Boring or interesting is matter of perception. In fact your intellect, eloquence and humor is secondary, only appearance and body language matter. This influences girls perception about a guy at most. It's sometimes enough to say two times 'yes' and three times 'no, thank you' to occupy one girl's mind, if she is really into you. Good, bad, nice, a-hole are thinking patterns of mental limitation, because it's not like other people see you.
Nice guy is a synonym with decent. The fact you have been misinterpreting it based on 'pretending to be nice but having a hidden agenda' doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with being nice (i. e. calling to ask how a girl you care about is - not out of decency, but out of genuinely liking her). Be confident is like 'say no to drugs'. Men love confident women as well - but try and find one. (this wasn't worth the effort it took to write, by the way)
Plus I’ve seen so many “nice guys” turn out to be straight up assholes. They act like just because they labeled themselves that they are guaranteed a relationship no being nice and being a gentleman should be a given
I get the whole "I hate being manipulated" thing but let's be honest here. Being "nice and a gentleman" should be a given, but it isn't. Men act in the ways that women desire, not vice versa, and you may not personally like dickheads but can you honestly say the market for them isn't substantial to say the least. The fact is guys who women openly dislike for personality reasons are far more likely to get more pussy than guys who women think are trustworthy but capable of being sidelined or put on the back burner. It's just the nature of people and society. Not all guys who are dickheads get laid like some movie/tv show frat boy, and not all guys who are nice get ignored or become some misogynistic basement dweller. On the other end not all women go for dickheads, and many, if not most, go for men that they simply desire. But we need to be careful about self-judgement because it can make us worse people by allowing us to ignore our flaws that are clear to others.
@Hypnos0929 if you understand the manipulation thing then you understand that women don’t know that those guys aren’t who the say they are until it’s too late
Don't know or don't want to know? There's a difference. Hindsight is always 20/20 and with that hindsight we begin to reflect on the warning signs. In my case the girl in question seemed more concerned with keeping me around as a morale booster than as an actual friend or partner. I messed up, that's my fault tbh. But I also realized that I was willfully ignorant and naive. You just gotta look for the signs and slow yourself into the relationship instead of sliding. First impressions matter but pay attention to the third as well. Manipulators are usually good but not impossible to see through.
I've thought about this. And while I'm a gentleman and I strive for my woman to be living in joy, I wonder how I can avoid being... boring. What if she wants a little change, or a little edge of "bad boy" or so? Not disrespectful exactly, just... exciting? They say money can't buy happiness, and I firmly believe that if you had a partner that just brought you or did every little thing you asked for, you'd get bored, which leads to cheating, even if there's no one you love greater...
The thing I find interesting is that there is no female analog to the "nice guy" phenomenon. I guess the closest would be feminists, who have the ability to destroy male interest the same way nice guys kill girl boners.
Most females consider me an asshole & i do process natural leadership & self confidence but because I'm unattractive I'm not as well liked as the better looking counterparts
Bla bla bla. Sorry for what Im going to say but I neither want a nice girl who always wants to hug nor I want a girl that doesn't like hugs. Got the point? No? Well she needs to have something that will draw my attention towards her...
So basically just be yourself. I mean, it should be the obvious number 1 advice to give people. I've always had success with it and seen people around me having success with it too by just being themselves.
Girls call me soft but strong and I hate it i consider myself nice because I'm always friendly and never mean untill your a dick to me... I think it shouldn't be about traits but character.. about connecting with that person
@ThisIsMyOpinion It is not so much that hot guys are not nice, only that for them, women have little value. Women have always been easy for good-looking, smart, athletic guys. That is, the popular hot guys. They don't have to be nice because if they snap their fingers the girls drop their panties. Therefore, they spend very little time, money, or effort to bed a pretty girl. Since women are so easy, they are common as sand and have very little value.
Nice guys are average guys. The girls don't want them. Therefore, to get a girl, they must spend a lot of time (sometimes years), money, and effort to get a girl. They have to nice or else they have no chance. Therefore, when they do get a girl, she is like a diamond; she is precious.
All of that is valid until you are what 15? After that the girls are out of that phase. Average guys as long as they don't have the personality of a rock and don't look like they just had a car accident will have no problems in getting girls.
@ThisIsMyOpinion "... Average guys..." By average, do you mean the top 20 percent?
Women have strict physical attributes from their must-haves list. An OkCupid study found that women find 80 percent of men below average and unattractive.
i've met extremely handsome men who aren't assholes and are genuinely nice, and they it's not bc they're interested in me, we're just friends and being nice is part of these people's personalities. who hurt you?
@___nik Almost all men are nice, especially to women. That's why men tell 30+ women that have lost their bloom, (I prefer older women." They are just being nice. It is women; not men, that claim men are not nice; especially after they don't get what they want from the men they are attracted to.
you just said that nice guys are average looking guys and said that women want hot guys in your original post, now you're saying that all men are inherently nice? i'll admit that their are plenty of women who are assholes but their are also men that are assholes, regardless if they're good looking or not.
@___nik I can see that it may appear that I contradicting myself. However, there is a difference between being a nice guy and being nice. Being nice is more like being polite. Like when you are seated next to someone supporting the other team. You can support your respective teams but you don't say things to upset the other person; a person you likely will never meet again.
Being a nice guy has more to do with dating. A nice guy will do everything he can to please or not upset the girl even when she is being difficult.
That is what happens in a daring app where everything is down to the pic you have. Doesn't represent reality. I know many girls witj guys they would swipe left on a dating app by just their pic.
I don't think I say "hot" as much. Handsome, good-looking, cute, sexy.. that sort of thing - is more my style. I depends on the woman, and how she wants to communicate. I know what hot means, it's not like I'm a square. I just don't really prefer to say it.
Like I know girls don’t really say hot to a guy straight up. Like a girl And I like each other and she went oooooo you look handsome and couldn’t stop staring at me and seductively smiling at me
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Well said.
You should be nice because it's the right thing to do. We shouldn't expect anything im return.
And well said about the jerks.
I agree with being yourself and fix yourself on areas where you can and have some spice and excitement in life.
Boring or interesting is matter of perception. In fact your intellect, eloquence and humor is secondary, only appearance and body language matter. This influences girls perception about a guy at most. It's sometimes enough to say two times 'yes' and three times 'no, thank you' to occupy one girl's mind, if she is really into you.
Good, bad, nice, a-hole are thinking patterns of mental limitation, because it's not like other people see you.
Nice guy is a synonym with decent. The fact you have been misinterpreting it based on 'pretending to be nice but having a hidden agenda' doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with being nice (i. e. calling to ask how a girl you care about is - not out of decency, but out of genuinely liking her).
Be confident is like 'say no to drugs'.
Men love confident women as well - but try and find one. (this wasn't worth the effort it took to write, by the way)
Plus I’ve seen so many “nice guys” turn out to be straight up assholes. They act like just because they labeled themselves that they are guaranteed a relationship no being nice and being a gentleman should be a given
I get the whole "I hate being manipulated" thing but let's be honest here.
Being "nice and a gentleman" should be a given, but it isn't. Men act in the ways that women desire, not vice versa, and you may not personally like dickheads but can you honestly say the market for them isn't substantial to say the least. The fact is guys who women openly dislike for personality reasons are far more likely to get more pussy than guys who women think are trustworthy but capable of being sidelined or put on the back burner.
It's just the nature of people and society. Not all guys who are dickheads get laid like some movie/tv show frat boy, and not all guys who are nice get ignored or become some misogynistic basement dweller. On the other end not all women go for dickheads, and many, if not most, go for men that they simply desire. But we need to be careful about self-judgement because it can make us worse people by allowing us to ignore our flaws that are clear to others.
@Hypnos0929 if you understand the manipulation thing then you understand that women don’t know that those guys aren’t who the say they are until it’s too late
Don't know or don't want to know? There's a difference. Hindsight is always 20/20 and with that hindsight we begin to reflect on the warning signs.
In my case the girl in question seemed more concerned with keeping me around as a morale booster than as an actual friend or partner. I messed up, that's my fault tbh. But I also realized that I was willfully ignorant and naive.
You just gotta look for the signs and slow yourself into the relationship instead of sliding. First impressions matter but pay attention to the third as well. Manipulators are usually good but not impossible to see through.
I've thought about this. And while I'm a gentleman and I strive for my woman to be living in joy, I wonder how I can avoid being... boring. What if she wants a little change, or a little edge of "bad boy" or so? Not disrespectful exactly, just... exciting? They say money can't buy happiness, and I firmly believe that if you had a partner that just brought you or did every little thing you asked for, you'd get bored, which leads to cheating, even if there's no one you love greater...
I am me. Nice or not, you tell me 😁 That's how I go about my days.
This is absolutely the truth. Way to hit the point and keep it simple. This was great.
It's basically what another user said: we want the adventure, the excitement, and the emotion. Who he is apart from that is second place.
Interesting, do you go in "expecting" that? Just curious..
The thing I find interesting is that there is no female analog to the "nice guy" phenomenon. I guess the closest would be feminists, who have the ability to destroy male interest the same way nice guys kill girl boners.
Most females consider me an asshole & i do process natural leadership & self confidence but because I'm unattractive I'm not as well liked as the better looking counterparts
Bla bla bla. Sorry for what Im going to say but I neither want a nice girl who always wants to hug nor I want a girl that doesn't like hugs. Got the point? No? Well she needs to have something that will draw my attention towards her...
I like good men, not nice men. There is a difference.
The real truth about nice guys and assholes is that women can't tell the difference.
So basically just be yourself. I mean, it should be the obvious number 1 advice to give people. I've always had success with it and seen people around me having success with it too by just being themselves.
I understand you perfectly
I want a girl just like yiu described boys on here
Girls call me soft but strong and I hate it i consider myself nice because I'm always friendly and never mean untill your a dick to me... I think it shouldn't be about traits but character.. about connecting with that person
Nice=considerate, friendly.
Is not synonymous with "push-over".
I'm an asshole. Most guys are assholes they just pretend to be nice in a desperate attempt to get laid.
simp
@Stephen_77 exactly they're simps
Plot twist! The "nice" guy is actually the worst type of asshole. The type to be "nice" just so he can get her. Mr self proclaimed nice guysssss
Women want hot guys. They don't want nice guys because they are average and average looking guys are not hot.
Who said hot guys are not nice?
@ThisIsMyOpinion It is not so much that hot guys are not nice, only that for them, women have little value. Women have always been easy for good-looking, smart, athletic guys. That is, the popular hot guys. They don't have to be nice because if they snap their fingers the girls drop their panties. Therefore, they spend very little time, money, or effort to bed a pretty girl. Since women are so easy, they are common as sand and have very little value.
Nice guys are average guys. The girls don't want them. Therefore, to get a girl, they must spend a lot of time (sometimes years), money, and effort to get a girl. They have to nice or else they have no chance. Therefore, when they do get a girl, she is like a diamond; she is precious.
All of that is valid until you are what 15? After that the girls are out of that phase. Average guys as long as they don't have the personality of a rock and don't look like they just had a car accident will have no problems in getting girls.
@ThisIsMyOpinion "... Average guys..." By average, do you mean the top 20 percent?
Women have strict physical attributes from their must-haves list. An OkCupid study found that women find 80 percent of men below average and unattractive.
i've met extremely handsome men who aren't assholes and are genuinely nice, and they it's not bc they're interested in me, we're just friends and being nice is part of these people's personalities. who hurt you?
@___nik Almost all men are nice, especially to women. That's why men tell 30+ women that have lost their bloom, (I prefer older women." They are just being nice. It is women; not men, that claim men are not nice; especially after they don't get what they want from the men they are attracted to.
you just said that nice guys are average looking guys and said that women want hot guys in your original post, now you're saying that all men are inherently nice? i'll admit that their are plenty of women who are assholes but their are also men that are assholes, regardless if they're good looking or not.
@___nik I can see that it may appear that I contradicting myself. However, there is a difference between being a nice guy and being nice. Being nice is more like being polite. Like when you are seated next to someone supporting the other team. You can support your respective teams but you don't say things to upset the other person; a person you likely will never meet again.
Being a nice guy has more to do with dating. A nice guy will do everything he can to please or not upset the girl even when she is being difficult.
No. I mean half of them.
That is what happens in a daring app where everything is down to the pic you have. Doesn't represent reality. I know many girls witj guys they would swipe left on a dating app by just their pic.
@DWornock ohh you meant pushovers. yea i totally agree with you.
@___nik I hate to call them pushovers because they are not pushovers when interacting with other men, but basically yes.
wait so im confused. do woman use handsome and hot interchangeably
kind of, but hot has a better connotation :)
I don't think I say "hot" as much. Handsome, good-looking, cute, sexy.. that sort of thing - is more my style. I depends on the woman, and how she wants to communicate. I know what hot means, it's not like I'm a square. I just don't really prefer to say it.
Like I know girls don’t really say hot to a guy straight up. Like a girl And I like each other and she went oooooo you look handsome and couldn’t stop staring at me and seductively smiling at me