The Dating Scene Is Pathetic

THE DATING SCENE IS PATHETIC

So this is my first take, it's really what I should be doing instead of asking questions, because I already know what I need to know about both sexes. Sounds cocky, but at 30 and with the life I've lived I have seen it all.

WHAT IS A RELATIONSHIPS AND ARE YOU DOING IT RIGHT?

Relationship is the way two or more people/things are connected, we've long lost connection with anything but our electronic devices. A romantic relationship is one where both are connected emotionally, sexually and sometimes mentally. People nowadays are lacking the skills for any type of relationship and it's sad, but what seems to be prime interest of everyone is to form a romantic relationship in hopes of marriage.

It's funny to me when I get ridiculed on a site where people ask strangers questions like "how do I look?", or "how do you know when you have chemistry", as if anyone can know the chemistry you're experiencing. I am called a loser for being single at 30, and criticized for saying I chose to be alone, when I could have been married many times, without asking anyone's advise or lying about my number of partners, but I'm the loooser.

ARE YOU RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL?

If you need others on the internet to validate you, or you are not sure how you feel about yourself, or you struggle with what you bring to the table, you are not relationship material, go fix yourself. If you say things like "you're not good enough because you'd have a man", you are childish and clueless. 8 out of 10 relationships are sexless and loveless, how much more of a loser can you get than pretending to be happy, for the show of it?. If you're in a relationship and are online all the time, your relationship is obviously not doing its job, I am single so I can be here a lot. When I had relationships I was offline way more unless it was business.

AND NOW THE MEN, WHAT DO YOU OFFER AND DO YOU REALLY HAVE STANDARDS?

Even for marriageable girls, the number of unfit husbands is staggering, men get online to complain about lazy and selfish women, but praise desperate women who worship them. They know these girls are desperate for a reason and still encourage it. Every girl who obsess over having a man, has no energy for goals, self improvement, home management and motherhood, but she might get pregnant just to keep you around and unsure her financial benefits, this is why you still end up with bad sex, poorly raised kids and a dirty house no matter how she worships you.

Men do not know what they want and so I don't submit to them. I just made a comment defending my value, the women downvoted because they are bitter, it never occurred that maybe they should look at themselves, the men downvoted because they think it will shatter me, the same reason they play head games and show no appreciation should you give your precious self to them. Has it ever occurred to you that most men don't bring anything to the relationships either.

Men, just like my exes, you all talk about quality women, but do spiteful things to her because those same qualities intimidate you. I cook, clean, give bomb ass sex, funny as hell and look good fresh faced, make my own money, not lazy and give great moral support.....what do you offer?. Most of these men cannot list their qualities, so why should you believe them when they talk about how unmarriageable girls are?. You claim interest in only quality then go right back to defending lazy women, you know why? because many men are phony, timid and selfish, they expect but don't offer anything. This is the reason for their need to subjugate and spite good women, but it backfires. It is 2017, the only women who run to you, are the ones you deserve, I call them karma because they mirror you. They are not a reflection of the rest of us, and you can't shame me into marrying any of you, keep telling yourselves it's not you it's me... because something, something men are the peak achievement of a woman, peace! I'm out.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Most PEOPLE nowadays seem to be terrible at dating/relationships/marriage. But hey maybe we never were that good at it to begin with. It's just that our ideals about what is acceptable in our society has changed. Before a married couple was expected to stick with it no matter what and give the illusion of happiness now that's not the case. But at least before we had closer knit communities to help out. These days we are antisocial and reliant on technology. And everyone has ADHD or Aspergers or something...

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    • Best answer!. I figured this might be the case. I thought if you have it in you nothing should take that away, not feminism, not pass failed relationships and not your upbringing. I still do house-chores and take care of myself, my mother was a bad mother and didn't teach me anything but still I'm a rounded woman. so I have said to myself, women and men shouldn't need to be trained to do things essential for a workable partnership unless it's just not in them. No one is perfect but still, why is it so hard to try to make the other person comfortable?

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    • Thanks for clarifying that you were referring to another chick because I got really confused for a moment.

    • Lol no it was made for the other comment in response to the guy's comment, but the other girl blocked me, which is odd lmao so I copied and posted it here to respond to his comment.

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What Guys Said 22

  • I don't understand your post. You are talking about people on the internet, not the dating scene... it's old news that people on the internet are pathetic!

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    • I like your comment because I agree with the part about the internet community being pathetic. But have you ever stopped to think that these people also inhabit the earth, so their thinking affects us on some level. In real life I do get slightly different interactions I must agree. I am called derogatory names, slut shamed and judged by men more than I ever do in real life. Men actually don't stand by a lot of their supposed standards and that's what makes me mad. Darling I have though it was the men from my culture because i do know I am far more advance thinking than many in third world country, but I have dated outside of my culture only to be disappointed the same, maybe better than men of my culture but hardly. All I know is I'm not settling, so don't care how many people want to assume I was dumped or no one wants me, because that's their defense mechanism to the truth.

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    • My friend had a long term relationship where she was abused, ignored, cheated on and there was no sex, she put me down a lot. Talked about me with other women and criticized me. It was from that time I learned I was different from most women. Girls and i never get along and over hearing their lives always sound very dull and reveals they are really satisfied with anything just to have a man. The honest truth is I get adoration, sex and attention out of men but nothing else. I am a well rounded woman and they never show me the gratitude I deserve. It is not who I pick because I face this with random men, even the guy next door is obsessed with starting fights with me so I stay inside. I think the majority of men fear being too happy, just look how many of them stay with women they have to cheat on. I don't get dumped, I am out off by their ways so I stopped dating. Having long conversation before we start dating still doesn't stop the preventable mistakes.

    • Anyway the guy from my teen year and I grew apart, I think his friends told him to break it off with me, but by then I was sick of being a doll he shows and and his lack of acknowledgment of my talent. We talked this year on Skype, he suggested marriage but I acted like I didn't hear him. He also admitted that he thinks men are confused and excuse me stupid. People will say I pick them wrong, he was an A&R from Sony music, matured man who was more comfortable around me than other men, so he did little dumb shit, he was more patronizing without realizing it. Guys on here don't come close to him and still display signs of a jerk in their responses even while accusing me of not picking good guys. I don't think men listen and that is why most men end up miserable. None of my exes are happy, they are the ones that came looking me up, they tell me these things and I can't hold it in any longer, there is a reason I am jaded but look at the men's responses, it's disheartening.

  • So you got dumped and became super bitter, iam guessing it has to do with you being an entitled prick who chooses the lowest quality of men she can find.

    you think men has nothing to offer or that we go for lazy women lol? you still have a lot to learn baby girl, first you need to be mature then start dating.

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    • You're 23 and I'm 30, nobody dumped me. But you're welcome to lean to your own understanding.

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    • lmao I am enjoying the hell out of this. Got anything more to say about who you think I am? I have already got what I need out of this post but go on. One girl said I had personality disorder and so did my exes. If I don't respond I am sleeping but go on because this is getting good.

    • iam glad iam entertaining you because obviously you have no idea how the world works

  • Well there goes more of my self esteem and hello more feelings of being more lonely than I already felt tonight.

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    • You are only 19, why would you feel lonely and bothered by love? You should be playing games and hanging with friends, if you have a girlfriend it shouldn't be serious but safe and a learning process for future relationships whether with her or another women more suitable for you. I am just saying we must work on ourselves before we desire someone else, or else we will be selfish and a burden. It is me that should be depressed, I am 30 and disappointed with no one to give what I have to offer, you can practice to be the man that won't lose out on her when she comes around finally, you have a lot of time left to work on yourself and surely aren't missing out on anything this young.

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    • I understand, but for every one guy there are like 10 women, you have a better chance to find and mold a good girl. Do not be afraid to speak your feelings, if she has a problem she's not the right girl. Make sure you're best friends and support each other, most of all respect is a must. Don't let her walk all over you but consider her feelings and needs, the over-masculinity is killing a lot of men, don't be like them. Groom yourself without falling victim to trend obsession and focus on productivity. Don't be forceful, be genuine and the right girl will come along. If you do all this and lose one, never feel bad for trying, it's their loss. I know men who lost good women and beat themselves up everyday, but pretend that they don't care or still shift the blame on her. I don't doubt many men on here have messed up but won't admit, so don't be disheartened, just be wise and on the look out.

    • That's what my plan is, just don't try and force something and if something pops up, might as well go with it.

  • Allowing corporations to sell matchmaking (eharmony, tinder, pof, okcupid, match, christianmingle, badoo, meetme, etc) really did a number on traditional real world meetups. Suddenly dates aren't even necessary to find out who a person is, the pictures posted on profiles have more impact.

    Good people get left out in the dark by a society more concerned with consuming love than appreciating it. Love is commoditized now, it's become akin to a human factory. Valentines day puts pressure on singles to jump into relationships, platforms like Instagram/Snapchat subliminally introduce motivationals or relationship memes in single people's feeds, bars/restaurants/clubs/taxis/dj's/salons/clothing companies/hotels/tourism all have financial interest in couples. Without couples, those industries would cease to exist or drastically have to change their form. There is a separate industry just for divorce which has a vested interest in relationships falling apart.

    Our media, entertainment, news, everything around us is telling us that being single means there is something wrong with that person. Society does not reward those who do not jump into relationships unless that person is single caused by their profession.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VsX6CZNwDY

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    • It's like, so now you have the knowledge... what are you going to do about it?

    • @vvn604 Watch as everyone else around me continues doing whatever they were going to do anyway.

  • lmao who dumped you babe.. didn't we have a good conv last time? why do u hate us men... we aren't all bad

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    • That is the issue of men they think they control a woman's worth. No one dumped me sweety. I've been single for fours years by choice and the more I talk to men, the more they turn me off. They don't show me why I should want them. The main reason I am single also is the internet, it showed me that they are all alike and it's disappointing. My internet interest and I stopped talking to each other because he does the same thing you ALL DO, stop defending trash and pretending to have standards. I am done because you're all so dense and hopeless.

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    • Happy you commented on my post?, there you go again thinking everyone needs online validation. Dude this is a place where no one addresses issues essential to personal growth, obsess over ratings and shame others for being comfortable with being alone. They exposed themselves on here by not having anything to say. What are they gonna say nay nah nah nay nah, I got a boyfriend, *****crying emoji bruh****. I tried to be nice and diplomatic but hardball is my game, so they got it. I've been clearing rooms since I was a kid. I don't care who likes me because I like everything about me and others are usually wrong.

    • lmao r funny way

  • Where is it written that a man has to be in a relationship?
    Where is it written that a man should want to be in a relationship?
    Feminism has turned the modern Western female into a toxic harpy, who is too legally dangerous to be with.
    A rational assessment of the way that the legal system has been stacked against men and the way that psychotic Feminist land whales attack men (cheered on by the majority of the rest of the female population) will lead a man to conclude that any form of interaction with women carries far too much cost and risk, for little to no gain.
    Men, invest in the manufacturers of cat food, cat litter, cat toys, dildos and prescription anti-depressants. There is going to be a boom market, when the graduates of Gender Studies courses hit the wall (about age 30) and realise that they were lied to by their lecturers and the Feminist movement.

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    • We should just forget about love and call it a day :)

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    • What are you talking about?

    • What I was talking about was "forget (ting) about love and call (ing) it a day".

  • Both genders a equally to blame for this. For the guys the sin has been to many drugs and to much porn. And for the ladies, the relationship killer has been to much feminism, to much alimony and to much child support. If you add it all up, it's no wonder that today's relationships aren't worth a tinker's damn

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    • But I don't think I would blame anyone for what's been happening. It seems to more like be just the way things have become.

  • Maybe you're just an almost 30 year old gas bag that's sad men are choosing younger women over you

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  • As a FT working single dad , dating is not something I will ever be doing again , too tired & stressed most of the time , so do not have the inclination. Equally , no woman will ever want a man in my situation. Even when my 2 are grown up , I will have got far too used to & being comfortable with staying single. I wonder if women & men are compatible at all , we are poles apart in most respects.

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    • single women with kids definitely would, and I'm sure some single women out there looking to get families would too

  • Well, I agree with your headline, anyway. I know there are some good women out there - I knew a lot of them in college, when I wasn't interested in a LTR, and was too shy anyway. But I have no idea where they went; I haven't met anyone interesting in what seems like forever.

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    • I had seen many good women too growing up, they are single, divorced and quietly being single moms sometimes. I am loud because it's who I am but they are out there. Many times they don't go out because they also are misunderstood and judged. They don't fit with a lot of other girls so you won't catch them at the club either.

    • I'm pretty much at a loss as to where to meet women anymore. Most places I go are either mostly male, or teenagers.

  • Okay first let me start by saying that I don't really know too much about, I'm 17 I think that's to be expected. Secondly, what do you mean by "people nowadays are lacking the skills for any type of relationship"?
    Lastly what you said about relationship material is true for me at least.

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    • I don't if this is how you meant to write this, but you seem pissed off.

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    • What do you meant by blah type of men?

    • Most men have no qualities, they waltz into relationship thinking their salary and penis will do. Work on yourself. Be a man she needs and feel lucky to have without being a doormat. Ask your mom she could probably tell you.

  • Dating sucks because I have to buy a woman dinner. I'd rather keep that money and buy a video game.

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    • ... that wouldn't be very nice but yes, you do have that choice too... but choices come with consequences... depends on which ones you're willing to bear...

    • @vvn604 I don't play video games, but his comment was funny and awesome. More power to him if he doesn't want to subsidize girls food bills.

  • Most women I meet have tats and been around more then I have. MGTOW all the way.

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  • I don't know mam. Your post just sounds whiny. You really think "men" are trying to shatter you? Are people trying to persecute you because you know your value?

    Really?

    I feel like I dated a woman like you long ago. She was really beautiful. She was a model. Anyway, it did not work out. And she sent me hundreds of texts messages about how I was not going to destroy her and she was a strong woman who didn't need disrespectful people in her life. It was just crazy.

    All because I came over to take her out and she was in her pajamas. So I assumed we were not going anywhere. I am a slow guy. So I didn't know if she wanted to have sex or go out or whatever. So I just talked with her for an hour or two and left. I figured it was not happening between us, so I told her I was not interested anymore.

    Maybe everyone isn't out to get you. Maybe some people simply have their own issues.

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    • Okay, I have hard stool and kinda hammered now, nice story but I'm over this post and far from whiny.

    • Well, if you think so. Just putting in my two cents. There is someone out there for you. It is just a matter of finding him.

  • Thats a pessimistic outlook. Many relationships and marriages do work and last a lifetime.

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  • Trash attracts more trash. That simple.馃槑

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  • You sound like you are fun on parties.

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  • Your picker is defective. Try again.

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  • yes it is

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  • The problem with most relationships arises from not being conscious of our own thoughts, being reactive, and being ego driven. Listen to what this guy talks about, I think this sums up the vast majority of today's relationships. But bear in mind this is just the very surface of the problems.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGVLjcVR4uY

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    • his voice is creepy and I know all these things already. I just think people have no idea what a relationship is about and just want to have someone for the sake of looking like they can have someone. Those who want derious realtionships have something to offer and have a reason to want a partner, we dump people a lot because they waste our time. It's hard to find a compatible love when you are a person of serious worth because they take and give zero.

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    • @vvn604 Also, when you become more conscious, others are often ''forced'' to bought out of their unconscious behavior too because you are no longer feeding their egos. Bear in mind that many of us think we are our thoughts, but we aren't our thoughts because if we were, we wouldn't be aware that we were thinking... so something else is aware we are thinking... watching our thoughts.

    • Yes, you do have a point in that choosing to not reinforce undesirabke behaviours would eventually reduce the frequency of them.

  • How does one over come being bitter once bitten. Are you bitter? Badness in relationships goes both ways. How do we make it better? Maybe we'll just be a generation of complainers and losers with no hope. Is this what it's come to? "I cook, clean, give bomb ass sex, funny as hell and look good fresh faced, make my own money" - Where I come from many other girls possess these qualities as well. So how does one compete? How does one stand out? How does one become special. You wanna be special right? I think the other girls do as well. Maybe the problem is the dating scene itself. And its very existence. Maybe the problem is having so many choices when some have none. One having so much reaching out at them at once - when the other is so lonely. I heard the old days were better. People stayed together longer. Most even stayed married. Maybe the problem is the "dating scene". Either way good luck.

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    • Well, choosing sex over love is probably the fundamental problem. Couple that boys trying to become men but don't know how because of dominant mothers then you get the desperate dating scene.

  • You didn't do nearly as good a job of masking your bitterness toward the male gender as I suspect you think you did.

    Let me summarize the facts that are the core issues women like you face with men today.

    - Women today offer far less value than women of the past, but they don't have the honesty to acknowledge it, to themselves or others. Your assessment of yourself is a great example of that. Odds are the men in your life would see you a bit differently. The fact is most women simply do not understand what is important to men and tend to over-estimate their value to the opposite sex.

    - Committed relationships, including marriage, are no longer equally beneficial to both men and women like they used to be. The rewards to men have decreased while the risks to men have increased. Combine with that the fact that men can easily get their sexual needs fulfilled outside of a committed relationship and you have a recipe for men turning their backs on commitment in general, and marriage in particular.

    - The best men (the ones women hold in highest esteem) tend to get married in their early to mid twenties, leaving women who are 30 or older in a position where they have a much harder time finding "the right guy".

    All of the above combined make for a condition in which women are left believing there are not enough good men to be found, which tends to manifest as the kind of bitterness we see in this MyTake. The fact is that what most of these women really need to do is pick up a mirror. But sadly, I suspect it is going to be a decade or more before the reality of the situation begins to sink in for most of these first world women.

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    • Okay, nice.

    • Well said. "I suspect it is going to be a decade or more before the reality of the situation begins to sink in for most of these first world women." - what I told my mom about what's happening with women in our society and how hard I had to fight to go against the current to establish the life I have right now - to complement men, not goi against. There's also a problem having women be in the workforce during their childbearing years.

What Girls Said 6

  • Miss being chased by losers, proposed to by losers, says nothing about your value on the dating market. I get chased by losers, many of my female friends who are far more beautiful get chased by losers, the ugly ones are chased by losers. And all the losers think they are quality. That really means nothing.

    But... What does speak about your quality is the number of quality men that come around. Sorry to say but if you only ever attracted losers, it's the same as never having attracted anyone. That's not a jab at your expense, many good women are right there with you... But it is to say that you may not be as high quality as you think after all and that there are women far above you in desirability.

    As far as your assessment on how losers think, how they asses women, how they are online etc... Respect, you're smart without a doubt.

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    • You sound mad, but goodnight to you. Women who talk like you are usually worried your man settled with you, so you take jabs at single girls so as to hide your worry that you are in fact not as great and no one wants you but him.
      Nothing you just said sounded amicable, just nasty and hateful, Funny I am not nearly as great as I think I am but get constant hatred and competition from women I don't even know.
      I am in fact amazing and I'm sorry that bothers you, practice proper diet, do your kegels, practice proper hygiene and be blessed now, one love.

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    • Define losers? Men with no drive in life to succeed?

    • @MrNameless Men with major flaws that tank their value to immediate zero. That can range from incorrigible loser who never worked a day in his life, to publicly known sociopath who hit his girlfriend and now women are walking circles to avoid him, it can be a physically deformed man who can't help a woman out in life, but can only become her child to care for, it can be a dude so stupid, it hurts to hear him speak, a guy so insecure, clingy and desperate, he gets jealous on the second date, is already confessing his love for you etc... Men who aren't just rejected because of chemistry, but far, far more. They are the types who will try anyone just to get a woman.

  • I've given up on dating period. It's all just fake ass bullshit.

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  • You seem a tad bitter

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  • I agree with almost everything you said :-).

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  • i gave up on it

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  • ohh hun you are one of those's
    you have no idea whats actually going on

    you are complaining from the stand point of no knowledge

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