How to Spot a Bold and Strong Woman

[Anonymous]

Why this take and topic?

I am 28 year old woman who got back to the dating scene after a long time about 3 years. I have dated people whom I met through friends and social circle, as well I used online dating apps to meet others that I may not even encounter in my daily life.

Mind me saying that I am a strong woman with a good job, good career, good education, lots of hobbies, traveling, good friends, and a good and supportive family. Due to me being basically an ambitious outgoing nerd in my school career, I was often told that I am an intimidating woman to the guys. So I never really got approached by guys, but rather I made my own luck as Germans say "jeder ist seines Glueckes Schmied" (One is responsible for his own luck) and approached my ex boyfriends. I had two long relationships (over 1 year) and two mid-length relationship (less than 1 year, more than 6 months).

After dating almost 20 guys with at least 3 dates since November, with the hope of finding a good guy to spend time and life with (at this age I can only think of possible long-lasting relationships not plays, mind games, or FWB), I noticed that most men are very intimidated by strong, bold women who know what they want, and most men again treat these women like they're either easy lays, or pushy and bossy bitches; while again these most men label "the weaklings or the ones who bring nothing to the table" as gold-diggers.

So I am writing this take for these men, who want a strong women, but cannot really spot them or miss their chances with these strong men due to getting intimidated, biased and having all other kinds of negative thoughts when they encounter with them. If you think a woman has the following qualities or majority of the following qualities in the first couple dates, it means she is a strong one, and you can spot them with these traits.

1. Strong women are smart mouths.

Strong women are not afraid to talk about or share their opinions anything and everything that they have information on. They're opinionated on things that they can very well defend their arguments against a man's thought. Occasionally they may use foul languages. This often comes across as being bitchy, bossy, and not lady-like; however, defending their ideas does not mean that they don't accept the truth in your word if they are presented with well-supported arguments. They always give you credit and change their opinions when theirs is proved to be wrong, or do more research to understand your side for the next time when the argument may come up again.

2. Strong women are not scared to speak what they think.

Strong women are not scared to tell you what they think. If they don't like something or if something is not up to their standards, they will be direct and tell you. This comes across as being tactless most of the time or manly, as most men say. On the other hand, some female friends often will think of their strong peers to be harsh, and they encourage them to play stupid and not make statements if it's going to hurt the men.

3. Strong women are not afraid of making moves, initiating, and taking leads.

Strong women will not be scared to start a conversation on dating apps, a conversation which is more than just "hey". They easily start conversation, and even ask you out if they like you on a first date because they use these apps for more than just approved ego boost, or male attention as they don't need any of those. They are also not scared to send a follow-up message after a date if the promises of a second date is made before the end of first date. They are not scared to make plans, and initiate dates, neither are they scared to take a man out multiple times and lead the relationship. This often comes across "Really dying to get the D", in other words, "Easy lay easy chick" while actually strong women do not need to be challenging with their sexuality but rather they're open about it and yet not stupid not to be able to weed out guys who disrespect them by this "easy lay" attitude.

4. Strong women expect you to be upfront with her.

Strong women expect you to be upfront with her. They don't like to waste their time, and they like strong men who know what they want. So at the end of a date, strong women expect a sign of seeing each other again with a warm hug if the men think that they have a chance. They also do not like to wait for 3 days to get a text about how much fun a man had with them on a first date., neither do they like if the guy is unsure about casual sex, or actual dating. Also, they want the guy to text immediately unless an important busy life is going on rather than playing the "waiting to text game".

5. Strong women are brutally honest.

Strong women will be brutally honest. If they don't like something, they will bring it up no matter how uncomfortable you are talking about whatever they don't like. They are solution-producer not problem-creators and they focus on problem solving by stating their dislike, and staying true to themselves rather.

6. Strong women are not scared to show they care.

Strong women are not scared to talk about their feelings or show that they care. If they care about you, and if they think you have a great potential with them, they won't play games of waiting for the exclusivity talk, or the statement of interest or like or appreciation. Equally, if they don't think you have chance with them, they don't waste your time. They're upfront about what's wrong in a potential relationship. They don't feel desperate to have a man in their life to feel good and complete until a better one comes off, so they will rather state their negative feelings and hurt you in the beginning to not create a love illusion and hurt you even more in the future.

7. Strong women are busy but create time for you.

Strong women will be busy and will have limited time because they have their own hobbies, own me-time, friends and family to take care, as well as their jobs. If they suggest another day to you, it means they're genuinely busy but would like to have time for you even if it's just for an hour lunch break or dinner. They don't play the postponing game. If they don't want you, they will outright reject your call, not try to reschedule.

8. Strong women will challenge you.

Strong women want strong and determined men in their lives. If there is a project or goal you mention that you wanna accomplish, she'll push you and your boundaries, and she'll challenge you by looking at the project or talking about the project from different angles. This often comes across as showing-off her knowledge or trying to show her man that she is better. But all a strong woman wanna do is to push for better and support her man.

9. Strong women expect to give and get creative dates.

Strong women love cliche romance things like simple flowers and chocolate boxes and all those vanilla dates. However, they like to give creative and equally get creative dates whether it be a short hike in wilderness, or just taking dogs out together, the ballet and opera coming to town, or simply sit at home and play scrabbles or learn simple origami models together

10. Strong women are not scared to talk about what they want in bed.

If something is wrong or unsatisfying in bed, strong women will not be scared to ask the reason and tell you directly what they like, want or wanna try. This often comes off as "stressful" for the guy as most guys are often hurt when their performance or sexual abilities are questioned. However, all strong women want is to be open-minded, and talkative to make things better.

11. Strong women don't mind paying for the whole bill.

Yes, we all know chivalry is necessary from time to time. Guys taking control is nice, or opening doors, or treating her like a princess. But one thing is for sure that a strong woman won't use the old bathroom trick when you ask for the check in a restaurant. Strong women will be totally fine if you ask to split the bill. But before even needing to ask, mostly they will offer you any way.

12. Strong women do not need to use sex as leverage.

Strong women do know what they bring to table, and how great a girlfriend and life partner they can be. That's why they do not use sex as a leverage to keep a guy around. They're open about their sexuality, and they don't care whether they have sex on first or third or sixth date if they like you, and if you prove that you're the guy to her.

13. Strong women will want you, not need you for her handy fixing issues.

Strong women will tell you that they want you for who you are, not for how you can help her fixing her door, or bathroom tiles, or toilet flush, or car. They don't tell you that they need you as often they're self-sufficient. They will want you to have fun life together. So don't be surprised if they don't call you to open the can or grab the pot from the upper shelf.

14. Strong women won't throw in the towel in the first obstacle.

Strong women, as I said earlier, are problem solvers. They're strong-willed and if there is a problem in the relationship, they will put their all effort into overcoming that problem or obstacle. They won't simply give up if they think you're worthy of their effort. This strong will to solve a problem specifically in the beginning of a relationship often comes across as "being pushy and desperate for a relationship", unfortunately.

15. Strong women don't need to nag you to text or call.

Strong women know the value of privacy. They don't need to get updated about where you are, with whom you are, how you are, what you are doing at the moment etc. They don't need constant daily calls or minutely texts as they are also busy with their own private life.

Conclusion

I believe if you find a woman who is passionate about you, who has her own life and shit together, who is not clingy or needy, who actually wants you for who you are not for what you can do or how much you earn, who are honest about what they want and not afraid to talk about what she thinks, and who are not afraid to show their own feelings that they care about you, just get a hold off of that woman and not leave her by getting intimidated because they make great girlfriends.

Remember just because we are strong and proud of showing that we are strong and we know what we want and we show that we care and we don't play games does not mean we "WANT THE D" as soon and deep as possible because we are easy lays.

Thanks for reading for myTake. Any comment, suggestion, improvement, or opposition with well-supported arguments are appreciated in the comments.

[Maik567]

I feel it's a little bit ridiculous that you are trying to label this particular personality type as "being strong", there are plenty of strong women who don't check even half of the things on this list.

You just described a woman who is sassy, tactless, sometimes domineering, etc. And on top of that she is confident. A woman can be strong without being a smart ass or inconsiderate. She can have a submissive personality and still be strong. And she can indeed need her man to do the handy fixing issues, or cooking, cleaning or whatever their respective skills are that the other person is strong at and the other person lacks.

This whole idea of what a "strong/real man/woman is" has always rubbed me the wrong way cause the truth is that people are different. We have different personalities and interests and not everyone is going to be compatible. And I feel like there are plenty of people who make excuses for their own faults (Being tactless or just straight up rude for example) by saying shit like "Im just a strong man/woman. Not my fault other people can't handle me"

But not to be all negative you did list a lot of very positive qualities that any confident and self respecting person should have, I just feel like you were trying a little bit too hard to try to push this specific personality type as being strong. When that's not necessarily the case. I've met a lot of girls who exhibited many of these straights but had pretty severe insecurity issues under their huge egos.

[Anonymous]

I somehow didn't like the tone of it. It is as if the women who do not possess these qualities are less strong women.
I would say that, you can be submissive yet strong and independent. Surprised? Well that's how women I see around me are.
For example, my mom. My Dad works late most of the times so she looks after both cooking, cleaning+ handy jobs like fixing broken bulb n such in the house in absence of my dad.
She isn't dependent on Dad for many things. Yet, she lets Dad take major decisions in the house and takes lower hand in their arguments at times.

It is NOT because she is weak. It is because she understands the importance of taking a lower hand at times for sake of the situation and that she isn't less of a "strong woman" if she does so.
She lets take my dad last word in major decisions because she understands that both of the partners trying to dominate doesn't work so well. Someone has to take other charge at times.
Despite of all that, she is professionally successful too.
So yes a strong woman according to me isn't unnecessarily rigid on her ideas but is capable of prioritizing their relationship over these things

[Crapulux]

This was such an entertaining read! We face similar problems, so I feel I might be of help.

> I am a strong woman with a good job, good career, good education, lots of hobbies, traveling, good friends, and a good and supportive family. Due to me being basically an ambitious outgoing nerd in my school career, I was often told that I am an intimidating woman to the guys.

Let us review this data. We will work on the premise that a woman cannot love a man she does not respect (I guess this does not need formal proof). Thus, since you perceive yourself as smart, you will reject a man whom you perceive as less smart than you, and really, it makes sense.

Now... if your IQ is around 140, then 99% of men are dumber compared to you. This kinda shrinks your dating pool a bit... but let's not be overly pessimistic yet, as smart people tend to stay single and fail at relationships (I read some study about that yesterday, was quite enlightning)... so the amount of singles in your target demographics is likely to be higher than average.

Now, who are we talking about exactly? Let's try to split your target into segments.

1) The nerdy ones, the shy ones... In other words, the normal, average guys. Smart, usually good careers... Low social skills. No game. These will definitely be intimidated by the woman you describe. Unable to handle her. You already rejected lots of these.

2) The very successful ones. These could tick your boxes. Unfortunately, being handsome, rich, smart, literate, and smooth talkers, they can pick almost any woman they want. You have intense competition, and you are going to lose.

3) The others... the wild bunch...

Maybe the player who saved up for two months to buy a nice suit, read "The game" and "Bang" by Saint Roosh, all in order to pump you and dump you the next day? And you most likely fell for it...

Or maybe myself, why not? I don't really fit in any box. I have the nicest job in the world: sipping a beer under the sun in my garden, and once a month, cash in the checks from my tenants. Took lots of work to get there, but reaping the benefits is pretty nice. Basically, I do whatever hobbies I want, from writing a pornographic novella, to designing electronics, cycling, etc.

[Crapulux]

(cont'd)

Now, since I kicked out the lazy-ass woman who thought she'd be my wife, I've decided to apply a more scientific approach to dating. After all, this is what engineers do: solve problems. I am following online psychology classes, gathering information, studying both pick-up artists and feminists, etcetera. So far, it has proven not only enlightening, but... just downright FUN. Almost to the point of making me regret not going into psych back in university.

Now, let's get back to your case, shall we? Your rant provides an interesting data point for me to learn from, and I thank you for that. I will now explain what I learned from it.

But first, let us contrast our viewpoints.

My own reasoning is simple: the way I approached dating was wrong, since it didn't yield expected results. Therefore, I must learn from my mistakes and evolve.

[Crapulux]

You, on the other hand, respond by writing a wall of ravenous rant, which consists entirely of repeating how you're the best gal any man would want, and how wrong they were in rejecting you. Blame, blame, blame! Blame everyone but you.

Clearly, you must educate men so they may learn to appreciate your Majesty.

You write this:

"[Strong wmart women] always give you credit and change their opinions when theirs is proved to be wrong, or do more research to understand your side for the next time when the argument may come up again."

... and proceed to contradict it with every other word you write. Yeah, words are slippery little bastards, I guess. I knew everything you were going to say after reading the first paraghaph. I still read the rest for lulz, and wasn't disappointed in the least.

My favorite point of all was point 15: "Strong women don't need to nag you." Which comes after a wall of nagging rant. I actually laughed out loud from this one, thank you for that.

[Crapulux]

Now, am I intimidated by a "Strong woman"?

Not in the least. From the tone of my message, you should guess by now that the only feelings you elicit are amusement, with a tinge of pity.

I would be very, very curious to meet you in person. You must be a fascinating specimen. Unfortunately, women without any sense of humility (wink, wink) tend to suck at sex, so I will not volunteer.

https://i.imgur.com/2VsYHGb.jpg

[myTake Owner]

Thanks for writing your own perspective so that i can look at this at a different angle.

Remember that I didn't say I am the best girl a man can find. I have some of these traits and I have seen some in the woman i consider to be strong. However, you seem pretty hardworking in ranting with all these comments bashing on me individually.

[Crapulux]

I find writing helps organizing my thoughts. This is why I wrote this, and it did turn out a bit long, sorry about that... Now, I replied to your post, which I assumed was about your own case, so I did use the word "you". I see that you interpret this as "comments bashing on me individually"... well, nope.

Granted, the world sucks, but attempting to fix everyone else has a much lower chance of success than attempting to adapt yourself. This is why I am quite puzzled by some of the answers below, which basically say "Keep doing what doesn't work!"

So, considering your current behavior and standards yield no interesting dates, what changes do you plan to implement in order to solve that problem?

[myTake Owner]

It yields dates, and lots of them. And in fact I dated about 20 guys within 4 months, and 10 of them guys wanted to see me at least 4 times, however, I was upfront and told them that i was not interested after genuinely putting interest in them.

I dated one of them for two months but he got a job in Canada and moved there (triple paid than what he got at the time.) So we wished each other good luck and part ways.

Another one became a good friend of mine after we noticed we don't really have common things to have fun together. For example, he likes to sit in all day on Sunday watch football while I find it is a waste of time and when I directly told him that discovering outside or going to activities like ballet, opera on Sundays is much better than sitting and watching 4 hours football as I am not interested even though I tried to understand him by sitting in and watching football with him twice.

[myTake Owner]

This take is written for the last guy I dated. After 4 months I made it clear to him that the other guys I dated were not suitable and he is the best potential partner, and I really like him and I like to focus on him and be exclusive with him. I also told him multiple things about his performance because he had "limp dick issue" (he is the only guy i slept with out of the mentioned three as I am monogamous). and I tried to be as gentle as possible without questioning his performance to understand what he wants in bed, if he has problems at work or in his family life etc. However, he was basically running away and in the end, i came to conclusion from his behavior and statements that he just thought i was looking for getting laid because i am so outspoken, and self-sufficient, not really texting him more than twice a week except when we make plans. That's why this take is written.

[Crapulux]

Hmmm...

I'm plotting a story with a heroine who is a "strong, independent woman" who is unable to get a stable relationship with a boyfriend. So, you provide insight into a real character, and that is very interesting to me. If I can help you understand what the problem is, then I also gain something from it.

Did you just post "My 14 Impulsive Behavior That Ruined A Relationship" ?

[myTake Owner]

I dont know that post. I have had stable long relationships before 2-3 years.

[frozenhorizon]

Dude you sound intimidated yourself.

[Crapulux]

@frozenhorizon Nope.

"Strong, independent woman" is kind of a trap, because they come in two varieties.

The first one is just what it says on the label, and they're perfectly fine.

The other kind is an insecure woman with inflated ego and eagerness to prove herself, and she's a lot less smart than she thinks she is. This one will most likely apply her intellectual "talents" to make your life hell.

Ironic thing is, those two are hard to tell from one another under normal every day circumstances. The difference only comes out when under pressure.

Most guys wouldn't bother to investigate and would seek a less challenging relationship, I guess.

[frozenhorizon]

If you aren't intimidated u sound like a poser then

[myTake Owner]

@frozenhorizon I think he either missed a chance with a strong woman and ended up with a weakling gold digger or something like that, OR, he is confused with a sassy tactless woman vs strong feminine woman.

To OOP: I think you need to get off of your high horses pretending that weak equals feminine strong equals manly or strong means insecure, especially given that you're from a western country.

[Oram52]

"as smart people tend to stay single and fail at relationships (I read some study about that yesterday, was quite enlightning)"

Hey can you list that article/study please, I'd definitely like to read it. thanks.

[Anonymous]

"Strong" women don't want to submit but at the same time, don't want a man to submit to them either. Two dominant personalities do not work with one another and men know this. If you consider yourself an "alpha" type of personality and you're looking for another guy with the same personality, there's going to be a lot of clashing and that's particularly why so many of these strong women have so many failed relationships. Submitting to somebody, whether you're a male submitting to a female or vice versa, doesn't necessarily make you weak, and somebody WILL have to submit in the relationship.

You create a sort of power struggle where I have no idea when I'm supposed to let her lead and when I'm supposed to challenge her. I have no time for trying to figure out the mind game of what she is expecting me to do and then criticizing me for it when I don't do the right thing, since as you said, she has no issue with speaking her mind.

Quite frankly, I'm tired of dealing with "strong" women who expect me to allow her to make all of the decisions outside of the bedroom and then when it comes time for sex, she still wants me to cater to her desires and fantasies. She only wants to take a break from being the boss whenever sex is involved, so yet even still, she has some sort of control over me by having me play the role she wants me to in the bedroom. It doesn't work like that. I don't always want to be sexually dominant either.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

A lot of these points can basically be summed up with "good at and open to communication" and "doesn't expect you to read minds." Sounds pretty god damn refreshing... on it's own.

A lot of girls have this idea that "good with and open to communication" and "doesn't expect you to read minds" is synonymous with "talks to you like you're a moron and that you need to be trained like a child."

If I had to choose between a girl who's really shy with communication and a girl who thinks I'm a retarded puppy, guess which one I'm going with.

[myTake Owner]

Not really synonymous with what you said. I am sorry if some others made being open sound like that to you. Shy with communication at first vs. playing games and mind fucks to be the girlfriend are not the same as well.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Oh I know. I just haven't been lucky in finding one who sits in that Goldilocks area. I'm sure I will soon now that I'm in college.

[myTake Owner]

by the way, I never treat a person like they're retarded puppies or something. That's rude and pretty harsh honestly and a strong person whether women or men don't need to act like assholes to show their strength. I believe the girls with the attitude you mentioned are often perceived as strong but in fact they're insecure.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

That's what I thought too at first. But after a year or so using this site, I'm not entirely sure.

[myTake Owner]

Well remember that this website is not necessarily representing the whole population in a certain country as there are many different people from many different countries. I can only talk for myself and the women I know and consider to be strong around me.

[Freija1989]

In the first aspects, if a woman is so self sufficient and independent and strong, what need would she have for a man if she ' s so uber. If you ' re good at everything why are you looking for a man exactly? For a pet, to have something to cuddle with while going to sleep? A teddy bear would suffice. Men like to be needed, the more you rely on them and show them you need them and appreciate their support the more they like you, unless they are omega losers, and I see gold digging young guys dating way older and rich women as absolutely pathetic. Men should be the providers, the ones concerned with bearing the brunt and absorbing the more brutal aspects.

[myTake Owner]

I dont think you should need a man or woman in life, you should want them for companionship, not for making them do what you can't do. And I dont believe in your opinion of men being the provider. that puts a lot of pressure on men's shoulder. Men have equal rights to be stay at home dads and not all men like to be needed for handy jobs. Men like to be desired. I rather make someone feel that I desire and admire them for who they're rather than for what they earn for how they can fix my car.

[Freija1989]

I understand what you say, but aren ' t quality men able to shoulder that weight well? I mean, in this metaphor, I can ' t lift a high weight but I also don ' t envy someone who can. And if that someone helps me lifting something that would otherwise be too hard or impossible for me to lift I can only feel gratitude and admiration to that person. Now, if that person is a man I can ' t help but be attracted too. And that doesn ' t mean I ' m useless, I ' m contributing with what I can and do my best. For example in the business my fiance and me had with wood, I would drive a vehicle pulling a very heavy trailer on inclined and really slippery winter hill roads, something that not many people can master unless they are professional drivers ( and I am not ) and have really good tires ( and we were really stiff on tires ). He couldn ' t do that, so I was completing him, and he was completing me in cutting all that wood and finding buyers. Also, men were historically the providers in a clan

[Freija1989]

Also, the second aspect, for a girl I ' m pretty tall like 6 ' 1 or something and pretty butch so I naturally enjoy being with someone who makes me feel small and delicate. I know, it may sound cliche, but I ' m more old fashion. How can I feel like that with someone that is less then me? Also, in a relationship I am naturally submissive, but I need the man to be stronger willed than me and somehow my better, and also willing to take the lead to activate that submission, and a high quality man, let ' s say an alpha would welcome that. Otherwise I ' d feel that power vacuum, but not feel content. Maybe that ' s just me and my personal tastes though, maybe what pleases me doesn ' t work for every body.

[Bparker]

@freija1989 woah woah woah, there is your problem your saying people are smaller and inferior and thats not cool dude... America is survival of the fittest but show your stronger without saying or putting people down... And you think a short man couldnt handle you... Girl you don't understand men... I don't how tall you are if you can show your better than me at everything then I've already got the 1up on you cuz I will not let you ever see I'm inferior than you. And I'm 5'9"

[Freija1989]

@Bparker I didn ' t mean short men are inferior. When I used the words " less than me " I was referring to someone that doesn ' t do anything better than me, or one that is even worse than me at things I already sucked at. For example I ' m not that social and sometimes I get nervous in large crowds. Now if a man would be even less secure than me in large crowds it would be a turn off. I don ' t feel shy to bring new ideas on the table though, in a community or in the relationship. If a guy would be less bold and always go with the flow it would bother me. I stand up when I ' m harassed or cat called, I usually straighten my back to look bigger, look the asshole in the eye and reply to them " want something bitch ". Now if I ' d be with a guy ( and fortunately my fiance is really tough ) that would just hunch his back and walk faster while looking down instead of standing up for me too it would be a huge turn off. Where would the polarity be? That ' s what I meant by " less than me ".

[Bparker]

Well look all I meant is that no man wants to look inferior to a women hurts his ego and pride really bad. And not everyone is perfect but I'm sure you know

[sedrftvgyhujik]

How is being incapable and just expecting us to deal with all your problems suppose to be appealing to a guy?
and how is a guy anymore a loser for dating a richer older woman than the other way around.

[Bparker]

@sedrftvgyhujik bro don't bother fighting feminism makes her think its a right to be treated like that so dont bother.

[myTake Owner]

@Bparker r u guys talking to me or opinion owner? I dont get it.

[Bparker]

Look treat people like you want to be treated obviously the owner wants an independent man Or someone to make her feel "inferior". But then all of this seems to be contradictory aren't women fighting for the right to not be inferior to in relationships? Aren't women trying to put out laws and things like that to have more control over men so they are viewed as stronger and more powerful. Men have pride that can never be beaten. So no matter how much America gives women all these "rights" men will still show that women are not stronger and will do it with less.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

Personally I was talking to the opinion owner and answering from the opinion not the comments in response to her saying men need to be the providers and guys dating wealthy older women are losers and saying where only valuable to women because where good at things.
I can't speak for @Bparker though?

[Bparker]

@sedrftvgyhujik I'm talk about the same thing

[Freija1989]

@Bparker Guys, don ' t misinterpret what I said. I ' m not a feminist, in fact I ' m very conservative and I think out of all bad thing 3 rd wave feminists done creating mgtow, the monster mirror of their own wrongness was the worst. If people would have adopted a more traditional conservatory life style this would not have happened, also the flood of muslim immigrants and other things like that, single mothers etc. And that ' s what I ' m trying to do. Advocate for something more traditional and giving men that power back so they can be proud again. I don ' t care for authority given to me if it comes in pack with " the weight of the crown ". In other words it ' s better to be a princess than a queen. Let men be kings. You benefit from the same luxury and don ' t have to worry so much with things that are to stressful for a woman, or maybe I should just speak for myself, to stressful for me. Why did you interpret the other way around?

[Freija1989]

@sedrftvgyhujik I ' m not incapable of doing anything. I ' m good at certain things, great at other things, in some things I ' m mediocre and I absolutely suck at certain things. Now those things in which I ' m mediocre or those at which I suck at, those are valuable to me because I can ' t achieve them on my own, so I can ' t help but look up at someone helping me out with them. And as I said, I contribute with things I ' m good at myself. Besides the guy gets to hear what a big macho he is and how grateful I am for helping little me, so, there you go ego boost. You know, being offered a hand can ' t cause anything but a good reaction. What ' s my problem with young guys dating older rich women? Not bimbos humping old men though. Well, it ' s expected of a kitten to be a pet, but not of a lion. Can lions be exotic pets of rich people? Sure. They just don ' t inspire the same ferocity a wild lion would. He ' s just a big cat. Where ' s the pride in that? Lion pride

[Anonymous]

Most of the things you listed are just things normal people do, or should do, but a few of them sound like you trying to excuse annoying behavior as "being strong" (1, 2 and 5). People, not just women, who have no filter and just speak whatever thoughts pop into their heads, regardless of the feelings of others, are just not nice people.

But here's my main thought on your take. In my experience, a woman who feels the need to tell others she is a "strong woman" is not strong at all. She is insecure, and usually is using being a "strong woman" who "intimidates men" as an excuse for why she does poorly with men. Men are not intimidated by women who say they are "strong women"... they just find their personalities unattractive.

There's a dose of "brutal honesty" for you.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks. I agree with filtering. I didn't mean strinng women say anything they want without considering. There are delicate ways to say brutal things. However, they won't shy away from what they think when it comes to a problem that is not pleasant to talk about just to avoid conflict. Unfortunately i have seen this from several of my girlfriends for the sake f having a boyfriend.

I would like to tell you that I never did poorly with men. However, i notice this recently when i get back into dating. These are. Ot excuses of why i am doing poorly etc.

[Opinion Owner]

The biggest issue here, really, is that dominant people do not do well in romantic relationships with other dominant people. Women, in general, find dominant personality traits very attractive in men. Those traits are masculine in nature. I know I'll get some grief for saying that but it's a fact of human nature that has resulted from thousands of years of human evolution, and it will only change as a result of more evolution because it is genetic, and that's how genetics work.

The flip side of that coin is that normal, masculine (aka dominant) men are not attracted to masculine trains in women. It's not a matter of being intimidated... it's simply attraction, that's all. There's nothing we can say or do to change that. Listing the perceived benefits of dating a "strong woman" will not change it. It may change over time (thousands of years), but the best thing we can do here and now is to be honest and realistic about it.

[Opinion Owner]

The good news is that there are men who are attracted to dominant women. They are the more submissive types. There is nothing wrong with that and there are plenty of those guys to be found. But as a "strong woman", you should not expect to have much luck in attracting or having successful relationships with strong men because it will be like trying to blend oil and water.

[Opinion Owner]

Having read through some other responses here from women, it seems a common misconception is that men find "strong women" difficult and don't want to "work as hard" as they have to in order to be in a successful relationship with one. That's really not the case. It's not that men want an "easy" relationship or we are too weak to handle a "strong woman". They are simply unattractive to us for the reason I already mentioned. It's is a matter of attraction.

Simply put, men are attracted to femininity in women, and so called strong women have more masculine than feminine traits.

[myTake Owner]

I should mention that strong people are not necessarily dominant or something, but rather resilient. When you say dominant all i can think of jealous macho men or sassy tactless women. These are not the same as strong men or women in my opinion.

[myTake Owner]

Being strong also does not mean that you are not feminine. My mom is totally a hot traditional stay at home mom but she has her own strength that I admire.

[Opinion Owner]

There are lots of different ways that strength can manifest, but resilience was not at all what I thought you were getting at considering the things you listed. But that's cool. You mom sounds awesome.

[Browneye57]

TLDR. I shut down at the first 'intimidating" part. No guy is intimidated by anything woman unless she is physically threatening to kick his ass.

And without reading, I can tell you that all the things women admire in guys and the more they try to be 'strong and independent', the less desirable they are in a guy's eyes. They are looking for pretty, polite, demur, gracious, affectionate, and a host of other feminine traits. No one is impressed with your can-do like you are.

And the 'intimidating' thing is a joke.

[Anonymous]

Not to be an asshole, but you described a regular person. A guy wouldn't know you're a "strong" woman unless he dates you which none of these things are going to be helpful because you usually look for an easy going, fun, interesting person when you now start dating.

[myTake Owner]

I definitely agree with you. However, having mentioned traits as women does not mean you're automatically not fun to date.

[blutwolfe]

considering you dated 20+ dudes within the time frame of 6 months or so, thats what would scare me away, not any of these traits you listed, I don't personally know a guy who would give a fuk about any of that tbh, it's more of the persona of being the village bicycle, which is what is intimidating for any dude with a morale compass.

[myTake Owner]

dating or having a date = drinking tea or coffee and talking about each other, what we like etc. to get an initial idea whether we would match or not. I am not talking about getting into bed with every dude.

[blutwolfe]

well it was misleading when you said 3+ dates for each of them, but yeah even if you didn't, it's still intimidating to guys that we're just a number waiting in line.

[myTake Owner]

What should I do? Put all my eggs in one basket?

[blutwolfe]

well thats pretty much what a relationship is if you wanna put it into those terms, I'm just telling you how it is for some of us lol, clearly there's plenty of guys who don't care judging from the comments so you should be able to just keep doing you haha

[myTake Owner]

I think you are confused with the terms "dating" vs. "being in a committed relationship". I am looking for someone to settle down with. If after three coffee dates, or similar, I don't have any spark, or if I find out that the guy is very religious, or conservative, or if the guy expects me to be a stay-at-home mom in the future, I would of course not waste my time or his and tell him that we are not suitable or compatible for each other and jump on to getting to know the next guy. Dating is a game, the higher the number the higher the chances you'll find the perfect partner. I am not sleeping with all those guys, honestly I have slept with only one of them whom I dated the longest about five months and I waited for 2 months after weeding out all the others and stop seeing them, and i made it clear to the guy that i want to put my energy into him and plant something for future. he was the one who continued dating others while telling me how much he really likes me.

[lord_chilled]

gonna be completely honest,
this is very uplifting and positive to strong women, but the fact is that a lot of these (and by these , i dont specifically mean the points you stated) strong women, are simply not attractive to a lot of men, from a personality aspect.
im sorry, but its the truth.
there are other things than looks that men want, and thats a certain type of personality. and a lot of "strong' women dont fit into that.
just like some guys aren't very dominant or assertive, some women aren't very feminine, for lack of a better word.

[Unit1]

"jeder ist seines Glueckes Schmied" :)

I'd really love to have such a "strong" woman in my life. 😍😊 Are there many women, who fit into these treats as you describe "strong" ?
But seriously now those guys, who are intimidated by those women like you are what I would call... weaklings... or pussies. They missed their chance :P (NOT to be confused with preference)

I would gladly commit to such a person as I see myself fitting into most of these characteristics :) ♥

Ladies, where are you all at 😍😍😍 ?

[mrsingle]

I like a strong woman, but will she mind if I say what's on my mind and be upfront with her too? I like how you said strong women will approach a guy or message him first, I'm still waiting to find a woman who will do that to me and want to be in a relationship.

[myTake Owner]

I would definitely prefer an honest direct guy. Last guy i dated was playing with words and sometimes not answering a question with whatever he thinks, so that he doesn't lie to me. That was pretty annoying that he was not upfront about what he wanted or thought.

[mrsingle]

I am not like most Men in what I look for in a woman so finding a date has been very difficult, but what you described for the most part IS what I have been searching for! The big question here is, Do strong women with great jobs care if the Man does not work or makes less than her, because I would take staying home caring for the house while she works any day, and cook for her. I don't like gender stereotypes and this would be an ideal way to be in a relationship for me

[pavlove]

Knew it. At no point do you mention that strong women can take a joke. That strong women can take your opinions that are negative about them. That's the reason I feel like strong women don't really work. Guys get with them but they don't like that aspect of them. I do believe strong women don't care that their personalities are unattractive to men and I respect that a hell of a lot. What I don't respect is the hypocrisy and the fact that being rude to others doesn't make you strong especially when you can't handle a guy giving it back to you...

[myTake Owner]

I can take a joke and i make fun of myself or fool of myself. I perceive myself to be strong. What is wrong with that? The fact that i didn't mention it or i dont get your point sorry could you please explain more?

[MrIzz]

In my opinion, no man wants a manly women. No man. Mainly because if it is a heterosexual relationship then a man wants a lady, but should be able to handle their own. If a women is as aggressive and strong worded in nature, in public areas and in general, that is unattractive and a turn off. This is my opinion, don't get me wrong. I love aggressive women, bit those women were not as aggressive in public, during a conversation, or easily offended.

[Freija1989]

I agree with you on that too. But for a woman to submit, well, for me at least, to submit and be attracted I need to see the man I am with at least as strong willed as me if not stronger willed, otherwise it would make him appear so immature and such a turn off.

[Anonymous]

What about the other behaviours

Strong women won't be seen backstabbing or slating another woman that has never done anything wrong to her

Strong women will be confident

Some of these aren't for stronger women like how they will make the moves etc I never make the first move i can take you or leave you but i won't chase you. If you're a strong woman and have to make the first move you haven't met a guy strong enough for you

[luvstoned4him]

I agree. I possess majority of these qualities and men find me difficult.

[myTake Owner]

But once we find the right guy it is always long term love affairs. at least for m at least 1-1.5 year. My boyfriends also told me just they found me really difficult but worth in the beginning.

[luvstoned4him]

@mttakeowner exactly, we are worth it but most guys don't expect to work hard so they just walk away.

[mrsingle]

I think it's great quality, and you are one of the most open contributers on here @luvstoned4him and it makes it more fun because of that 😎

[luvstoned4him]

@mrsingle thanks for the compliment.

[kukushkalinka]

Very true. I agree with your spot-on points defining strong women. These points make it really hard for alpha/strong females to find proper dates. I say it as I am one of these strong women (or perceive to be one) and I feel like this is the reason I have hard time finding a good non-intimidated guy who is willing to commit to me.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

When you say "strong" how so?
If it's everything must be my way sort of "strong" then thats not going to work thats just a pain to deal with.
If its a being very forward sort of strong geting straight to the point that would probly work on me at least.
If its an angor issue thats obviosly going to be off putting to most men because they don't want to have to worry about you coming at them with a knife or other weapon if you have a bad argument.
Are you strong like Daenerys Targaryen or more like Cersei Lannister?

[AriadneSky]

Actually this was very good. i was expecting another cliche' about not caring about anything or making men jump through hoops or playing hard to get and wasting thrir own time. quite good and though its one persons opinion, i can relate :-)

[Listening5]

Lighten up. You take yourself way too seriously.
Everyone has strengths and flaws, this looks like an article from cosmopolitan.

[myTake Owner]

iNteresting i didn't know men read cosmopolitan because i dont as a woman

[Listening5]

I used to read it with a girlfriend

[nimbus24]

Strong women are feminine, they are strong being women and not trying to be a man. Girls use your femininity. We don't need to be a man to be strong. We don't need to do a man's job to be called strong women. We are strong being women.

[Anonymous]

Quite the tale.
I would very much like to meet one of these unicorns. But in 41 yaears I have yet to meet one. So your saying they exist?

[myTake Owner]

Yes. Most men just dont pay attention to them as they find all these qualities in a strong person, who has vagina, as very manly