Why Dating a Girl Who Reads is a Beautiful Experience

[That_Indian_Girl]

There are hobbies. And there's reading. NO!

Reading is just not yet-another-hobby. Books let its reader the life they have unlived, the dreams they never dreamt and the cries they never cried. I've always read that "Don't date a girl who reads because she'll have unrealistic expectations." But I'd say, as a girl, and a reader, why you'll be in advantage.

1. She'll be more understanding. While I'm not saying girls who don't read are any bad, but this quality develops unknowingly in readers. They go through life dilemmas of various characters, and that makes them more understanding about your problems.

2. You'll be constantly entertained. Sometimes she'd randomly throw a reference. Or speak a dialogue. Or anything. She'll never bore you, because she herself will be searching for interesting things.

3. She'll give you proper space. (Again, I'm not saying that non-readers are clingy.) She'll value the 'me-time'. Even if you spend your time hanging out with friends, she'll support it because she'll also be so dwelled in her books that she forgets the world.

4. She'll open up your persepectives. Readers can change your paradigm of life. Their perspectives are naturally more different than others. They'll tell you life ways you've never heard of.

5. And lastly, she'll be wild.

Because she has unrealistic expectations. Because she dreams of a perfect soulmate. Because she'll crave for a deep conversation.

[404filenotfound]

Look, I love to read too and so does my girlfriend, so I'm not saying this out of jealousy or insecurity or anything: the notion that reading somehow makes people more whimsical or more special strikes me as kind of childish.

Why put reading on some sort of pedestal, like it's still the middle ages where only the wealthy can afford an education? I'm sorry to inform you that, yes, reading is pretty much just a hobby. It doesn't make you special, it doesn't make you better than everyone else, it doesn't mean that you're more imaginative, it doesn't make you more entertaining and it definitely, does not, make you a more open-minded person. I know plenty of avid readers who are little more than brainwashed parrots.

Are people who have the qualities that you mentioned more likely to enjoy reading? Probably. But correlation doesn't equal causation.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Damn, bruh. I guess this it what it looks like when dudes keep things too real 😂😂😂

[UncleRayRay]

Nailed it

[Coolart123]

Are you try to say that reading doesn't do anything for anyone? Then why read? I get that your trying to say that someone can be open minded despite never reading a book but you're also saying that reading doesn't do anything. Which is false. In my opinion reading should be highly valued because of how they affect you emotionally, can further your understanding of others, and bring knowledge to your attention. The girl who wrote this probably shouldn't have written from a "this will happen if you date a girl who reads" standpoint but instead a "this could happen" stand point. you are also at fault because you are basically stating "this will never happen" which is wrong. you said "it [reading] definitely, does not, make you a more open minded person." To become more open minded you simply have to be open to new ideas. Arguably the most famous book ever written: the Bible. Does it not give people the opportunity to become open to the thought of a higher power?

[UncleRayRay]

@Coolart123 You missed his point. He isn't bashing reading, he is saying just because a person reads does not guarantee they will be a better or more open minded person. The OP made some baseless claims that a girl who reads is somehow inherently better than a girl who does not read regularly which is not necessarily true, though it may be in some cases.

No doubt reading is a path to learning, however it is on the individual to internalize and use what they read. For instance what if the girl is only really into reading French poetry or something. If she likes it good for her but so what if she can quote maybe a few lines, big whoop. Doesn't make her entertaining or even interesting, and certainly doesn't impart direct real world usable knowledge over say a survival manual or investing book.

[oddwaffle]

Brother you nailed it. I am an avid reader and no I don't find myself any cooler. I read roughly 1-2 books a week when I have to work and I can blast 5 books a day when I don't work.

[404filenotfound]

@Coolart123 I wasn't saying that reading doesn't do anything, nor was I saying that reading can't help someone be more open minded. The Author of the take was speaking in absolutes and I was merely saying that they weren't true. The fact that someone reads does not make them an open minded person; there are plenty of people that are brainwashed and indoctrinated by things that they've read and that alone is pretty compelling evidence that that statement is a fact.

I didn't once say "this will never happen" nor did I say that reading doesn't do anything, I said that it doesn't make you a better person.

And to answer your question, I read because I enjoy doing so.

[Coolart123]

The author was incorrect for writing in a POV that says someone who reads WILL have the characteristics of x, y, z. She should've said COULD instead.

You did practically the same thing but instead from the perspective of WILL NOT. Which is pain out not true.

You both are guilty of committing the same fallacy, a hasty generalization. Both assumed that because of either your own experience as a reader or from knowing a few other readers, that everyone else has had the same experience. Neither of you thought in your argument that it was possible that even just one person to have a different experience. Therefore Neither argument is valid.

by the way you never confronted my argument about how reading can make you more open minded.

Also reading can (not will) make you more imaginative. So to use Harry Potter as an example, your saying that a school for wizards won't open up your imagination.

"It does not make you more entertaining." You can read about juggling+show your friends=entertainment

[Coolart123]

Correlation doesn't equal causation, but that doesn't mean what's true for the minority is true for the majority or vice versa.

[Coolart123]

@UncleRayRay
I didn't think he was bashing reading. I was trying to say he was also at fault. Both him and the OP made baseless claims. Like I said they made hasty generalizations.

You my sir also fell in to the same trap.

Let's go back to your example about the girl who's into French poetry. You said that from reading those books it can not make her more interesting or entertaining. Those two things are completely matter of opinion, who's to say what is entaining and what's not? Musicals are entertaining for some people but not for others. So just because it's not entertaining for some does that mean that it's entertaining for none? No!

And as for real world useable knowledge, tell me have you read every French poetry book out there? I'm guessing you haven't. So how can you know 100% that it's a fact that she won't learn anything useful?

[404filenotfound]

@Coolart123 You didn't make a valid argument for anything, you just keep throwing assumptions around and telling everyone else that they're wrong despite the fact that you literally seem to be the only one that doesn't get it.

None of us are making generalizations, the whole point of my first post was that generalizing and speaking in absolutes about reading is a bad thing, so you've essentially been arguing with your own point the entire time, because I've been saying that from the beginning. You're the one making all of the assumptions that you keep accusing us of and I'm really not sure how to make you comprehend it at this point.

[Coolart123]

I still don't think you're understanding points. and I'm pretty certain that you keep ignoring my arguments because you don't want to admit that you were wrong...

[404filenotfound]

@Coolart123 No, you just keep ignoring the fact that I never said that reading can't open people's minds. And out of everyone that commented, the seventeen people that liked my opinion and even the OP, who gave me MHO, you're literally the only person that doesn't get it.

[UncleRayRay]

@Coolart123 You still don't understand what we are saying, and I get the feeling you are just arguing for the sake of arguing at this point so I'm done here

[RachelleDraws]

My girlfriend is a big reader. I agree with all the points, apart from the the 'unrealistic expectations.' I mean, she really doesn't like romance novels. She seems to like science fiction type books. She's reading a book called 'Worldshaker' right now.

[CubsterShura]

As a huge book reader myself, I can only tell you this: I noticed that in relationships, only a book reader can understand another book reader better and for me if a guy doesn't READ, no matter how hot or nice, u don't care. I rejected a hot guy for this reason once. I really feel like we won't click together.

But I did end up getting in a toxic relationship with a guy who not only conpared me with other girls but also told me about several female characters he read about in books (I read those books too), and he would be like, sigh I wish my lover was rather like her, indirectly telling me that I'm not good enough for him. -.-

But we did click in the first place. I don't need my guy to be a bookish nerd, but at least read some books!

[MikkiM]

Im not a total reader, but i do read ebooks,

To add up, not all readers do want to read romance or unrealistic stories

Reading books depends on the personality of a person

Like mine i do want to read life build up which could help me regain new knowledge

Traditional readers of books are aspiring to know that they can finish more of 500pages seeing a book physically with many pages makes me challenge and bored to read it

So i prefer ebooks so i won't care to look how many pages it have

[WhistleForTheChoir]

I'm a big reader myself (3-4 books a week level), so a girl who reads would be ideal. To introverts and book-worms like myself, that's a major bonus. But you wouldn't be making this myTake if we were the kind of guys whose attention you were trying to draw.

That said, most well-read, bookish women I know date "that guy": drunk, party boy with all the emotional depth of a sea urchin. In fact, most of the time, I would say that being a woman who reads is irrelevant to the men they actually choose to date. But that's why you made this status right. To get "that type"'s attention. They don't care that you utilize your literacy, they never will, you'll have to find another way to attract them.

[That_Indian_Girl]

No sir. You've totally misunderstood this.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

The whole take is encouraging men to date women who read, and it's clearly directed at men who don't read; i. e. it explains the benefits of reading to people who wouldn't understand those benefits. Spoiler alert! Men who don't read don't care about reading.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Or perhaps gay women who don't read. But same thing

[askmepleaseme]

I agree with this. People tend to be more sexually and physically attracted to people who are opposite to them, but stating that "those types" of guys are simply not interested or don't care is incorrect. Perhaps they don't show interests in books or reading, but they definitely show interest in the girl. For example, I hate football with a passion. I did cheer in high school and was very obvious with this, nearly gagging myself every time we had to go to a game. "What cheerleader doesn't like football games?" In any case, the football players are massively entitled retards who think if they throw a ball around a bit they somehow deserve a "hot" girl.

I ended up with one of these despicable jocks and he never, not once, forced me to watch football or like it or be with his friends. But I was so into him because of his passion for something I had absolute no interest in, and the same went for him.

[sovetskii13]

Those are some interesting points. I think the topics she reads about are what make the difference; not just the reading part itself. And that especially applies to the "Unrealistic Expectations" part. Her personality makes a big difference in how seriously she will take the material she reads about. It could make her wild and entertaining in a good way, but it could also be the complete opposite. Books will not define or easily change her personality. Still good thinking in this myTake though.

[slutsdontgetoral]

You are preaching to the choir. I married a prolific reader. She is a fan of fiction. Everything from Charles Dickens to Stephen King. I'm addicted to biographies of interesting people. Every night we read out loud together. On genre is crime dramas. My favorite Saturday afternoons involve her and I sitting on the couch on opposite sides with both feet touching. Each reading our respective books.

[tianarose]

I'm a massive reader and I have over 200 books in my room. But reading is just something I love. I don't throw random references at people because if that person hasn't read them than they won't get them? I'm not more understanding than someone else. And I'm not wild. Reading doesn't make a person special.

[Anonymous]

What about the people that mostly only read non-fiction or war stories. personally, I really enjoy reading memoirs or books about things that actually happen? I get that some people read the magical books that put them into a different universe, however that really doesn't make up the whole of all readers. And realistically, what you read doesn't change your expectations for the world for what it is.

[Owlinprogress]

Same could be said for me, as a TV-show binge watcher. But I think I agree with the one saying, it doesn't really make anyone special if they read or not. I find reading mostly just boring. But I would say I'm a very understanding person, and I always have something to talk about if it isn't boring small talk. I'll give him lots of space, as an introvert alone times is something I appreciate.

[Pomegranate139]

Guy: "hey baby can we have some sex?"
Girl: *hits with book* "go away! I'm reading"

[RedVulcan]

THIS APPLIES TO GUYS THAT READ AS WELL! I read frequently, and I can attest to those qualities more or less applying to me. I'd LOVE to date fellow bibliophile.

[Solanaceae]

Haha same <3 so obsessed with reading my parents banned from it. I'm gettin' withdrawal symptoms >.<

[RedVulcan]

@Solanaceae uh, now, there IS such a thing as obsession. Especially if your parents are more closed minded about this, you should try and have other hobbies or things to do besides reading.
I also worry about how reading is not something that can be done with a partner. Perhaps two people can curl up together and read the same book, but it's still a completely separate activity.

[Solanaceae]

Yeah haha I know. I'm obsessed. I do have other hobbies don't worry (e. g. tennis, riding, shooting, skiing, knitting, playing the piano and cello, embroidering, etc.) Reading just gives me a chance to escape from my life, which is amazing.

[RedVulcan]

@Solanaceae Ah, yes, that's good to hear. Other hobbies are important, as well as physical fitness. Good that a sport is another hobby.
What do you like to read?

[Solanaceae]

Anything. Literally. Today I had an English exam where I had to choose either a poem or prose to analyze and discuss. The poem was okay, but I was totally hooked by the prose. I sound like such a nerd haha. Anyways, I liked it so much, I found out where the extract was from and decided to put it on my ever-growing book list. I read anything from YA, classical, science fiction, historical fiction, and fantasy.

What about you?

[RedVulcan]

@Solanaceae I can tear through anything with good recall afterwards, but what I usually read are scifi, fantasy, Terry Pratchett (he defies genres), and philosophy.

[Solanaceae]

@RedVulcan Interesting

[linds34]

People who read books are usually much more intelligent than those who don't, which is a nice advantage :)

[levantine99]

Reading cultivates people. It makes you more human. A girl that doesn't read is such a bore to be around. As a man that doesn't read is... .

[hiphopbean]

Coz she lives in a Fantastic fantasy world, she's got unique and intriguing ideas, she's good in discussions, she's poetic and very artistic. <3

[TripleAce]

Love girls that read. There is something quite relaxing and calming to sit beside her while she reads

Also quite fun to bug her too when she reads lol

[JimRSmith]

My gal is a big reader, and a lot of this rings true.

[Asad1ONE1]

Wow sounds agreeable and sensible. I love to read as well. But my f*****g ADHD gets in the way at times of my enjoyment. I need a girl like that to emotionally connect with.

[BackAgain]

Glad someone appreciates it! Most guys call me boring

[wisdom_sharer]

Ahahaha, this is so funny. 😀 How old are you? Joke aside: I've never met a girl who doesn't read, by the way.

[likitb4istickit]

As long as she's hot she can be illiterate and I wouldn't care as long as she at least had the Kama Sutra read to her and treated it like it was her bible.

[Anonymous]

I love reading but this sounds like bullshit.
You aren't special because you're an avid reader. Believe it or not you really ARE like other girls.