How To Use Dating Apps Succesfully

How To Use Dating Apps Succesfully

First of all I want to make it very clear that finding a potential partner through dating apps like Tinder is not the best way to go. I think context is very important in relationships, and more often than not, you won't get that from dating apps.

Nevertheless, know that many of you have used dating apps on your phone in the past, and considering that youngsters are using their phones and other electronic devices more frequently this is going to only grow to be a bigger thing. if you take a good look you will notice that Tinder is now #74 in the app store, and it is still climbing the charts. As someone with little real life experience, but a lot of online conversations I am going to give a MyTake on how to get some matches, and how to work your way to their phone number.

How To Use Dating Apps Succesfully

Setting up a profile

Before i get into this I need to mention that I am going to give a straight male perspective, on these points. For women, or for bisexual or gay men, there are a lot of other things that go into this, that I don't have any experience with.

For an app like tinder, where you judge people based on photo's, looks are obviously important. I really hate to say it, but if you are less than average looking, you are not ready for this app. So try and always be your best self on your pictures. If you are an average looking Joe, you need to make yourself stand out, and this is the most important thing.

The proportion of men to women on tinder is 10:1, women have heaps of guys to choose from, and many will probably be better looking than you. So make your pictures stand out! Some obvious tips are to not include other people in your first picture, (or crop is so they know who is you), and don't use pictures of only your face. Also, I feel like many guys use shirtless pictures on their profile, but does that really define who you are? If it does, then its appropriate, if you aren't a gym rat, you need to stop doing that shit. Women look for men who are on their mission, whether you like to paint stuff, do a sport, or make music, try to convey that you have a passion for something in your profile.
Also note that variety is important. You don't want to have a person who is only playing baseball in all of his pictures. They can all be baseball related, sure, but don't make them all about you doing the same thing.

How To Use Dating Apps Succesfully

Bio

This isn't really important unless someone decides to click on your profile. If they read it, you have just gotten past the most difficult stage (actually getting their attention). The most important thing with bio's is that you don't write a novel. Keep it short but gold. Try and make it funny, and maybe tell a little bit about yourself along the way. Some girls have also mentioned that they like it when you put your height in your bio, but thats not a pre. The bio never really matters.


Texting

I think that most people fall short here, and when it comes to dating apps this is the most important part. What you basically aim for when texting a girl that matched with you is getting a phone number. Communicating on tinder too long without getting their number never helps. It isn't permanent and doesn't feel that way. Many women will at some point delete the app off of their phone and never communicate with you again. I've heard many people say that "5" lines is the perfect amount of sentences you should write before you ask a girl for her number, but I have to disagree based on my personal experiences.

How To Use Dating Apps SuccesfullyWhen I downloaded Tinder over a year ago, I was using it as an app to troll people, or basically to make for random, but hilarious conversation. Throwing people off guard by saying something random, actually got me not only many replies, but very interesting conversations, and I have even reeled in some numbers.

So the main tip I have is; be interesting, but obviously that is easily said than done. Think about how you make your messages more interesting, than the other 10 dudes who just messaged that girl. What do these 10 dudes message?
1:Hey
2:Heyy
3:Sup
4:Hi
5:Hello there ;)
6:If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple
(Thats my guess on what a completely random set of guys might type)

All of them are just hey's. Maybe with one guy who goes for a classic but unoriginal pick-up line.
Its honestly not that hard to make something a little bit more engaging. Here are some things that have worked for me plenty of times.
1: I often try to come up with a pick up line while playing on her name. Its not easy to come up with, but whenever I do I am almost guaranteed to get a reply. (Often doesn't even need to be a pick up line, a play on words is often pretty interesting)
2: Just say their name; maybe with a question mark on the end or with an exclamation mark for expression. Names are personal, and much more likely to attract a girls attention when texting.
3: I ask them a question; Just something they can think about, or answer.
4: Come up with an impossible scenario; "Lets say I was a meatball with real emotion and feelings, would you eat me" (Check their bio though to see if they are vegetarian).
5: Replying to a girls pictures, or bio also works very well most of the time.

There are countless of ways that you can start up a conversation properly, just don't type "Hey"
and feel free to not stick to those 5 examples of better things to say that I just wrote. Be creative! You just want to stand out.

As for the question I briefly touched on earlier, "How much do you type before you get the number", and I need to say that it depends. If you find it hard to converse through text, maybe "5" might be easier for you. You should also feel free to have a full conversation on the app, but whenever there are long time intervals of her not replying to you, there should be worry. Consider time intervals as an indication that you need to ask for the number, because you never know when she might delete the app.

Keep it up

I've heard some guys say that its best to wait a few days before you send the first text message. Want me to tell you a secret: *whispers* Thats bullshit. She made it clear that she has some interest in you, so don't give her time to change her mind. Just send the first message already! The goal here is obviously to meet up, and from my personal experience, waiting too long to actually meet each-other for the first time, sets you up for failure. You don't know each-other, so its hard to hold an interesting conversation for days. (Atleast; I think it is due to the lack of context, but hey, you do you). Just try setting up a date quickly, give her time to reply (if she doesn't reply I recommend sending a picture, ill probably write why on the bottom of this MyTake*) , and good luck with your date :).

How To Use Dating Apps Succesfully

Also, let me know if you think im talking out of my ass, or if you find some of this insightful. What are your personal experiences, is there anything you disagree with?

*When I have the feeling a girl is ghosting me on WhatsApp (you know she didn't turn those blue winks off and she just doesn't reply for days") I send a picture. Usually you can't see a picture from your lockscreen, and you actually need to open the app to see the image. Maybe she can then at-least let you know whats up :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Great myTake! I agree with some points you made and disagree with others. I'm not sure why you think a Bio is irrelevant but I think it's very important for those who are serious about dating. Other than the profile picture, it sums up (even if briefly) who you are and why you should be worth my time. I know that sounds mean to say but it's true, if I'm receiving tons of messages from different people, the ones with an interesting Bio are more likely to grab my attention.

    I do agree with you though that the first message is important too. A simple 'hey' is likely to go ignored. It's not interesting, it's generic. I'm sorry guys but most women on dating sites receive a dozen (or more!) messages from random men every day, so just saying "hey" isn't going to make you stand out. This is where it gets tricky though because all women are different and will respond to different things. You mentioned a pickup line or play on words, to be honest, that would probably annoy me and make me ignore you.

    I am more likely to respond to someone who actually read my Bio (in which I would include maybe a few interesting things about myself, likes/dislikes, hobbies, etc.) and if someone sends me a message based on that, I am more likely to respond. That's where Bio's come in handy, in my opinion. It can give you something to talk about to break the ice, depending on what the person included on their profile. Overall though, I think you gave some good advice here. :)

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    • I agree about bio. For WOMEN a decent bio can make an average guy attractive. It orobably does not work this way for men looking at women's profiles though 😂

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    • A dozen? My sister got 153 on her first day lol

    • She's 21 though

Most Helpful Guy

  • You might hate to say it, but THIS needs more emphasis.

    " I really hate to say it, but if you are less than average looking, you are not ready for this app"

    Actual studies have shown that women think 80% of the guys on these things are not suitable looks-wise. (The headlines reporting the study, if you google them, misrepresented this as women think 80% of men are below average, which is obviously nonsense.)

    So if you're not upwards of the 80th percentile looks-wise, don't bother your ass.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Tinder is useless for guys who are not tall, athletic, and have a decent looking face. Guys who aren't White get a penalty as well. You will end up going through all of the people in your area and matching with a handful, or even less, of decent looking girls. Forget above-average girls they have no reason to bother with you.
    Happy for guys to jump in here and share their experiences.

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    • The decent looking face thing is true for both though. But I think most tarty black guys I know do get most of their links from tinder and similar apps so I never understood why so many people say it needs to be a white guy to have more success. Above average looks aren't the norm amongst guys or girls, or they'd all be average, so makes sense to be matched most with what is common.

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    • @TingaTinga
      I think Black guys and Hispanic guys get love from their own women, but White women and Asian women overwhelmingly prefer White guys.

    • That's a bit harsh given we can't send you ladies a message till you swipe right and/or send us the first message (a la Bumble). 8 weeks on bumble and nothing nada zilch. And some of the women are so dumb they put "if you like me message me! / ask me ore xx) on their profiles. Any woman on Bumble who hasn't taken on board the fact men CANNPT send messages until the woman makes the first move - via direct contact not a line in her "about me" needs to. think about either using their fingers to type a message for a change, or changing apps...

  • Dating apps are a huge waste of my time.
    Most men can't seem to take the conversations Offline and are only looking for a digital pen-pal.

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  • I really like the POF app. Had a lot of success with it.

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    • I second this. They call POF the trailer park of online dating apps but I have gone on at least 100 dates with decent educated women off the app. Also it seemed many were a bit more serious

    • @10dsw I've never heard that. I've met some well off guys on that app

  • Great take! I think you gave good advice.

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  • Nice

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  • Nice take

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What Guys Said 12

  • After having been on a couple of dates with girls from dating apps (that actually went pretty well), I thinking I'm going to stop using them. The sites themselves and that whole way of meeting someone is so unnatural that any relationship that does by some miracle happen must happen in spite of everything.

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  • "Throwing people off guard by saying something random, actually got me not only many replies, but very interesting conversations, and I have even reeled in some numbers."

    This one is HUGE. One day I was on the fence about meeting a girl because her texts were so boring. So I told her that "For a girl, you sure are a boring texter". Date the next day and the girl was amazing.

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  • Pretty good advice overall. Only bit I disagree with is when you suggest messaging a girl about something in her pics/bio. Every other guy is doing this (apart from the lazy hey/hi msgs) so whatever clever thing you think you're about to say about her quirky hobby or frog hat, she's heard it 50 times already so it becomes lame.

    Instead, I message something fun and flirty that I've come up with that no other guy likely has that has no reference to her profile that gets her laughing.

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  • according to businessinsider it's now nearer 50/50 - mainly because the average Joe is fed up of being ignored. 85% of all dialogue from women goes to 15% of the men. On sites like Bumble and christiandating over half the members are women. If the trend continues dating sites will end up with loads of women with a very limited pool of guys. Most of whom are players. If women don't want this they need to be a bit more circumspect and lower their expectations. If Tom Hardy posts a profile up go for it... along with the other 500,000 members!!!

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    • This is interesting, thanks for the info :D

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    • Bumbles idea of girls msging first is pointless anyway cause when I tried it the girls just message 'hey' so the guy has to start the conversation anyway.

    • Check out Coffee Meets Bagel. It's 70% women to 30% men. The catch is that everyone has at least a bachelor's degree on the app

  • This is bad advice.

    Doesn't account for Tinder or others algorithms.

    Doesn't account for the "Pay to Win" method in place on every dating site.

    Doesn't account for the influx of spam, fake accounts, scammers, phishers, and people who don't want to meet/are there for an ego boost.

    Online Dating is lame. It doesn't work unless you are a woman or in the top 20% of hot guys, the app will literally prioritize you lower based off appearance.

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  • I wouldn’t use a dating app. It’s just full of degenerates trying to have casual sex.

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    • Personally I shove away most people trying to just have sex through the app. The majority of my interactions (people who right swiped me) though were women that were in it for looking for a date. Maybe that has to do with "me" or where I live or I just got really lucky, but thats my personal experience. You can also try to specify what you are looking for on your profile.

  • If dating apps were successful, then why would there still be dating apps?

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    • Money, my friend. It's all about the moneyyyzzzzz. :-)

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    • That's a pretty flawed point. I could just as easily say if dating apps weren't successful, why do they still exist? Obviously not everyone has success with them (most likely because they don't look attractive), but plenty still do and I doubt you have much experience given you're too young for 95% of them.

    • @Kkaos They exist because there is money to be made. People find it much easier to hop on tinder and swipe on the toilet as opposed to approaching women. I agree, the only experience I have is with girls around my age.

  • I don't believe in dating apps

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  • if its tender just send a "wanna bang" gif

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  • Tried this didn't work I end up selling my house and depositing my cheque for the dating apps :O
    JK cool MyTake!

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  • Mehhhhhh dating apps these days are filled to the brim with: guys wanting sex, girls loving the attention the get and don't plan on messaging any guy, and few successful relationships

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  • Race also plays a factor for example if your biracial or black you’re not likely to get a response back

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    • Lol I know way too many tarty black guys who use tinder to get sex

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    • @TingaTinga I do often start with hey cause I legitimately wanna get to know them I’m not an animal just after sex

    • Not saying "Hey' just means you are more likely to get a reply, it doesn't mean you are an animal just looking for sex...

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