It's a slap in the face when women and society tell men to just be confident!

[Anonymous]

Because it's extremely hard for adult males to gain legit realistic confidence depending on who they are. Men don't gain real confidence over night like women.

In order for a man to have healthy confidence it all starts at childhood. If your son is born good looking his pathway to confidence could be easier. He will be coddled more, more affection, more attention, more toys, more respect. If you son if ugly he'll have to work much harder.

During preteens is when the good looking boy will start gaining achievements which will strengthen his baseline confidence. During this stage is also where the ugly son will fall in confidence without good parents. The ugly son will need to work harder at literally everything while his parents guide him in the right direction.

Highschool is where the sons will either become the top males, the school shooters, maybe an average guy if lucky or damaged for LIFE. Keep in mind during his childhood until now his brain is still developing. It's at this point in life the girls will lust for the hot son that naturally had it easy. The ugly son will HAVE TO either become average or face becoming a loner or worse damaged for life. Parents can't help much here because many students can be pure sociopathic and will eat the ugly son alive. This can lead to him become something evil in the future or maybe good.

College isn't as important as it's mostly upper middle class liberals and top attractive people that benefit from it.

At this point as an adult the sons are either broken or healthy. It's at this point society and women will show you no mercy.

To the world you are either a winner male

or a loser male.

[Levin]

You know, you really had a great idea, but you ruined it by thinking all that's needed to be successful in life is good looks. Ever notice how pretty hideous guys get hot girls, and do materially well.

That renders what you say as a load of bollocks.

The notion that a man can just be deep-down confident is indeed a nonsense. It has to be day to day cultivated using such means as self responsibility, dignity, perpetually challenging yourself, will etc. If these dynamics and qualities aren't inculcated from your parents, often a healthy male role model, then it's nigh on impossible to learn them yourself in your formative years. You have to do the real hard work when you know better and can take responsibility, instead of blaming everybody else.

Each man has his share of qualities (not that they're evenly distributed), and each man has his own cross to bear. Just because a person seems like they have it easy on the surface (because they're good looking, or what have you), is not necessarily reflective of reality. You have not the foggiest what they're struggling with underneath the surface.

Real men take responsibility for their lives, and try and make the best of it, without blaming everybody else. All this false dichotomised winner/loser bullshit makes you a slave to society. You only have something to prove to yourself.

Confidence comes from 'right living', and can be dashed in an instant.

[coachTanthony]

I have had clients that did a complete turn around with their confidence just by changing their environment. None of this in your myTake matters. Every guy has the capability to change... he just needs the right tools.

Agree to disagree!

[Champ78]

What do you mean changing my environment? Getting new friends?

[coachTanthony]

I had a client who worked downtown and lived in a shitty apartment in the suburbs. Hung out with loser buddies and hated his life. Once we discovered what he wanted we made a plan. He sold his car... moved downtown close to work and moved into a one bedroom condo overlooking the city. Made new friends in the building... got a girlfriend and is happy as can be. Show me your closet friends and I will show you your future. Every one wants confidence but isn’t willing to take action and change their environment, friends, mindset etc.

[Champ78]

I don’t want to change my friends because they are good for me. But you could say my minded needs to be changed

[Inbox]

@coachTanthony Yup!

[coachTanthony]

@Champ78 That’s just one client and his experience... not saying it’s cookie cutter advice! Everyone has their own shit including me.

[Champ78]

I don’t even know where to start to be honest because I’m 19 and haven’t been in a relationship. I feel as if it doesn’t matter what I want even though it most definitely should. I’m worried that a girl will only like me if I give her all the attention she wants even though I really don’t want to do that.

[coachTanthony]

@Champ78 Your 19 the world is your oyster !

[Champ78]

I guess maybe I’m overthinking everything. But here’s what I do know. I’m am DONE with putting a girls needs before mine. It’s not working for me

[coachTanthony]

@Champ78 you should be chasing excellence anyway not women! A good book to digest would be The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi... give you everything you need to know!

[Champ78]

I know the man I want to be and I’m going to be that

[Champ78]

And I know what I want to be career wise and I’m working to get there.

[coachTanthony]

@Champ78 That’s good! Nothing wrong with self education though! It’s a good book! You should check it out!

[AlienParasite]

That whole ugly baby story sounds really weird. If your mother deliberately treated you bad, I'm sorry. But in my experience all kids are beautiful.

Now, I think you give too much importance to looks. Someone can be confident because they appreciate their own mind and their skills. Precisely beign able to be confident in your abilities is more attractive than just looking good. Also, beign confident is not feeling superior to anybody, but learning not to feel inferior.

You must have some good skills that you should appreciate more and feel very proud of. You should sometimes remember what you like about yourself and makes you deserving of love. That way you'll find your confidence. If you can't find the help of a therapist. You know, studies show that many guys just avoid therapists but many women go and find psychological help if they feel that bad, that's how they learn to be confident.

[Anonymous]

Does this guy honestly think women gain confidence overnight? Society is literally set up to demolish women’s self esteem so that the beauty and fashion industries can keep making a profit off our insecurities. Unfortunately, some people are ugly ducks and some are beautiful swans. That’s the reality. The phrase “confidence is key” shouldn’t be a slap in the face. They are words of encouragement. An unattractive guy could woo a beautiful woman if he has a good level of confidence. Confidence can be more attractive than physical attractiveness. So perhaps you should stop whining?

[aa180]

Well put. Though I honestly find it incredibly strange how different women's brains work compared to men's. For example, if a guy sees an unattractive woman (based on her looks), then it doesn't matter if she is the most confident person on the face of this Earth, he's not gonna wanna date nor have sex with her. While if a guy sees a woman with little confidence but has a smoking hot body, then you can bet your dreams that he's gonna wanna bone her pretty bad.

So I never understood how women are willing to have sex with a bald ugly fatso just because he has confidence, for example. It's such a weird concept to me 😅 lol

[Opinion Owner]

@aa180 its a weird thing that I’ve experienced and still don’t understand. Confidence is magnetic and it draws people in. There’s proof of it everywhere. There are plenty of unattractive guys that are dating beautiful women just because he was confident enough to pursue her.

[aa180]

Yeah I know, and I don't get it either haha

[rjroy3]

It's not a slap in the face. It's a mix of them being ignorant and you being too sensitive. Part of confidence is based on nothing except your own self talk. The other part of confidence is based off of experience and what you've accomplished. Tangible experiences to base your confidence on.

It's a mentality more than anything else. Is it easier to develop feelings of deservedness when people treat you well and you have a good family? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean you can't be confident without those things. Your argument really seems to be if you don't have a leg up then you won't be confident, when the reality is that humans are confident by nature and it's only when external factors get in the way that shakes that.

If you have family members treating you like shit, school kids treating you like shit and teachers not treating you well AND you tell yourself a story about why that is in a way that hurts your self esteem. Then yes, you'll have confidence issues. You should read the book "Vital Lies & Simple Truths".

An easy example of telling yourself a story. Imagine you walk up to a girl and hit on her, then she insults you, rejects you and tells you to leave. The story you tell yourself in that moment matters in regards to your confidence. If you tell yourself, "what did I do wrong? is there something wrong with me? Why does this happen?" that will veer you negative.

While if you tell yourself "wow... she's in a bad mood lol. What the fuck was that about? Oh well, not about me" and move along. Your self esteem is unaffected by that. Whether it's true or false doesn't matter. You are telling yourself a story in either case. One helps you. One hurts you. This take saying, "I can't be confident because I didn't have it easy" is a story that hurts you.

For one it's objectively not true. But even if it were. You would be better off believing the opposite and doing better because you've deluded yourself.

[Bananaman177]

The fact is, the world really is divided up into winners and losers. And there's way more losers than winners.

And pretty much nobody cares, really. Nothing's going to change, society won't suddenly one day wake up and radically restructure itself to give short, fat, ugly, or otherwise repulsive people a fighting chance. The most you'll ever get is like two seconds of sympathy, some beautiful girl might see you and almost feel a pang of pity in her heart but then she'll shake her hair out and go find some insanely hot dude with a massive dick to fuck her brains out and have like fifty orgasms, meanwhile thousands of dudes who have never even held a girl's hand are killing themselves in their closets and the world just keeps right on spinning.

And if you don't like it, well, there's two choices you have: one is to continue to suffer until you die naturally. The other choice is to kill yourself in your closet. Either way, nobody cares.

Nobody cares, bro. Nobody cares. They care enough to tweet out a crying face emoji when you kill yourself, that's about it. And then they go back to fucking other beautiful people and never thinking about ugly people at all.

[Anonymous]

As a girl, I agree, it isn't as easy as "just be confident" and you can't gain confidence overnight. I am still rebuilding mine and have been for a few years now. It takes time.

Without going into too much detail, my confidence was destroyed as a teenager by various adults in my life calling me weird, annoying, and saying I had mental problems. I also gained weight in high school because of an unnecessary medication I was put on (which had several other awful side effects), which got me teased and made fun of. I became socially awkward as well. I am still trying to tell myself that I'm just as good as anyone else and that nothing is wrong with me.

However, a lack of confidence isn't something you can do NOTHING about. You can definitely build confidence, it just doesn't come overnight and it requires a lot of hard work. It requires stepping outside of your comfort zone.

No matter how you were brought up or how bad your past is, you can always change and build confidence. Whether or not you do is up to you. Like I said, it will take time and a lot of hard work, but it's definitely possible. The main thing is doing positive things for yourself, trying some things that are outside your comfort zone (with me, it was doing certain things completely on my own or making a phone call about something), etc. It will build a little with each success. The hardest part is not letting your failures get to you too badly.

[Nicolette777]

‘Men dont gain real confidence over night like women’

Women don’t gain confidence over night either. I faked my confidence for a year or so and pushed my boundaries. I did things I hated like making small talk at the cash register and having conversations with people in the park. I made an effort to smile at strangers and stand up straight. From this, I became more and more confident and the fake confidence turned into real confidence. It’s true what they say: fake it until you make it 😉 it can truly change your life in all areas. Plus, there is NOOO denying that Jon Hamm isn’t hot haha

[Porcelaine]

The exact same applies to women. I don't know where you got the idea women get confidence overnight lol. Men don't need to be good looking to have confidence because people expect different qualities from them. And they can always work out to have good bodies. Now if a woman was not attractive she will have much harder time gaining confidence if she is surrounded by vain people all around her. look how many girls are getting plastic surgery as a result of this. they spend 2h everyday in front of a mirror. what guy does this? literally noone

[AllThatSweetJazz]

We can't just say they can work out to have good bodies. It's hard work and it takes a lot to have an attractive body that way as a guy. Women don't need to reach the same level of fitness to have an attractive body.

You can say women also lack confidence but the point of difference would be that it doesn't matter. You might spend 2 hours in front a of a mirror and sure that can be bad for you, but whether you have that confidence or not doesn't really matter as much in the first place.

[Porcelaine]

@AllThatSweetJazz what? yes it matters. confidence matters equally to men and women. and working out for women is the same, you probably imagine a guy with a six pack and massive muscles. that is not necessary to be attractive. simply stay healthy, fit, but it is not needed to be a gym queen. and for guys it is not as important as women. men are very visual and it is a MUST for them to find a woman visually appealing. while men attract women in many other ways. you are probably simply focusing on something you don't have and ignore all the possible ways you can improve yourself and get over the insecurities. it's hard work, so whining of course is easier.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

"confidence matters equally to men and women."
To what extent it does matter, it's probably nor equal. Men and women have differences, so the notion that they would be truly equal in basically anything is improbable.
Women care about confidence more, it's well observed.

"men are very visual and it is a MUST for them to find a woman visually appealing."
Yes, but it seems like your assumption is that has something to do with the gym. I already had taken account of that when I said what I said. Even after considering that men are more visual, it's still the case that men find women very attractive without them having to go to the gym. Where men would be expected to "stay healthy, fit" like you said, women only need to not be fat. That's all.

You went the wrong way with it. When you say men find women more visually appealing you think that means it strickens their standards? No, rather it ends up meaning that their increased appreciation for visual simply allows them to find many more women appealing.
Then conversely: "while men attract women in many other ways" doesn't mean than the standards are lower, it means there's more categories required to meet minimum thresholds in. If a woman is attractive and nice then job done. Meet those two major categorgies then you're in good shape with a guy. For a woman to like a guy there's looks and personality (and these are differen than men's and that's why liking confidence is not the same) and then *at least* one more category than guys have, if not more, depending on how you bundle these things. It would include providing and protection, ambition, status/lifestyle/wealth, education. So if as a guy you're not meeting a minimum threshold in these things then you're getting dumped. But If I find a cute girl and her personality seems wholesome and satisfying to me, then that's all will ever want of her.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

You can accuse me of whatever nonsense ad hominems you want so you can feel dismissive toward me, but it doesn't make me wrong, sorry.
And you basically point it out when saying it's hard work, yes, it often is hard work for guys, especially relative to women. For women it's just not that hard to be attractive (as we've established, men are more visual and find many women very attractive) by comparison.

If I'm "whining about insecurities" then you're *derisive from privilege.*
Like a wealthy person tell a homeless person to just "pull their socks up" as the expression goes, but it's like please, you as a rich person don't look like you've had to pull up a sock in your life and instead hired the servants to do it for you.

[Hurdleez-Swampede]

Men are held to more accountability for their actions and behaviors. Women usually think that men don‘t have issues because he doesn‘t get periods.

A man could be waiting 3 hours in the rain for backstage tickets while a woman who just arrives flashes her tits and all of a sudden, she does that unfair advantage because she is too sorry to wait in line like decent people and knows she would become favorable to get them. Women tend to have a win at all costs attitude. Women cry rape many times when it isn‘t so she doesn‘t have to deal with bad choices.

[Liskitty]

ANYBODY who's good-looking, regardless of their gender, will have it easier in life than an ugly person.
And honestly I don't think I've ever heard someone say "just be confident". Males and females need to gain confidence and work hard for it by improving their life every single day.

[Pulimuli]

Actually its a pretty common thing that bullshitters tell men

They tell you to fake confidence until you become confident because 'women dont care if you are ugly as long as you are confident' and other made up fairytales

[HereIbe]

@Pulimuli, I'm as ugly as my own ass, and I've never had problems relating with women.

[Silver158]

mmmm yes and no. If you're good looking you get plenty of people who stab you in the back or try to drag you down to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities as much as those who want you as an actual friend.

[Pulimuli]

@HereIbe relating or getting laid?

Also just because you think you are ugly doesn't mean every woman on the planet does

[HereIbe]

@Pulimuli, both. Although I usually get laid after the relating. A zipless fuck gets boring after a while.

[cherryqueen01]

That's not true. You've also got to be social, outgoing and easy to get along with. If you're good looking but shy and quiet, don't talk much to anyone, peope think you're a bitch and better than them and you will have it harder in life. People say "just be confident" constantly, teachers say it in school if you get teased etc.

[GraveDoll]

Not even sure what happened in this piece. I tell everyone confidence will take you a long way.

no solutions here just whining how the world should enhance peoples low self-esteem and tears: sad face?:

If that a slap in the face than what do you want? Dwell with you in self-pity? -_-

[HereIbe]

He's a whiny little crybaby. What else can he do?

[Muhammad1999]

@HereIbe and what are you? An old pig?

[Inbox]

@Muhammad1999 😂😂😂

[GraveDoll]

@HereIbe
lol

It would appear so, considering there was no solution. Just dont tell people they can do better. OK? Just becasue your not open to change does not mean others can't benefits from some encourage words.
Like this whole piece was just a pity party. If you can't even love yourself enough to get better what does he want than?

[HereIbe]

@Muhammad1999, awwwww, the little CRYBABY is butthurt. Man up, Buttercup! Stop being such a whiny little fragile snowflake.

[HereIbe]

He wants all women to offer him free blowjobs just for existing then fall on their backs with their legs spread, just for him.

[Muhammad1999]

@HereIbe nah I dont want anything from women , infact I don't want to have sex outside marriage so what you said seems stupid , keep being a white knight old man so you can keep dreaming about women giving you sex , and another thing, you western men and your society are completely fucked up when you have to be good looking to have sex lmao , you guys have no morals , in most other countries morals come before looks but in yours it's the opposite.

[zeineboyy]

Can anyone tell me why females are mean to guys who they find unattractive,

I say "hi" to a random girl on the street and she ignores me.

I go on the bus and I ask the female driver "hi , how are you."
She said swipe the card I do so and the card doesn't work so she mumbles "bye, bye
bye.. bye"
In a very attitude voice.

Guys tend to be nice to everyone ugly, hot , male, female but women only be nice to guys they find attractive.
This really hurts my confidence. and makes me want to go antisocial like I have in highschool.

[Muhammad1999]

@zeineboyy most girls are like this , its not about being good looking , women love money and they love rich people

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't boil it down to *ugly* but it's many factors. Being attractive could be an initial positive spark but it's also about a life of positive experiences and reinforcement, good male and female role models, wealth, many opportunities, wholesome life circumstances. And most of that is undermined at present. Male role models are few and far between because any attempt to propagate masculinity has to be approved by the religious police or be considered "toxic", and female role models having grown up in this environment are roaring cunts themselves and offer no salvation.

[morimeme1]

Wow, I'm sorry but saying that confidence has something to do with gender is just a lame excuse. Confidence is a feeling and a mentality that varies from person to person. Not just men are told to be confident, everyone is and don't take it as a personal attack.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I agree with the original premise and the influence of early formative experiences. But I take contention that "looks" are the fundamental modifying factor. Takes far more than good looks to breed lasting confidence, although it can be a factor, and the 'halo effect' is very much real and well-documented.

[btbc92]

Please stop spreading this negative BS. I tell men to be confident all the time. It's up to THEM to find the courage to do so like I DO for myself. Some listen and make it, others like to fail and be a victim.

[CocoBat]

How is it BS?

[btbc92]

@CocoBat It's negative because it is untrue. People with this mentality always had this mentality and they want to spread it to other people just to make them feel like crap because they're crap. And they refuse to change for themselves. It's codependency for attention and whining. These same men reject good women because they think they're never good enough and hurt them then blame women as a whole for even caring. And then when a woman stops caring, then she's a monster or other derogatory words to think of. It's toxic. And they need psychological help.

[btbc92]

They keep going after people who are not GOOD for them. Then blame such people for even doing what is naturally in them to do: do things that aren't good for others and themselves. They become the very thing they say they hate. That's why nobody really wants to deal with them. Their self-esteem levels are far too broken and it requires some form of therapy and maybe treatment.

[Paul09]

Have you even been to high school? I've seen plenty of popular better looking kids beat, insult the uglier, sometimes smarter person. You've never experienced hate apparently. Heck I got into fights with many of these bullies myself. They walk all over the less popular kids and get away with it.

[btbc92]

I am a high school graduate of course I've been high school. Who the hell cares who is popular, who is uglier, and and all that garbage. I have been bullied, I have been hated for who I am, and I got into fights too. At the end of the day I still stand strong. So I'm not going to use that as no excuse. That's you peoples problem. Because you can't let go and you don't know where to get strength from. I get my strength from God, I guess strength for myself, I get strength from my family and my friends and those who love me. Maybe you need to start seeking out better friendships as well as good relationships. At the end of the day if you don't go ahead and Forge your own path they going to make a path for you. I'm not holding onto the past. That's why I love you people suffer because you keep holding on to things instead of letting them go.

[btbc92]

That's why you people suffer

[btbc92]

If you keep believing all those negative things about yourself, and you don't try to change from that that's why plenty of you people don't get anywhere.

[Paul09]

Well you got it figured out, congrats. Life is not the same for everyone. Kids and teens suck. But even adults suck. Everyone is out to put someone down. You don't know other people's situations. Maybe they have tried over and over, but people do not give them the chance ever. Some people are unlucky literally.

[btbc92]

Has nothing to do with life is not being the same for everyone. You actually applying that mentality to your life. I know other people situations. But they don't want to really do what they need to do. They want to be a victim yeah. They don't want to change. So what can I or somebody like me can do for them if they don't want to help themselves? You keep making that excuse and you continue to live like that and will be nobody else's fault but your own. Because guess what is nobody else's problem. Stop looking for people to give you chances. And give your own self a chance in life for once.

[btbc92]

I have lived through all kinds of situations. And one thing I know that there's a difference of. There are those with strong spirits , and there are those who are just simply weak. People who have a weak soul don't make it. They have to toughen up. There are nasty people everywhere even on this website there are nasty people. But it's up to you to allow them to get to you. It's not that you try and try again and it don't work. It's because you don't learn the lessons that you keep on neglecting to learn. Learn from your mistakes, and then you'll be able to move on to the next level.

[Paul09]

You are right on most parts. But you ever hear of mental health? That can easily control your life. It makes you experience the world far differently form regular people. But yes, some just don't do anything about and probably can. You have to realize social media controls they way a lot of people think too. Just don't think it the same for everybody. You have no clue what they've been through, or are going through. I myself get insecure, and anxious. It's very F'en annoying.

[btbc92]

What does mental health has anything to do with it? I have people that I know him like that has mental illness and they find ways to overcome. And one thing God has taught me as well as for everybody else you must learn to be an overcomer as Jesus was an overcomer. I realize a lot of things about this life. But I can care less about such things. Not because I don't care about other people cuz I care a lot about people I wouldn't even be here if I didn't. But I can care less for the garbage. And I come to find out that most people just love garbage that's why they do what they do. They like to live in filth, and I want you to live in feel too. And because you choose to live better, jealous, envious of you and want to take you down. Your very existence is a threat to their livelihood. You don't even have to do nothing or say anything just to get them that way. They just hate you on a spot. And 9 out of 10 times, they are that way because they don't even love themselves. And I want you to be just as miserable and bitter as they are. I don't have to think for everybody. But they got to think for themselves and they don't really think for themselves. Because they have the world thinking for them. I know for myself I'm not going to have to walk things for me. I have a perfect idea of what they went through because most things that people have went through I went through with myself. And I went through it far younger than anybody would expect for me to go through. I deal with insecurity and anxiousness all the time. But I still learned to push through. That's the difference. I make the effort regardless of what I feel and regardless of what I think. You know why you deal with so much insecurity and anxiousness? Because you choose to do nothing about it. You have accepted as a part of your life, and by you accepting it being a part of your life now it became your LIFE

[btbc92]

I know that God can heal anything. He can cure all diseases. But people don't want to see God for their healing. They were just cure for everything. Believe in God. By people choose to believe that he doesn't existed and just made up fairy tail. But you would have believed that what he has to say is a religion, that's why they're stuck. It's called having unbelief. And then people have unbelief in God they tend to have a lot of unbelief of themselves and everything else in their lives. It's called a sin for a reason. Because when you can't even believe in yourself you shut your own self down and you put curses on you. Sometimes it's genetic, usually is Environmental, but for the most part is learned behavior. I can say that because I've been there, I done it, and I refuse to go back to that kind of life again. God wants to get you to that place where you can actually say enough is enough. And until you say enough is enough, life for you is not going to change if you choose to do nothing about it. I have met plenty of people who have mental delays and on developments, and they're getting degrees and jobs and Families. How is it that we have those things that they lack but they gain and we get nothing? Because they have what we don't usually have and that is belief. As long as you got one person who believes in you. Then there's nobody else who can stop you.

[btbc92]

They want you to live in filth too*

[ROCKS128]

I can understand.
I have been through things from both sides.
I can relate.
Men are just taken granted or totally ignored.
Confidence, we have most time, but the people around drain it out eventually. So bad that, its hard to recover.
We are treated not well these times.
The scars are deep yet non physical.

[Swat_]

Confidence is something -everyone- regardless of gender should work on in their lives. That said though, there are both men and women who fall for less confident people. There is more to attraction than just confidence. Attraction isn't determent by one factor.

[Pulimuli]

Being born with the good genes is the 'easiest' way to be confident because you will get better treatment throughout your life if you are tall and good looking.

However if you possess talent and work hard you can still achieve great things, giving up on life just because you werent born beautiful is stupid.

[Liskitty]

You look super hot, I hope you are not speaking about yourself! =D

[Pulimuli]

@Liskitty thank you young lady 😘

No i was talking about people in general 🙂

[Glue-Sniffer]

Is that the story of how you became a loser?
I think you could greatly benefit from psychotherapy. You know, your victim mentality is very dangerous but they will talk it out of you in therapy.

[Liam_Hayden]

Confidence is really just a state of mind. I have friends who get dates 4 out of 5 times that they ask. I'm lucky if I get a date 1 out of 5 times, but since I ask 20 times as much I still get several times as many dates. In life it isn't the strikeouts that matter, but the hits.

[Paul09]

That's deep

[ronaldo75]

If you're confident and foward with a woman but you're unattractive and dress badly or BROKE then you're a sexual assailant.

If you're confident and foward with a woman but you're attractive, dress well and have money then you're hot and a 'real ' ma.

[Muhammad1999]

Men should live how they like to live and not how women expect them to live , confidence and being introvert are two separate things, you can be confident but still dislike talking to people , if they dont like you then put them in the dirt because none of them deserves you.

[Anonymous]

Not entirely true in every case. I was a skinny, ugly loser in school. It drove me to figure out what it really takes to be a winner. I did those things and became a confident winner that gets sought out by women, not just accepted.

Your fate is only sealed when you give in.

[Cocacolaaddict]

Yeah but its fake so its just a materialistic image it ain't real your better off just being yourself

[Opinion Owner]

@Cocacolaaddict so building my interpersonal skills, building my physical skills and strength, developing a better sense of style, and improving my education so I don't have to struggle financially makes me fake? That's like telling a world class musician they're fake because they spent ten years actively practicing their instrument instead of being a phenom from the second they picked it up.

[Cocacolaaddict]

You decided you were going to be something you originally were not I'm all for self improvement but there is a fine like between self improvement and fakin it till you makin it

[Opinion Owner]

@Cocacolaaddict who said anything about faking it? And so what if I made myself into something I originally wasn't? You act like it's immoral to go from a skinny 145lbs at 5'11" to a strong 200lbs. Or to learn how to talk to women instead of getting nervous and stammering. Or to put some thought into the clothes you wear so you don't look homeless.

It didn't come from faking it. It came from being realistic, understanding WHY I was a loser, learning what it would take to change it, and a ton of hard, uncomfortable work to get it done.

[Cocacolaaddict]

You seem to be getting angry over this? Its an observation m8 nobody said it was immoral except for you its just the simple truth

[Opinion Owner]

@Cocacolaaddict you assuming I'm angry tells me a lot, but nevermind that.

Do you know the deep psychological components that are involved in forming your personality?

[Cocacolaaddict]

Well quite clearly you are seeing as how defensive you are

[Opinion Owner]

@Cocacolaaddict ever heard of projection?

[Cocacolaaddict]

Look m8 I'm not bothered if you decided to change yourself I see no error in it I mean why wouldn't you try to better yourself when you can see flaws but if you went offended by this then you wouldn't have gotten so defensive and started explaining yourself which shows me there's a bit of insecurity there still I didn't come here to fight with you I'm stating facts and telling you how it is if you don't wanna accept it or try to defend yourself that's your choice I got nothing against ya man

[Opinion Owner]

@Cocacolaaddict see that's the rub: I don't have a single reason to seek your approval or defend myself. You got pissy and said that its fake, just a materialistic image, it isn't real, etc. without knowing a single thing about it.

I promise you: the education I worked for is real, the money I make is real, the strength and endurance I've built is real, the skills I've built are real, and the confidence I have because of all that is real.

Confidence comes from ability and achievement. Losers lack confidence because they don't have anything to BE confident about.

[Cocacolaaddict]

Well good for you man I hope its true no mate wasn't pissy just my humble opinion