating

While I was deciding what to order, I pointed out the least expensive thing on the menu --nachos. I suggested that we share it. He briskly stated that he was not hungry. Strike one.

So I just ordered a hot chocolate.

We talked, but the conversation seemed forced versus flowing. He kept running his hand through his hair like he thought he was some kind of male model or a Justin Bieber wannabe. I kinda got the, I'm a tool vibe.

Not paying for your date

When it was time to go, I approached the bar. The waitress confirmed with my guy that he had already paid. WTF? So I paid for mine separately. Major strike 2. Mind you, he was the one who had asked me on the date.

Making it awkward

During the date, we talked about TV shows, and I told him I had just started watching Black Mirror and that I thought it was good. He agreed and offered to watch it with me after we left the bar. I accepted his offer so he followed me to my place.

I've had numerous friends come hang out and finding it has never been an issue. Well, he got lost trying to find my apartment and for some reason, my directions didn't make sense to him. Wow dude.

We watched one episode due to time constraints. I told him I needed to go to bed soon since I had work the next morning.

When it was time to leave, we were both standing at the door and he asked me if I were nervous. I said that, yes, I was. He asked why, and I replied that I just wasn't used to him yet. He seemed satisfied with that answer but he then asked if he could kiss me. Strike 3. Like majorly.

Ummmm...?

Seriously guys, the best thing you can do to kill the mood and make it awkward is to actually ASK the girl if you can kiss her. If she's not putting her face close to you, she doesn't want to be kissed. Pretty simple.

Then he asked why I was nervous. Again. He seemed pretty bothered.

Needless to say, I was happy to have him out the door and on his way.

Why He's Not Getting a Second Date
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    I think you were both awkward.
    To be honest, I don't know anyone who goes on a date, arrives earlier, orders a beer and pays for it at the spot. Obviously he didn't have any intention of staying longer and much less share expenses or cover yours. That's not a date, that's meeting a friend at the bar.

    Then after a short (?) awkward conversation at this place, you actually invite the guy you just met to your apartment. I guess the standards aren't really that high then.
    The guy only asked if he could kiss you because you stated you were not used to him. YET, lol.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • roman_ce
    You did the right thing. Once you learned that the guy had already paid for his own, I would have left him right there. Guys should always pay, that's the 101 of dating.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Thank you!

    • roman_ce

      You're welcome. And don't listen to the bitter guys here, you're right about what you said.

      Personally I'd prefer a girl who expects me to always pay over a girl who insists on splitting. It's just so unromantic to split the bill on a date.

    • Anonymous

      Exactly. I offer to pay for myself, sure, when I'm certain that I'm not interested in him romantically.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1955
  • Anonymous
    interesting to read
  • Anonymous
    Cats in your future.
  • Anonymous
    1) Not being ACCOMMODATING? You've not gone for a dinner date and YOU'RE the one who wants to eat. Maybe he genuinely isn't hungry, maybe he ate beforehand. He's under no obligation to have to eat just because you decree it is time.
    2) Because gender equality only means equality when it suits the woman and if the man wants equality in the relationship then that's somehow a deal breaker. Combined with the first point, It sounds like you just want to use him for a free meal.
    3) So you automatically assume he's as fault for taking time to find your place, it sounds like you don't WANT to give him a chance. You're leading him on by inviting him back to your place and then throwing him out less than an hour later, so he kept asking if you were nervous because he thought he'd done something wrong and that's why you were trying to get him to leave. As for asking before kissing you, maybe that has something to do with the snowflakes we seem to see everyday in the news complaining about being touched or spoken to in a bar without permission. Don't get me wrong, sexual assault is one of the worst crimes, but with feminists trying to extend the definition to anyone who even speaks to a woman without permission, I refer you back to point 2, you can't have it both ways and I think it's a natural consequence of feminism's villification of men that you are going to see even more men asking for permission to kiss you, or even hold your hand, for fear of being branded a rapist otherwise.
  • Anonymous
    I do that, too, you know? I don't pay for a woman I just met. Not even if I like her. It's a perfect way to screen out the gold diggers, narcissists, psychopaths and special snowflakes.

    My relationships have gotten SO much better since I did this because women like you are no longer part of my life.
  • Anonymous
    Sounds like his pay screen was successful.
  • Anonymous
    More often than not, if things don't go past the first date, most of the time its because the girl loses interest instead of the guy losing interest
  • Anonymous
    Oh boy, you sound like a text-book narcissist. And like most narcissists you're unable to understand that you are one.

    I feel for the guy/cats that you'll end up with.
    • empathy=zero. not only everything she said revolved around herself. she didn't even fathom he could have a cush on her and be nervous around her or something... .

  • Anonymous
    Sounds like you make people walk on eggshells

    Only thing I agree with is the kissing part. I don't know why anyone would ask
  • Anonymous
    Lol yes. I bet you rationalize why you not being in a relationship is because of the guys and not because of you.

    Better get used to cats.
  • Anonymous
    Lol you ain't special.
  • Anonymous
    You make it sound like he's missing out by not having another date with you.
  • Anonymous
    You sound like a high-maintenance narcissist. If he doesn't do what you want, he gets a "strike" lol... the arrogance in that statement.
  • Anonymous
    Wow, you sound like a real peach. I would not give someone like you a second date if you paid me.
    • Robin48

      I would not ask her out at all. She very immature.

    • Anonymous

      @Robin48

      Yep. Immature, self-absorbed and entitled. All the worst of what modern women have to "offer" men.

    • Robin48

      Amen

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  • Anonymous
    You're making the mistake of assuming that he wanted a second date with you in the first place.
    • Robin48

      I agree, he knew on the date that he screw up in asking her out. I know he was glad wen it was over.

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