How to talk to someone- Advice

Telling you my tips and all

Based on https://www.girlsaskguys.com/dating/a51158-better-an-oops-than-a-what-if

1-Starting a conversation

I like to keep it on the basic side and just start with a “hey”. I know I know, super exhausting. Feel the sarcasm lol

Moreover you can ask how they`re doing or make a compliment.

How to talk to someone- Advice

1.2-Get out of your comfort zone
I got asked: “I’m starting to wonder about dating. If and how I can succeed? How to not be awkward around girls? How to expand my comfort zone around them?” (Wait for the end for the succeed part)


Well dear in Germany we say practice makes perfect.

The first thing is to get started, the more you approach someone, the more you will get used to it and also the more you will get comfortable being out of your confront zone. The more you get rejected, you will learn to deal rejection, the more you talk you will get better at it.

With time you won`t be behaving awkward around others and even if, it won`t matter.

For me personally with time I started to see this as a game, I just talk to people out of fun and mostly It doesn`t turn out to be more but if it does, I`m actually always super surprised lol and then until now I got disappointed in the end. But well the game with luck goes on. Life goes on.

How to talk to someone- Advice

2-Body Language

Tells you mostly everything you need to know. Open body language is a positive sign, meaning they turn in your direction, get closer to you or touch you or face you. Closed body language is mostly if they have crossed arms, or a reserved body posture or if they keep a distance.

What I do if I approach someone is that I try to touch their arm and I do let my hand on their arm until I have finished my first sentence. Then I take it away, don`t want him to feel uncomfortable, also some guys don`t like that.

With that I`m kind of allowing the guy that he can touch me back and I won`t be a bitch if he does, because like I already did it first and also I use it as a test. If the guy during the conversation touches me back, or is open with his body language, I know he is also interested. If I see a guy being reserved with his body language, I try to end the conversation, mostly there won`t be vibe either.

3-Attention

I know we all get nervous and are already thinking in our head what we could ask next and what you could say if they ask you a certain question. Yeah we all have that. Stop it! Don`t. Concentrate on this other person and be in the moment.

You will miss out what this person said, when you`re busy in your own head. The person will feel that and will think you actually don`t want this conversation. That`s why I won`t give you tips about what you could talk about. You won`t be in the moment if you`re trying to remember a list of what you could say. Be in the moment. Be there and listen. Start with an easy Hi ask for they name. People feel better if you say they name. Make a compliment and see where this conversation will go. Concentrate on this moment and on this person. See if you both vibe with each other.

Talk to them. Be open and just enjoy it in the moment. You can do this! You have a mouth. Easy as that. The more you do this, the easier it will be. It`s really interesting to see what people you meet

How to talk to someone- Advice

4-Success

For me again, it’s not about success, I don`t start talking with someone and seeing them as a target, I start by wishing this to turn out into a good conversation and if that happens, great.

One step after another one. If you approach a goal, you mostly have to do a few things first before you reach your goal.

Don`t go in expecting this to turn into something. Don`t go in with a goal of getting the number or whatever. Talking to someone should be fun. Sometimes you find a new friend, sometimes nothing and rarely will it turn into something.

Just have fun and don`t break the law.

It can be really fun to just talk to someone. Normally. I personally have a lot of conversations. While sitting in the train, instead of being bored for 10 min or whatever I will start talking to strangers who I will never see again. And it`s fine. I had a nice conversation. Maybe someday I will be lucky. Who knows, we can`t see into the future, but we can enjoy our trip through life.

5-Love Yourself.

I know dating can be really exhausting and can make you feel really down. Don`t take a rejection to personal. Love yourself.

There are so many people on this planet, there must be a few that are right for you. We just have to be lucky. Until that love yourself and have fun, without hurting someone.


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melanieeeB is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Again, wonderful take :) Now that I think about it I kind of actually already do what you're talking about in this take. Meeting new people and just talking and getting to know them. It's pretty much the reason why I have such a massive amount of friends and acquaintances. Not exactly a usual case for someone with problems with this stuff, huh... 😂

    However, that's pretty much the only thing I get, friends, which I love getting, but... Anyway, most of the time I don't really know how to flirt or forget to even try, since conversing is pretty much a flow thing for me (I don't really think about it that much). Also, if I feel attracted to a girl and think she's interesting, it just changes the game for me. I'm unable to be casual anymore. I go instantly to awkward city, USA.

    I guess it makes sense that nothing happens, since I don't/can't show my interest in any way...

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    • One tip, just say it. Like you don't have to show someone they have interest or massively flirt. Once someone told me guys don't get hints, he said guys are like dogs they just don't understand if you give him signs. He told me I just have to straight forward say I like him, so that he gets the message. So that's what I do. I tell everytime hey I like you. And when I see they didn't get it , I will make it clearer by saying I like you a little more as a friend and I would like to get to know you. Honestly pretty scary to put yourself out like this, but again after a while it's not a problem.

    • *that you have interest

    • Ridiculously scary.. but I'll keep that in mind, if I can one day muster up the courage. That is certainly obvious..

      Oh and I can see the hints when they're directed towards someone else, but when they're directed towards me, they just go over my head.

Most Helpful Girl

  • couldn`t agree more. LIke it!

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What Guys Said 6

  • Great points (I hope lots of people benefit from this). Note also that even if you don't get someone's number, you can still feel good about yourself afterwards if you were able to hold a good conversation with them, i. e., it's a way to build confidence because you now realize that you're not going to, say, get laughed at or ignored and can now work on refining your approaches.

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    • This is on point. Learning to hold a conversation is very important, especially im this day and age, where people often replace direct interactions with social media

  • Sometimes I have success when I approach a girl, a lot of times I don’t. I think about it a lot. I don’t know the right thing to say or do just get a positive body language and success with her?

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    • There is not a right thing to say to make her fall for you or whatever. If the person is right you could talk so much bullshit, the person wouldn't care. It's not about what you say, it's more about how and also depends on the other person. It's pretty normal that it doesn't work out a lot of times tho

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    • Lol, all the responsibility and none of the fun 😂😂😂, jk (dont let them hear it)

  • Good take!, and 3 really hit home for me cause I always do that.. Think in my head what can I say next so the convo can stay rollin... Although I have my times when I flow, and can really connect wit a person, and then I have my times when I talk a lot.. LOL..

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  • As an introvert I find this myTake helpful, thanks and doing more like these would be much appreciated! :)

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  • I think this is a good take and i like the positive mindset you put in here 😊.
    Congrats!

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  • I’m still stuck on step 1.2... 😣

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