Thanks for putting this out there! Based on my experience, you are absolutely right. We worry way too much about things that guys sometimes may not even notice.
Well, if we talk about fashion and the expectations of women being ridiculously skinny. It didn't come from women but men. Gay men have and still control the fashion industry. Thigh brow never made any sense, men have them too. but when there are women with fake breast, asses, hips, lips.. etc and the million other things that can be fake on women who gets massive amounts of admiration from men obviously women will feel like that is what she needs to look like. A lot of modern day beauty standards come from past beauty standards , however there are recent standards created by the Jenner and Kardashians. but women also know a lot of their worth is based on their looks and if we are being realistic we are all competing but so are men with each other.
I didn't even know what a thigh gap was until I just looked it up. Yes it looks good and is preferred but isn't mandatory. I would much prefer a girl be comfortable with the way she looks than go out of her way to change how she looks and never be satisfied.
My standards are quite high since I know exactly the type of woman I want both physically and mentally. I will not settle for anything less. I recognize the fact that these women also have high standards and that I must improve myself to be on par with them.
Most guys on GAG however will go for a girl with A or B cups and don't care as much about looks.
I figured you meant it like "some guys don't care much about looks, and will even settle for a girl with A or B cups." So I was like "Hey, some of us actually Prefer that."
Thank you. Heck, when girls started worrying about thigh gaps I had to google it or ask around - as did all my male friends - because none of us had ever cared about it at all.
A lot of these ideals are just girls making their own lives harder. If you're healthy and somewhat fit you're usually fine. Guys aren't that tricky. The only time you need to be excessively beautiful is if you're trying to make up for other flaws.
I really enjoyed this article it definitely brings to light gender bias on both sides of the spectrum. I would say it brings the issue to a point compared to articles that divide the sexes. Well written as usual, good read
I don't pay attention to my physical appearance too much, and I only do so when I have to look good in front of a potential employer, teacher, or classmate. Physical appearance does matter in professionalism. Since I plan to work in the healthcare industry, I am most likely going to wear scrubs and least likely going to wear jewelry, perfume, make-up or expensive clothes. I may save some precious dresses for special formal occasions, though. I have never really used make-up before, let alone go under the knife to have a cosmetic surgery. But maybe some light, natural make-up would be nice. Still haven't looked into it yet. Make-up seems to be so expensive; maybe I should start with a make-up starter kit?
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It's so funny, I have a lot of girls tell me they wished they looked like me and several don't like me simply because I fit females' beauty standards... but men tell me that I should gain a few pounds and they love curves. (I'm not underweight by any means) it just goes to show you how skewed the female perception of beauty is.
Excellent take. I agree but I think a lot of women will fall back on, but I won't feel attractive until I have a thigh gap, bigger boobs, a fuller ass, etc. Again that doesn't come from male expectations, as you said it's women projecting their idea of beauty onto others. I think a man needs to make his wife/GF/FB feel attractive to combat this. But it's so ingrained that some women will never believe that men don't care about those things.
Couldn't be more true. I am not going to dive deep into the whole "socially constructed" thing (because honestly i don't care, individuals are all very well capable of overcoming collective brainwashing) but the whole "women's expectations are high" is just so true.
Seriously, the ammount of girls that accepted me into any kind of romantic interaction will never surpass the number of girls I would accept!
@Dog19 Really? So, not lusting over fat ugly girls makes guys evil? What's wrong with wanting someone who lives healthily and takes care of themselves? I sense a little butt hurt from you.
Besides, as @GoodDogNigel stated, girls do the same thing, and in fact are probably less likely to go out with a fat guy as a guy is to go out with a fat girl. Quite the double standard.
Who doesn't want someone who they find attractive? Some men, few, find obese and unhealthy women attractive. That's you target range. Find one of those guys
I have high expectations /standards for a girl to be with me.
Honesty Polite Caring Usually happy Likes to workout Love what she does for a job Like animals Friendly Etc.
I've only dated 1 girl in the past 2 years because I couldn't find another girl that met my standards like her. I'm not shallow by all means, but your own personal standards differ from others.
@frozenhorizon Looks are good too, but what good are they if a girl doesn't have a personality, etc?
Having looks and the rest is luck so far I'd say. When I look at it, I'm not going to find a girl like this on Tinder or at the bar. Maybe, but not in my experience. So when I find a girl like this, I try to hold on. ☺
Yes it bothers me too, but I think it's because a lot of women (based solely on the titles) think I'm some anti-woman/anti-feminist hater or some don't want to accept the idea that men aren't the root of all of their problems.
I think it is really sad that there are many women who are struggling with these expectations that men supposedly have. Personally I'm really not that particular about any of them, hell I hadn't even heard of a thigh gap until I read about it two months ago. I really wish more women could realise this and stop worrying about it
Guys will date an average girl if they don't have access to a better looking one. But if a better looking woman is an option they would overlook the average one for her. Looks do matter because the prettier you are the better you are treated and valued by guys and society.
Brilliant my-take, I so agree, and I've noticed in myself that whenever my self-expectactions are higher than usual, I subconsciously project them onto others too. by the way, what the hell are thigh-brows?
Yes, but be careful not to flatter our ego too much. Not good for our health. Its not wrong for a woman to hold expectations. But she must match her own expectations before sets her eyes on her man. I feel women like that understand men better than the rest of them who fabricate such extravagant fantasies about men.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I understand your point of the media but as a woman who been told by men during dating that I'm not good enough by specific men in dating sites and in real life because of the skin color I was born with, I will have to disagree with you about men's expectations being lower than women.
Honestly so far I have only seen one female user reply and I don't see how anyone would be mad at this mytake unless they were already mad to begin with.
2
13 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
No offense, but it is no secret that most high beauty expectations come from women. I grew up with a lot of sisters so I know what I'm talking about
You do realize that you just contradicted yourself, right?
You disagree with me.
Yet it's no secret that unrealistic beauty standards primarily come from women.
It seems your situation is more personal than general. You're allowed to feel how you want but based on what you told me it seems more that you're speaking from negative personal experience.
It isn't that you're disagreeing, it's that you did contradict yourself. Essentially you stated in the beginning that I was wrong due to personal experience, which I feel isn't valid criticism because I did point out that there are men with unrealistic expectations but on the whole my opinion was the unrealistic beauty standards of women was the main culprit of these unrealistic expectations which you then turned around and agreed with. So you left me confused with whether you agreed with me, if you disagreed with me completely or if you were trying to offer me criticism. I could have just misunderstood you.
Oh it isn't an issue, but it's healthy to debate a subject. It's a good way to learn different perspectives. That's the point, isn't it? We're given the opportunity to respond and either agree or disagree with each other, I'm not attacking you but if someone comments on my work who I don't agree with I debate the subject.
Which we already established was just a misunderstanding.
I can't agree enough. What does a girl need to be attractive to me? A cute face, a personality I think I might like and an absence of dealbreakers. Obviously I won't be into every girl who meets those standards but someone will.
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Marlene Dietrich said it much more succinctly.
"Men are more interested in a girl who is interested in them than in one with nice legs."
She had famously nice legs.
Thanks for putting this out there! Based on my experience, you are absolutely right. We worry way too much about things that guys sometimes may not even notice.
Not a problem my friend. Thank you for reading.
Well, if we talk about fashion and the expectations of women being ridiculously skinny. It didn't come from women but men. Gay men have and still control the fashion industry. Thigh brow never made any sense, men have them too. but when there are women with fake breast, asses, hips, lips.. etc and the million other things that can be fake on women who gets massive amounts of admiration from men obviously women will feel like that is what she needs to look like. A lot of modern day beauty standards come from past beauty standards , however there are recent standards created by the Jenner and Kardashians. but women also know a lot of their worth is based on their looks and if we are being realistic we are all competing but so are men with each other.
I didn't even know what a thigh gap was until I just looked it up. Yes it looks good and is preferred but isn't mandatory. I would much prefer a girl be comfortable with the way she looks than go out of her way to change how she looks and never be satisfied.
My standards are quite high since I know exactly the type of woman I want both physically and mentally. I will not settle for anything less. I recognize the fact that these women also have high standards and that I must improve myself to be on par with them.
Most guys on GAG however will go for a girl with A or B cups and don't care as much about looks.
Some of us prefer A or B cups...
@OpenClose That's what I said
Ok.
I figured you meant it like "some guys don't care much about looks, and will even settle for a girl with A or B cups." So I was like "Hey, some of us actually Prefer that."
Thank you. Heck, when girls started worrying about thigh gaps I had to google it or ask around - as did all my male friends - because none of us had ever cared about it at all.
A lot of these ideals are just girls making their own lives harder. If you're healthy and somewhat fit you're usually fine. Guys aren't that tricky. The only time you need to be excessively beautiful is if you're trying to make up for other flaws.
I really enjoyed this article it definitely brings to light gender bias on both sides of the spectrum. I would say it brings the issue to a point compared to articles that divide the sexes. Well written as usual, good read
Thank you @OrdinaryGentleman
I don't pay attention to my physical appearance too much, and I only do so when I have to look good in front of a potential employer, teacher, or classmate. Physical appearance does matter in professionalism. Since I plan to work in the healthcare industry, I am most likely going to wear scrubs and least likely going to wear jewelry, perfume, make-up or expensive clothes. I may save some precious dresses for special formal occasions, though. I have never really used make-up before, let alone go under the knife to have a cosmetic surgery. But maybe some light, natural make-up would be nice. Still haven't looked into it yet. Make-up seems to be so expensive; maybe I should start with a make-up starter kit?
It's so funny, I have a lot of girls tell me they wished they looked like me and several don't like me simply because I fit females' beauty standards... but men tell me that I should gain a few pounds and they love curves. (I'm not underweight by any means) it just goes to show you how skewed the female perception of beauty is.
Excellent take. I agree but I think a lot of women will fall back on, but I won't feel attractive until I have a thigh gap, bigger boobs, a fuller ass, etc. Again that doesn't come from male expectations, as you said it's women projecting their idea of beauty onto others. I think a man needs to make his wife/GF/FB feel attractive to combat this. But it's so ingrained that some women will never believe that men don't care about those things.
Couldn't be more true. I am not going to dive deep into the whole "socially constructed" thing (because honestly i don't care, individuals are all very well capable of overcoming collective brainwashing) but the whole "women's expectations are high" is just so true.
Seriously, the ammount of girls that accepted me into any kind of romantic interaction will never surpass the number of girls I would accept!
Guys treat ugly or fat girls like shit because of their looks.
Then if a girl is skinny and pretty he's nicer.
All dudes want is a cute/ pretty hot girl.
"Guys treat ugly or fat girls like shit because of their looks.
Then if a girl is skinny and pretty he's nicer."
Can say the same exact thing about girls, and add in if the guy isn't popular or doesn't have a ton of confidence or social status as well.
@Dog19 Really? So, not lusting over fat ugly girls makes guys evil? What's wrong with wanting someone who lives healthily and takes care of themselves? I sense a little butt hurt from you.
Besides, as @GoodDogNigel stated, girls do the same thing, and in fact are probably less likely to go out with a fat guy as a guy is to go out with a fat girl. Quite the double standard.
@ForScience did I say anything about sex?
@dog19
He never mentioned sex either o. o
Who doesn't want someone who they find attractive? Some men, few, find obese and unhealthy women attractive. That's you target range. Find one of those guys
Not all guys some of us just want a girl that is kinky like them. lol
I have high expectations /standards for a girl to be with me.
Honesty
Polite
Caring
Usually happy
Likes to workout
Love what she does for a job
Like animals
Friendly
Etc.
I've only dated 1 girl in the past 2 years because I couldn't find another girl that met my standards like her. I'm not shallow by all means, but your own personal standards differ from others.
Well, what's interesting is that every one of the standards you list is about their personality / life choices, not about appearance.
@frozenhorizon Looks are good too, but what good are they if a girl doesn't have a personality, etc?
Having looks and the rest is luck so far I'd say. When I look at it, I'm not going to find a girl like this on Tinder or at the bar. Maybe, but not in my experience. So when I find a girl like this, I try to hold on. ☺
Great take, its a shame only one woman has read it so far when they are the ones who would benefit the most from it.
Yes it bothers me too, but I think it's because a lot of women (based solely on the titles) think I'm some anti-woman/anti-feminist hater or some don't want to accept the idea that men aren't the root of all of their problems.
I think it is really sad that there are many women who are struggling with these expectations that men supposedly have. Personally I'm really not that particular about any of them, hell I hadn't even heard of a thigh gap until I read about it two months ago. I really wish more women could realise this and stop worrying about it
Guys will date an average girl if they don't have access to a better looking one. But if a better looking woman is an option they would overlook the average one for her. Looks do matter because the prettier you are the better you are treated and valued by guys and society.
Brilliant my-take, I so agree, and I've noticed in myself that whenever my self-expectactions are higher than usual, I subconsciously project them onto others too. by the way, what the hell are thigh-brows?
Yes, but be careful not to flatter our ego too much. Not good for our health. Its not wrong for a woman to hold expectations. But she must match her own expectations before sets her eyes on her man. I feel women like that understand men better than the rest of them who fabricate such extravagant fantasies about men.
I understand your point of the media but as a woman who been told by men during dating that I'm not good enough by specific men in dating sites and in real life because of the skin color I was born with, I will have to disagree with you about men's expectations being lower than women.
Honestly so far I have only seen one female user reply and I don't see how anyone would be mad at this mytake unless they were already mad to begin with.
No offense, but it is no secret that most high beauty expectations come from women. I grew up with a lot of sisters so I know what I'm talking about
You do realize that you just contradicted yourself, right?
You disagree with me.
Yet it's no secret that unrealistic beauty standards primarily come from women.
It seems your situation is more personal than general. You're allowed to feel how you want but based on what you told me it seems more that you're speaking from negative personal experience.
I actually pointed out in the beginning that I'm speaking from negative personal experience
Yes disagreeing with you does not automatically mean that I'm contradicting myself.
It isn't that you're disagreeing, it's that you did contradict yourself. Essentially you stated in the beginning that I was wrong due to personal experience, which I feel isn't valid criticism because I did point out that there are men with unrealistic expectations but on the whole my opinion was the unrealistic beauty standards of women was the main culprit of these unrealistic expectations which you then turned around and agreed with. So you left me confused with whether you agreed with me, if you disagreed with me completely or if you were trying to offer me criticism. I could have just misunderstood you.
You misunderstood me.
It seems that way, so in that case: I'm sorry and thank you for your opinion.
I was simply stating my opinion, I did not know that would be an issue as opinions are very common on this website
Oh it isn't an issue, but it's healthy to debate a subject. It's a good way to learn different perspectives. That's the point, isn't it? We're given the opportunity to respond and either agree or disagree with each other, I'm not attacking you but if someone comments on my work who I don't agree with I debate the subject.
Which we already established was just a misunderstanding.
Yes I know. I made that comment before I saw your last reply, sorry. If I would have seen it first I would have never made that comment
No worries.
Are you talking about racism?
@Calex yes I am
I can't agree enough. What does a girl need to be attractive to me? A cute face, a personality I think I might like and an absence of dealbreakers. Obviously I won't be into every girl who meets those standards but someone will.
Sad but true. I've seen girls turn down guys because of the most insignificant details.
The thing I like about guys is how simple, easy, and direct they are. Girls, even though I'm not attracted to them, are way more complex.
disclaimer: my perspective is from a gay guy with many female friends, take it for what its worth.
Turned guys down for what insignificant details? Examples? :P