1 mo

Is It Really Harder To Date These Days? Or Are People Making It Harder Than It Needs To Be?

What makes for a good date...
What makes for a good date...

This is mytake on how I see dating these days and the things I see wrong with how dating is being done.

Disclaimer: Now these are my views and my opinions. You don't have to agree. I welcome other points of view, but please do so in a respectful way, or I won't bother to respond. Any overly offensive responses will be removed. Just like if you haven't bothered to read the whole thing, don't bother to reply. No longer replying to those who just respond to respond without even reading.

Dating used to be something to look forward to and something that made you feel special, alive, "love in the air" kind of feelings. But I feel people are ruining it with certain actions. These are just some of the things I think are hampering dating in today's world.

Dating Sites

Good idea or not??
Good idea or not??

Now I know I'll get responses that that's how I met my spouse, and that's great if that worked for you!

But for the most part, I don't think dating sites are really working for the majority of people using them. Here are some reasons why:

1. Using for wrong reason-Some people are using these sites just to find hookups, not relationships. If you're profile states that, then fine. But some are claiming to want relationship knowing they don't. Also some just use those sites to pic collect or find someone to sext text or video sex with.

2. Misrepresenting Themselves-

Some people use a pic that's not the way they currently look.

Some claiming to be single are actually really married.

True story: My sister's friend was on a dating app. And another of their friend's husband answered her ad not knowing she was a friend of his wife!

Dating apps/texting gives you the false idea that you know the person by their words, or make you feel a connection that isn't going to happen for real in person if they weren't being truthful . Words are just words without action to back them up.

3. Multiple people at once-Now I know some will disagree here, but again the way I see it. It's one thing to be talking to multiple people to decide who you'd like to actually meet in person. But ,I feel once you do decide to meet in person, you shouldn't agree to meet with anyone else till after the first date. If there was a connection, why would you meet with anyone else, and not invest more time in that one person to see if the connection stays real, if it something that can develop into something more. If you're seeing too many people at once, how are you really taking the time to get to know that one person. It's misleading to you and the person / people you're trying to get to know. Me personally, if you are going to spend time on other dates with other people instead of choosing to spend that time getting to know me better, that's going to end it right there!

Is It Really Harder To Date These Days? Or Are People Making It Harder Than It Needs To Be?

Should that really matter

First Date Mistakes

People are putting too much thought, importance on little things that just shouldn't matter. Why? You're ruining it before it even starts that way.

Is who pays for the date really more important than the chance opportunity to meet someone special?

If you get too caught up in the details of the date itself, you're making it all about the date and not "the person".

How about a less pressure meet, than "date".

More intimate way to get to know
More intimate way to get to know

Me myself, I'd rather a picnic in the park or a similar barely any expenses way to meet someone for the first time. Takes some of the pressure and expectations off a "first date" . Less crowds, or atmosphere interference which makes it easier to concentrate, actually converse with your date.

Walk and talk
Walk and talk

To me, save the dinner date, or the going out for the evening for the second date if you both feel that connection. This way noone's whining bout paying for the date. Or expecting something just because they paid. Which is wrong anyway. Just because you buy someone dinner is no reason to expect to have sex with them. Sex should be a mutual want not an expectation/obligation sex. You ruin sex that way in my opinion. Which brings us to the next issue.

Expectations

Dont expect, FEEL!
Don't expect, FEEL!

Nowadays people have too many expectations. Of the first date. Of the kind of partner/relationship they want. It's one thing to have relationship goals. But expectations is a set up for failure. Goals are something you hope to achieve and are less set in stone and you're willing to alter if it's the person that truly makes you feel happy and loved. Whereas expectations come off more as a demand, love can't always be expected, sometimes it comes when least expected with the person you least expect. Too high or too many expectations can close your mind or heart to what might be what you're really looking for, not what you thought you were looking for.

Even though he was my second husband, knew him longer than my first. Knew him since I was 13 to his 20. And if anyone had said then, someday you and him are going to be together and have a family together, I not only would of laughed in their face, I'd of asked what they were smoking. He wasn't the type I thought I wanted. And if I'd of stuck to that, I wouldn't of had the 20 years I had with him, beautiful daughters and grandson I have.

Dont waste forever, you dont know when your forever ends
Don't waste forever, you don't know when your forever ends

Life is short. Don't waste precious time on little petty issues. Looks change, money comes and goes. The truly great people, the relationship, the core and heart and soul of a person, the life you share, and the memories you create together should be what matters most to you.

Sorry lol just had to use this image 😂
Sorry lol just had to use this image 😂

Take more time

People need to take more time to really get to know each other better.

You really need to take more time before you:

1. Enter into a committed relationship

2.Have sex

3.Have kids

People aren't taking enough time to really get to know each other before jumping into bed together or a relationship together. And then are surprised or bitter it didn't work out.

I'm not saying knowing someone better guarantees a lifelong relationship without breakup or divorce. But there is a much better chance of it if you just go slow, let the expectations go, let things progress naturally, throw the time clock out the window. Sex will be better when it occurs naturally. The relationship will be better.

Communication is key
Communication is key

Communication

And lastly, Communication is very important.

1.Don't wait till you're in the relationship to decide if you want children or not. Or when, how soon. That should be discussed prior to entering the relationship so you know you're on the same page.

2. Discuss the things that are most important to you and what is most important to them in a relationship. And maybe try telling them the things you are willing to do for your partner and your relationship instead of what you expect from a partner or relationship.

3.Sex (this one a little more tricky)

No, sex is not/should not be the most important aspect of a relationship, but it is a big part of why some relationships fail. How soon you have this discussion depends on how soon you take the relationship to that level.

If you're waiting till marriage before sex, you really need to discuss sexual preferences beforehand in my opinion.

If sex happens prior to committed relationship, moving in together, or marriage, you have more time to have this discussion. But the more open and honest you are with one another, the better chance of sexual compatibility. It doesn't happen overnight. The better you know your partner and the more comfortable you are, the better the sex will be.

"That's all for now folks"🙂

Thanks for reading 😘

"brainsbeforebeauty"

Is It Really Harder To Date These Days? Or Are People Making It Harder Than It Needs To Be?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • peachyknees
    You brought up some really good points. I think they are all centered around finding joy in sharing your time with another human being, rather than finding pleasure of doing a certain thing while ignoring human interaction.

    I can not say if dating is harder because I never had to date in my past, but I can say that dating nowadays is kinda hard. It seems like people are either trying to get it done quickly (hook-up), or trying to present themselves in a desirable light (as if they are going on a date to hand their ”I'm a great partner resume”).

    We often forget to see each other for what we truly are - human beings, with qualities and flaws. Instead, a lot of people - both women and men - follow some scenarios they already got in their head as if the person they are dating is a mere actor in their play. I think men have the tendency to be more focused on the sexual aspect, while women on status.

    I also think online dating is crap and potentially dangerous. I remember seeing someone describing a popular dating app as a ”wasteland of libidinous desperation” :D That sums it up very well, as an overall experience (I am aware, just like you, that there are exceptions).

    Personally, I came out of a long relationship a little bit more than one year ago, and after that I started dating. I was very inclusive - I dated both younger & older guys, with soooo diverse backgrounds. Now, as much as I like experimenting new things, after a month or two I decided I've had enough and now I'd rather stay put and mind my own business until something good comes up.

    p. s. - I like your take on going for a walk or picnic for the first date. it would remove a lot of stress and deception
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you. And same here. I never really "dated" . I just knew both my first husband and my second. And after the second died 6 years ago, I waited few years before even went on a few dates, but just seemed like they were looking for sex right away so stopped.

  • AudreyB88
    Most of my dating issues stem from myself:

    • I'm autistic: Most people aren't open to dating someone with autism (I tend to struggle with communication and the emotions of others). I can't get a date as easily as someone that's neurotypical.

    • I'm insecure about my physical appearance and certain aspects of myself. It's difficult to date someone if you feel terrible about yourself.

    • I've tried online dating (most people tend to ghost me), and in person (I'm not very approachable).
    Is this still revelant?
    • I hope it gets better for you

    • surprised me. so the big issue you think is you don't relate emotions like most people, so the conversation isn't as "typical"?

Most Helpful Guys

  • MuffinBoi
    I reckon that the reason why dating is harder these days is partially BECAUSE of the fact that some make it harder than it needs to be.

    If everyone makes up these arbitrary rules of men paying on the first date or not texting until a day or two after the date and you have a million different rules like this, all of a sudden, the act of dating somebody becomes significantly harder and much more of a headache.

    With the internet and dating apps now more popular than ever, it isn't uncommon for people to simply be dishonest about the way they feel (or even about who they are for that matter). Things like Ghosting or worse even, Catfishing come to mind.

    So as you can see, you can describe how much harder dating has gotten over the years, but in the end, much of it comes down to us, the irrational humans making it harder not just for us, but others too.
    Is this still revelant?
    • That was my point. It doesn't need to be harder, people are making it that way

  • Dongtai
    I don’t think dating in itself is hard. It’s finding people “you should” date versus the ones you want to date that’s hard. I encounter a lot of girls that I want to date but shouldn’t because we don’t match. It’s hard to find people I want and should date.

    Quality over quantity. Dating isn’t hard. Finding people worth dating is.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Very well said. And very true!!

    • Very well stated!!!

    • Dongtai

      To be fair, it’s no harder than it is in the animal kingdom. It actually might be easier, considering we don’t have to worry about being eaten every other second. Listen at night during the summer. Thousands of bugs giving their mating call for hours every night, hoping that one lucky other will accept that call. They persist and persist. Those who don’t give up are chosen while the others, well, you know.

      Maybe it’s not meant to be easy. If creatures we deem lesser intelligent can shovel through the bs to find suitable mates, I don’t think we have any business complaining about how hard it is for us.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1851
  • aWes0MeNeSs
    Great take! I agree with you!

    I'm certainly no dating expert, but I do agree that people make it harder and more complicated than it needs to be. I've also noticed that a lot of people still play games or make up ridiculous "rules" like in high school, and let those things overcomplicate everything.
  • chadpattan
    Wow, that's long.

    Permit me to focus on the question if you will.

    "Is It Really Harder To Date These Days? Or Are People Making It Harder Than It Needs To Be?"

    Yes.

    It is harder to date because of the influence of social media. People are being mentally swayed one way or another by what they see, which creates biases and opinions.

    However, I also agree that people, in general, are making it harder due to these biases and opinions.

    In the simplest form, a person should be able to meet another person, start communication with them, identify common interests and go from there.

    Today, that doesn't happen.

    There's an expectation that you'll go to a bar and meet someone. But if they're drinking, you can't really have sex because if you do, you'll go to jail because they didn't consent. Even if you don't have sex, you can't hug them because that might be sexual assault if they were drunk and couldn't consent.

    There's still an expectation that you'll eventually have children. But if one never wants children, it won't ever work. If one side is focused on the financial issue and the other just wants kids, it won't work.

    There's still an expectation that the guy is the breadwinner. But if the guy wants the girl to have a full-time job and she doesn't want to, it won't work.

    Then there's the "girl friends" who bash on the guy because they think he's ugly and not good enough for her.

    Then there's the influences of shows like Real Housewives and WAGS and all that nonsense. Which isn't real.

    Then there's the guy's mom who "wishes her baby would find someone better" and doesn't accept the girl.

    Then there's where one of the two of the couple doesn't believe in personal hygiene either because of animal testing, laziness or some other nonsense.


    There are so many things that get in the way of dating.
    • Lol wait you said my take was long and then your answer was just as long 🙂 lol but I agree for the most part

    • chadpattan

      It's all relative. Mine are not lengthy paragraphs, so mine is actually significantly shorter.

    • Well, yours is answer. Mine a mytake lol so mine should be longer 😁 mytake that is 😂

  • HawkPerception
    Tough to answer that question simply. It's hard to compare today's dating to back in the day's dating.

    Although I've been in a solid relationship for 2 years now, I personally think that today's dating is rough for most. Although we have the media seemingly making things easier for us by connecting us, it's actually making the filtering process much harder and standards to skyrocket because the world is at our fingertips. It's also a large factor in cheating and divorce becoming bigger issues. People don't really have as much commitment in relationships because they always compare to what they don't have.

    To put things into perspective, here's an example: If someone lives in a secluded primitive tribe their whole life away from the cultural norms of the world, they will not know what the rest of the world considers beautiful. They will not know about cars or houses. They will only know about their own culture. They don't care about cars because they don't know about them. They don't care about salaries because they don't know about them. In this case ignorance is truly bliss. It can be compared to the dating world nowadays in the sense that we know EVERYONE in the world and it has desensitized us. People don't care to fix problems in a relationship nowadays because they can just leave and find someone who fits the bill better.
  • Your 3rd point is what I think the problem is. I've been on a dating site for a long time and the ratio to guys and girls on the sides is way off. Even an average Joe girl is going to get her inbox slammed with messages after a couple days. The other issue is they don't just pick a guy, they have like 4 dates a week with 4 different guys and then can't decide who to date and just enjoy the free meals.

    When I think about it I want to say that 70 percent of the time i hear back from the girl the next day when I text her, then we text for about a week and I'll give give up when I realize she's not going to agree to another date. It's been the same story for probably 100 girls now, they just don't pick me.

    Now the other issue you mentioned was that people don't get to know one another. How do you throw in the towel after just one date? I would think you would give it 3 or 4 meetups before deciding what you think and that's 3 or 4 meetups with one person. After the first date I could tell you if I would fuck the girl, now the other dates would tell me if I could stand her personality wise and have compatible interests. I went on a lot of dates with girls who just didn't seem to have a direction in life and still lived at home. I don't really care if she lives at home or if she works at McDonalds, but have some hobbies, goals and have something your passionate about.
    • Very well said!!

    • Boycott online dating!

      It's really more difficult than it was before for both genders, but it's really two different sides of the same coin.

  • ArrowheadSW
    For me, it is harder dating now compared to the past. I think it is more due to the age group that I am in now, being more middle aged, than "the times". Lots of women with family issues or even recent divorce. Not as much free time so not as much time to just hang out and do things together. There are exceptions of course.
    • The time thing. Is it that people have less time? Or nowadays just don't take enough time?

    • Probably a combination of both. A lot of single women my age are dealing with family issues that draw away their time and energy.

  • lightbulb27
    I think it's worse at this age given all the "options" in relationships. Seems like you have to write a contract to state what you want. It used to be "male seeking female for marriage". Not so anymore... You really gotta know who you are and what you want and will accept or you'll be pulled in many directions.

    But... my cats have no problem finding mates... they still think the neighbor cat is "hot"... every now and then. Maybe we are over thinking it...
  • jmzero
    So there's a lot to roll into this question/opinion so just like you I'm going to break this into chunks and just like you this is from my personal perspective or experiences of me or close friends.

    1. Using for the wrong reason.
    This is often not as clear as a lot of women make it out to be. For many men (me included) we can honestly be truly looking for a relationship and at the same time be seeking the occasional hook up as well. One does not rule out the other. Only the success of finding a relationship rules out hook ups (or it should, but assholes exist). Another part of this to remember is meeting up does not mean connection and connection doesn't mean romance. its also far less likely for women to actually respond to us men or agree to actually meet. If more than one woman does, we will agree to meet both, in addition, we also let how the meeting goes guide the progress a lot of the time. I have met a few women where the connection was merely sexual not romantic even though we met under the intentions of finding romance.

    2. Mis representation
    This is a problem for both sexes but far more for women than men (in my opinion) womans pictures will maximize the effects of perspective to dial back things that may be construed as un attractive like the picture from above that just happens to show cleavage in a nice angle but hides that she's 300lbs. Or the abundant over use of filters that completely mask how a woman really looks. Men generally just try to accent muscle tone or stomach flatness. And men are far less likely to use filters for their face.


    The rest of your post I generally agree with so I'll stop here.
    • Do you notice how my take discussed what people do wrong. But you're turning dating into a man women gender labeling. No two women are the same. Cuz me, I'm damn sure bout going to date a man who thinks it's okay to be going up with someone else while deciding if want to get more serious with me. Nor would I do that to someone.
      So, you cut yourself off from all the women who would feel the same. So then your pick one narrowed down to the women who think that's ok and do that themselves. Oh, but no cuz then she's a slut right. See what you described above is what's wrong with dating. Just because your not having sex yet, doesn't mean it's ok to be having sex with someone else. I'm not going to date someone who even thinks that's ok.

    • jmzero

      I believe you have misinterpreted my statements about sex. We dont just bounce around until the one we want opens her legs. Those men are assholes.

      I simply meant we as men cannot afford the luxury of dismissing others because 1 women agreed to meet us. and just because a man is ok with having a hook up doesn't mean we are not seriously trying to find a partner.

      If you're here to have a discussion and hear other opinions then cool. If your here to tell us men how retarded we are then make a blog.

    • Where did I use the word retarded. I'm simply stating. I'm not ok with a man having sex one night, then going out with me 2-3 nights later. People treat sex way to casual these days. I actually knew got who had sex with one girl then went on a date 3 hours later. WTF if you're trying to date, you shouldn't be having sex with just anyone. You should be having sex with the one you do make a connection with. But if you do it different that fine that's you. But I personally would hold off for the man who is abstaining sex til relationship like I am. And they are out there. Because not all men are the same any more than all women are.

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  • Rangers
    People make it harder than it needs to be for themselves and others by putting on a mask in an attempt to cater to an incompatible person's needs and repelling the good people who would've loved them for who they were but they're too busy putting on a mask for someone else, so they're blind to that.
  • Djaay
    Well I will definitly say that this take was worth all my time reading and well designed , truthful and with all do respect... literally how most questions on gag should be. I am in total agreement with your level of moral understanding. Furthermore , your perspective is also Biblically a standpoint that merits behaviors suggested through understanding and committed relationships through GODS wisdom and portrays good morality. Well done...
    • Wow one of the nicest compliments ever on here. Thank you "so" much ♥️

  • nelly83
    I believe you're extremely naïve to think online dating is an effective dating tool. Those who do online dating tend to be introverts , perverts, people with mental issues, attention whores. Another reason why it doesn't work is because people tend to solely judge based off of physical appearance as the first screening factor. I have online dated for 3 years and never had a successful relationship.
    • Umm hope that was hypothetical, because "I" don't believe nor engage in online dating, and I feel it's part of what wrong with dating these days which I covered in this take

    • nelly83

      From my experience, typically well adjusted, social people with enough time to date, who can get dates do not tend to date online. Usually when people do online dating, they have a reason for it. I've been on so many terrible dates, I know whats out there and who is using those apps.

    • Did you read the take? I said dating sites is one thing wrong with dating these days. And I'm not even trying to date and if I was, I sure wouldn't do dating sites or social media. Other than this, I'm not even on social media. No Facebook, Snapchat. Instagram, whatever.

  • Dchrls78104
    The way I see it, dating is (unnecessarily) harder today because people expect more and are willing to put less effort and time into it. If anyone should argue, 'Life is short, getting to know someone takes a while', then they shouldn't date; because the harsh reality is that that's the way it is.
  • jgokgotit
    I fully agree with this MyTake. I think both are true. Dating is harder today due to cultural issues that were not considered before. Also, people make it harder with expectations and not knowing the true purpose of dating.
    • Thank you ❣️ Wish dating meant what it used to. But there's people saying dating means sex and it's okay to be having sex with more than just one person too you're fully committed. I'm not okay with that. So if that's what dating is these days, no thanks

    • jgokgotit

      I have given up on dating. It seems pointless to me today.

    • Ok at my age, no big deal. But breaks my heart to see someone your age feel that way

  • Silver158
    I think people tend to put their hoipes of happiness in other people instead of taking responsibility for their own happiness. Then they break up when the other person doesn't deliver immediately (istant gratification issues)
  • djmzes
    Simple
    • S. Cowell quote is funny given I think he was chasing a lot of chicky doodles at one point...:) Good quotes though.

  • BeingSingleBlows
    It definitely is harder. I agree with much you have posted. The only successful dating I've done is through online dating. Before that was a long line of rejections and no real successes or even a single date. I was 23 when I started at and thought I would never get into a relationship, find anybody, or even was worth any girls time. If the close distance thing has worked for you, that's great. But online I find a huge diversity of what people are looking for and it's no wonder why it's hard. People may be attached to personality, maybe a dominant person, maybe looks, maybe someone who is way older or younger than what they are, maybe money, etc. The list goes on.

    Anyway, while there are many who misrepresent themselves, I'm more of an optimist and do believe I run into more honest girls online rather than fakers. As far as multiple people at once, I think the exclusivity part comes when claiming each other as bf/gf but I understand your feeling about at first date. But it depends on how much you know them beforehand. If you know they are what you're looking for, I would agree with you. If you know relatively nothing, I don't see why it should be exclusive yet. I'm a guy that knows what he wants and can literally find out in a matter of minutes even before the date begins. In that way, it's more of a connection building date rather than an interview and know I'm not wasting time on someone I'm not a right match for. I search for similar values in a match. Sex is something I believe is something to be gotten into after marriage and not casual at all. The same I would want in a partner for compatibility. And communication is definitely important like you said. All those points are important.
  • Jjpayne
    This was pretty good! But if you don't find people on dating sites where do you look where girls will actally want to date and not be annoyed with you for asking
    • Out in the world. People say dating is so hard, but more people seem to be on social media then out living life. That's how you find people. People are everywhere around you. Put the computer down put the phone away. Not every female is going to get annoyed. I always talk to people, men and women, and if I'm hot on I don't act rude, unless they get really out of line, then that's little different. Are people really that way? Or do people just think people are like that 🤔

  • brennanhuff
    So if you want casual sex, the only way you should go about it is a drunken party hook up or bar? I'm wondering about this with people who are getting laid and like meeting people that aren't that way? Aren't you still dating even if it leads to something casual? Like at a bar or party, if a guy and girl have chemistry or a connection,. They are more often talking many times that night or a few hours before something sexual happens. Whereas if you meet a girl at target or cold approach and just talk a few minutes and get her number. Even if the next few days it goes well and you flirt, etc. I wouldn't ask a girl to just come to my place and I just doubt most girls even a promiscuous one would do that, even if she's attracted to the guy and wants sex. It seems like most women would feel the need to see the guy in person not at his home, because you can't get a vibe from someone from text and it's important to meet out somewhere., But then wouldn;t that be a date even if it's meeting out with the guy and his friends at a concert or bar or whatever?

    Like I said, even when one night stands happen at a party, it happens with more than a few minutes of convo for sure. I mean it seems like a date would be needed in other situations, I mean it would be kind of unwise for the woman or not safe to go to a guys place when only talking to him a few minutes and otherwise just text. Like I said, a face to face date would be essential even if a hook up happens from there. It just makes it seem like people talk about dating like it's only or mainly for a relationship, but it seems like a date happens if meeting in any other way than bar/party one night stand like I said.
    • Because some people don't consider hookup dating which that's not, that's just a hook up. This is about dating someone to find a real relationship, lifetime partner not just someone to have sex with

    • i thought a hook up was more of a one night thing though. If you talk to someone and then meet up like a date, isn't that a date, but you just hooked up after? or the next day or so? It seems like to hook up a date still happens unless it's a bar or party one night stand. Because like I said, I think even a promiscuous woman or most women would need and be a smart thing to do is prefer seeing the man face to face again for a period of time and not simply going to his place after texts. That would be an unsafe thing for a woman and why I feel most women don't do that even if they want casual sex.

  • GraceLight
    Dating isn't hard at all
    You get to learn for every single date you go, you build your character as well as know what you need in your life from a significant other to be whole.
    Always explore and you'll find the one
  • incelposting
    F* male standards are astronomically high to the point where 30% of men are incel and 80% are considered below average.

    F*males mostly use dating apps to get free food
    • Funny the only time I've ever heard the term incel is from men using that term, never a woman. And maybe it's not the women that's the issue, but your preconceived, gender labeling that's the issue. I'm not going to want to date or have sex with someone that has those views of all women. But thank you for responding

  • art84
    Awesome My Take. I think people have high expectations when it comes to dating. Maybe have realistic standards when it comes to dating and get to know the person your dating for a year before getting serious more with them.
    • Exactly. Nobody wants to take time for another to get to really know. If a man don't have time to call me, but text here and there, how's that getting to know me? And then wanting things to develop so fast. I'm sure there's women guilty of that as well, only said men cuz I don't date women lol

  • Ashleyrain22
    My biggest problem is finding the right person. I try getting to know people but then find out they only want to hook up
  • Slugworth99
    My son is 22 years old and has had a hell of a time trying to date. These stupid dating apps are worthless as is most of the people who use them. He will connect with a girl. Midway through a casual chat, he gets ghosted for no reason at all. I have read his text messages, and he didn't write anything inappropriate. He tried asking a girl about meeting some time, and she replied "I only want to digitally date." What? I guess she will be into digital marriage and digital children? It has been so frustrating for him and for us as his parents. I don't know what to tell him to help.
    • Yeah that dating app stuff in my opinion is bogus for the most part.
      Does he still go to school? Or any activities/groups or anything?

  • JackSmy
    WOW, not sure where to start, and some things I think I would reserve, as a 'gentleman' to a private conversation.
    So let me say, some things, not too personal:
    NO, dating is not 'harder' as I see it, but finding someone that is just that SPECIAL ONE, that makes you smile, and think about her, and can't wait to be with her again, yes, those connections, are harder to find. Anyone can get a date through an app!
    Maybe because of 'social crap' and 'expectations' and the idea of 'hook-ups' that so many seem to have! All of those things, confuse the process of finding that special one!
    I never understood why so many say they are this, or that, on dating profiles, because when you actually meet, they will know you were lying!! What is the point?
    I am, who I am, and if she likes me, that is AMAZING!! I will never pretend to be something I am not, and on here, anyone can read my past posts, and read what I said, and who I support, and what I value.
    • I just don't do dating apps. Don't trust them

    • JackSmy

      @Brainsbeforebeauty Me either! Tried them, once, long ago, and they came back with really bad matches!! Apps suck! But what does that leave us with?

    • Meeting people in real life the way used to?

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  • Moonchild714
    I've never thought Dating was difficult not now or back in the I always found it to be fun and easy... Relationships now that's a different story!! Nothings changed over time still depends on the Individual how Dating and Relationships go.
  • MannMitAntworten
    Both. It is harder and people are making it harder. Internet dating definitely added layers of complexity that did not exist prior to the net.
  • Midnight_Kiss
    It's harder in my experience because it's too impersonal and vanity based.
  • LucilleBaby
    It is hard to date now a days. For me it is anyway... just came out of a 9 yr relationship... and I guess I forgot how to date lol. And meeting new guys is a challenge... ur either looking for the same guy u were with or someone totally opposite... it's doesn't work either way...
  • Reaperbot666
    most often making it harder then it needs to be. since a lot of people get sucked into there phone or social media quickly.
    • Yes that's another thing that should be on there. Wish could edit, but can't edit mytake

  • BroodyRuby
    I don't approach people and was never really approached by others. I also work full time and don't really get out much on top of that. Dating sites were really the only place I was getting any interaction with potential partners and did actually meet my boyfriend! I think that with dating sites/apps, you get a lot more exposure to a lot more people and that can be a good and bad thing. You have to sift through a lot of duds this way but can find some gems as well. I think they are nice to have, you just kind of have to stick with it and eventually you can meet someone great! I would have never met my boyfriend without it as I can't think of a single place we would have ran into each other at
  • brodycarmody
    No i think its really harder people seem a lot more single minded nowadays and most seem to approach dating as expecting it to fail.
    • But, that's still people making it harder

    • But society tells us all especially females nowadays that you dont need a man in your life to be happy so thats the mindset people approach dating with. So yeah i guess people have made it harder because the actual concept of dating hasn't changed.

    • If you listen to society, instead of yourself? Who's fault is that? Society , others don't define me, my sex life, my relationship. No that's between me and the person I'm with. If you let society interfer or determine your relationship or your views, that's really on you, noone else, no offense, just saying 🤷🏼‍♀️

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  • simplelikeme
    I think people are making it harder than it needs to be. And it's really unfair to the other person because they may not be like the same guy or girl that they were with before. I think that people don't give the other person the benefit of the doubt as they should. And also because they probably have issues from previous relationships that they never got over.
  • Smegskull
    You are at a restaurant you like say 20% of what's on the menu and there are 12 main course options. Is it easy to pick a meal? (Yes probably, your choosing between 2 or 3 things you like).

    Same scenario now the menu has 1200 main course options... Good luck with that decision.

    That's the difference between traditional dating and modern dating.
  • Unit1
    I swear on money and on mammon that many people create problems like they create new folders on their phones and computers out of thin air like they need stress and drama as part of their physiological needs to survive. Were they born with a silver spoon in their mouth or what?

    with that said, yeah, many people do make dating much harder than it has to be. They're Like eating soup and instead of using a spoon they say "screw the spoons. I'll eat my soup with A fork. Because F you, that's why".

    or my personal favorite (true story, happened more than 3 times by now): Girls ghost me because i don't have social media. When i tell them this they suddenly lose all interest and never respond. That's fine by me. With such a shallow dealbreaker I wouldn't want them anyway.

    what happened to just, you know, going out and enjoy spending time together hmmm? The company of each other. Speak. Do something fun together.
    humanity has fallen it seems.
    • I so agree. I'm the opposite. If a man has too much social media, I think that would be an issue for me personally. I'm not on social media other than on here, and Skype that I rarely use. I want phone call verses text or real get together. And people will say they're too busy but then be on social media for hours. Hours you could if spent with me, getting to know me or enjoying my time 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • Unit1

      Stuff like this proves that the crowd can be very easily manipulated.

      First it's the TV and the media and the news.
      Then with the rise of the internet Now its social media controlling the same crowd, who think they've escaped from these propaganda stations. Spoiler alert - Zuckerberg and Google took control over you already by their secret influences on you.

    • Lol why I don't do social media 🙂

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  • Darknut
    Can we get past the whole he's interested but I'm leery to as why and overanalyze a guys intention and totally miss what a relationship is about first? Smh always thinking their are ulterior motives. always.
  • fgalvan
    Yes a lot more both sides have demands off the bat can't be this age but can be this. They focused on the wrong things shallow things.
  • MannySimms
    I started dating in 1962. Yeah I know. Things were VERY different back then because people respected other people. Dating was fun so dating relationships lasted many months.
    "Just because you buy someone dinner is no reason to expect to have sex with them."
    True, but back in the day a common question was "Did you get anything offa her?" So, the sex thing WAS a goal for males. We loved the girls labeled "easy".
    It IS harder now. I dated until age 69. Women have trust issues with everyone they meet. One potential partner said "Oh, by the way, I have an std. How nice. The honesty thing works both ways and it IS a jungle out there.
    I started dating men at age 55. Totally different. There was ALWAYS sex play on the agenda and a complete lack of bullshit. Good times complete with orgasms. Go figure. I wonder if it's the same for 2 women?
    • Ok that's just looking for sex. Not everybody is looking for just sex. Some people actually do date because they are looking for a partner. And sex should never be expected. If you expect it from me, try to make it an obligation, you can expect not to get it! Sex is not something to be bought and paid for. If it is, then go pay a hooker

    • MannySimms

      A hooker is sage advice. Take it to a pro for a superior product. So many women STILL treat sex as a reward. We're supposed to believe that they don't enjoy it. Right...

    • Sex should not be a reward any more than an obligation. Women don't say they don't enjoy sex. Men are the ones that claim women don't enjoy sex. Funny cuz I haven't talked to women on here who said they didn't enjoy. But have talked to a lot who do. Again tho, when it's mutual. Buying me or any woman a drink or dinner obligates sex. And if you think that way, are you not the one treating sex as a reward? Not the woman?

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  • Shamalien
    well clearly people are making it harder, as dating is comprised of people!
  • txbiker636
    I think it's so much harder to date today because there are so many different ways to be fooled and "catfished"
    • Why maybe don't do the online dating thing. Hard to be catfished in real life. And take more time so you know not being fooled. The real person's true colors come through the more you get to know them

    • txbiker636

      This is true but now days it doesn't necessarily have to be online to be fooled. Cell phones are just as dangerous and I feel like most the younger generation spend majority of their relationship on the phone.

    • Agreed. Should of put that in there. Text is no way to get to know someone. And data on phone makes it too easy to hide that you're texting other people. That really should of been part of the take. My bad

  • Im a 23 yo virgin and I really want to date but a lot of the things you mentioned in combination with me being very unconfident with women make me feel hopeless. I feel like if I do get lucky enough to get a date i will only get ghosted. I feel like most of the girls just wanna hookup with sexually experienced men and wouldn't waste any time on an inexperienced virgin like me, and hoping to meet a girl that doesn't feel that way and shares similar interest with me and is also attractive is asking for way too much nowadays. Makes me very sad, Im even fearful of falling into a depression one day.
  • ThatGuy133
    Yes it’s way harder than it used to be. A guy used to just compete with all the local yokels but now with social media and dating apps you are in competition with everyone within a 50 mile radius and anyone your hypothetical date could know.

    if you do manage to find someone then you have to provide the best first date experience. Shoot your shot but 9/10 times it’s shot and you miss.

    And don’t get me started on the people you find. They all have their perfect guy/gal and after hours of swiping they settle for the person that doesn’t immediately make them vomit.

    im cynical to be funny but hell yes dating has been blown out of proportion
  • jabbahut
    It's a very interesting question, and I think you've made some decent points, I think expectations of both sexes have definitely increased - both are more picky these days and it makes it more difficult to find common ground or compatibility.

    My feelings:
    More choice makes dating harder - online dating/Tinder has only made it more difficult
    Expectations have rose - compromises are needed when dating to be realistic, it's like a negotiation without compromise it's pointless bothering
    People are not direct - they don't know what they want or why, mis communication being sexes.
    Polarization with politics - won't date someone with opposite views, years age this wouldn't have been such a issue.
  • i1T2daty
    The more contrived the environment the worse the chance for a mutually rewarding relationship. The reason the most successful relationships are formed in academia is that you are exposed to many different people with different interests and viewpoints. Beyond that, you usually are forced to find them in apps/bars/work. Apps are iffy, work is tricky because of litigation, bars tend to be "leftovers". Anyplace where finding a match isn't the general point but remains a possibility has a decent chance,
    Traveling, especially if you're bold enough to do so alone, group sports, , e. g. softball tennis, golf, anything with a large enough group that sounds like it might attract interesting people. are the most target rich environments
  • Lman3000
    Of course people make it harder than it needs to be, Why? Time, that's why, we somehow get dumber as the years go on
  • lovedejj_xo
    It’s hard but I mean complaining would do nothing so it is what it is to me.
  • R3DthatDude
    Social media has made us less social. The ability to just have a conversation has been reduced
  • FatherJack
    This is a great take , and completely agree with your " keep it simple.. with REAL interaction " principle. To me , and for men more so than women , dating seems like a chore , also , being a single dad ( which is my own doing , no complaints here ) I am at a huge disadvantage , there are considerably more available men than women , as there are more men than women from a male heavy birth ratio , combined with the growing trend for single women opting out of anything more than platonic interactions with men. A man has to tick a LOT of boxes to even be considered dating material.

    I am glad I'm no longer a hormonally charged young guy anymore and my Male Curse has greatly faded. Also , and again thankfully , I have little need for people and prefer own company. Men are automatically viewed with suspicion , even if you have the best of intentions !!
  • Kdude010
    Its harder. With feminist running around preaching their misandry and hate for men, females find it hard to trust men and now, it's vice versa with men also finding it hard to trust women.
  • lovelifeeverday
    Tech is making people go false and makes them look for perfect things
    • Whats your thoughts on a fully hard 5.9 inches length penis and girth of 4.8

    • LeoElias

      Fucking nerd lol

  • JimmyQ
    Dating has always been scary. I once had woman who called the police because she was convinced I was a wanted criminal. I also had the misfortune of dating a woman who thought I was Satan.

    Being intelligent and good looking is not a crime, so, needless to say, I was released immediately with fall down to your knees apologies.

    Face it. You chicks are weirdos and man are taking their chances by going in the deep grass with you. Once you learn you can't ride us like donkeys, you look for the nearest depository to dump us.

    It is really pretty sick on your part, but, again somehow we survive.
  • zario
    Honestly just date people to find what your looking for in someone
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