Do Women Have Unrealistic Expectations For Men?

I just wanted to share my viewpoints as to why many women--NOT ALL WOMEN, but many women--are unrealistic about their standards for men. I'm going to be very raw and very real; because I'm hoping that this eventually helps somebody.

The other night, I was at a bar and a girl asked me for my number and I said no. I've noticed I've begun doing this a lot. Before this at the same bar a woman sat beside me and offered to buy me a drink and I politely said, "No thanks," and left. It has recently dawned on me how much I hate dating. And the reason I hate dating is because I honestly just can't deal with women's expectations. In my experience (My experience, I'm not saying every woman is like this) it has been like dating perpetual renditions of Goldilocks. They want me to be, think, and behave "just right" so as to meet this image of an ideal man that they have. I’ve met women at bars, out while shopping, at the gym, at church, you name it; and this phenomenon is almost universal. And these women have been such a valuable lesson for me, because what I’ve learned from them was that many women don't just want a "good man." What they’re really wanting are these standards or ideas of what a man is supposed to be. But these standards ARE NOTHING LIKE WHAT MEN ARE! These standards are not realistic. They aren't reality. For who men are, how we think, what we value, this preconceived notion of how a man should be is quite foreign.

Do Women Have Unrealistic Expectations For Men?

1st Standard

MEN ARE NOT WOMEN! Ladies, a guy isn't going to be a best friend like your girlfriends. So if you're expecting a prince charming that's so sensitive and so everything like your girlfriends then you're already set for failure. Honestly, we may hurt your feelings quite readily but it's not because we don't care, it's because we’re human and aren't perfect. I remember a girl showed me a picture that read, "....No Man Is Worth Crying Over, And The Perfect One Won't Make You Cry...", and while that's really poetic, it's unrealistic, because even your parents will make you cry, and they love you very much; it's their job to love you!

Do Women Have Unrealistic Expectations For Men?Include a caption for your image…

2nd Standard

A lot of women seem to get their standard of a man from many of the boys they've dated. Many women seem to compare good men to the boys they experienced previously who were, in no way, ready to commit to anything. Ladies, there is a DISTINCT DIFFERENCE between men who are relationship material and these boys that you've messed around with for years in what I call "SITUATIONSHIPS." And consequently, now you’ve adopted this standard for a man based on these dudes who nothing more than just fun. And now when a man comes along, you may say

"...this guy's too corny...." ".....he likes me too much..." "....he texts me too much..."

And Sherlock Holmes is shouting, "Of course girl! The dudes you've been messing with didn't text you right back, because they have 8 more just like you!" And so when a man comes along and is actually crazy about you, you suddenly don’t know how to handle it! A guy who genuinely likes you, who's legitimately interested in you becomes the guy you've--and I hate to say it--friend-zoned! At one point I remember having 8 girlfriends at one time. Every one of them thought it was just me and her; but that wasn't the case at all. Even now, I still only remember two of their names. I was that dude! I was a boy! I didn't call them. I didn't really even care about them. But they thought I did. And now that I've grown up a little, it’s actually sad 1) that I was like that and 2) that they found my apathy sexy!

Do Women Have Unrealistic Expectations For Men?

3rd Standard

MEN DO NOT LOOK LIKE WOMEN!!!! We aren't supposed to look like women! I get the wrong kind of attention from women all the time. I get numbers, I get girls asking me to have sex (It’s supposed to be the other way around) . I get girls who want to feel my chest. I get girls that buy me drinks. LADIES, let me be clear. Girls' YOU ARE THE FAIRER SEX!!! If you're wanting a pretty boy who's got a 6-pack and stays in the mirror more than you; he may have other girls feeding his attention than just you! So women who have a standard based on visuals, rethink your standards. You're the fairer sex, you're the gorgeous one, you're the one men go to war over. You're the one we try to make all this money to impress! Quit telling me they’re pretty. Quit feeling up on their chests and abs in public. Quit looking to see if they have a man bun. Quit this, "Is he 6'3?... Does he look like Tom Brady? Does he look like David Beckham? Does he look good in some Slim-fit?..."

Do Women Have Unrealistic Expectations For Men?

Listen baby girl, Tom Brady is married to a super model. The last time I checked, Beckham was taken too. These men are such a small percentage of the population. Do you understand that for a man to be over 6'2 is less than 3% of the population???? We're talking all men, around the world! Less than 3%. Less than 14% if we're just talking America. That includes all the men who are broke. All the men who are married. All the men who are in prison! Less than 14%. So you're sitting here like--

"Oh, he's gotta be 6', he has to have strong cheek bones, he has to have six pack, ..."

I remember trying to set my friend up on one date with a girl I knew. The girl had gone on and on about how she didn’t want to be single. She said she wasn’t looking for a guy to be perfect, just intelligent, kind, and down to earth. People, let me tell you, if any guy to bring home to mom, it was this kid. He didn’t swear, he didn’t call girls the B-word, he didn’t smoke, he was nice to his mom, he was in shape, he was smart. But when I ran it by her she said, “Eww, I would never date him. He’s scrawny.” I was like, “Girl! I just freaking went and found you a damn ½ Mr. Rogers, ½ Bill Gates clone! Are you serious! He’s too scrawny?? Then buy a damn dumbbell set!!!!”

It’s like today men have to be perfect, but the problem is SWEETHEART, YOU’RE NOT EVEN PERFECT!

Ladies. I’m all about self-worth and not settling. But don’t completely supplant self-esteem for common sense.

“I know what I deserve! I’m not going to settle!”

Men have fantasies too, but typically separate fantasy from real women
Men have fantasies too, but typically separate fantasy from real women

But in the meantime, baby girl, you’re not even half the things you have on your own list of standards!!!?????? What??? You yourself aren’t even half of what your own standards, and yet you require that in a man? Sweetheart, you better find yourself a build-a-bear or something, because your standards are standardizing you right out of the game!

You might have issues and even more unresolved issues. You might be bossy. You might have a temper. You might not have a great body. You might not look good in the morning before you put on your make up. You might have a small bust size. You might have a big waist. You might have fat in places a lot of men don’t like. You might go out with your girlfriends in a sexy dress completely submerged under make up, powdered and glossed to the peak, and it might make you feel like Beyoncé or Gisele; but you’re not her. And maybe a lot of guys don’t want to be around you long-term. You might run everybody away because of your attitude sometimes. You think you’re so much the IT that it’s almost like you’re vain and stuck up. AND MEN DON’T LIKE IT! And you wonder why you can’t keep a man?

You might have to Build-A-Man
You might have to Build-A-Man

Instead of going to build-a-bear, you need to find a man who meets your requirements in CHARACTER and VALUES. Look for things like Lifestyle, Goals, and Vision. In a relationship, you should have high expectations of the other person because you're considering spending your life with that someone. But if you’re going to demand something, then make it a reasonable demand. Don’t make your demands easy, but goodness, at the very least make them attainable.

(I realize many women may say, "Hey, men have problems too." And that's true, but this post isn't titled ...And The Problems Men Have Too... This one is about women, a topic about guys is going to require its own My Take to just break the surface of our issues)


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Most Helpful Guys

  • I mean... women kinda do look at lifestyle, goals, and vision... More than they do physical appearance... Women are much less physical and visual than men are. Women are much more mental. All they need is a connection.

    Really, in this sense, women have significantly less standards than men. They have higher standards in pretty much every area other than physical attractiveness. But, I mean, not unreasonable standards, in my opinion, considering their nature. Generally speaking. Certainly some do, but to say "many", I feel like you got the shit backwards, bro.

    And, I mean, yeah, if a dude has a smoking hot body, why wouldn't a woman like it? It's not like they *expect* that, in general. Shit, you remember the disgusting "dad bod" craze? Women saying that out of shape mess was attractive? Doesn't exactly go hand-in-hand with what you're saying.

    1st Standard: A man can easily be an emotional rock for a woman. And if he sucks at it, he can get better at it. I don't feel like that is an unrealistic expectation. Wanting to have your *partner* be there for you? What is so unrealistic about that?

    Or is it the "never make you cry" thing? Sure, that would probably be unrealistic. But is this a common thing? I feel like you're talking about.0005% of the female population, instead of "many women".

    2nd Standard: It's true that indifference kinda turns women on. And that can be frustrating, for sure, when you really like a woman. But this is actually women wanting men to have standards. If a man goes head over heels in two seconds, he's just like a bunch of other men who do the same thing. "Oh, another guy who is just falling for the first woman who stumbles across his path, ready to accept anything and anyone--not me, specifically. He'd take anything."

    This feels like the "women don't like nice guys" complaint. Yeah. Why would they? Nice guys are usually only nice, because they expect to be rewarded for being nice. They're not being nice, just because they're nice. They're being creepy and entitled.

    3rd Standard: I kinda already covered this one. Women are faaaaaaar less physical or visual than men are. Shit, I'm jacked, myself, and I get plenty of women who say they're not into it. And, I'm grateful for the ones who *are* into it. Takes a shitload of pain and work and dedication. I don't condemn them for liking an aesthetic body. I don't get why you are.

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    • Ha. You based all of this off this video, didn't you? She says basically exactly what you're saying. Even uses the term "situationships" and "f-boys" and "They have 8 more just like you."

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6ONHDmDD8s

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    • @JSPlasmo1 And you know why women find 80% of men unattractive? Because of what I said. Women don't care nearly as much as men do about appearance. They care about character traits. Namely if a guy has balls.

      Another difference with women and men is that women's perception of whether a guy looks attractive or not can *change*. A man's cannot. Women's perceptions of a man's physical attractiveness *changes* based on how he treats her.

      So yeah. Maybe women, by default, find 80% of men unattractive. But, just because she doesn't find you attractive doesn't mean she isn't capable of finding you attractive.

      Don't make excuses. Find a way to win.

    • You are correct that a Womens perspective can change, but so do Mens. Also, this Data is based off of Dating websites, including sites like Tinder. What it shows is that Women rate 80% of Men as unattractive based purely off their looks, not their personality. As for winning, you can definitely win, but be careful of your choices.

  • TLDR - didn't need to, cuz the answer is, 'yes, of course'.
    Their entire life they've been told some prince is going to swoop in and sweep them off their feet. Even disney got into this shtick.

    Next, since they could talk they've been told how pretty they are, how special, and that they are way more deserving and entitled than any boy. Period.

    And all of their life they have been told that they 'deserve to be happy'. Newsflash baby, you deserve NOTHING. You get what you get for the effort you make, what you work for, just like everybody else.

    Consequently we have this whole flock of entitled princess snowflakes that think they deserve more and are simply not going to settle. LOL

    Worse, 85% of them are trying to snag the 15% of the top guys. They'll even have sex with them just hoping to nail one down. And of course these are the guys that don't bother to commit, or settle with one girl, cuz so many are throwing themselves at them. But now this girl thinks cuz Chad Thundercock did her she is somehow elevated in SMV. She now isn't going to settle with just some shmuck cuz she can land a Chad. So she rides the cock-carousel 'till nobody wants her.

    Sad really. Yes, very unrealistic. And then you'll hear the famous cry, "But I just wasn't hhhhaaaappppyyyy.". :)

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It’s the same with men. They expect us to be curvy but not fat. Have perfect, silky smooth hair, face free of acne. Makeup, but not too much makeup, then she’ll look like a slut.

    They expect us not to be shy, but not too chatty because that’s annoying. Be adventurous in the bedroom. Shave our underarms, legs, nether regions and any other hair that is unappealing to men. Expect your girlfriend to care for you when you’re in an emotional crisis, but not care for her because she’s probably on her period anyway.

    What I’m saying is, double standards. Men have unrealistic expectations for women. Women have unrealistic expectations for men.

    You should go into relationships not expecting anything, take it as it comes.

    Also, not all of the above applies to all men. So if you don’t have those expectations, don’t feel like I’m accusing you of anything.

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    • This. Except weight part. in my opinion not so wrong in wanting someone healthy.

      You forgot about earning money. She should make money, but not too much. She should have a job but not a career. Only 'cute' and girly professions like cashier, nurse, secretary are good. An investment banker? Too masculine. A scientist? No way.

  • Preach it dude. I hope to find the guy you are talking about. I want someone real, someone serious. I'm getting my masters and I want a guy like me. With goals and achieving those goals. I also really like an intelligent guy and facial hair. I feel like my standards aren't crazy. Also I'm 5'4 so I feel most guys are taller than me. I agree with the unrealistic expectations. I hope to find a guy who doesn't do the same to me or expect the perfect house wife. I want to work my career. That's why going to school and spending lots of money for it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Very, very good points. I think in too many cases, both men and women have expectations for each other that are too high for the given circumstances. We also reject perfectly fine People for very shallow reasons like Body type.

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  • "Situationships"😂😂😂

    honestly so true! One reason why i always have a date I'm sure. I typically date real men. We all have a few things we won't compromise on, for instance i NEED a man with a decent IQ who can carry on a conversation. Doesn't have to be the next Einstein, but you get it. I do know q few spinsters who refused to compromise on anything... and they will likely die spinsters. Which I'm ok with if it is a choice. Just don't bitch about it.

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  • Honestly I thought all of this was going to be annoying and kind of whiney, but some of them are good points I think. Some of your writing style sounded a little whiney, but nonetheless I agree with some of it anyways.
    I don't like the idea of girls coming up to guys and buying them drinks either, like I've never heard of any of my friends doing that or even approaching guys in that type of manner. Its just odd to me.
    Of course some of the things you said I don't really disagree, but I have a different take on it I guess. I think the reason why you think girls have high standards is because some girls do have them, and thats just how they are. I would avoid those girls, and honestly I know friends who would have certain guys in mind and I know they definitely were being a bit too ambitious. All girls would want a hot rich boyfriend, not all girls are going to get that. Some of them just don't realize it.
    I think it has a lot to do with that hot guys will sleep with these girls, but they won't date them. And then once that happens they put themselves on a high horse and expect those hot rich guys to date them and take care of them when its just not going to happen. Because they aren't hot or smart enough of. There is just nothing there.
    BUT I also have to say that anybody is allowed to have their own standards and opinions, not saying they'll be successful with them, but they can have them. I am not a fan of skinny/scrawny/lanky guys either. And its a definitely a type that some girls like and some do not. I also don't like chubby guys or guys who are shorter than me or the same height because I like to wear high heels. It wouldn't make me feel comfortable being taller than him since I am a submissive type, its a preference. And its not hard to find a guy over 5'6 so I think its okay. I can have those standards set if I want to, I'm not going to date someone I'm not physically or emotionally attracted to. My boyfriend now wasn't necessarily my type when I started dating him, but he had the main standards so I gave him a chance and everything worked out fine and I think he's the most attractive guy ever. I think it has a lot to do with perspective and what they are looking for. When they want a real partner, they'll stop being so superficial.

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  • I think so and I don't like it either because there's so many guys walking around out there who are compatible with girls and would make great boyfriends or husbands but a lot of girls wouldn't give them a chance because they don't meet with a few qualifications on these women's lists of what they require to date a man. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to throw away a chance at happiness, companionship and sex because of a stupid list of criteria.

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  • Great take! I mean, it is okay to have basic standards, but it is not okay to have ridiculously high standards and then complain about not finding anyone like you said!
    I only have one expectation for relationships/men which is to give me what I give you. If I am devoted to you, you have to be as equally devoted to me or the relationship won't succeed.

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  • 1st standard- that was stupid. I do agree that a guy who is good (not perfect, no one is perfect) will not be abusive, say hurtful words or compare... But it doesn't mean that shit never happens.

    2nd standard- As a GIRL this standard hurts me too. Why do so many guys expect a woman who is religious, wears modest clothes, speaks and behaves modestly, is innocent like a flower, but still a nasty slutty vulgar wildcat with years of experience and a PhD on sex and eroticism in bed? Many women are in to vulgar stuff but not all. Even typing this made me cry, shit.

    3rd standard- The first past and fair sex part kinda confused me. But it is stupid to expect a man to be tall and ripped like a model. I personally wouldn't want a 6'+ guy cause I'm short myself and he would basically be a giant lol.

    Also, this is actually an 'issue' I addressed more than once on this website previously. People want a good spouse without willing to be the good spouse themselves.

    People with unrealistic standards are increasing alarmingly. Literally there are men out there looking like shit expecting their wives to be flawless like dolls... To the point that I even heard of men divorcing women for having darker armpits and private area, or for not being smooth in bed like porn stars.

    Sometimes I just don't want to marry. I'd rather die being virgin than change myself to meet people's standards.

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  • I agree with everything gregcmack said. Expectations can be far to high on the female's side. I will admit that I was guilty of this.. at a point. Yes, when I was 8-ish I wanted the cute blonde that I would meet at the beach, with blue eyes, a tan, and an adorable grin. The difference is, I grew out of the really quickly. I don't have a "type" now, and I am happy about the guy I like and don't want to force him to change. So many girls, even those in the comment section say "Oh, well it's fair to expect him to get a sixpack because that's feasible, but it's not like I can change my boob size". Girls, let me tell you what.
    1.) If it's so easy, go get a six-pack yourself.
    2.) Some guys physically can't get a six-pack unless they take unhealthy supplements.
    3.) Well, you could get bigger boobs, by surgery. Something that could harm and would alter your body, just like strain from overexercising/supplement side effects could his.
    Instead of whining, accept him for who he is. Is he overweight? Work out together. No "oh, you need to get in shape" while staying at home whining. Go out with him, even if you don't technically need it.
    Anyway, this comment is much longer than planned, so it's time for me to end it.

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  • It's funny how men complain that when they try and meet women they get turned down. Yet some women tried to meet you and you turned them down without even knowing anything about them. WTH? Seems like you are the one with high expectations that no one will ever meet.

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  • I agree and disagree.

    I think a lot of what people call "standards/expectations" today aren't actually expectations on the women's part in many cases. I've spoken with the ex boyfriends of girls I dated in the past and a lot of what the guy thought the girl expected of him was legitimately all in his head.

    Just the other day I spoke with a girl who said she only dated guys who were 6'+ and that it was in her mind, with the most recent guy that was hitting on her who is like 5'8/5'9. She's now engaged to that same guy lol. The height thing wasn't a standard for her, but a preference. Most girls are that way about a lot of what we call "expectations", but they're really preferences and yes most girls have some unrealistic preferences, but the actual expectations/standards are nowhere near as unreasonable as you would think.

    I know for me I would prefer a girl who has an immaculate booty, immaculate tits, immaculate skin, has sex with me multiple times a day every day, but no other guys hit on her. That's a very unrealistic preference, but hey. Doesn't stop me from preferring that lol.

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  • As far as I can tell for the most part they want someone with

    - A job, some ambition to be good at life.
    - Taller than they are (lol most men are).
    - Doesn’t suffer from any mental disorder.
    - Can wash and dress himself with some style.

    Is that REALLY too high of an expectation?

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    • You clearly don't know many women.

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    • @HikerDude So we're in agreement then, most couples are well matched. Top men/women, average men/women, bottom men/women. *many* women can't possibly have that high standards if you see average and low couples around.

      I mean, describe the girls you've dated, they can't ALL have been bad?

    • No, I'm saying that I don't see that many couples at all, and the ones I do see are two generally attractive people. What I see is that girls increasingly have high standards, even girls who don't have that much to offer. They focus on the top guys, but this ironically makes top guys even less likely to settle with any single woman.

  • so here we have a church-going guy . who hates dating . who goes to bars .
    and turns down girls who approach him to buy him a drink . and he comes away
    from that bar thinking women have unrealistic expectations for men?
    sounds pretty freaking absurd to me . maybe he needs to talk with his pastor .

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    • NOTICE: he said "recently" he has been turning them down. Because "previously" they have had ridiculous standards.

      It says that right near the beginning...

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    • @Prankster13
      you are only speculating why he goes to a bar . just to have a drink?
      he could do that at home or at a friend's place . but one can only wonder
      why this particular guy . who has hostile and negative views of women
      would go alone to a bar where women also go to drink . and put himself
      in close proximity to women he detests that further fuels his attitudes against them? .
      seems pretty sociopathic to me . but that's pure speculation on my part . cya .

    • Um... So I'm sorry. Did you want me to address your speculation with non-speculation?

      Okay bye.

  • I do realize you said that this is your experience, then I noticed your subject changed to ‘ladies’. Which is a bit puzzling, but nonetheless..

    1) Seems like you are the one who has his views “backwards”. Not all women want a tall ripped, unrealistic, pretty man. They want someone actually interested in them, who wants to engage in intellectually stimulating conversations. Or, I don’t know, want what they want.
    If she’s checking out guys, so tf what. She’s with you for a reason, trust her.
    Lots of women are aware that not every man looks like “Tom Brady”.
    It sounds like you fell across one too many women who had these qualities. Maybe that should have been something you communicated with your partner. Communication is sexy!
    If you don’t want to be friend with her friends, let her know. Don’t be a dick about it though.
    That sounds like YOU aren’t picking the right girl, maybe she LOOKS GOOD but has all of these qualities you dislike.
    If that bugs you, find a girl to hook up with at a bar and move on to the next one. This annoyed the shit out of me, because a lot of guys will write girls off because of their looks. They expect a good looking girl to have the intellect or attitude of a girl most would call ugly.
    Many women are very loose with their standards, maybe you chose a Megan Fox, expecting her to be intellectually equivalent to Rosalind Franklin. Or as accepting as Frida Kahlo. Let’s just go ahead and say ‘some girls’ or ‘the girls I have dated’ instead of following up with ‘Ladies’ addressing all of the females.
    I feel sorry for you, because it sounds like someone got your panties in a bunch. Good luck finding “the one” with a dismissive attitude like that.

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    • "Megan Fox, expecting her to be intellectually equivalent to Rosalind Franklin. Or as accepting as Frida Kahlo. "

      This is GOLD.

    • @Schrodingerscat all my male buddies say that even fridas today have the attitude and ungrounded self esteem of gisele. so... yeah. ugly and bright won't equal dateable either... .

  • I think you're overstating a few things, but despite the embellishment, your underlying sentiments ring true. Yes, 6/10 girls expect 8/10 or 9/10 guys. 6/10 guys *WANT* 8/10 or 9/10 girls, but do not *expect* them-- that's the difference.

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  • I didn't bother reading all of it, just another whiny post about women that will get you no where. I suggest you go to a gay bar next time instead. Go get a guy then you won't have to rant about your unrealistic expectations of women.

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    • Uhh that's what this site is for tho. What you just typed is kinda stupid sorry sweetheart maybe next time read it all and then use whatever brain power you have left?

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    • Oh come on you hear women whining all the time about guys expectations and how they don't fit them.

    • Mad at what he said; ridicules him for his age. Classic! Perfect ad hominem.

  • Lmfao because men have just as unrealistic standards for women. And their number is much more than girls.

    So many women got downvoted for calling guys out on it 😂

    There are girls who have realistic standards but none of you guys would date them because they don't fit your high standards.

    Talk about hypocrisy.

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    • 1. Didn’t down vote you
      2. You’re drunk and a virgin, go home.

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    • @levantine99 and @Schrodingerscat looking at the two views, there must be a regional difference.
      Also @Schrodingerscat if a woman wants to date but never approaches a guy, does she simultainously date and not date?(pun about your username if I didn't word it right).

  • Goddamn you went out and rub it in their faces and it's very well written. Well done.

    I'll just say it's always been like that. Women are hypergamous but it is until now nobody puts them limits to their hypergamy so they have unreal expectations and feel entitled, despite not giving much in return.

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  • Well, i think your writing style is kinda rude, but i can agree to you that some of us (including me few years ago) have bit much of expectations in the looks department.

    I thing i want to point out though, for myself i do know when i love a guy and when i just want to have him in my bed. Problem is when you can't separate these.

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  • I would love to point out how accurate and detailed this well rounded view has taken. But that would take a really long time.

    Instead I shall sum up the underling theme to this by saying "Regardless of your grandeur vision of perfection, the truth of time will wipe away the map to Eldorado. Simply put, your idle will not last as long as you think.!"

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  • This is a really great take. I love learning from a guy's perspective. Thanks! 😙

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  • "But in the meantime, baby girl, you’re not even half the things you have on your own list of standards?"

    Bingo. Someone posted another question on GAG recently about a Meghan Trainor song in which she gives her 78-point list of demands for what her future husband must be. This is a fat girl with average looks and an unpleasant personality demanding traits that might exist concurrently in about 8 men now living. But Fat Meghan Trainor demands all that before she will consider marriage. Right.

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  • Loved this take, I actually took my time to read it after the first few sentences, Good job! You should do more Mytakes like this :) <3

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  • Finally! Somebody put Standard 3 into words.. I'm like damn when women want that type of thing, they can be worse than dudes.. At least dudes know where to fall back, but women take it far beyond a fantasy.. They make it a goal.. Great Take!

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  • I'm sorry i can''t read thuis whole PMS'ing bitchy girly rant, but what I'm thinking you're missing is that women have standards that they set because the right woman will show you what it's possible for you to be and help you live up to it. I know because I've been with a goddess for 21 years, and the only way is that I have evolved into someone more caring, more successful, more engaging, more fun, than I was when we met.

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  • Men are just as unrealistic as women. People are picky. (Some much more than others, but still.) People want what they’re going to keep forever to be great from day one.

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    • Guys are just as unrealistic? I sure haven't seen it.

    • Wether it’s quantity or quality of wants, both genders have the same average standard. It’s part of being human.

  • The second standard of this Take really hits home with me! I know how it is to be a "golden boy" type (as in being the 'perfect role model' kid) while in middle/high school, and somehow being shunned by your female peers.

    I just had to accept, that some of these gals are just broken and aren't attracted to good boys/men. Ah well, it's their emotional grave they are digging themselves.

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    • I feel the same. Were you raised by religious parents?

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    • Yeah, same here. I was raised in a Southern Christian home, and I will say that that doesn't prepare you well for dealing with dating and girls. You learn a lot of things at home that you find out later aren't widely respected by other people.

    • @BigJake yup, we both had to learn some edge, which can only be done amongst our male peers.

  • Honestly, I can't find a man I like with even with bare minimum standards. Kind, responsible, not a dick, etc. Basically most of the things that make people a decent human being.

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  • Lots of men and women alike have vastly inflated ideas of their "worth" and what is reasonable for them to expect in a partner
    I think younger me are worse than younger women but older women are worse than older men
    But that is just my experience

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  • Women day dream about having the perfect this and perfect that. I consider myself a successful guy about to finish law school, I love to communicate, I cook good food, I’m funny, I consider myself decent looking but no success on dating apps.

    Dating apps are the worse because girls are expecting Prince Charming on those things. I’ve realized, screw the dating apps, just approach girls in person and hope for the best.

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  • I have a point system to match a potential partners in looks. I would honestly feel uncomfortable with someone who looks better or worse than me.
    1.) has freckles like me
    2.) similar to my weight/height
    3.) Has surgery scars
    4.) hyperpigmjnration
    They guy dosnt HAVE to meet these requirements. But that’s how I would frame options.

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  • About as unrealistic as men have for women...
    You tell me if that's fair or not...

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    • Be that as it may, there is no cottage media industry cheering men's unrealistic expectations on. Men are "pigs" or worse for such unrealistic expectations, whereas for women the magazines all have a "You Go Girl!" attitude.

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    • If anyone has seen my other questions and answers, Now you all know what I mean when I say that women simply don't care about male hardships and they want everything to be about them, this comment and a few other ones are a good example as to what I mean.

    • @MelaninDoll True. Women aren't really interested to put themselves in men's shoes, and I mean existentially. Just look at social conventions and look at the laws and tell me with a straight face men aren't in any shape or form disadvantaged. Not to say women don't have hardships, but women are privileged first class citizens in modern society and that's why they feel entitled.

  • "The other night, I was at a bar..."
    I think that's why you're constantly coming across the sort of women you're going on about in your post.

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  • Men just want women to satisfy his one need while women need men to satisfy all of their needs. Interesting Mytake

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  • I think your hanging out with wrong women, but there are some girls like them. These girls were too immature

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  • Not a bad article, English and grammar very poor, but makes a good point. But it is not for you to tell women what to look for on the basis that you end up the loser if they look for other things. Some go purely for looks, I think they are stupid but it is up to them. Where I believe a lot of women are unrealistic is when they are old , plain, poor and want a gorgeous young rich man. I have come across women who join the dating sites for millionaires when they are penniless, and they really believe that some gorgeous hardworking rich hunk will pick them out and marry them when they are merely lazy gold diggers. Of course they get nobody other than the men who lie about being rich or who just have sex wit them and then dump them. They should have seen that coming.

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  • Fuck yeah, they have unrealistic expectations for men. Why is it that they're against body shaming when it comes to women, but not for men? Why are they able to get a good body by not eating like a hippo, while men have to work out and diet? Why do they have double standards about the wage gap? Because yes, men do earn more because they take the more difficult and risky jobs, as opposed to liberal arts.

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  • these deluded women as you call them lack a spiritual life. know who else lacks a spiritual life? the men who fall for them.

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  • Some women do have unrealistic expectations. Most don't.

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  • For women, looks is the biggest hurdle men have clear... if a man isn't attractive enough, none of his other qualities will matter because women will never talk to him.

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  • No we don't. But I do think we often have unrealistic standards when it comes to looks.

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  • So you wrote this to try to throw in some brags yourself ha. How many women do you meet a day to have women constantly feel up your chest? Even good looking built men don't get it often, it's women who have to deal with men wanting to feel them up. Women can't be lusty toward men though? Women are the fair sex, but you make it like women are aesthetically superior? As a straight man I agree with you, but it's perspective, and it makes sense for women to see men as the sexier looking gender, and I'm sure gay men feel that way about men compared to women. Standards are good and high, but sometimes women place more emphasis on things that should be less important but are important to them, but could be a reason why they have trouble or miss out on great guys and aren't married or stay with a great man for life.

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  • Lol, there are a lot of words and checklists there...
    Can't it just be shortened to "I like him" and take it from there

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  • What about sexual selection? You are aware that men mostly do the pursuing and women mostly do the choosing, right? For sound evolutionary reasons. I mean, that is true for many species. That's why male peacocks lug around big unwieldy tails that leave them vulnerable to predation. To impress the ladies.

    You can tell women to lower their standards... But they will laugh in your face. Women are TWICE as likely to pass on their genes as men are.

    You seem to get a lot of female attention, so maybe that is why you feel comfortable lecturing women about their preferences, but for most men, that is not the reality. And most women know from experience that they can date up and that men will compete for them.

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  • I think that a lot of girls just want their dreams come true. Dreams about perfect man in a perfect world))

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  • Puh. A guy who doesn’t like women having high expectations/standards are often the ones who have these standards for women. Funny.

    I think everybody is allowed to have these kind of expectations. Yeah they may seem too far to reach and impossible, but just because you can’t meet them doesn’t mean that they aren’t allowed to have them. And I can guarantee that those who complain about these things are the ones who have these kind of standards as well but maybe aren’t too obvious about it. We like what we like. And most of the expectations are found in real life, maybe they’ve seen a guy who’s their ideal but didn’t have the chance to see him. You may never know.

    We like what we like

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    • And people don’t have to be the things they have on their standards. If they’re interested and see their ideal and the ideal likes them, why should that matter to you?

  • Interesting mytake--I do wonder though if there's more or less women like this in certain areas/social circles?

    Just judging by most of the people I know, most of them seem to be grounded have solid, realistic relationship expectations.
    The most relatable part of your mytake for me is seeing the abundance of women (myself included in the past) that invested way too much time with non-commital boys, but I can't recall that leading to rejecting better men later in life.

    I definitely believe what you're saying, I guess I just never experienced or thought of it being as common place as it is from your perspective.

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  • Yeah a lot of them do. A lot still want the fairy-tale romance, the knight in shining armor kind of BS.

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  • Thanks for your straight expression. I think you have dealt with the matter rightly.

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  • I agree brother, but you said it yourself: "women are the ones who have to be won over." Women are the decision makers in dating. Women are the limiting resource. If women had their way 100%, about two thirds of men would NEVER be in a relationship (as evidenced in matrilineal societies like the Na and from genetic information). Maybe their standards are too high, but it still works out for them in the sense that there are very few women who have trouble meeting their standards (even if it means overlooking REALLY shitty qualities like narcissism and sociopathy, which actually increase aggression and as you pointed out apathy which are attractive male qualities, or if it means "sharing" a man, like your younger days stories) why would they change it?

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  • Yup, they do. They can't help it, given that they've been brainwashed.

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  • Hell yeah 80% of men have been taken out the market

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