Dating

My First Heartbreak😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️💔

So, what's bringing on this memory? Last night I was just chilling with my brother, and he decided to go on my instagram, I guess because he's just curious to see my ✌️social life✌️.

And he was scrolling through my followers/following lists and he kept on asking me who everyone was- and he scrolled so far down, he even started coming across people I met in Year 7 that I forgot existed now.

And that triggered all the memories of Year 7, and one of those memories was my first heartbreak and my first crush😂😂

I'm laughing because I look back at it now, and it's so stupid😂

Truth at the time😂
Truth at the time😂

So...

I met him on the first day of Year 7, he was in my form group, and our form groups were mixed age, and he was in Year 9.

For the first day of Year 7, we spent most of the afternoon in our form group, and after the teacher told us school rules and stuff I sat there in silence not knowing what to do. There were three other kids my age, two boys sat at the back- who I didn't know how to make conversation with, and a girl sat next to me who I didn't know either, and she'd already struck conversation with an older girl about hair-dye.

But out of nowhere HE talked to me.

Him: "Did you go to X primary school?"

Me: "...Yeah."

Him: "I remember you from there. I went there too."

Before I continue with the story...

Now you have to understand, I was 11, I didn't know how boys or relationships worked, it was my first day of secondary school, I got split up from my friends at primary school, I was really outside my comfort zone here.

And my thought process throughout this story literally makes no sense, because I was 11 so as I said I didn't know how boys or relationships worked.

I still don't to be fair, but I have a much better idea now, then I did back then😂😂

Continuing with the story...

Now after that ✌️conversation✌️ he turned back around and talked to his friend.

And I was super happy he talked me, he was older, he seemed cooler than me, he was handsome, he even smiled at me, and he was a guy.

Despite knowing nothing about this guy, for 11-year-old Spidey, this was enough for me to decide that I have a crush on him and somehow I convinced myself he had a crush on me. My logic was probably like:

He's a guy. And not a boy guy, an actual guy. He talked to me. He likes me.

I know that makes no sense, and I know now he definitely did not have a crush on me like I convinced myself he did😂

As time moved on...

I remember, we used to walk the same way home from school- and once he was with his friends and he decided to talk to me as I was walking home- I didn't really say much I was just happy/star-struck that he decided to talk to me and it felt kinda cool that I got to walk home with older kids. ...For that one day😂

And after that I just continued to stare at him😂

In form😂

On the way home from school😂

Around school😂

I used to go to our old primary school to pick my little brother up from there, and he had a little brother at our primary too- so whenever I used to see him there I sat on the bench and stared at him there too😂

And at Christmas time, I got super happy again- because our form was doing for old people- I think we were supposed to be making a hamper, and I volunteered to make the Christmas card for them😂

I basically got some card, made a paper snowman and stuck it on the card😂

At the time, this was the best piece of work I've ever done, but I look back at it and realise how ugly it was😂

Anyway, the guy I had a crush on smiled at me and told me he liked my card😂😂

And I was over the moon, I could've done cartwheels, broken into a musical number😂😂But instead I stood there with a dumb smile on my face😂

Now I really liked him, so I had a plan.

I had two plans so he'd like me back, and ask me out.

Plan #1

He'll just like me back somehow, and ask me out.

Plan #2

My logic was:

When I get to Year 11, he'll be a sixth former (in Year 13). Year 11 girls are pretty, so when I get to Year 11 I'll be pretty like them, and then he'll like me and he can ask me out.

How did both ✌️plans✌️ work out for me?

😂😂

Plan #1 never happened😂

Neither did plan #2😂

They were both dumb, stupid, plans- and I know they made no sense, none of this story makes sense though😂😂11/12-year-old logic at it's finest😂

A few months later...

So, I was waiting for the teacher to come, because the classroom door was locked, and they had the key to open it. So I was just waiting outside the classroom, in the school hallway.

And this is where the heartbreak kicks in😂😂💔💔

I saw him in the hallway too. With this other girl😂😂

And she was so pretty, her hair was perfect, her makeup was perfect, she was probably his own age😂- she could have been a model.

I was 12-years-old at this time, and I got a little bit jealous😂But then I thought they might just be friends...

And😂then😂they😂HUGGED😂😂

THEY HUGGED😂😂

And my logic at this point was:

Well, she's pretty, he's pretty- she might just be his sister

😂😂

And then... THEY KISSED😂😂😂

And not just a cheek kiss...

ON THE LIPS😂😂😂

FOR THREE WHOLE SECONDS😂😂

And my whole world came crashing down😂😂

That kiss, destroyed my whole at that point😂😂

It was like: queue the simple plan song, queue fix you by coldplay, queue baby by justin bieber:

"How could this happen to meeeeeeee?"

"Tears stream, down your face, when you lose something you cannot replaceeeee"

"My first love broke my heart for this first time"

"Thought you'd always be mine, mine"

"You know for you, I would've done whatever and I just can't believe we ain't together"

I was heartbroken😂😂😂💔

😂😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

Later on in that year at school, the teachers decided mixed-age form groups were not a good idea, because in some cases the older kids were a bad influence on the younger kids, so they decided to make forms according to our year groups again, so everyone in the form group would be the same age.

So we all got moved to a form groups where all the kids were are own age, and I guess I just kind of forgot about him😂😂

12-year-old Spidey moved on😂😂

Any last words?😂😂😂

Honestly, if I ever talk to this dude again, the first thing I will do is apologise for the weird staring because I think he definitely noticed and I made him uncomfortable probably.

Imagine having some ugly 12-year-old kid staring at you- well, I was that ugly 12-year-old kid😂

And I made it really obvious so he probably clicked on that I had a crush on him.

And I reckon he was talking to me, because he was just being nice to me, I went to his primary school, I did have trouble making new friends in Year 7, so he probably felt bad for me and just wanted to make secondary school a little nicer for me.

How I know that was the case, because as I got older I was the same with younger kids from my primary- I'd talk to them, walk with them and stuff, just to help them settle in a little bit better- because I understand the transition from primary to secondary school could be daunting. Especially when you come from a school with about 400-500 kids, to a school with over 1000 kids.

Then I couldn't understand why he'd want to date that girl over me😂

But now I totally get it😂

She was pretty, his own age, they were probably friends😂 I think any guy in their right mind would rather have that than a scrawny, ugly 11/12-year-old kid who says about 3 words in a whole conversation😂

Let's just say he was way out of my league😂😂

And after my little "heartbreak" (😂😂😂) we didn't really speak or anything again- I saw him around school but that's about it, and now I'm in sixth form so he's probably at uni, or he's working or something😂

It's funny because now I'm just like anti-relationship, like I don't want one yet, I don't need one yet, and anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest I'm just straight up in the friendzoning- I'm happy being single, less problems and drama. :P

I mean sure I'll get into a relationship one day, but not anytime soon- I've realised there's more important things in life, and quite frankly, I'm happy I never got into a relationship at secondary school like some kids I knew did, I just got to be a kid, I was a kid being a kid, not a kid trying to have a go at young-adult lifestyle😂

Anyways well done if you made it this far😂😂

Thank you for reading :) <3

My First Heartbreak😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️💔
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