Love Doesn't Have to Hurt!

Love Doesn't Have to Hurt!

Often I hear my friends talking about the fights, drama, cheating, lack of affection, not enough communication and overall dis-engagement they face in their relationships. It is not new to me either, as I have had my fair take in relationship woes. But it wasn't until 2 years ago that I learned that love doesn't have to hurt.

Love Doesn't Have to Hurt!

1. You choose what you put yourself through.

If you don't like something, then change it. No one is in control of you. If someone doesn't care to change and make things work with you, via compromise- then it is time to exit the relationship. There are hundreds of different methods; such as counselling and couple's activities that can strengthen the relationship. If you tried what you could and things aren't clicking, it is up to you to decide where you want to go.

Love Doesn't Have to Hurt!

2. The Sunk Cost Fallacy.

The Sunk Cost Fallacy pretty much takes on the approach of how many people think, "I spent so much time, money, resources and effort in this 7 year relationship, that although I am not happy, I will not break up with my partner because of all of the investments I made." It could be based on the fact that you don't want to lose 7 years and have to start over, which can be scary. But 7 years now, versus the rest of your 60+ years of your life... does that makes sense to stay in something just because you invested so much? Investors may invest thousands of dollars into their portfolio, and one wrong move and they can lose a lot of money. You don't seem the dwelling and calling it quits after 1 transaction. They move on. Just like you should.

Love Doesn't Have to Hurt!

3. You allow people to treat you a certain way.

I am appalled when I hear my girlfriends being upset when their man treats them in a disrespectful manner, yet they are surprised. Howard cheated on my friend Angela. They have been together for 3 years and she loves him. After Howard cheated (more than once), Angela forgave him. Now Howard has the tenancies to not reply to Angela's texts for hours, or come home late drunk, or make Angela guilty over things that are actually his fault. Angela simply puts up with it. WHY? Well Howard saw that after the first few times of cheating, Angela was a push over and wasn't gonna walk away. So now Howard does as he pleases knowing that there will be no consequences. Whose fault is it? Angela allows herself to get treated this way.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are with someone who knows what it's like to be neglected, insulted, ignored, and rejected, hopefully they will know how bad all of that feels and not want you to feel that way. So they won't treat you that way. But if you get with a narcissist, who sees themselves above you, better than you, more attractive/desirable, etc. RUN. Now.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "We accept the love we think we deserve," is such a true statement. I've had to talk many a friend off the ledge when it came to their relationships because they felt that this was it, or that, as you've mentioned, they've invested so many years, and in once case, that investment was nearly 15 years. I just always ask a simple question... when you come home to this person, are you generally happy with your relationship. If the answer is yes---but or silence or I don't know... that's a million red flags. No relationship is perfect, but if you're so stressed out by that person, or they are literally hurting you, or you just don't feel joy being around them anymore, it isn't worth it.

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What Guys Said 10

  • No, the reason why women say love hurts is because they chose to be in relationships with jerks because they chose guys based on stupid reasons like height, popularity, witt, etc.

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  • Nice Take!
    I especially liked your third point.
    Love really doesn''t have to hurt if you set boundaries and dont give your full affection and love away to someone who hasn't earned it.

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  • I agree with it. But some things aren't so cut and dry at times. Especially when kids are involved.

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  • Wise badboy once said,

    When he tells you ain't nothing, don't believe him.
    And if he can't learn to love you, you should leave him

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  • Unfortunately women have a tendency to prefer douchey guys which ultimately makes them miserable.

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  • Love doesn't hurt as soon as you realise it's actually a temporary mental illness, and nothing more.

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  • It doesn't have to, but it often does, unfortunately :(

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  • I love my dog. That never hurts. Well, not until they die, our get stolen.

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  • it does hurt when 3 girls cheat on me

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  • my dick would disagree with you

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What Girls Said 0

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