Okay. Maybe she wasn't a bitch the entire movie. But we all still hated her for a minute when she picked her awful boyfriend over Edward, right? Yeah, that type of girl is who I'm talking about here.
Today, I did something I never thought I'd do. I became someone I never thought I'd become.
I'm the bitch in the teen romance movie.
You know the one; she leads on our beloved protagonist, then breaks up with him before their first date. She's leaving him for some stupid boy who'll never love her back, or some douchebag who doesn't deserve her. But luckily, our hero finds a girl who's just as nerdy and quirky as him, and the bitch is left to watch nerdy girl and the protagonist ride of into the sunset toward a happy suburban life and 2.5 kids.
Yeah. I'm that bitch.
On February 13th, I had the joy of being asked out by someone who could quite possibly be the perfect guy- he's 6'2", thin but strong, blue eyes, brown hair, perfectly pale, the works- and I, of course, accepted. He was a far cry from my ex-boyfriend- short, dark hair, dark eyes, nothing special- and he was way more in my league. I was sitting pretty. Finally, a guy who met my standards. He wouldn't mess me up like my ex did. I had a date for Valentine's day, and I was happy. For about two hours.
Well, it was more like an hour and twenty minutes. But for some reason, my ex (whom I hadn't really talked to since our breakup) texted me. Now see, this just so happened to be at the same time Mr. Perfect texted me. But when I looked at my phone, it became clear to me- I wanted to text my ex first.
I'm not over him.
Now that took a while to realize. I talked to Mr. Perfect for another day, and then half an hour before our date was scheduled, I told him I'd had a really bad cold settle in (which, I mean, is half true; I do feel sick- but I doubt it's due to a virus). And when he asks to reschedule, I've got my next couple of weekends booked. I'll hit him with a good old "we'll see", and hopefully he'll get the hint.
Major bitch move, right? I don't think so.
Say I had gone on a date with this boy. What then? The only reason I'd be going on a date with him would be to show myself "hey!!! you're completely over your ex!!!!" which is bad for both of us, because a.) I'm not, and b.) I wouldn't be dating him because I genuinely want to get to know him. Either way, it would all be for me. Is it any more fair for me to lead this boy on, let him think he has a chance with me by going on a date with him, only for him to end up with someone who's hooked on their ex? Is it fair to let him fall in love with me while I love someone else for the sake of "not hurting his feelings"? If you think about it, isn't it much less of a bitch move to leave now then to drag him along?
Isn't that teen romance movie bitch just as much a protagonist as any other character? Look at it from a different perspective- if the teen bitch never let our hero go, he'd never be with his nerdy true love. In a way, she's just advancing the storyline; sure, maybe he's hurt for a second, but it allows him to know what real love is when he's with nerdy girl. She's not the villain; it'd be far more villainous of her to play him. Instead, she lets him down. She knows she's not right for him. She knows he doesn't deserve to be with a girl who's in love with someone else. And maybe that someone else is a douchebag jock, but the heart wants what it wants, and that's okay. She has every right to let the hero down.
I know, I know- I'm probably just rationalizing due to internalized guilt, blah blah blah. But I feel a new connection to this archetypal bitch I see on TV. She's not out to hurt anyone, she's just hurt herself. It's okay to not be ready to date someone. It's okay to want to be alone. It's okay to want your ex back. And it's especially okay to avoid hurting others by staying true to yourself.
As I sit here, it's the exact time my date should be beginning, and I'm at peace. I'll be spending Valentine's day with my mom, no boys, and that's what I want for myself right now. For a while, the focus is going to be on me and me alone. And there's nothing wrong with that.
So yeah, I'm that bitch from the teen romance movies. And for God's sake, that is completely okay.
xx
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