Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

Inspired by @pitzi 's take. I figured, why not, I have literally nothing else to do. Just like hers, it's just for fun. Not planning on having an online relationship lmao

1. I have a lot of insecurities.

And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. I'm very insecure about myself, and I want someone who will be there to support me when I feel that way.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

2. I'm indecisive.

I change my mind constantly. I still don't know if I want to adopt children (I won't be having any of my own, though) or anything like that.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

3. I have goals set for myself that I refuse to let myself let go of.

I have things I want to do by the time I turn 30 and I will not disappoint myself. I want to be a musician. I want to do some modeling and photography. I want to work for and earn whatever I have. I have so many more, I could go on forever.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

4. I have family issues.

If you like meeting your SO's parents, I am not the girl for you. My father has never really been prominent in my life (though I do have some issues involving him), and my mother and stepfather are just awful human beings that I never want to see again.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

5. I'm not stereotypically girly.

I don't want any kids of my own. I don't want a big, fancy wedding. I might elope, but nothing else. I rarely wear dresses. I like my car and I like mechanics. I do kickboxing. I travel a lot and don't settle in one place. I don't have a steady job and I don't think I really want one. I don't plan to retire and live somewhere out in the suburbs. I will live in major cities probably for the majority of my life. I move on impulse. I'm impossible to keep up with. I listen to rock music. I'm not one for cheesy romance movies or caking my face with makeup. Being girly just isn't my thing.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

6. I have mental illnesses.

I struggle with anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and psychosis. I'm unpredictable. Sometimes I'l feel really good about myself and I'll be super upbeat. Other days I might not even get out of bed because I'm depressed. I might have panic attacks because I'm reliving things from the past or I'm in a social situation I can't cope with. I get angry in a split second and could start throwing things at your head. I have to plan out the transaction before I order food, even from McDonald's. I wake up in the middle of the night screaming and having panic attacks because of nightmares. In general, I'm just abnormally paranoid. You could come home one day and I could be huddled in a corner with broken glass everywhere because I needed an outlet for rage. I know not many people can deal with it, but having someone there helps stop these things from happening.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

7. I need my space.

Even with someone I'm close to, I need some time alone to process things.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

8. Some things are very important to me.

I play music as an outlet and an expression of my emotions. I don't want to be interrupted or judged for what I play. I find driving therapeutic, and sometimes I just drive for a few hours to think. You could come with me, but I just need to look up at the sky and think about what's going on with me to process.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

9. I know I'm a pain in the ass.

The things I want aren't always the things I get, and I know it's not realistic of me to expect them, but on some level I still do expect them. Over the course of one day, I could go from ultra-clingy to wanting to just be alone. I try not to annoy people, but I think I accidentally annoy them all the time. I need reassurance. I'm human, it's just what happens.

Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

Thank you for wasting your time by reading this. I hope this really made you think about how frustrating I am. Bye :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First I'll say your mental situation is somewhat similar to mine. Next, what do you mean when referring to being insecure about myself, if you could describe what you're talking about. Finally, I'm not sure what your issues are with your dad was never prominent, but do you know the bigger chances are that this was due to the court system and not your dad? The system is against men.

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    • By insecure, I mean your regular old self esteem issues and such. Not all the time, but sometimes. It's more just a contribution to my anxiety I think. I worry about my personaloty, etc. My issues with my father are mainly about him a. leaving and b. raping me when I was like 2 or 3

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    • Wow, I'm sorry to hear all that. Thank you for the support, and I hope you're doing well now

    • Thank you and I have the same hopes for you, hope your doing well.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well that might explain why you can't, or won't, hold a job. Kind of hard to retire some day unless you had one. You are not alone though, may have disorders such as depression or social anxiety. But not quite as many as you have all on one plate. I honestly don't know how anyone can get help for that much or if there are meds that can even put a dent in the effects you suffer. Did your mother smoke or drink when she was pregnant with you?

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    • She did, that probably contributed. I don't take meds (aside from xanax) because they have effects on the other conditions.

    • Smoking and drinking when pregnant can cause learning disabilities and other problems. I know because I suffer from some because my mom smoked like a freight train going up a grade when pregnant with me. But not much we can do about it.

    • Yeah. Hope your issues aren't too severe

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What Guys Said 27

  • Having been with a girl who has a lot of the same issues as you. I learned the hard way how to navigate someone who goes through a wide range of emotions.

    I could ALMOST be with someone like you. The deal breaker is obviously the violence, I'm just not strong enough for that. If that weren't there, now having been there with someone else who was similar, I could do it if it weren't for the violence, throwing things etc..

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    • Yeah, I know that's pretty bad. I'm working on it, but I have been for a long time with not a lot of change. And before you ask, I've seen professionals for this in the past.

    • I wasn't going to ask but it is good to know. If you can ever see enough value in your SO that it always wins over your impulses then that would be very positive sign.

    • Yeah. Thanks for the insight

  • 1) normal for most
    2) most women to this
    3) normal for most
    4) normal in western countrys
    5) ok no worry many people accept it
    6) normal for most in western countrys
    7) ok thats normal to. Bit introverted
    8) nothing to worry about
    9) unrealistic wished require work. But it sounds normal and lazy.

    Summary: you are a normal person. So everything is fine.

    I am 100% sure there are a lot of people fine with you. You just think to much. Which tends to be normal

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  • Ok? What’s your point? You be you. I’ll be me. Who don’t have some kind of issues. You special but at the same time. Not special because there millions of other women when there own uniqueness. So your just your own unique.

    Wasting my time. Naa. I enjoy reading.

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  • Mad respect
    You'll find the one, just have hope and give it time.

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  • I respect you and to be honest.
    I hope you could date someone.

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  • I feel like every person is at least 3 or 4 of those

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  • None of those things listed are at all surpising in modern people; seriously it reads like a generic list of obvious personal points. I am glad that you realise that you do infact have flaws and you can at least generalise them into a list but that list is not a unique or terrible thing; you fit firmly into the standard and there is nothing wrong with that, it's actually a good thing :)

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  • I stopped reading when you said you wanted to be a model.

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  • I have the exact same 9 problems. I'm starting to realize I'm not so unique and my problems are typical.

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  • Yeah hugs you are okay, the fastest way to solving a problem is acknowledging you got a problem. You are half way there. Keep working.

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  • You know, I love the kind of girl you are and I think I'm good with emotionally connecting with people so I think I would go for a person who has mental troubles but you have all the qualities I like WITH KICKBOXING and SHATTERING GLASSES! That's the scary part for me. Being totally honest here, please don't be offended. As I was saying, acting out by damaging your surroundings (I get it, I used to do that a lot once upon a time) as a result of panic attacks and other mental troubles is a dangerous combination of events I simply cannot handle. You might (unintentionally) murder me someday if I'm around while you're throwing stuff around, probably breaking my neck with your kick!!! 😟🤕

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  • Sounds great and i am possible insane to so that's okay.

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  • I wish all women would present one of these beforehand.

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  • I found you easy to read. I get it.
    You have a hard time feeling like you have to force yourself to control your emotions?

    Sometimes it's hard for me to accept critisizm from someonne , or of, comming from values that are embracing the lowest common denominator and calling that the norm.

    It's sad when the best our mental health providers can do is to say simply, "do this because our society demands that if you can't be accepted; you must at least look like you're trying to to be!"

    So, they all want you to practice doing the same behaviors ten times/day until they become all you live and breathe. Then you will begin to live the way everyone must live.

    Whew!

    ;-)

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  • You have legions of demonds haunting you. What happened during your childhood is abominable, and is a experience that would leave scars to anyone.

    Have you done any research on your family background? From mother and father side? We can't really understand our present if we don't know what went on in the past. For sure your father suffer in extremes also, and is the only thing he learned, to inflict pain on others with sexual violence, we can ad that he may have or had some mental disorder that fuel his anti social behavior, anyway I suggest you to do a research and try to deal with mental illness you are living, having a psychiatrist, psychologist as guides.

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  • Is having a relationship in there somewhere, you laugh but at who?

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  • TBH i would then rather be friends with benefits and i would smash you, not date you :-)

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  • You sound exactly like my crush, and she was a real bitch.

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  • We should date! Lol

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  • Psychosis. That's interesting. Good to know.

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  • wouldn't mind :)

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  • Nice.

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  • You are normal.

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  • how do we deal with people like you on here?

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  • SO you are essentially the same as every other female, minus the "not so girly part" which can come or go depending on the female.
    ALL other things are basic female traits.

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    • Do not sterotype and generalize all women are like that. Sorry but Im not like the girl here

    • @kitty71 Learn the difference between a general statement and a universal statement.

      "Steel is stronger than Wood" - General statement. Is true in most cases, but there are exceptions.

      "ALL steel is stronger than ALL wood" - A universal statement, not a true statement.

      For the majority of women, these items are standard, that doesn't mean you have to have them all or that EVERY female does. This is a basic fundamental and logical understanding of human language.

  • Things You Should Know Before You Date Me

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    • If I met me that would be exactly my response lmao

    • you've inspired me to make a post similar to this.

  • no you are not mentally ill just stupid
    and damaged

    and if im correct your step dad touched you
    well your mom is stupid
    and your step dad should be killed if thats the case

    also your mom should be killed

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    • Why am I stupid, exactly?

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    • I somewhat agree but In a very very less rude way. I go to therapy and even the worst liar could get a diagnosis, I'm not saying you're lying. But I was diagnosed with being Para Suicidal, and depressed when really I'm not any of those as most of the time I'm dancing around to whitney houston, and generally enjoying life and being optimistic.

      If I wanted to, I could easily get a diagnosis of something more major, but being In an asylumn isn;t my cuppa tea. I'm not saying you do not have psychosis, but many therapists and psychologists find it much easier to just diagnose and then they can discharge you sooner, most of them lack behind with everything, and It's really a shame. Many of my friends hate therapy because of one therapist not doing their job right.

    • @anon Get out and shut up. She’s brave for sharing her story. Unlike you.

What Girls Said 12

  • What's the point of posting this? TBH it seems a bit conceited to say that you think the world needs to know what you're about because you're so... important?

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  • Well I've always thought it was important to tell people I was transgendered before entering into a dating relationship. This puts a lot of guys off of course, and everything ends. But surprisingly, this perks some interest in a lot of men. I'm not complaining.

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  • nice take. cool pic of Slash too lol XD I can relate to what you say about not being so girlish and wanting to be a musician. mentality wise I deal with depression but music is my go-to thing that helps BIG TIME.

    there's always someone for everyone. I know eventually there will be someone that would definitely love you for who you are XD

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  • Okay...🙄

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  • Well, shit... Welcome to adulthood b.

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  • Omg I would never date you🤢

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  • Fuck!

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  • No I'm a pain in the ass

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  • Good take. ..

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  • Excuse me but what's the points of this MyTake? Is this a dating site?
    You should discuss this with a therapist, I don't see how it contributes to the community

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  • I do not wanna be rude but , If you do not work on your issues no one will be able to date you long term.
    You have to work on yourself.

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  • Same.

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