I'm a "Good Girl" In This Day and Age

[Anonymous]

So, as my title says i'm what you would describe as a good girl. I know, how boring, but it's true. To be honest it's difficult being a good girl, with everyone either having sex or doing drugs, etc... And here I am doing none of those things. I feel like sometimes it's difficult to make friends, because of it. Sometimes when I tell people, "Oh, you're a virgin," etc... And then they won't talk to me again. LOL. I honestly find it hilarious at times when they do actually stop talking to me, because I mean really?! Just because of that you don't want to be friends? Okay, you're loss.

So, yeah, I'm a twenty four year old virgin. And no, it's not because of religion or wanting to wait until marriage, or even guys not wanting to do it with me, because hey I get asked to hook up a lot. And my answer is always the same, no. I just want my first time to be with someone i'm in love with and trust completely. I've had terrible luck in love, and it's not for the lack of trying. I've had four boyfriends and two loves already. They just haven't worked out.

And I also never do drugs, never have, never will. Again, nothing to do with religion or whatever, I just hate the thought of putting something made with rat poison into my mouth. Disgusting. I've been offered some in the past, and I passed. Plus the smell is just awful.

I've also never cheated on my partners before. Though, I've had two who cheated on me. I broke of those relationships as soon as I heard. But i've never done it myself and I don't plan to. I want to be with a guy that I love and who loves for the rest of our lives. And I guess that makes me a good girl right there. I've just never had the desire to be with more than one person at a time, one person is definitely enough for me. Thanks.

I also don't like to wear makeup much. I prefer the natural look. Yeah, sure, without makeup I look dull probably. But I don't really care. I only wear makeup on special occasions or on dates. And before you ask, I am feminine. I love dresses and skirts and all those pretty clothes and hair accessories, I just prefer to look natural.

I could go on and on about it, but nah. By your definition, I am a good girl. Sometimes I wish I wasn't, because it can get a bit lonely and boring. But I am what I am. I'm not going to change myself to become someone i'm not just for the sake of it. And I hope that one day i'll meet my one true love and be happy. But for right now, I guess i'll continue to be "the good girl".

[sovetskii13]

😍 You are like the soulmate I never met 😍
If only we met like 7+ years ago. You are one unique woman. Can't find ladies like you these days. I have always been the 'Nice Guy' type which no one seems to have interest in. Except, I never put enough effort into it. Never kissed, never dated. Gave up.
It's weird how many people consider us boring, loser, weird, messed up, etc. There is nothing wrong with making our own decisions on how to live, sticking to traditions, beliefs, etc. Right? Right! The opportunities go down by a significant amount but still possible. Don't give up your desires and keep rolling. It is tough and lonely at times. I definitely feel that. I don't mean to bring you down but be sure to have everything planned ahead in case it never happens. You don't wanna waste your life searching and nothing else. Have your education, finances, career, home, etc. ready to survive a lifetime.
☺ Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best ☺

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh, im. I'm fortunate enough to have friends that accept me for the way I am. I know I'm younger, but I've learned that being the "good girl" is a great thing, and majority of my friends and family tell me that I should stay the way that I am because we are rare in this world now a days lol. Not to down on anything others are doing because they can live how they chose too, however I

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry that came out wrong lol. I was basically saying I'm in the same situation as you, (I'm 18 btw). I've learned to accept, and be proud of myself for my choices with the help of others. I know it's hard. We've all been tempted at one point, but it's just not in us to do so and we can't help it. I'm glad to finally hear someone else is in the same position as me and following through with it.

[Anonymous]

It's not exactly clear in your entry on what the question or the point of this message was. If this entry was to define what a "good girl" is in this day in age, i'd have to respectfully disagree. I believe a "good girl" in this day in age would be identified by her kind, considerate and giving heart with no expectations, as well as, thinking of others before herself.

If the point of your entry was because you want friends or more friends, i'd suggest getting involved in your universities or volunteer groups that you have an interest in. If you do work, work friends are always a hit or miss and I wouldn't necessarily expect much from work friends.

Otherwise, good for you that you can express the things that you know you want and don't want. It's good practice in helping you to define and build up your self-concept and self-esteem.

Personally, I smoke weed with my friends and I really enjoy it. I wouldn't think to shun you because you chose not to, that sounds beyond ridiculous and unreasonable. Same with you actively choosing to be a virgin, that shouldn't matter to anyone. You are not an object where your sex status defines you. Maybe there is another reason that people avoid you?
Good luck, darlin'.

[Nxtawm]

I'm not hating cause I'm also what you qualify as a "good girl" but in my opinion doing all that doesn't make you a good girl. Sure those girls that sleep around and stuff are bad girls but I think that those qualities you listed only makes you a normal girl. You don't do anything bad but at the same time you aren't doing anything good.
For me, a good girl would be someone who is hardworking in their work or studies. Who is nice and good. They take care and worry about others as well as help others. They are polite too. That's what makes a good girl, they give more than the average humans.
Actually a perfect example of this would be my older sister (she's a person I look up to) she was nice, if my mom needed to go somewhere or do something she could always rely on my sister. My sister was a good translator and helped family members who didn't know English well out. She took care of my grandpa while almost none of my cousins or uncles and aunts wanted to. She worked hard at her studies and her job and was responsible. Lastly she was also a great person in general and fun to be around. If what you said counted as being a "good girl" then all I can say is humanity is doomed. Pretty disappointed in what defines a good girl now a days.
Also two points I want to make is that like you said good girls aren't boring, they can still have fun even if they aren't stuffing their body with poison or partying. Though I disagree that people will not want to be friends with good girls. I'm what you define as a good girl yet people don't avoid me. I think it may be other parts of your personality that doesn't fit in. Because I don't quite fit in well as I can't hang out with my friends often and I'm not as interested in topics that interest them. (They are also good girls)

[Confidenceoverload]

Good girls 👌 it’s hard to find a loyal girl now I should know I’ve been cheated on 3 or 4 times I lost count it’s bullshit I just want to be treated good because I’m a nice guy I’m protective over the girl I love but I can’t have what i want right 😞I just want a girlfriend that loves me and that I can love wholeheartedly and plus I’ve never had the thought of cheating and plus I’m a nice guy I do smoke weed but that’s to mellow out the pain i feel from being cheated on and I drink to remember the past when I was a baby and had no concern in the world but now I’m 16 almost 17 and I’m forced to deal with the world right now but I’ll keep fighting I won’t stop and I want to find the perfect girl who loves me because she deserves someone better than these slimy dirtbags and I want to wake up next to her kiss her everyday and make her feel loved and of course be her dominant man 😈 and I want to make her dinner, breakfast and lunch and then do small but loveable gestures 😊 and then when we go to sleep make sure she is happy and protect her from all the guys who just want to use and abuse her I know I’m just rambling on but this is genuinely how I feel you can say I sound feminine but I’m not this is just how I feel being raised by a mom alone pretty much Dad was a dick and left me and my step dad is even worse so I’ve always been taught to respect women

[Confidenceoverload]

Downside about me is I’ve had sex but never had a kiss 😒and plus I’ve never cuddled and I always wanted to after I had sex but they just left 👿I just wish I could be a Virgin again

[Myquietsoul]

I don't know you but from you're mytake I probably wouldn't want to be around you either just from the simple fact that you call yourself "good". "Good", "bad" and titles like thst should never be self-imposed and to be honest, you sound arrogant. I mean, you're literally doing the bare minimum to be a decent human, nothing to brag about. And honestly, I knew a girl like you, an ex actually, and she was the person who was the most bitter, judgmental, arrogant, entitled and played the most games. And nobody wanted to be her friend either. I think you need to look at your actual interactions with people and stop being so hung up on being "a good girl" and worry about being yourself and playing the victim. As far as the relationships you mentioned, obviously, you didn't give any details about them so I can't comment on specifics but you saying that you had 4 boyfriends but none them worked sounds fishy to me. Besides the ones who cheated on you, it sounds like you would be the type of person to put someone on a pedestal and give them all thes impossibly high standards that you don't even measure up to so you break up at even the slightest infraction cause you're expecting perfection/fantasy, not reality or a connection.
Again, this is only the impression I got, you didn't give enough details on your life but I still think you need to do some self reflection

[AynonOMouse]

You'll be happy with your decisions later on in life, and those ones that stopped being friends with you because you won't do drugs or sleep around are the ones that will have a crappy life long term.
They will likely have kids by different fathers, all of whom have left them for other promiscuous people, and the ones that do drugs will have an unstable life, losing jobs, getting arrested, or maybe even dying in their late 30s like one of my cousins because she had done so much damage over the years from drugs.

You are making good choices. Just try to find other people that make those good choices to hang around for friends when you can.

[Anonymous]

I was a good girl too back in the days lol. At 22, I was a virgin who never touched drugs and didn't wear any make up. I was a flirt but didn't have sex with any of my boyfriends then. I had fun with guys when I was single. I can be a bad girl too if I want. Only one boyfriend cheated on me because I didn't give up my V card. I was a loyal and loving girlfriend.

[Lukej044]

That was really refreshing to read 😊 Don't ever give up your morals for others.

I lost friends from one night when I had a really attractive lady hitting on me when she was drunk, we all knew she had a boyfriend but kept insisting we go back to her appartment. I couldn't do it no matter how attractive I thought she was. Anyway my "so called friend " moved in and slept with her while her boyfriend was away. I got called a dick head , idiot etc. needless to say I'm not friends with those guys and all honesty I'm glad those pill popping drunk idiots are out of my life.

Don't ever give up on your beliefs.
by the way what you just described is what a gentleman wants not a boy :)

[cormurnel]

I don't think it's that unusual or weird or bad. I was like this until I was 25 and a friend wanted to try weed (and eventually took my virginity by force).

I always thought I was alone in my bubble, but I've met a lot of similar people over the last few years. I don't think it's a bad thing, I planned to never change and I was extremely happy with who I was, but it was also nice to experience new things and have meaningful experiences, even if they weren't all good. But anything you do should be because you want to do it and you think it's beneficial to you somehow. I never felt lonely and never felt boring, I thought I was great and I loved my company. There's nothing worse than being reliant on other people to feel good.

[VegetaSSB]

Well you are pretty much the ideal woman of about every real men (and not grown up boys) out there, sometime you will find a good partner that will respect, appreciate and honours your values, till there, just keep living up to your ideals and let the metoo generation fuck themselves up with their shit.

[Bliss-taylor]

There needs to be more girls like you. I wouldn't say having had sex or wearing make up would make a girl bad but it does make a difference between pure and not. Having a lot of sex with multiple guys puts some one under the bad girl line. You're innocent. You have morals and expectations that aren't taken seriously by women today and even some men.

[martsa]

Hey another good girl here :) Im 20 and still virgin and I even haven't experienced my first kiss lol XD and I don't do drugs or drink so much. I used to wish that I was bad girl because I wanted to be cool. But now I'm fine being like this. So yes, don't change yourself, accept yourself as who you are!

[shephardjhon]

The things you mention also depend a lot on the kind of people you hang out with. If you are only with others who do party and do drugs and such stuff, of course you are boring to them. I know you said you aren't religious but you could try to find religious Muslim, Christian or Jewish friends who seem like fun. In the case of us Muslims, make sure they aren't overly religious but if you find they pray 5 times a day and only eat Halal, veterinarian or sea food, but still mention they watch a lot of movies and TV and do other fun but family-friendly stuff, they are good. If you find they are wearing a burqa, niqab or sometimes a scarf or guys with huge beards or ones that talk too much about religion, don't hang out with them.

[effyourfeelings]

I'm also a virgin and I never did drugs before. Unlike you, I've never been in a relationship before. I do only wear makeup on special occasions cause if I wear it everyday i feel like i'll run out of it.
I'm a 'good girl' too I guess but I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I want to change all of this next year

[zzzondarrr]

Lol, why change, don't you think all that stuff u're missing out is actually bad and good to be avoided?

[PureGuy]

@effyourfeelings Don't change. You'll be fine.

[readywriter]

Well you are the woman men dream of. Wait for what you want. You are doing great. How does your sexual status come up anyway?

[myTake Owner]

They start talking about sex and then ask me how many guys i've slept with, etc...

[readywriter]

They got balls. That just doesn't seem like something I would ever ask a girl I barely know. And I mean a long time.

[azzntittiz]

Because this is a fake woman, and a Mytake written to provoke guilt lmao.

[myTake Owner]

@azzntittiz Dude, it's not fake. I am what I am. Just because you're not, doesn't mean someone else is the same as you. And no it's not supposed to provoke guilt, if you feel guilty it's out of your own volition and that means that you have something to feel guilty about. Oh, and i'm not a fake woman, I can assure you that; though I would guess you think all the women on here are fake. Can you say paranoid?

[azzntittiz]

lmao, you sound retarded and boring to be honest. Your virginity has nothing to do with why people avoid you. I stayed a virgin for a long time, and everybody thought I was cool. Women tried to emulate me, and men had secret crushes on me. You will stay lame for long time.

[myTake Owner]

@azzntittiz Wow, congratulations, would you look some applause. Or perhaps a standing ovation? -_- You sound exactly like the kind of people I like to avoid, self centered and egotistical moron. Did I say that guys don't like me? No, I said that a lot of guys ask me to hookup and I refused. Lame has never been a word that i've ever described myself as. You can say whatever you want, I really don't care about you or your opinion, you're still a narcissistic old person.

And by the way, you commenting like you are about me being boring and lame, etc... is lame. You're lame.

[azzntittiz]

Lmfao you're in for surprise, you're in for a shock...

[myTake Owner]

@azzntittiz Oh, i'm sure. -_-

[OatsnWhey]

azzntitties is the most bitter woman on this website lol. literally hates men and talks shit about them all day. throws her sexuality in everyone's face and wonders why guys don't take her seriously.

[janeyjaney]

@azzntittiz lol she is not fake... there are women out there like her. I am like her.
Why would she provoke guilt.. ? Makes no sense.. unless you have something to feel guilty about :)

[janeyjaney]

@azzntittiz You are soo bitter... I truly feel sorry for you..

[readywriter]

@janeyjaney What is all this about?

[azzntittiz]

@janeyjaney No, I feel bad for you.

[Anonymous]

Being a good girl doesn't equate to keeping your virginity and refusing drugs. To be honest, you sound boring, not for your virginity but like a really boring person.

This take also sounds like a guy wrote it, trying to make women think girls like you actually exist, there's nothing special about never doing drugs and never getting laid really.

Same guys telling you that you're a dream girl would be so sad with somebody like you, your energy is so bland. Work on you character.

[Langseax]

You don't have to be a sloot to have character.

[Opinion Owner]

@Langseax Okay future confused man and habitual pussy buyer.

[savalisk]

Why did the counter article "Why Be Good When You Can Be Bad?" get featured but this didn't?

It's a great mentality to have. Don't waste your youth though. By which I mean, get out there and find the love of your life :D Youth is very attractive.

[kitty71]

Im somewhat similar but I have differences though and I guess being a good girl in my past and still currently has not helped me a lot to have firends or even date or have boyfriend. s In a way for me it had backfired me being so good but I am against being a bad girl either. I dotn smoke, never doen drugs in my past not even for curiosity, I have few few Friends, I hardly go out socially, I dont have a boyfriend or never dated in the past.

[JulieXO]

I'm not judging you her, but your life just sounds so boring to me. You're missing out on a ton, but each to their own.

[zzzondarrr]

Maybe all that stuff she's missing out is actually bad and good to be avoided?

[Nadzzz]

@zzzondarrr why do people say sex is bad? What kind of damage does sex bring? Drugs is different of course but still trying weed and trying sex is considered as being a bitch?

[zzzondarrr]

@Nadzzz Sex is great, what is bad is when you do it with multiple different people, because you're supposed to do it only with one person you've devoted yourself to.

If you do it with multiple people it damages your mind and you become unable to understand true love afterwards.

[Nadzzz]

@zzzondarrr yeah sure if you become an escort it gets bad
But if you try a relatiobship and it doesn't work out it doesn't mean your life has ended wtf
Its 21st century people
I don't know where you live but the first world is totally against this idea of being devoted to one person
In todays generations its almost impossible to find that person with the first attempt
Life is not a fairytale
Relationships in real life sometimes dont work out
And if you change the partner you are not a bitch

[zzzondarrr]

@Nadzzz "Its 21st century", yeah, we evolved so much as a species from the last century
😂
It's true that life is not a fairytale and that's why u need to be really careful before you enter a relationship with someone if you want your relationship to work out.

I don't know what do you consider a "first world", but being against devotion to one person only sounds really odious. Love exactly is, by definition, devotion to one person only, if you love more than one partner, you truly love none. True love is when your partner becomes your sole purpose of life, and how can you have multiple partners then, it just invalidates the meaning of true love. And that's exactly what happens in practice, people are usually true, if ever, only to their first love, and if it fails they usually lose faith in love and stop valuing it for the rest of their lives.

[janeyjaney]

@zzzondarrr I completely agree with everything you said. 👌

[zzzondarrr]

@janeyjaney glad to hear that 😁

[PureGuy]

@JulieXO Be a whore, slut or pornstar, that's normal in your culture but don't confuse a good girl.

[Langseax]

@Nadzzz
I really need to keep this study on hand closer for ease-of-quoting.

ifstudies.org/.../

If you hope to have a stable (and more special) marriage when you're older, it's best you abstain.

[Langseax]

@zzzondarrr Aye human biology and psychology doesn't change, regardless of which century you live in. We are the first species to put an end to our evolution (assuming evolution is real) by making our environments suited to us, and not the reverse. There are miniscule differences between ancient humans and modern ones, but mostly in the fact that modern ones are a bunch of sloths.

[Langseax]

Julie, just because you like being a slut, doesn't mean other girl like doing the same. I'll tell you something; it may be fun in the short run, but when your ovaries start to wither, the only guys who'll take you will be the weak betas who couldn't keep up and have to settle for the town bike. After the age of 23 (a woman's peak) her sexual market value declines and continues to drop, and unlike men who have a second peak (due to wealth), women cannot recover without quickly finding a bandwagon to jump on to.
You may think it sexist, but that's simply how male psychology and human biology work.

[JulieXO]

@PureGuy Not confusing anyone, just expressing my own opinion.
@Lanseax It's not sexist it's just bullshit. My "sexual market value" is declining? Well I don't really give a shit, I'm not an object.

[PureGuy]

@JulieXO That's still bad. There's too much pressure on virgins in modern world and you're a part of this.

[JulieXO]

@PureGuy Expressing my opinion is bad? You ever heard of freedom of speech?

[PureGuy]

I heard morality and responsibility.

[ericclayton]

@JulieXO "Not judging", except for the giant mytake you just wrote in response to this one.

[JulieXO]

@ericclayton I was sharing my opinion on this matter, which happens to be the absolute opposite of this one. My intention was neither to judge nor to belittle her for the way she is.

[SlickNick94]

I can relate to this... I'm 23 and don't do drugs, I don't drink a ton and I'm not just sleeping around with girls. Girls in this day and age consider me a "boring" guy. I always wonder where the "good" girls are, but I sometimes try to figure out what "good" actually is. As boring as it may seem, stay the way you are... you're the kind of girl I need. You'll find someone special eventually :)

[SomeStrangeGirl]

Same! I'm considered a good girl too cause I'm a 16-year-old virgin who has never cheated, doesn't lie, don't do drugs (in fact I`ve passed my very uncle on that offer.), and I'm almost always kind and positive.

[Langseax]

Great to hear us young people aren't all lost. Hope you stay true on course. ;)

[SomeStrangeGirl]

@Langseax lol ikr? Thank you same to you. :)