Inspired by @pitzi 's take. I figured, why not, I have literally nothing else to do. Just like hers, it's just for fun. Not planning on having an online relationship lmao
1. I have a lot of insecurities.
And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. I'm very insecure about myself, and I want someone who will be there to support me when I feel that way.
2. I'm indecisive.
I change my mind constantly. I still don't know if I want to adopt children (I won't be having any of my own, though) or anything like that.
3. I have goals set for myself that I refuse to let myself let go of.
I have things I want to do by the time I turn 30 and I will not disappoint myself. I want to be a musician. I want to do some modeling and photography. I want to work for and earn whatever I have. I have so many more, I could go on forever.
4. I have family issues.
If you like meeting your SO's parents, I am not the girl for you. My father has never really been prominent in my life (though I do have some issues involving him), and my mother and stepfather are just awful human beings that I never want to see again.
5. I'm not stereotypically girly.
I don't want any kids of my own. I don't want a big, fancy wedding. I might elope, but nothing else. I rarely wear dresses. I like my car and I like mechanics. I do kickboxing. I travel a lot and don't settle in one place. I don't have a steady job and I don't think I really want one. I don't plan to retire and live somewhere out in the suburbs. I will live in major cities probably for the majority of my life. I move on impulse. I'm impossible to keep up with. I listen to rock music. I'm not one for cheesy romance movies or caking my face with makeup. Being girly just isn't my thing.
6. I have mental illnesses.
I struggle with anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and psychosis. I'm unpredictable. Sometimes I'l feel really good about myself and I'll be super upbeat. Other days I might not even get out of bed because I'm depressed. I might have panic attacks because I'm reliving things from the past or I'm in a social situation I can't cope with. I get angry in a split second and could start throwing things at your head. I have to plan out the transaction before I order food, even from McDonald's. I wake up in the middle of the night screaming and having panic attacks because of nightmares. In general, I'm just abnormally paranoid. You could come home one day and I could be huddled in a corner with broken glass everywhere because I needed an outlet for rage. I know not many people can deal with it, but having someone there helps stop these things from happening.
7. I need my space.
Even with someone I'm close to, I need some time alone to process things.
8. Some things are very important to me.
I play music as an outlet and an expression of my emotions. I don't want to be interrupted or judged for what I play. I find driving therapeutic, and sometimes I just drive for a few hours to think. You could come with me, but I just need to look up at the sky and think about what's going on with me to process.
9. I know I'm a pain in the ass.
The things I want aren't always the things I get, and I know it's not realistic of me to expect them, but on some level I still do expect them. Over the course of one day, I could go from ultra-clingy to wanting to just be alone. I try not to annoy people, but I think I accidentally annoy them all the time. I need reassurance. I'm human, it's just what happens.
Thank you for wasting your time by reading this. I hope this really made you think about how frustrating I am. Bye :)