Often I hear my friends talking about the fights, drama, cheating, lack of affection, not enough communication and overall dis-engagement they face in their relationships. It is not new to me either, as I have had my fair take in relationship woes. But it wasn't until 2 years ago that I learned that love doesn't have to hurt.
1. You choose what you put yourself through.
If you don't like something, then change it. No one is in control of you. If someone doesn't care to change and make things work with you, via compromise- then it is time to exit the relationship. There are hundreds of different methods; such as counselling and couple's activities that can strengthen the relationship. If you tried what you could and things aren't clicking, it is up to you to decide where you want to go.
2. The Sunk Cost Fallacy.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy pretty much takes on the approach of how many people think, "I spent so much time, money, resources and effort in this 7 year relationship, that although I am not happy, I will not break up with my partner because of all of the investments I made." It could be based on the fact that you don't want to lose 7 years and have to start over, which can be scary. But 7 years now, versus the rest of your 60+ years of your life... does that makes sense to stay in something just because you invested so much? Investors may invest thousands of dollars into their portfolio, and one wrong move and they can lose a lot of money. You don't seem the dwelling and calling it quits after 1 transaction. They move on. Just like you should.
3. You allow people to treat you a certain way.
I am appalled when I hear my girlfriends being upset when their man treats them in a disrespectful manner, yet they are surprised. Howard cheated on my friend Angela. They have been together for 3 years and she loves him. After Howard cheated (more than once), Angela forgave him. Now Howard has the tenancies to not reply to Angela's texts for hours, or come home late drunk, or make Angela guilty over things that are actually his fault. Angela simply puts up with it. WHY? Well Howard saw that after the first few times of cheating, Angela was a push over and wasn't gonna walk away. So now Howard does as he pleases knowing that there will be no consequences. Whose fault is it? Angela allows herself to get treated this way.