1 mo

How Should I Interact With This Girl?

ManOnFire
How Should I Interact With This Girl?

I don't usually post question-type Takes like this but I needed to get into some detail in order to help everybody get the picture and offer their suggestions. So here it is.

There is a girl at my job - and she is indeed a girl, I think she's in her early 20s - who seems to be into me and whenever I come on the clock, which is a little bit before she leaves, she seems to get excited when she sees me, but not in a way that shows it traditionally. We will chat a little bit, and she often asks me if I can do something for her to have it ready for her the next day, and if I'm doing something kind of big she will literally go out of her way to help me or insist on helping me. One time after she punched out she even literally sought me out just to tell me something one more time and good-bye.

She's a pretty girl and sweet, and I think she is attracted to black men. And I think she is actually a young girl who likes decent, intelligent men because she likes to chat with me and my supervisor, who is also intelligent and mature. And yesterday she waved me over to be around her because I think she wanted me to keep her company so another one of our co-workers wouldn't bother her, because I think she doesn't like talking to him now. This guy is one of those dogs who is so utterly obvious about trying to hit everything that moves, and he may have scared her away, I'm not sure. He is the type that actually can be like a stalker and really has made some women at our job uncomfortable.

How Should I Interact With This Girl?

So basically, I'm not sure what to do with her or how to interact with her. I stay friendly and try to be down-to-earth, but with her I feel like I'm being boring, to myself. And as if I'm playing a part. I generally like older women and they are way easier to be chill with. I mean, she is a nice girl but she's also young, and I'm not really that comfortable with the vast majority of younger women. I feel like I have to figure out how I should click or interact with her, and whenever that happens when I meet younger women, that's usually not a good sign, and I will end up losing interest and move away from them, because I feel like they're waiting for me to do or be something interesting to them, and I'm never cool with how a lot of them are like that.

And I'm not trying to be rude or racist here, but whenever a white girl likes black men and sees one that she likes, they tend to be super obvious about it. So I can tell that she's attached to me, and although she talks to me she is still a little nervous and I think she's trying to watch herself so that it doesn't seem so obvious. One of the guys was telling me to hurry up and get her number but I am a little scared to do that with her.

How Should I Interact With This Girl?

And although she is a nice, friendly girl, I also get this strange vibe that she is one of those girls who acts decent or innocent in front of guys she likes, but that she actually is a gritty type with others and has fucked several guys on a private side lol. And that's the thing right there that puts everything into question for me. I've already been through a relationship like that, and I tend to have a particular distaste for women with their own Madonna-whore complexes who want to pretend wholesomeness for the guy they're attracted to romantically but aren't into them sexually, while on another side they feel that way about other men. I don't know for sure if she is that type of girl, but I have a strong suspicion that she is.

So ultimately I am just not sure how I should go about interacting with this girl as far as trying to actually hit something off with her. Does anyone have any advice? Is it something I should even begin trying to pursue? Or should I just leave it at being 'nice' and friendly with her? And what happens if I hurt her feelings or make her feel like I'm avoiding her or something?

#GirlsWhoLikeYou

How Should I Interact With This Girl?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    ''I also get this strange vibe that she is one of those girls who acts decent or innocent in front of guys she likes, but that she actually is a gritty type with others and has fucked several guys on a private side lol.''

    Never ignore your gut instinct. I work with this 20 something girl that is into me as well. When we talk she blushes easily, acts all innocent, and is careful how sexual or flirty she is. But I know that she jumped into bed with a stranger on the rebound. I could also sense all of this long before anyway.

    The rule is as follows. The more attractive they find you, the more they will lie to you. There are no truly innocent girls left in this culture so do not ever be fooled. There is nothing she has not yet done, and no orifice she has not yet had filled.

    My advice to you is to forget it and focus on your job and making money. This girl will just bring you trouble and concern. Go find one outside of work if you must but keep rock bottom expectations.
    Is this still revelant?
    • ManOnFire

      Dude, thank you so much. Everything you just said is everything I've learned myself, it just helps to know that somebody else knows it too.

      "The more attractive they find you, the more they will lie to you."
      - That right there is a deep truth.

    • kim45456

      How about looking for mature and experienced women than innocent virgin girls?

    • ManOnFire

      @kim45456 You can't possibly be as dense as you are.

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What Girls & Guys Said

57
  • PeacefulRainDrop
    Id keep it a work relationship stay nice to her but dont make any moves.. if she's only after you she will ask for your number or give you hers.. if she's after someone to fuck she will start paying special attention to one of your co workers.. always trust your gut
    • ManOnFire

      "if she's after someone to fuck she will start paying special attention to one of your co workers"
      - So it would never be me?

    • Exactly let time tell.. she was never interested in you just your dick to begin with..

  • I think you're doing the right thing. Trust your intuition. You are far from stupid and you getting that vibe from her is definitely something telling.
    Keep doing what you are doing. Keep being you. Friendly, civil, polite.
    We all get hurt one way or the other. It's up to you and us if we want to take that risk. If we think they are worth it.
    • ManOnFire

      And I'm feeling like I don't want to take that risk lol.

  • ericclayton
    You're assuming things about her that may or may not be true. Get to know her, make her feel safe enough to open up to you. Don't go for "the kill" right away. You want to make sure she's the right girl for you.
    • I agree with this guy your assuming based on nothing but suspicion and age she sound like she's dont nothing wrong but if you really have that much of a trust issue watch how she acts with people
      If your not looking to get with someone you find childish then she how she acts when she's angry, upset or overwhelmed and there's nothing wrong with likeing black men I for only prefer them I just find them more attractive it's no different then preferring blonds to brunettes the only difference is one is hair and one is skin

    • ManOnFire

      @samisayaskme You're simply telling me what I already know. I wanted to post this to get ideas from others.

  • MyExperience
    Given the fact that you said you
    "generally like older women and they are way easier to be chill with. ... she is a nice girl but she's also young, and I'm not really that comfortable with the vast majority of younger women"
    it seems like you are wayy overthinking this whole thing and should probably just be her friend.
  • Marshall_M
    Well, I think that you should go with your gut feeling and maintain that professional relationship you have at work with her. If you think you'll someday get bored with the relationship, just don't go down that road because you both may end up hurt.
  • jbabii
    I would suggest finding a way to interact outside of work place, whether it's something just the 2 of or a few others from work or even the whole company or something.. also about the "vibe" u mentioned one way I suggest finding out how accurate it is just either listen or watch her interact with other men/people or if another person is talking about their interaction they had with her, if there's anything that might help support ur theory, also that vibe might be mistaken for the type that is "a lady in the street & a freak in the sheets" which is not uncommon.
    • ManOnFire

      I've been watching her, yes. Waiting to see something confirm it.

  • ChefPapiChulo
    You’re fooling yourself. One it’s your job. Don’t shit where you eat. 2 it’s just one girl. If she was interested she would make herself available to you.
  • msc545
    Never get involved with someone you work with. It won't end well.
  • coolguy277
    there is no rules?
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take
  • engel23
    Just ask for her number and asks her out.
  • Anonymous
    Go find someone your age. Young girls like me like to fool around and to experiment
    • ManOnFire

      And that's what I ain't got time for.

    • Anonymous

      I mean in general young people are retarted haha and like to mess around or like try new things. Most of them are immature.

    • Translation: I and all my friends are whores

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