Give Cheaters a Break, You're Not Perfect! (Page 2)

[Nivinxus]

Here's the thing, I'm still going to crucify cheaters. Yeah you could be in a less than ideal emotional state but I've been there before and I've dealt with it without cheating while getting out of it. And if I could handle it, then they can too.

Your friend could've handled this better but instead she let her turmoil and desperation take control of her.

[steevo]

This is how a woman functions. It is all textbook 'young female behavior 101'.
Unfortunately young women are attracted to the 'bad boy', and they stay with him to cop his abuse, emotionally and financially. This is also what happened here.
A woman almost NEVER leaves a guy to be on her own, she leaves a guy ONLY when another one (better) is in her sights. It is called 'monkey branching' and that is what also happened here. Textbook 101.

[steevo]

I bet the next guy, the one she found at a bar!, the best place to find a guy with a drinking problem?, will a bad boy too, except he has an income.
Rinse, cycle, repeat.

[LittleSally]

*She didn't know any better...
Or did she?
Almost all of the kids I teach know what's right and wrong in a relationship and they know cheating is wrong.

How can a 21-year old then not realize cheating is wrong?
Don't justify your friend's actions just because you love her. People we love also make shitty decisions and adults own up to them.

[TisforTori]

They were both wrong. Not gonna pretend he’s not a total jerk. But also won’t act like this woman who allowed herself to be mistreated for several years was somehow excused to cheat rather than make the difficult but mature choice to end her relationship. That would be clear to all of us right?

[DeeDeeDeVour]

She should have dumped Tom first. Everything Tom did to her was good enough grounds alone to leave him. If she did, she'd be free to enjoy her life without guilt. Her ordeal's not justification for her "crime" which might become a habit if the next guy "does a Tom" on her too. Nonetheless, I am glad she left that relationship regardless of another man's existence. She definitely has to move on. I hope she truly learned from this experience.

[Tonga]

She makes mistakes too, while he did a bunch of bad things it may not be an excuse, she probably does feel like shit already tho I understand. If I were her I know it’s hard but id suggest she tell him the relationship wasn’t working well

But u are right as people we need pushers that help us not people who take us down, the less you feel understanded the worse it gets

[ryanrhino]

Unfortunately, in this instance, Carol should not have cheated, as it seems like revenge. She was hurt and wanted Tom to hurt. It is hard to make a hurting person hurt more, but if she was feeling the need for someone else, Carol should have ended her relationship with Tom before pursuing someone else. I can forgive her, but with difficulty.

[Kuraj]

Not this again.
Whether you do or do not do bad things matters nothing on whether you are a good person.
Knowing that you would never do bad things because they are bad, is what makes you a good person.

Your friend is despicable, and so are you.
(yes, don't think people don't remember your past rants)

[Anon-ymous1]

Using "despicable" here makes me think you have never met a person who is *actually* despicable, dude.

[fueledbythc]

there's no way to jusify cheating and stealing.

you're obviously extremely immature if you believe 2 wrongs make a right. This carol got on his level and nothing was justified. If anything carol became worse than scum.

there's never any justification on cheating. She could have left while still clean but no, she had to be a cunt. you're just as bad for feeling that you can justify cheating.

[CHARismatic110]

None of what Tom did justifies her going out and cheating. She shouldn't have even let it escalate to that point of that was the case. If she was unhappy then she should've left Tom's piece of shit ass where he was and moved on with her life.

[howlyz]

I agree, people are easy to judge others and are blind for the good things we are doing all the time. What she did shouldn't be called cheating if this story is real, which I don't doubt. She is cheating on her self if she stay with such a person, that's not cheating what she did if the story is true. Get your friend out of that relationship

[OpenWine]

oh really that's the girls fault for staying with someone like that. and to not cheat in my eyes there's only a text under 2 minutes required.

and most of the time when people cheat it's because of nothing really so it's common sense.

this one you mentioned is a special case but still she drove the same path as he did and it could've been otherwise.

[DairyCow]

Carol obviously wasn’t happy. Carol should have just left him instead of getting that black on her morals forever.

[Catholicgirl22]

The old saying applies "forgive but don't forget".
I personally would never be with a guy with a history of cheating and I wouldn't want a female friend who cheated around as I dont think she's trustworthy.

[DumbandDumbber]

Tom his problems are an issue on it's own, so is your friend's cheating.

She should have just left him and then started seeing the guy.

[amandaschwartz]

You're right, and i do agree with that. I just hate the fact that a nasty person is deemed as innocent, meanwhile a person who has been nothing but understanding - makes a mistake (by sleeping with another guy) and she is looked at as a terrible person. I mean to make cheating out to be as something so bad, in comparison to the other qualities of Tom is mind boggling to me. I don't condone cheating.

[DumbandDumbber]

I can see why you are upset, maybe those people don't know the full story like we do? Both have done some things wrong, I'd personally say Tom his actions are way worse cause you don't treat people like that when they have cared for you. But the girl made a big mistake too, just not as big.

How is the now tho?

[Benedek38]

Is killing justifiable? We should just give murderers some slack. My neigbour is really annoying, and I'd kill him if I was allowed to.

This myTake is pathetic.

[Comawhite666]

No there's is never excuse for cheating. She should have left when he started stealing and stood up for herself then and not keep deceiving herself that things were going to get better..

[Streamhopper]

Should have left him before cheating. Simple enough to do, and clearly what she wanted/needed in her life at that point. Cheating was an enabling excuse for the breakup.

[MrMAC777]

Even though Tom is a jerk, and he pushed her into the bad decision, she should have left him, period. Moving on is one thing, cheating is another. Giving someone good reason to cheat is opening Pandora's box so to speak. Single people can't cheat.

[musical_kittycat]

Thank you so much for this myTake. It changed my perspective completely of some cheaters. Tell Carol that she has so many supporters here at GaG and that we believe in her too.