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How to be Successful on Dating Apps!

Alice2398
How to be Successful on Dating Apps!

Dating apps get a bad reputation for only being for people who want sleazy hookups and not a serious relationship but I've heard of many success stories including my own and im gonna share the do's and don'ts of being successful on dating apps.

Creating a profile! It's ture looks do matter.

Most importantly your profile is gonna need some photos of yourself, id suggested 3 to 4 maximum you don't want to come off vain. Use genuine, natural pictures of yourself out being social and having fun most importantly with a genuine smile on your face. If you don't have photos like this get someone close to you to help you out and take them when you are not noticing but also laughing and having fun, being care free and looking your best.

Don't use forced overly posed selfies of yourself or photos that look like you had a photo shoot it comes of cringy, vain and if your unfortunate in the looks department also very creepy . You're looking for a meaningful relationship not a modeling contract. Also don't show pictures of yourself in groups it gets confusing which guy or girl you are and if so only one and crop the others out for their privacy.

I'm not gonna be Miss photogenic 2020 but ill share some of my pictures i used on my old tinder as example 😅.

Im covering my eyes for my own personal protection and privately.
Im covering my eyes for my own personal protection and privately.

See how im not wearing my best clothes and have a natural smile and makeup, also my arms are never crossed it gives off a friendly vibe. A good way to make it look natural is by holding something like a drink, football etc anything that shows you are out going and social to a certain standard.

Also no cat fishing this person has to like you for you. You will get no were being dishonest about how you look in the real world. show one or two pictures that show some of your body.

Without sounding shallow if you purposely hide your body and you are not what that person expected on the date physically it can lead to some awkwardness when meeting. Trust me people are not as shallow as you think some people like guys and girls with a bit more meat on them just as long as your honest about it and if that person doesn't then it's not meant to be unfortunately.

Writing your profile

This one is difficult for me as my friend wrote mine for me as he signed me up without me knowing and created my profile. One thing i will say is what attracted me to my now boyfriend is that he didn't write to much about himself, he just but a little information about himself which left me to ask questions more in depth about the information he did share and lead to learning new things about each other and have open topics. Don't write something cringy or cliche. Just write something interesting about yourself and what you're wanting from the dating app but don't try and be to serious have fun and humor in what you're saying.

My boyfriends was so basic he literally wrote something along the lines of "volunteer for charity, self employed gardener, have a couple tattoos" just be basic in what your saying no ones gonna stop and read your whole monologue whilst swiping left and right.

Be honest with your intentions and don't be desperate.

This mainly goes out to the guys on here but i know some girls can be just as equally the same with this. But if you're going in first thing into the conversation flirting and being sexual before even meeting it won't work out as in person thst person will have to face the music when on a date with the person and they will probably just assume your in for hookups.

So probably best to just start with a normal conversation starter, you might get ignored a couple of times but eventually someone will reply just saying the usual "hi how are you?" and progress from that then casually ask why they joined the site and what they are looking for midway. That will filter out the serious people from the ones who want to just have sex pretty easily. If that person is not interested in a relationship don't stick around that it as they first said it and leave whilst you can.

If a girl or guy is looking for excuses not to meet up they are probably cat fishing you or just don't want to hurt you feelings and if they straight up say no take it as it is and move on don't constantly beg its not attractive at all and if they said no there's no point in trying to change their mind.

How to keep the conversation going

. Check in on them daily just by saying "hi hows your day going?" shows you care and are generally interested

. Be humble when talking about yourself don't brag to much

. Be wholesome, talk about the simple, relatable stuff like family, friends, pets, work, hobbies etc. Especially guys don't be afraid to show your softer side by talking about your mum or sister and using them for examples of relating to her shows you have a good relationship with the woman in your life for example you ask her what kinda TV she's watches. If she says something like gossip girl just be like "oh yeah think i may have watched that with my sister once or twice "

. Ask them lots of questions about themselves, people love talking about themselves and it also gives you more information into what kind of stuff they bu be into which can help when you finally meet for a date.

. Don't rush things, only ask to go on a date when you feel like you've gotten to know them well enough.

. Ask for their WhatsApp not Snapchat. Snapchat gives off the wrong impression sometimes as if you just want nudes. WhatsApp kinda tells them you like them enough to give them your number and its abit more exclusive then tinder etc. Shows your more commited and serious.

Girls wait for him to ask for the date

As sexist as this may sound wait on the guy to ask. If your into other girls just go ahead and ask. Straight girls sorry but if he doesn't ask you first he's not that into you. Im not saying you can't hint at a date but if you're hinting don't be subtle with it men don't take hints very well. When he talks about his hobbies just say "maybe we could do that together one day" for example or just full out say "so when you gonna ask me on a date?" but don't ask yourself, i don't know why myself but talking from experience most guys don't respond well to it or seem confused when you do.

Planning the first date

Most guys have no idea how to plan a date no offense so be straight forward lady's and help him out. Most guys will just want to make you happy and do what you want to do the activity on the date isn't what really matters to guys they are just more focused on you rather than the date it's self. So if he asks what you want do just tell him and don't be shy about it as long as it isn't something crazy or expensive.

Also avoid restaurants on the first date, it's a really bad idea because if the date starts off awkward you've gotta sit there and wait till you are about finished eating to leave. I'd suggest a bar its in an open environment you can relax and just talk and if things aren't going well you can easily leave.

Tell a friend or loved one were you are going and keep them informed on your where abouts and who you are with to be safe. Also meet somewhere both local to you so you know were to go if you feel unsafe or have someone here who you may know who will get you out the awkward situation and have your phone with you at all times and never leave your drink behind when you go toilet .

First date rules.

. No sex on the first date

. Pay equality unless the guy insists on paying just take it as a compliment

. Don't be on your phone

. Don't just talk about yourself

. Be polite

. Dress smart casual and be well groomed

. Listen to what your date is saying

. Tell them if you're nervous

. Men try your best to be a gentleman but don't go to fair with it and don't expect anything in return besides a thank you.

. Don't be late and if so text them a hour before that you will be late

. Don't bring up exes or anything serious that could darken the mood

. Don't talk about politics or religion

. Two drink maximum. Don't want to be drunk

. If the date was a success text them later on or the next day saying thank you for a wonderful date and ask to meet again.

. No sex before monogamy

Good luck 🤞

How to be Successful on Dating Apps!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • BeingSingleBlows
    I'm not so sure I'd follow all those first date rules. I wouldn't focus too much on looks. I usually just look at if she has a pretty face and the other stuff in photo don't matter to me. I was in a successful online relationship for three years. One of the things I'm mainly looking for is a woman of faith, a Christian. I look at a person's values. If talking about religion or politics. Just don't talk about the news or what's going on that the president did last week. Its okay to talk about values though. Like if you support abortion or not, or whatever else you care about. Also, I would say almost anything goes as for questions if its what you are looking for. Otherwise I feel like I would be wasting my time on the first date of not getting what I want to know. I'm a guy that knows what he want and can find that out in 5 or 10 minutes or less. If I dont find that out on the first date at the latest, its a no from me.

    As far as profiles go, I'd say if you are serious, you'd put all that you are looking for in a match and as much about yourself as you'd like (people look for so many different things, so it's guess what exactly to put). I usually read the profiles.

    Video chatting helps a ton. If you are very far away that is. I'm not so much of a fan of just texting all the time.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Alice2398

      You sound very old school but some of what you say i can agree with. I think its important to talk about values also. One of the first things that attracted me to my boyfriend is his family values and i like to know what im getting myself in for beforehand if im not getting what im looking for that means i can get out before its to late and tells me something he loves Jeremy Corbyn or that he's a vegan.

    • Yeah. Id say I'm more traditional old school.

  • Great writeup, obviously... it worked for you.

    I disagree with drinking at all. The only place you should drink is at home well after you are comfortable with that person, and even then, I question it. My advice to all, in spite of the society... don't touch alcohol. I know the desire to take that edge off... but that edge can keep you safe. If you need drugs to feel ok, there is something wrong, get a therapist

    I wonder about using the new inventions to test for spiked drinks... straws and nails that test the drink.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Alice2398

      Well in that case id suggest going to get a milk shake or ice-cream something you can eat or drink quick enough if the date starts to get bad

    • A+🌹

Most Helpful Girls

  • kymberz
    wow! you really put some thought and time into this - i hope a lot of people read it because you make a lot of sense! if i ever went on a dating site - i would follow all of your tips! thank you for sharing!
    Is this still revelant?
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

118
  • motownplayer2000
    Lol I prefer the way we did it before the apps. Go out, be in a social event, talk to a random girl, hit it off, exchange numbers and keep in contact... that's full proof.. dating apps will only get you so far.
    • Alice2398

      I totally agree with you but if it wasn't for dating apps, i probably would have never met my boyfriend as he lives the other side of my town so im really grateful as i wasn't having the best look with the men i already knew or met whilst out. Unfortunately my generation are very anti social as we've grown up with texting and such and real long lasting relationships are becoming rare so it was nice to finally meet someone with common ground who wanted the same out of a relationship as me and not just a hookup like most my age are into.

      I was so lucky to have found my soul mate over tinder, it would have been nice if we met out and about but im just happy i got him, even if the way we met sounds strange.

    • I'm not judging you are hating you for that... you have to do what you have too. I'm not mad at that

  • Guffrus
    Hate to burst your bubble there lady but there isn't a snowballs chance in hell i am going to waste my time getting anything like close to a date without having screened your for politics and religion.

    What would be the point?

    What you have written here isn't the generic how to be successful on dating apps that you think it is, its how to be successful dating specifically you.
  • Mindwipe
    Good, but most of this advice could be filed under 'no kidding?'

    It also doesn't change the fact that dating apps are grossly male heavy on usage and that and decent looking chick will be looking at 50 to 100 profiles that are just as slick looking as yours. You'll be lucky if you're noticed and even luckier if she messages you back.

    I think it's a better use of time to go out and meet people IRL.
  • JohnVannie
    Great Advice. I am in a situation where I will use a Dating Site/App. Looking at reviews on Eharmony and Match. Seems like Match is better though I'm not entirely sure if most people on there are looking for long-term relationship/marriage like eharmony. There is a few things I want to get done first before I start dating, so it be around Late July when I put myself out there. I'm a bit rusty and rough around the edges. 7 years with no dates or relationship.
  • pizzalovershouse
    Dating sites mainly have bad people trying to make money off people but the site won't say that they say we have good matches an many marriages that happen from our site when you find out lots of the times there facts are lies an it's way lower an numbed over blown but the sites wouldn't get business if they said oh only 1 percent of people get great results
    • Alice2398

      Im talking about people I know personally who met on dating sites

  • Sensmind
    Lots of good advice , mostly common sense - What is very good about it is that it is all in the one place and there is a success story behind it - No offence intended but sometimes on here it seems like 95% of the stories are "What went wrong rather than when it went right" especially if told in a negative way "Here is what I learnt from my mistakes " can be quite constructive advice.
    Anyway well done, I have often being half tempted to try a dating app and if I did it would be good to have things like this in the locker - Well done
    • Alice2398

      I do have one bad story but didn't see how it related to what i was talking about

    • Bluemax

      " I have often being half tempted to try a dating app..."
      What would push you over the edge?

    • Sensmind

      @Bluemax I have a general theory you meet the right woman, in the right place , in the right circumstances and the right prospects (She is not moving abroad tomorrow etc) - As I said before I was caring for my father who passed in 2014 and it took me a long time to get over that by the time I did I realised my mother who is 93 in March probably needs 24/7 presence rather than care (she is healthy enough thankfully at the moment) for her twilight years - So as a catch, I am more a sprat rather than a 50 LB Bass fish - What I mean is I am on welfare and tied to my house a lot, a arrangement for a cup of coffee would have to be done with a weeks notice to make sure my sister is around - Financially I am very sound because my mother helps out but should anything happen to her , there will be a period of readjustment when I would need to get work again and be likely to be flat broke - Time wise is the big one , I wouldn't be able to guarantee a lot - One afternoon/One evening a week and if things progessed an overnight once or twice a month.
      To answer your question, I can't tick off my four criteria, what would make me do it if I felt I was in a position to tick off the four.
      That is not to say, I don't discount falling into something by accident where it suits both of us to have a very close/ multiple times a day contact online or something similar but I won't chase that if it happens through social media, forums or similar so be it.

  • I tried these and really haven't found any success.
  • DonCachondo
    What if you're actually interested in hookups? You should change the title to "How to be Successful WITH ME on Dating Apps!"
    • Alice2398

      Well thats not my target audience im writing for people who actually want something serious

    • hookups can get pretty damn serious gurl

  • crazy8000
    Couldn't write whole essay on just profile pics what kind of effect different ones give and how it should look to attract most people.

    The same goes for all subjects you have mentioned.

    Some of them is little off and are relative to what you are after where you live and age group.

    No you don't need to ask for date.
    You doesn't even need to write first as a man.
    Everything has to do with how your profile is constructed. and how you text that person. apart of what kind of individual you are after.

    Personal do I find female's that doesn't take first initiative or ask out for date to be lacy. not girlfriend material.
    Gives signals of a passive relationship dynamic.
  • benita10
    How will man or what will a man do to attract a woman...
  • ICE__EMPIRE
    I have never experienced really dating a girl before
  • Wow, very thorough, thanks!
  • Lionman95
    Thank you, that answers quite a lot for me.
  • COMMODOREII
    Nice my take 😃
  • oussamas
    I've never meet any interested girls on date apps
  • Shamalien
    solid
  • alance99
    Nice Mytake
  • Taurus90
    I am not expecting much but i belive in miracle...
  • Anonymous
    This might help some, but I wouldn't use the word "successful" because they are all crap in my opinion, even if you have a wonderful profile, do all the "right" things, there's still TONS of fake profiles and women ONLY looking for attention (some have actually admitted this and used those exact words) etc. Very few people take them seriously I think is the major problem with all of them. And it's especially bad for guys. I know women have issues with them as well, but it's just a complete waste of time if you're a guy.
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