Here’s the thing: all men do not have these impossible expectations that women keep claiming they have. All in the same, I’m not saying that these expectations simply fell out of the sky either. They came from women.
Let me explain before I have a bunch of girls raging in the comments telling me how I’m just saying this stuff to get praise from men, because I’m not. What I’m saying is that there is a very real problem with unrealistic expectations being placed on women, and as a result, they are beginning to project those expectations.
What I mean by that is that all people – men and women alike – who have taught behaviors and beliefs, will begin to project what they have learned onto other people. If you make that learned behavior extremely negative, you’re only adding fuel to the fire. Say you raise someone to believe that they are the scum of the earth … chances are, they will believe they are the scum of the earth, right? Subsequently, they are going to believe that other people also see them as the scum of the earth, as that was what they were taught.
On the topic of women, there’s just a plethora of bullfuckery that tells them to be beautiful, perfect, this way, that way, have a thigh gap, curves, thigh-brows, etc, etc, etc – all of it suggesting (because they can never directly say it without there being a media uproar) that there is a universal version of perfection and they don’t fit into it. If any woman picks up a copy of Cosmo chances are, by the time they put it down, they’re going to believe they know exactly what men want in a woman, because they just read into a bunch of articles (written by women) that tell them what men want. Not only that, they rely on common trends to dictate what men want physically, even if these trends were NEVER designed claimed attractive by men. It’s WOMEN.
Women created the thigh-gap craze, women created the “eyebrows on fleek” hashtag – and trust me: I looked into it. Even so, so many women … hell, young girls even, now believe that these expectations that they bought into are the expectations of the men they want to be with. It’s INSANE.
Don’t get me wrong, men HAVE and still DO contribute to unrealistic expectations, but if you were to take the average guy off of the street and place him next to the average girl off of the street and ask them what men’s expectations are, I guarantee that the girl will say that their expectations are much higher than what the guy would claim. And that is because she was conditioned differently than he was – she had more media bullshit directed at her appearance than him and she unfortunately bought into it and took it as fact, leading her to believe that this guy standing next to her expects her to look unrealistically “beautiful.”
In truth this take was inspired by an anonymous user who, more than once, posted a question asking why all men wanted girls with big boobs, a big ass, little waist and thigh gaps (I’m paraphrasing here) and I couldn’t help but yell at my screen that THEY DON’T. It’s women. It’s women who are affected by and accept the unrealistic expectations that are presented to them and then taking that perception and projecting it as the opinions of men who otherwise never even knew that thigh gaps were important. I mean, how many guys have said: “I can’t date a girl if she doesn’t have double-D’s, hip bones showing, with a huge ass and thigh gap.” I have NEVER heard this, not unless the dude was hardcore trolling, and if there WAS a guy like that, I can almost promise you that he is one in a million.
It all comes from a deeper issue of mentally unhealthy girls with unrealistic expectations towards themselves, and this is why I advocate that all people – not just women (men have all of these issues too, they aren’t exempt from these problems, it just isn’t as obvious or widely recognized) do not buy into what they see in the media, or on instagram, or on the internet. I also urge the mothers and fathers of young children to actually have discussions with their kids on health and realistic expectations so they don’t just believe everything that they hear or read. Teach them to love themselves, don’t wait for them to do it all wrong and have to learn how after so much damage has already been done.
So, ladies, before you demonize men and tell them that they have unrealistic expectations, take a look at where you’re getting it from. If he hasn’t told you he wants all of these things, you can’t assume anything. For all you know, you were perfect to him until you began hating yourself and blaming him for it. The truth is, is that no matter what your flaw is, there IS a guy out there who will love it or overlook it because he cares about you.
That’s all I have to say on the subject, I’m sure that this is going to upset some people but this is what I genuinely believe. As always I mean no harm by anything that I said, I really intended for this to do good and I hope some people get my message. If not, thanks for reading anyways and have yourself a good week nonetheless.
Most Helpful Opinions