My good friend Carol recently told me about how she ended up cheating on her boyfriend of 4 years... before you judge please hear me out. I am tired of seeing cheaters being crucified on this website. So I have decided to leave you with the moral compass and assess whether being a cheater is the worst thing that you can be? A one time occurrence of making a bad decision by a good person, versus a nasty person who has spent years and years creating hurt to those around him.
Carol's boyfriend Tom did a 180 in the first year of their relationship. It started with his drinking and emotional abuse. Carol was 21 and didn't know any better. He was her first love, and she gave him her heart and virginity. Although I told her to leave, she insisted that he was gonna change. But he didn't. He broke her self esteem and he broke her down over 4 years.
Tom's parents got divorced when he was a baby. His mother got sick with cancer, and because of his hate for her, and his personal bias from his father, Tom didn't visit his mother once. Not a call, a card or a visit. She would phone Carol and beg her to ask Tom to come see her, but he refused. Carol would plead with him, asking him to reconsider as his mother raised him as a single mom. Tom simply said "I don't care". She passed away a year later.
The fourth year into the relationship Tom lost his job. Carol was supporting them both, and was shocked to find purchases made on her credit card for a TV, video games, and a new speaker. She asked Tom and he apologized. It wasn't only until the next week that she noticed money going missing from her wallet, and her jewelry disappearing. But he denied it all...
Towards the very last bit of it all, that pushed Carol to another man's arms, was seeing Tom's activity on social media. From commenting on different girls' pictures, to sending them messages, to pretending that he was single, Carol lost her mind.
One evening Carol went out for drinks, and met a guy. He was nice to her, as she describes it, and it wasn't long before she wasn't thinking and let things happen. She did what she did, and confessed to Tom. They broke up, yet everyone around her, including Tom and their mutual friends make Carol out to be the enemy... but I won't have any of it.
YES cheating is wrong! But Tom stole from the only person that was there for him when he had nothing, Tom abused and broke down the only person that loved him year after year, Tom made other women feel special and created pain in the woman he claimed he loves... and this is all ok?
Tom created even more pain for a person that raised him for the past 18 years, by denying her the support and affection from her own son before her death. Just to think about the amount of pain that Tom has caused over all these years? And yet Carol's mistake is unjustifiable? Yet she is the person that is despicable? I don't think so.