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Do Women Have Unrealistic Expectations For Men? (Page 2)
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Great take! I mean, it is okay to have basic standards, but it is not okay to have ridiculously high standards and then complain about not finding anyone like you said!
I only have one expectation for relationships/men which is to give me what I give you. If I am devoted to you, you have to be as equally devoted to me or the relationship won't succeed.
so here we have a church-going guy . who hates dating . who goes to bars .
and turns down girls who approach him to buy him a drink . and he comes away
from that bar thinking women have unrealistic expectations for men?
sounds pretty freaking absurd to me . maybe he needs to talk with his pastor .
NOTICE: he said "recently" he has been turning them down. Because "previously" they have had ridiculous standards.
It says that right near the beginning...
@Prankster13
so at the top he says . 'The other night, I was at a bar' . even though . 'It has recently
dawned on me how much I hate dating' .
sorry and no offense . that's a weak argument and defense .
You may not know this. I guess. But SOME people don't just go to bars to hookup. They go to drink. That's what they are supposed to be for after all. 🙄
@Prankster13
you are only speculating why he goes to a bar . just to have a drink?
he could do that at home or at a friend's place . but one can only wonder
why this particular guy . who has hostile and negative views of women
would go alone to a bar where women also go to drink . and put himself
in close proximity to women he detests that further fuels his attitudes against them? .
seems pretty sociopathic to me . but that's pure speculation on my part . cya .
Um... So I'm sorry. Did you want me to address your speculation with non-speculation?
Okay bye.
At times they do. They want to be independent and self-sufficient yet get angry when a guy does not get the door for them or make the first move. My momma taught me that equal rights include equal responsibilities. unfortunately, the equal responsibilities have reverted to old sexist ways where men are expected to do all these things for women.
One of the biggest reasons it has reverted is guys like you that tell the women NO when they try to take on equal responsibilities. Are you really that sexist that you cannot tolerate a woman being independent? It is 2018, not 1952. We should feel free to open the door for each other and not be expected to because of what is between our legs. Just think, you might have crushed that poor woman when you did not accept her drink or number, get real, you should be thankful that they tried to do these things for you.
Good take, but
2. I agree with that chicks should not compare with the past guys, but I don't think she should date a guy she thinks is corny, whatever the reason. Would you date a corny chick, even if she could be a great mother to your kids? I wouldn't, because the kids happiness isn't the only happiness in this thing.
3. I don't see how having man muscles is being built like a girl.
But still, reason they like looks is because all humans want to make kids with the best mate and looks is the obvious method of seeing if they have the best genes. It's not universally true, but humans are going to human.
This lines up with my experience with women exactly.
And they wonder why I am not confident enough to approach them...
which, by the way, is another standard (that I have seen).
Confidence isn't even a bad standard. I mean it's good to want someone who isn't always self conscious about how they look and stuff.
But when a girl says "You must be at least 6' tall. Must be perfectly in shape and buff. Must always know just what I want you to say. Must have a job and make at least twice what I do. Must always be dressed in exactly my taste of clothing. etc...
... OH-- and he's got to have confidence in himself!"
How the FUCK am I supposed to be confident when trying to meet standards like those? ? ? 😭😫
As far as I can tell for the most part they want someone with
- A job, some ambition to be good at life.
- Taller than they are (lol most men are).
- Doesn’t suffer from any mental disorder.
- Can wash and dress himself with some style.
Is that REALLY too high of an expectation?
You clearly don't know many women.
@HikerDude As always when guys think girls have unrealistic standards, they should do two things.
1) Go out in the street sometime. Observe if every male who has a female companion is a towering god of a man.
2) Look closer to home, what is your own dad like? 6'5, 7 figure salary, philanthropist and father of the year candidate right?
If you honestly answer yes to both questions, then you're going to need help. If you answer no to either one, then it completely disproves the point that standards are unrealistic, because the global birth rate suggests completely otherwise.
@Cosytoasty thank you.
Global birthrates have nothing to do with American mating habits. In fact, the birthrate in the US isn't even replacement level, so that argument fails.
There's research that shows that most American women find the vast majority of men unattractive, on the order of 80% of us. Female attention is increasingly focused on the top guys to the exclusion of all others, which is why there are so many single people in the US who paradoxically remain single. The standards you listed and suggested are sufficient will actually get you a nice "so?" from most women.
by the way, my dad is an NFL alumnus, so you do the math.
@HikerDude Again, if you believe this is the case, go out to whatever shopping district/mall that is popular with your city and take a picture and post it back here... i want to see all these top 20% men you speak of lol.
And if your dad is ex NFL... wtf happened to you?
In reality I don't see that many couples of any stripe out in public. And the couples I do see are well matched. Not a whole lot of dweeby nothing guys running around with models like many people seem to believe.
Wtf happened to me is that I'm a former sponsored athlete, so I got some of his athletic ability but none of his sociopathic tendencies. I'm just not a white knight when it comes to dating.
@HikerDude So we're in agreement then, most couples are well matched. Top men/women, average men/women, bottom men/women. *many* women can't possibly have that high standards if you see average and low couples around.
I mean, describe the girls you've dated, they can't ALL have been bad?
No, I'm saying that I don't see that many couples at all, and the ones I do see are two generally attractive people. What I see is that girls increasingly have high standards, even girls who don't have that much to offer. They focus on the top guys, but this ironically makes top guys even less likely to settle with any single woman.
Lmfao because men have just as unrealistic standards for women. And their number is much more than girls.
So many women got downvoted for calling guys out on it 😂
There are girls who have realistic standards but none of you guys would date them because they don't fit your high standards.
Talk about hypocrisy.
1. Didn’t down vote you
2. You’re drunk and a virgin, go home.
dude men just want a girl who respects them and emotionally supports them. and some sex. men's standards are way lower. the average male's at least. thats what i deducted from all my conversations/slash confessions from male friends.
Yeah uh most dudes will more than settle with what the lady said. Emphasis on most.
@levantine99 and @Schrodingerscat looking at the two views, there must be a regional difference.
Also @Schrodingerscat if a woman wants to date but never approaches a guy, does she simultainously date and not date?(pun about your username if I didn't word it right).
@shephardjhon 42
It's funny how men complain that when they try and meet women they get turned down. Yet some women tried to meet you and you turned them down without even knowing anything about them. WTH? Seems like you are the one with high expectations that no one will ever meet.
or he just already was in a relationship and wasn't interested. Or could even be he doesn't want a relationship. Nothing about turning down a woman who approaches you inherently means you have unrealistic expectations. Some men complaining about one thing doesn't imply this particular person is part of that group, nor is it necessary for him to have any expectations at all for him to turn someone down.
If you turn down a man who approaches you at a bar, does that mean they didn't meet your expectations? Not necessarily. It could, but it's not guaranteed. You could just as easily not be in the mood to meet someone at that moment. Would those men be justified to tell you your expectations are too high purely on that interaction?
This is only true about some women. A normal woman would date a man who’s on her level. It seems like most women (usually guys pretending to be girls) on here are the opposite of this because they have very low expectations for men. I think it’s time for me to make a joke out of this. How to date a girl on GAG: meet her in real life, ask her out (they’d mistake that for confidence), try to be funny (they’ll laugh anyway), give empty promises about your ambition, and be a nice guy (they value that over everything else).
- 10 out of 10 guy
You do realize that you don't choose to what body you're attracted to, and that there can't be a relationship without a physical attraction right?
And yes, I want a man with six pack. It's something possible to achieve. I, however, can't enlarge my breasts with gym or wider my hips
Good luck finding a man. You'll need it.
@AbrahamTheLincoln no she doesn't lol. She's gonna do fine. With or without large breasts or hips.
Sucks, men don't choose what we are attracted to. If we like wide hips and big tits, with a small waist then that's what we want.
Abs are possible, I get and loose them occasionally, height is not. No matter how much I exercise, I will still be 5"2.
Can guys make themselves taller? It's been proven that girls are attracted to height. And why the fuck would you want to widen your hips? SLIM hips are what's attractive, not the opposite. Have you been watching too much Kardashians or something?
@Anon-ymous1 The fact that you like narrow hips doesn't mean that most men do. Most men like hourglass shape, not rectangle. And trust me when I say this, short men but with really nice muscled body still attract a lot of girls
I know more about what most guys like, as a guy, than you do. Sorry.
*as a guy myself
@Anonymous Working out does not help if you're a short man. I'm 5'4", 130 lbs and can bench about 250, squat over 300, do ab work-outs for a half an hour without a break. Women STILL assume I'm weaker than my friends, their boyfriends, just whoever is around. Just the other day a buddy's girlfriend said in response to a jab from SOMEONE ELSE, "Shut up! I'm really skinny, I think all of you could probably lift me up, well except (my name). He's so tiny." Women TEASE me for working out, because it's "useless" for me, as if impressing them is my only reason to work out. Women just aren't attracted to short men, and that's okay. I'm no more entitled to finding love, than I am to being tall.
A lot of people's assumptions about what men actually find attractive here on a subconscious level is really wrong too. For example, did you know that women who are rated most attractive more often than not have long, shapely arms. Not even a trait I would think of, but it's true.
www.standardmedia.co.ke/.../why-women-hate-and-can-t-date-short-men
@SaintJonesy Yeah man. I hear you. I'm sorry to hear that.
Dear God, YES! Women across all demographics desire the same thing "Tall, Rich, Handsome." Genetically it's understandable, all women want the perfect mate but the hard reality is that is 1%-3% of all men. Most men are not 6'+, most men do not earn $100k+, and most men are super good looking studs. Women were once less concerned about money and looks, and more concerned about find a stable provider and loving husband & father, but with the advent of Social Media, Dating Apps, Lifestyle TV Shows, and Modern Feminism, many women have delusional exceptions and standards of men. If a woman's goal is to find a stable man that will love her with all his heart the world is literally filled with them, the vast majority of men are good dudes, but if a woman is focused on "Tall, Rich, Handsome," get in line because MILLIONS of women are competing for a TINY percentage of men.
Well, i think your writing style is kinda rude, but i can agree to you that some of us (including me few years ago) have bit much of expectations in the looks department.
I thing i want to point out though, for myself i do know when i love a guy and when i just want to have him in my bed. Problem is when you can't separate these.
I would love to point out how accurate and detailed this well rounded view has taken. But that would take a really long time.
Instead I shall sum up the underling theme to this by saying "Regardless of your grandeur vision of perfection, the truth of time will wipe away the map to Eldorado. Simply put, your idle will not last as long as you think.!"
Goddamn you went out and rub it in their faces and it's very well written. Well done.
I'll just say it's always been like that. Women are hypergamous but it is until now nobody puts them limits to their hypergamy so they have unreal expectations and feel entitled, despite not giving much in return.
"But in the meantime, baby girl, you’re not even half the things you have on your own list of standards?"
Bingo. Someone posted another question on GAG recently about a Meghan Trainor song in which she gives her 78-point list of demands for what her future husband must be. This is a fat girl with average looks and an unpleasant personality demanding traits that might exist concurrently in about 8 men now living. But Fat Meghan Trainor demands all that before she will consider marriage. Right.
so what you are saying
1. men aren't just like women in personality, so don't expect him to be a girlfriend with empathy skills.
2. girls don't know what love is, because they think love is a boy ignoring them
3. men don't look like women, and women shouldn't treat men like a women oogling him... and wanting him to have certain physical attributes.
That's the extremely generalised version but i think that bout sums it up.
The second standard of this Take really hits home with me! I know how it is to be a "golden boy" type (as in being the 'perfect role model' kid) while in middle/high school, and somehow being shunned by your female peers.
I just had to accept, that some of these gals are just broken and aren't attracted to good boys/men. Ah well, it's their emotional grave they are digging themselves.
I feel the same. Were you raised by religious parents?
@BigJake yes I had religious parents. I wasn't a complete failure with girls in high school, but I was no means a "popular" dude with the gals.
Yeah, same here. I was raised in a Southern Christian home, and I will say that that doesn't prepare you well for dealing with dating and girls. You learn a lot of things at home that you find out later aren't widely respected by other people.
@BigJake yup, we both had to learn some edge, which can only be done amongst our male peers.
Thanks for the take but it's futile. Women will set all sorts of criteria for a mate while the guy who could make them happy is right under their nose. The loudest most aggressive guys usually get all the attention and the girl. They also tend to be the biggest disappointments. And the cycle repeats itself over and over again.
I didn't bother reading all of it, just another whiny post about women that will get you no where. I suggest you go to a gay bar next time instead. Go get a guy then you won't have to rant about your unrealistic expectations of women.
Uhh that's what this site is for tho. What you just typed is kinda stupid sorry sweetheart maybe next time read it all and then use whatever brain power you have left?
@Shyguy2001 Lmfao
Like reading some bullshit rant here is using brainpower! LOL I'm sure this is intellectual reading material for a kid like you.
Oh come on you hear women whining all the time about guys expectations and how they don't fit them.
Mad at what he said; ridicules him for his age. Classic! Perfect ad hominem.
Women day dream about having the perfect this and perfect that. I consider myself a successful guy about to finish law school, I love to communicate, I cook good food, I’m funny, I consider myself decent looking but no success on dating apps.
Dating apps are the worse because girls are expecting Prince Charming on those things. I’ve realized, screw the dating apps, just approach girls in person and hope for the best.