I always stun people by admitting to rising on 45 but never going on one date in my life.
Eyebrows raise, smacking of bemusement when I accompany this admission with a past of bedding many women, and men.
The coup de gras being a 22-year long marriage.
Mockingly, they ask how, for it seems a case of the egg without the presence of the chicken.
My retort is living life courageously through direct and honest communication. In my mind, dating is time wasting, virtual dancing around feelings when there is so much to gain from expressing. The pursuit always smacking of an element of playing where there is a veil of facade cloaking reality.
Just think of every date you have been on, both parties dress to the nines, dust off their manners and charm and try to impress to the max. The time spent, occasionally flows joyously but is always like a job interview, where every part of you is subtly read, dissected, even interrogated making you feel hard to be yourself. Leaving you stressed, guessing, and second guessing as to what really is.
Hardly a depiction of reality where you can be yourself, in fact, it is unnatural and somewhat fake.
Why is it so hard to tell someone in a respectively direct manner that you like them, or if pursuing a more intimate time, you want them?
If the spark is felt, why not try to ignite it with eyeball to eyeball honesty, and live it out?
As natural as it is to me, it is quite the opposite to the majority. With them equating such brazenness as verging on intimidation rather than seeing it as a welcoming change from the status quo
They struggle to comprehend the appeal of statements like:
' I like you, and want to get to know you...'
' You turn me on, and I want to f**k you.....'
The latter always expecting a dismissive slap, rather than thinking boldness is a huge turn on.
The fear of rejection dominates, stymieing instinctual acts like this which on so many levels is absurd. People are always reticent, fearing 'no' which clouds their senses to the very real possible of 'yes'.
And while on the topic of rejection, is it that bad?
At least, you know and have wasted little time in trying to find out.
Conversely, if your boldness is welcomed and embraced, anything shared has a foundation of open and direct honesty which equates to sincere bliss.