It's Okay To Be a B*tch!

[amandaschwartz]

1. Alpha female = strong, independent woman

A woman that can be bitchy and stand up for herself is an independent woman. She doesn't need her man to make all the money, or rely on him for her happiness. She knows what she wants and she is going to get it.

2. Get what you want and don't settle

Why settle? Nah a Bitch is gonna get what she wants and won't put herself in a situation where she settles. So, she demand respect- take it or leave it.

3. A little fire and feistiness is HOT

No one likes a pushover. A person that is passionate, and motivated with a little fire is always hot.

4. Don't let people walk all over you

She won't always be a bitch. but when people try to take advantage of her, she will settle things her way.

5. Like me as I am, or walk away

Simple.

[RJGraveyTrain]

You know, you don't have to be a bitch to do any of these things. I swear girls with shitty attitudes just try to justify their mental behavior by trying to pass off acting like a jerk as "being strong and independent."

No. Lol. You can be level headed, strong, independent, successful - and NOT an asshole.

[coachTanthony]

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[hellionthesagereborn]

1. Being a bitch is not a good trait in a woman, a man doesn't want to date a man that looks like a woman, he wants a woman and that means a woman inside and out. Sure it might be interesting for a fling but long term? Not really. Caring and nurturing are far more important in the long run then being "strong and independent" which of course no woman ever really is. In fact if you don't need him then why would he stick around? Imagine if a man told you that, that he didn't need you, how would you respond? I'm guessing that's not very high on most womens list of romantic things a man could say to her, it sure isn't something men like hearing.
2. Don't settle? I would agree with not settling however women usually make the mistake of being unappreciative of what they have and then convince themselves they are settling only to realize they made a mistake. Case in point: www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ow-Im-childless-42.html
Their is a difference between settling and over valuing yourself, most can't tell the difference until its to late.
3. I agree, don't be a push over but don't be pushy either, most men are not overly fond of pushy women and most women hate men who won't stand up for themselves so that puts said woman in a precarious position either be pushy and lose a guy because he has enough self respect to not allow himself to be treated like shit or be stuck with a guy who you hate because he doesn't have enough self respect to stand up for himself. Its a fine road and again, most women know a days do not really have the nuance to walk it.
4. I suppose, though pettiness is never attractive, neither is over reactions.
5. I'm sure most guys can tolerate a woman if she isn't perfect, the question is how many women accept a man as he is? Answer: next to none. Its a rather hypocritical proclamation don't you think? Besides which compromise is necessary to have a healthy relationship and any man or woman who refuses to do so, who very ego centricly places themselves above their partner (as your advice would suggest) is just dooming any relationship they may acquire.
So while it is "okay"(I mean no one will stop you, they may not like you for it but they won't stop you) to be a bitch, its not likely going to win over any prospective partners (or friends/acquintances). Good luck, you'll need it.

[Tdieseler]

@Greek_God , this is more how i would have said it... but homie here has already said it.. now i can't post.
Apparently, Amanda over here just gave the recipe to all women on how to die single... its all uplifting and sounds fancy and right to a woman at first... until she puts it into practice.
Number 5 was my biggest point of contention... seems like hellion agrees too... women always want to be accepted as they are but always want to change a man...

Guys... when a woman displays all these traits to you... just do it back. watch them call you bitter.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler yep!

[Dez22]

you should never need a man or a woman, you should only want them. It should never be "I NEED to have this woman in my life, without her I'm nothing and I'm lost" that's never a good thing because that's how people lose their independence and sense of self worth. They feel like they can't do things on their own.

When a woman says she doesn't need a man, she means she doesn't depend on him for things she needs to survive like happiness, financial stability, achieving her goals, etc. She does that on her own already. What she wants out of someone is love, loyalty, and a companionship with someone who doesn't need her either. My boyfriend and I are the same way :)

[Tdieseler]

@Dez22 Agreed... to a point. I believe (as much as i hate to) that there is a point where "need" comes in, but that is waaay later in the relationship, and that need has to be Two-sided. because if its just one, its classified as being "clingy".
As to dating, no, definitely shouldn't need anyone. not for validation, not for change, not for satisfaction, nothing. Stay slightly detached. I know that more than most people. And i preach to my fellow brothers as well who "need" some girl to acknowledge them.

Or the ones who dont do stuff because "it will hurt their feelings"... that detachment, helps them to be able to say "fuck that hoe"... cuz i know from personal experience, that when a girl wants to do something that would hurt a man, they dont give a shit. Its "fuck that punk" (had a different word in mind)... still
So no neediness or clinginess... I've seen "clingy" girls be the ones dumping the guys they were "clinging" on to... lol... ain't that a bitch.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Dez22 No. I need a job, I need human interactions as a social being because otherwise I will suffer debilitating mental damage (scientific fact that isolation causes brain damage) I need to have some one to love and to love me. Having a benign indifference to a person is quite honestly the reason why relationships fail. You "want" them? No, if you do not feel a strong connection to them your relationship is doomed, end of discussion. Your conflating some kind of obsessive "if they are not in my life I will kill myself" mentality with need. We all need people. As for women, well first and foremost when a woman says she doesn't need a man, she is saying just that. Any woman who says she doesn't need a man sees a man as nothing more then an accessory. You don't see these women with strong relationships who "don't need a man" because they don't need them, they are disposable. They have no inherent value to them. That's the problem. Sure obsession is bad but so is indifference.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Dez22 If you don't need some one in your life then you are living a very lonely life never able to fully embrace another, to fully trust, to be fully intimate with, this is just a simple fact of life. That's what people who are to afraid of being attached to some one say. If you don't need your boyfriend dump him. After all you don't need him, you can find another he is not really some one that matters. You said it yourself you don't need him and you can find plenty of people who can love you, who you can trust, why keep this one? If a woman does not need me, does not see me as valuable enough to want me above others, to need me in her life then clearly I am going to always be worried that she will just kick me to the curb. I don't want some one I can trust, I NEED some one I can trust. I don't want some one love me, I NEED some one to love me. That's the difference. Woman are brainwashed into thinking that needing some one is bad even though we all need people.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Dez22 In fact you do need men, you needed a father to raise you, you need men to do all the hard jobs so that you can live comfortably (its not women who mine, manufacture, build, police or die on the front lines). You need men to work and pay taxes (men produce 200x the taxes women do women produce a net deficit of taxes yet use the most of that money rather then men who produced it). Women need men for money as otherwise women would not comprise 80% of domestic spending (70% globally) despite producing less then half of net earnings. So clearly women do need men. So again, what is wrong with needing some one? Why be afraid of being attached to some one needing them in your life? It doesn't mean they are the whole of your existence but that they hold intrinsic value to you, that they are not disposable. I think its rather twisted and narcissistic to not need people, especially since we are quite literally biologically wired to need people.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Dez22 I think @Tdieseler was fairly accurate with his statement (not exactly as I would put it but accurate none the less). Their comes a point where if the relationship is to survive you have to need them in your life, otherwise they will never be worth fighting for because "you don't need them".

[Tdieseler]

i dont know if i feel offended that i came in on the last leg of this tirade (that i didn't read)...
(sorry, gearing up for work and drinking like crazy, but i will read it later...)
but still... cmon... we have @Dezz22 isn't the person here..
we have to school @amandaschwartz... SHE is the moron in this story.
this bitch got a point... she said... its okay to be a bitch, and goes on to show how to be one. the thing is... men dont want bitches... men want women, ladies... girls lol
so she is just outcasting them by the numbers.
The only reason i haven't gone in on that Amanda bitch is because she did one thing i respect... she posted as herself. and i will respect that any day, that is a sign that she believes (even if its shit) that she will stand by her topic...
So i will stop her. If she was anon... whoooo...

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler I agree, their is something to be said about not going anon. You do need to respect some one who is willing to say their opinion without hiding.

[Tdieseler]

yup... i haven't hidden since 2014... i feel like it generates more replies lol...
I think amanda was trying to pat down her posts in one of these comments... i dont know which, but still i think i saw it, trying to "explain" what she meant...
No baby... just stand by the stupidity and hope the next one ain't like that...
lol "its ok to be a bitch"... i totally agree... its ok to get slapped like one too...

its ok to be a pussy... dont see guys lining up for that...

[Dez22]

@Tdieseler I can agree that in the long run you may need them because you've together for so long and as you get older, things change. My dad is developing a debilitating sickness now that he's older, and he does need my mom around more to help him with simple tasks after surgeries, and it's always better when it's your wife and not some nurse. It's just from my perspective, my parents (who've been together for 22 years) taught me from a young age that I should never depend on anyone else because the only person I can control and truly trust is me, and I never know what could happen. I should always have a plan B with myself if things don't work out. To this day, my parents still ingrain that in my head, by showing me to focus my happiness not on material things and people that can come and go, but achieving my goals, doing what I love, and growing as a person especially since I'm young.

[Dez22]

I agree, if there is indifference in the relationship it won't work. But we are not talking about having indifference here. We talking about not depending on someone for things you should have put together already. The only reason a relationship with a strong woman will fail is because neither don't have the same mindset. My parents have the same mindset and they've been together for 22 years!
And I never said we don't need men in the world or social lives. I never said that! You took this waaaay out of context, we're talking about romantic relationships here lol, but I do agree now that we need our partners in long-term romantic relationships depending on the circumstance :)

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Dez22 Yeah, you pretty much just explained why these kinds of relationships generally fail. If you cannot trust your partner fully then you are not fully commited and since your not fully commited you already have a foot out the door and are looking for some one else. You cannot dedicate all you have to that relationship and thus its not as much of an investment which means its not as much of a loss if you leave ensuring that you are more inclined to do so. Studies have shown that people who have prenuptial agreements are more likely to divorce, same with people who make plans in case things go wrong. They have less insentive to stick around and work things out. You have given up before you even try. That mentality dooms a relationship in the long run.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Dez22 As for the not needing men remark my point was you do need men so claiming you don't is illogical so why would it be absurd to need a man on the personal level when you need a man on every other level of your existence? That was what I was getting at, that is that clearly their is something wrong if you needing a man on the social level is perfectly reasonable but needing a man to love and trust on the personal level, the intimate level is some how a bad thing. In fact I would argue that the reverse would be true, needing a man on the social level that you don't know would seem to be (if your making the argument of not needing some one) as a bad thing because you don't know them you don't have any influence over them but they have ample influence over you while having it on the personal level would be significantly better because then you know them and understand them and are able to work with them instead of just hoping things go well. See what I mean? Its a strange notion.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler I've never hidden my profile personally, I think their is little point to it, I believe what I believe I will never hide that, some times I am wrong but their is nothing wrong with that. And I would agree with that, I think every one can do as they wish but that also includes ridiculing the behavior if they disagree with it.

[Tdieseler]

@Dex22 maybe i still have some growing up to do, but i dont often see the reason why i need a woman, or female... or whatever... im stupid in my own right, and that is why mother nature gave me thick skin. if anything... they need me.
thats why i eventually settled for mutual respect... thing is... (and i can ask hellion this) how many women actually have mutual respect? its stupid. about a year and a half ago i had to slap a female... did i want to? no... did she earn it? yea. because if she respected, it wouldn't have had to go that far. once you turn bitch.. you get hit.

@hellionthesagereborn keep it strong brother. I used to go anon before.. i didn't say bad stuff... it was just me being shy... not no more...4 years and counting. you want me... find me.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler I think the not needing a woman is due to the times not necessarily the lack of a need. Women are taught that men should not be respected and should in fact be hated, we are the enemy and you cannot really trust the enemy. So its the era we live in more then anything. But yeah if you are going to say something never shy away from it, censoring yourself or being ashamed of your ideas doesn't help you evolve or become better it stifles growth.

[Tdieseler]

I wouldn't go as extreme as that... there are some really bad men (and women) out there though but the subtle message is that men are the enemy... and women feel that if they take "charge" everything will be alright...
funny thing... its the Women that ARE the problem...
B. C. to A. D till now, men ran things and everything was alright... at least relationship wise... now women wanna take charge and not only did divorce come up, but shot up to a damn near 60% existence rate. they force a marriage... then leave it.
We aren't the enemy, they are, them and every man that lets em run wild.
Women are awesome, have great input... and are good.. As A Partner... not as an overlord like most guys make em. they are human, have a brain, they think (though crazy, which is useful sometimes).
but this moron says its good to be a bitch... thats not a woman... thats something else. and i absolutely back the mistreatment of bitches. :) last i checked... no hitting women.. but bitches... hmm

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler Look at media, look at how men are represented and it does show that society looks at us as either dangerous (wife beaters or child molesters (ironic since women are actually more likely to do both (Because they can get away with it, look at the punishments female teachers get for fooling around with their students then look for a male in a similar position and you will se the punishment is nothing in comparison. ITs not innate its just that women are allowed greater leeway then men are) or as bumbling idiots. For instance do you recall how on fathers day they where airing commercials celebrating mothers? Men can't even get one day. I don't think women are the enemy its the ideology that's the problem, they are trained by our current system to view men as being the enemy and that's what has caused all of these problems, that and how they are told that gender is a social construct instead of biology as we know it is (couldn't have transgenders otherwise).

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler So yeah, I agree. They have been told to act like men not women but even their idea of what a man is is completely skewed so its not even accurate its like some one came up with an extreme parody of what a man is without ever actually meeting one. That's why you have women trying to be overlords. They want a strong man but they want to be in charge, well its one or the other but they don't want to let go of the control but they are biologically wired to want a man who takes charge so what they have been taught is at odds with their biological instincts. That's why studies show that women are happiest when they are in traditional stereotypical relationships and why women are more unhappy now then ever before.

[Tdieseler]

Its all their own doing and the fools dont even recognize it. its sad really.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler Yes it is. Though to be fair a life time of brainwashing from media to schools doesn't help (that's why you see some males believing this as well). Its a sorry state to be sure, the up side however is people are starting to realize just how screwed up this is so who knows, maybe within a couple of decades things will be back to normal.

[Tdieseler]

probably not... not with "deadbeat" dads and single moms...
its not going away

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler All the more reason not to perpetuate the problem. I do think it will go away though, this is not the first time this has happened and probably won't be the last (sadly you would think we would learn our lesson).

[Tdieseler]

Still can't believe this moron said its ok to be a bitch, ok, im only calling her a moron according to this topic, because I've seen a couple of other things where she makes sense, but this is blatantly stupid. Its like saying "its ok to have a target painted on your back"...
no Amanda... just be a woman... ladies are already extinct... just be a woman. and i can Guarantee you... there will be a man.. i mean... look at the stats...
lady---gentleman
woman---man
girl---guy
bitch----... pimp?
so to all ladies following me and Hellion... all 0 of you, feel free to be a bitch...
but dont get mad... when i raise the pimp hand.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Tdieseler HERE! HERE!

[seby1607]

Uhhh... There is a big big difference with being an independent female and being a bitch.

Having an attitude of "I am always right. I get everything I want. Everyone who disagrees with me, even in the smallest situations, is wrong. I do not like to listen to others' opinions because I know mine is the right one. I hate everyone who disagrees with me. I get what I want and whoever does not give me what I want is a sexist and a misogynist. I can use my sex against men and if men stand up for themselves then they are sexist or misogynist." is a bitch, and should not be respected by either sex in society. At all.

However, women who stand up for themselves against misogynist men or sexist men and are, as you like to call it, "strong, independent women", and women who see that men and women should be treated equally, and not women above men, nor men above women, and women who are open to others' opinions in a respectful manner, should be respected in this society as they see the importance of gender equality and ACTUAL FEMINISM in this society. These people are not, or should not be, labeled as "bitches".

Open minded people are not "bitches", people who WORK HARD to GET WHERE THEY WANT TO BE and DO NOT ALWAYS GET WHAT THEY WANT are not "bitches", people who respect others for who they are aren't "bitches", people who understand the real meaning and concept of feminism and gender equality are not "bitches".

A bitch is someone who shouldn't be respected in society because they are not open minded, don't respect others for who they are, think they are above everyone else, think that feminism = women > men, are not willing to listen others because they think they are always right.

It is NOT okay to be a bitch. It is okay to stand up for yourself as a woman whenever someone tries to push you back down, but while, whenever possible, always respecting the other's opinion. And that is not being a bitch, that is standing up for yourself.

That is the difference between a "bitch" and a independent, strong woman.

[Nomad2]

Being a strong and independent woman has nothing to do with bitchiness. Bitches are malicious, undermining and bullyish. They come from a place of weakness not a place of strength, even if they appear stronger than others, which in most cases people just won't mess with them when they pick up a vibe of mental sickness (I believe most bitches aren't mentally well). Most of the time bitches make themselves feel good at someone else's expense, they don't care about anyone else, or go out of their way to make someone's life hell, and surely they aren't happy within themselves - as this state of peace and tranquility is just out of their reach. This isn't strong, this is sick and wrong. There are lots and lots of them out there, but I wouldn't call them strong or alfa. They are pure toxic that what they truly are.

I would apply the bitch to either male of female who meets the description above, as there are lots of men who are just like women toxic, cruel, self-centered, unhappy with themselves and go out of their way to destroy others.

[Anonymous]

Sounds more like a slightly emotionally insecure disappointed romantic than a bitch to me.
1. Alpha female is kind of a weird term considering it's based of a biological concept that doesn't apply to organism that rely more heavily on cooperation over competition aka humans. Ask anyone with a biology degree (aka me) and they'll tell you how misguided people are on this whole alpha beta nonsense. At best an "alpha" female would need a following which requires an attitude of leadership which inherently requires that she be somewhat dependent. There's no real reason to fear being dependent on others it's part of being human. Everyday you drive on roads built by others in cars built by others to a job that someone else pioneered aspects of. You can't escape dependency even if you go off grid your still using the knowledge you gained from generations past
2. I agree settling is bad but assuming what you want is what you need is the best way to repeatedly disappoint yourself. Not to mention the fact that no positive characteristic exist without a negative side. By the simple nature of personality everyone is bound to be imperfect. So settling is probably a bad idea but learning to accept and love imperfection definitely isn't.
3. Wholeheartedly agree with this one but being self confident doesn't necessarily mean being a bitch in fact knowing how to confidently side step an issue and handle it with out lashing out has always seemed like a more respectable person to me.
4. See 3
5. Agreed but nothing's wrong with being open to change we've all got room to grow.

Good mytake overall tho.

[Investigator]

You get out of a relationship what you put in; hell, you get out of anything what you put in. If you consistently go into the relationship with the expectation of being difficult and feeling entitled and just expecting the other person to put up with your shit, don't be surprised when you get kicked to the curb. If it's always the other person's fault that they can't handle you, then you are unlikable. If you say "it's okay to act this way", you are admitting that you have learned nothing, you will continue to learn nothing and you are just too important to be accountable.

If you're response to this "well, I don't have time to have time to care", then no one has time for you.

[Bilo007]

Shit man, I wish I had that foresight and wisdom at 24 lol good answer mate

[Bandit74]

I'd rather have something in the middle. There are a lot of girls who are not passive doormat or bitches.
And if I was forced to choose between the two extremes, passive or bitchy then passive sounds like the lesser of two evils.

The alpha bitch girls give off that egotistical "if you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best" attitude and even if you can handle her it probably won't be worth it.

https://i.imgur.com/dHhdbFe.jpg

[I-am-a-nobody]

No, I don't like that kind of attitude.
You were obviously with the wrong kind of man before.
While you might now be tempted to say, "Nice girls finish last", it's best not to err on the killer B side.
You know what you want and you know what's important to you. That's good.
But there's no need to be cold.

My wife is gentle and soft and she gets her way 95% of the time.
OK, probably 100%, but I don't want too sound too whipped. (ha ha)

Hang in there, wait until you heal a little before doing anything drastic.

[Nyx_85]

You can be all of those things without being a bitch at all. People who know me generally think I'm very nice and I'm an extremely patient person but they also know I won't roll over and play dead when they've crossed a definite line. I will never sacrifice my principles and I won't accept being treated badly. Yet I also believe in maintaining composure to the best of my ability. If I ever get really angry (which is rare) they'll know it's pretty damn serious. And I believe that respect is earned and another person's choice if they want to give it to you or not. Not something you can demand just because.

[Nyx_85]

Many people who don't know me that well think I'm a pushover because I'm quiet, a bit meek and I don't fuss over certain things. That couldn't be further from the truth.

[This_is_my_username]

I think being firm. Yet being warm is the best way to gain respect without being a bitch. Bitchyness is petty and what children do too be intimidating. Which doesn't work. It just comes off as "wow she's such a gruff. And uptight." then no one wants to be around you and that sucks. My mum always said. You can't control the situation or the outcome but you can always choose your attitude. That's what makes you.

[Freija1989]

If you don ' t rely on your man what pleasure or enjoyment is in having a man at all. Might as well live with a lesbian if you ' re be or live alone. I think, in my opinion, it ' s much more enjoyable to be supported by a man and not having to work, but hey you know your tastes. If you enjoy working your ass off and investing a lot of energy into everything like supporting yourself and statnd up for yourself go for it. It ' s indeed strong but not something I ' d like to do myself. I can ' t lift heavy weights, but I ' m not interested in trying or learning so I don ' t envy a strong person that can, I welcome it if they do it for me.

[Browneye57]

Uh, no honey. Hope you like cats.
You've been told this by the FI but unfortunately it's just not what men want. So go ahead and be strong and independent cuz you're gonna need to be - you're not going to be able to land a decent guy.

Once you hit about 35 and your looks are fading and everything is starting to droop, you'll be standing there with your hands on your hips yelling, "WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE?"

:)

[Schrodingerscat]

It's so sickening that "being a bitch" is considered nice thing by many women.
Newsflash: It isn't.
If you are sweet and nice to all, is polite and humble, "settle down" for something, doesn't mean you are weak.
You can by strong, independent and not be a bitch. Period.

[natured]

I agree with being independent and being strong, I also have an attitude (and a lot of people here know) but i got attitude with heart, defining somebody with a B word is a little too harsh if you ask me.
In this case, i must be the biggest B*** in the world.
BUT, i do settle down, i do care about my man and love him.

[MrMysteryMan]

There's a difference between a strong woman and a bitch. I'm not sure if you think they are one in the same or dumbing down the difference for us neinderthall males, but what you're talking about is someone who is sure of their virtue and wants someone who is like minded. This is a strong woman. A bitch is someone who "thinks" they should get everything, but doesn't deserve everything. If you put yourself forward as someone who deserves everything, than fine. Otherwise, you are a bitch.

[JustlyPartial]

Assertive ≠ A shitty attitude.

For #5, news flash: you have negative traits; everyone does. If you surround yourself with people who like everything you are, you're never gonna build character.

[Crapulux]

Heh.

www.ourlighterside.com/.../give-a-fuck-meter.gif

[Cccgala]

"So, she demand respect- take it or leave it."

One does not simply demand respect. Respect is earned.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

"Like me as I am, or walk away."

media.giphy.com/media/5DlwRpCbY156w/giphy.gif

[Neverrrmore]

😂😂😂😂

[CHRIS11796]

I don't know why a lot of girls (specifically young girls) think being a bitch is a good thing. It's not and it will give people a bad impression of you. It's not attractive and just immature. And you don't have to be bitchy to be strong and independent.

[englisc]

No, there's a difference between being assertive and being a "bitch".