It's a slap in the face when women and society tell men to just be confident! (Page 2)

[Arthur_Morgan_1]

That’s where you’re wrong. I moved to a different country and I have gained a lot of confidence. I met random people, and got invited to a party and I basically drove for an hour to a party, in which I knew no one. I am not longer afraid of social anxiety.

You can gain confidence and change. It’s not that hard it just takes some balls.

[lightbulb27]

thats an emotional thing, it's like telling a woman to not be emotional. they can't do it. You have to build confidence, you have to build emotional control. So yes, it can be.

[purplepoppy]

It's guys with zero ability, oozing incompetence and dumb as shit yet they brim with confidence that I can't stand.

[ryryryan]

Girlfriend, I kno the feeling but as a male this relxes me haha like ahhh this guy won't be cockblocking me ever 😆

[armleg]

With the exception of the confidence, i am this man. I am told to be confident. Its a slap in the face.

[awesometjgreen]

I used to think like you. The confidence thing is real, you just have to find yours. Maybe you need a little more validation to truly feel confident but I will say this, when you find it you will know.

[Clearblueskye]

While you complain, confident men are out there being successful and living happy lives. I understand why you’re bitter.

[es20490446e]

Simply: I don't care what they think I shall be doing, cause they are pieces of crap themselves.

If they were doing great themselves, then I would listen. The rest: bullshit.

[sp33d]

"Men don't gain real confidence over night like women."

What makes you think it works overnight for women? What has this even got to do with being a man or a woman?

[Browneye57]

Sure. So the answer is to simply be awesome - be a 'winner'. That's what I chose. :)

[madgoat]

This does not sound right at all.
Do not rely on those around you to find your confidence, rely on yourself.

[zagor]

LOL High School is a farce. College is far more important to where you end up in life. A lot of the "winners" in HS spend most of the rest of their days talking about what they did in HS.

[Xlink]

Stop being a wuss. a lot of Men are soft now. Confidence is not caring about what people think and taking whatever you want for your self

[Kdude010]

Confidence is easy. Just stop giving a fk about what women think of you. Women don't know anything about being a man, so why are you seeking their validation?

[Anonymous]

I mean there are a lot of activities that can boost self esteem but men are too afraid to do them bevause these activities aren't "masculine"

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Can you give an example?

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz
Massages
Manicure/pedicure
Skin care routines
Yoga/meditation
Affirmations /self esteem mantras

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I think "activities not being masculine" would be low on the list of relevance there. For all these things and much more, the more common and understandable answers are that these things either don't actually boost their confidence and/or they just aren't interested. I think they boost your confidence, not necessarily theirs.

This is all before getting to the part where confidence needs validation, but that's a whole other thing.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz they're "self care" which definitely is a confidence booster

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I don't agree that these are generic confidence boosters, but that aside, you think that this stuff is the confidence boost they need to succeed?
Do you see a guy getting a manicure and as a result having that confidence that he was previously seen as lacking?

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz those are just some self care examples... there's a reason why those who work in mental health stress the importance of self care

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Firstly mental health doesn't necessarily cater to men and women equally.
More importantly, you specifically referenced activities that you decided guys think "aren't masculine", so it's not even broadly about what could be considered "self-care". Rather, it's that those specific things and other things you might consider not to be masculine don't appeal to men for reasons other than what you originally thought.

To reiterate, we're talking about firstly the lack of confidence in men and secondly that the issue would be remedied by specifically non-masculine activities 'if only they could bring themselves to do them'. But we aren't talking about just any examples of "self-care".

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz those things are considered general self care. Most self care routines aren't considered "masculine". Male or female, self care has a direct impact on self image. I'm not saying its the magical answer for everyone but it certainly would make a difference.

[zeineboyy]

I workout it's a big confidence booster especially when you lift an amount of weight you could before, sense of progression

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I didn't say self-care couldn't make a difference and I would have given the example of working out as well, but this kid already stated that -- and it has nothing to do with the matter.

I'm not talking about whether self-care of any sort could be effective. I'm talking about your notion that men don't do non-masculine activities specifically because they are non-masculine activities, and I'm also probing at the implication that if only guys would do these things that they then would have that sorely absent confidence. I don't think either of those things are true.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz sure plenty of men do these things but many dont because of society

[AllThatSweetJazz]

So you're standing by the implication that if only men could do these things then it would fix a prevalent issue?

What does "society" mean here? Lets not deflect to an abstract and board "society" identify the specific sources. Also, while I do thin there are such sources, I don't think it's the cause of the effect you're pointing at.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz like I stated before, its not a magical cure all, but can certainly help. Yes, society puts labels on things that are "masculine"and "feminine"it doesn't make it right, buy it does influence us.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

"buy it does influence us."
Maybe it influences you. But does it influence them, that's the question. How does it do that, where does it come from and why does it happen? These are what I'm asking.

But you're not really answering so I'll say it.
It doesn't actually influence them because they don't care about getting a pedicure.
That's the how.
Now if they actually cared about getting a pedicure then it might come into play, so then where would it come from? Women.
Men don't give a damn about what the other dude is doing.
They care about how they can appeal to women.
And therein would lie the why.
On things that unlike a pedicure they actually do want, e. g sharing their emotions and finding acceptance from women, well then "society's" perception has influence over them. And really, who's opinion influences them? Women's. So when we're talking about "society" here, we're mostly referring to women and we shouldn't be dancing around that fact.

Lastly, putting these labels on things isn't necessarily right, it isn't necessarily wrong either. But that's a different question. More importantly, it's about how we're reacting to the world as it stands, regardless of right or wrong.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz again, like I already said those were just examples. And yes the general population is influenced by these labels.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

You're not even defending your comment at this point, just talking about something else. Whatever, guess we're done here.

[zeineboyy]

What are you arguing about I'll determine who is right from wrong an outside perspective I'm Belgium consider me a neutral party

[Opinion Owner]

@zeineboyy there's nothing to argue about, I don't know what this guy is buggin about.

[zeineboyy]

😯😟

[AllThatSweetJazz]

@zeineboyy Dw, she's either being disingenuous to avoid the contestation, or genuinely doesn't get any of it to the point where she can't even defend her own position. Let's just leave it alone.

[zeineboyy]

Kk thanks for the heads up my guy.

[Opinion Owner]

@zeineboyy defend what that self care can boost confidence? That many traditional self care things are labeled as "feminine"? Thats just how it is.

[zeineboyy]

Self care isint feminine or masculine that's just an excuse

[AllThatSweetJazz]

"defend what that self care can boost confidence?"
No. Defend that those things you mention and things of that nature are the things men have been missing -- not self care in general, because you're obviously not talking about self-care in general in your original response.

"That many traditional self care things are labeled as "feminine"?"
No. Defend that it actually matters to men, defend that this is why they don't do those things and ultimately why this is the reason they are lack the confidence in the first place.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz yet you can't prove otherwise? And AGAIN I said it isn't a end all be all, but it can help.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

The burden of proof is on you. You made the claim and I challenged it.

[zeineboyy]

Lmao so this is what you call tough love ehhh.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz what is so hard to understand about self care having a direct impact on self image. Dude, you haven't challenged shit. Calm down bro.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I said you’re wrong; that’s you being challenged.

Is English not your first language?

Why is it so hard for you to understand that I’m not arguing against self care impacting self image?

I’m taking about guys reactions to your examples and similar activities.

I don’t know how to make it any more clear.

If you’re just going to repeat the same thing again despite me explicitly saying here that’s not what I’m talking about, then I can only assume you’re being disingenuous and trying to deflect from it.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz examples are just that... examples... it doesn't have to be those exact things... I don't know what your problem is

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I said "and similar activities", which here means anything you'd call feminine that would also be congruent with your original comment.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz thats not how that works.

[zeineboyy]

U guys would make an adorable couple just saying

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Not how what works? You're not explaining anything.

I've referred multiple times specifically to your examples and *whatever else you consider feminine*, and I've contested your assertion about how you think men react to these things. That's what I've been talking about this whole time. But it's like you're not even responding to me at all and instead arguing with someone talking about something different who's posts I can't see.
Am I being punked? Is Ashton Kutcher about jump out at me?

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz there isn't anything for me to argue with you about. You can personally speak for yourself but its no surprise that certain things get labelled as "masculine"or "feminine". I dont have to prove common sense. And its bot like youve "proven "or "countered" anything either.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Again, you reference a point I'm not even arguing against. I'm not arguing against whether things get labelled as "masculine"or "feminine". Obviously that's true. You're just completely incapable of accurately representing my position, so we can't even have a discussion, let alone defend your position.

Basically, you said something.
I said I don't think that's true, explain it.
And you replied with what about potatoes?
And I don't know what to make of that, it's just unrelated nonsense.

So I'm done, I think I've demonstrated to any potential reader that you're full of it. I'm out.

[Opinion Owner]

@AllThatSweetJazz full of what? not gonna "prove" to you something that i really dont have to and if you took 2 seconds to actually you wouldn't have responded at all? 🤣

[joyboy12]

Good take but u can still rise from the loser status. Life is easier if your attractive thats something you can't deny

[HereIbe]

I can see which side you fall on, just from the sad, pathetic, whiny tone of your post.

[Cocacolaaddict]

Shut the fuck up dickhead the only whiny loser here is you iv seen you all around on women's post calling them disgusting bitches and cunts a mans allowed to speak his mind do us all a favour and piss off!

[HereIbe]

@Cocacolaaddict, thank you for proving my point perfectly. You're such a fragile little baby snowflake, buttercup. Must suck to be you, you poor little unfuckable. Why are you such a pathetic crybaby, crybaby?

[Cocacolaaddict]

Lol I guess that's why you call all women evil and bitches sluts etc. Talk about being a hypocrit lol nobody wants to fuck you

[HereIbe]

@Cocacolaaddict, funny thing, I call women "evil", and many women AGREE WITH ME. There's no hate like woman-on-woman hate.

[Cocacolaaddict]

Your a sad individual I pity you

[Mamamialetmego]

It's some what truth. But you can work on it (it's not easy i know) instead of bitching about it.

[MarketNews]

It sucks to be you, I get it. But society puts pressure on women too.

[alex_x988]

Lol confidence is sexy. I'm average looking but I slay 8+ girls!

[GraveDoll]

THIS

HONESTLY, this is a sexy ass trait.

So many guys lack and it just sexy as hell to meet a man that can hold himself weather he alone or with people. That what counts. Defining and punching the odds and a royale polite fuck you to the rest of those dumb ass rules we suppose to follow by this fake society we come to live in.

(always pay it forward
xo)

[alex_x988]

@GraveDoll and to add, confidence in bed too 😉

[Waterwhistler]

No, it's just a thought of the current situation that's all.

[JB_Krumpy]

The more you do something out of your comfort zone, the more comfortable you become.