Confessions of a Ladies Man: Nice Guys are Assholes, Bad Guys are Authentic

[Apope16]

The Nice Guy

He was a nice guy. He called himself a "feminist". He had a good job and had a good head on his shoulders. He was the type of guy who really respected women and said he wanted to treat me like royalty. He takes me to a bar and have a few drinks. By date three his is lavishing me with a necklace. He is so sweet and kind. On the third date he takes me to another fancy dining place. We had hours of fun conversation. He drops me off at my place. Such a great guy. He kisses me at my door and asks if I am ready. 'Ready for what?" I ask. He said he's ready for sex. I tell him I am not ready to have sex with him yet. Soon he explodes in anger and tells me he has wined and dined me and bought me gifts. He is yelling and goes away angry because he spent "$300 " and hasn't had sex yet.

He was a nice guy who was caring and giving because he wanted my pussy. Nice guys are the worst.

The Bad Guy

I met him online and he flirts with me. He says I am hot and I roll my eyes. He tells me a couple jokes and I like him because he is funny. I swipe right only on guys who have great jobs but even though he's not rich he is pretty hot. He makes me laugh on the dating app but then he starts talking about sex again.

He says "I dont read profiles. I saw your picture and I knew right away that I wanted to fuck you." I scolded him. I told him he was rude. He never apologized. He just said "I am being honest. I am a blunt guy."

He asks me out on a date. I agree to go because I am bored and I am curious about him. When i meet him in person he is actually charming and funny. I am surprised that we had deep conversation.

I am confused because he was not the guy online say ing "I want to fuck you. I am a blunt guy." The date was fun. I invited him to my place and we have sex. Now he is my husband.

[Majesty101]

I was having a mental breakdown reading this😂 There are so many misconceptions that are so blatantly exposed throughout this "evidence" of how, allegedly, "nice guys are assholes".

To shed some light on the situation, let me introduce a different explanation.

There are many different types of guys, the main four being the fake, the genuine, the asshole by society, and the narcissist... the first two fitting the "nice guy" category and the latter two fitting the "bad guy" category.

As far as the nice guys, the fake and the genuine are distinctly different in character, but have the same image by society. The power lies in the intent, which reveals whether they are wearing a mask or being truly honest about who and what they are. The fake, will play the role of the nice guy with the intent of accomplishing the goal of sex. The genuine, will also desire sex, but will desire more... wanting to build a fulfilling relationship, mentally, physically, and emotionally. The problem is, the fake is praised by society and spread throughout the dating scene, appealing to women with the mask they wear. The genuine are more likely to stay somewhat independent and introverted because they're character isn't highly accepted among women in general, which is a totally different subject, they are the needles in the hay stack, but totally worth the search. If you have pure intention as a women, you will surely take the time to wait for him or find him, if that what you really want.

Now, onto the "bad guys": the asshole by society and the narcissist. The assholes by society are my personal favorites😂 And here's my reasoning as to why they are "by society. You see, these guys are also factors of the genuine. They have the biggest hearts and are likely taken advantage of when they are young, so they grow to form a wall against society and portray the image of "the asshole" to protect their core because people were assholes to them. They are simply a mirror. The narcissist is the exact opposite in intent. Not only do they portray the asshole, they are truly the asshole with the mission to manipulate and be an asshole to others to make themselves feel better. They are also likely to have had a big heart when they were younger, and when they were taken advantage of, they took the opposite route with the aim for revenge against people.

Now, like I said, these are the four main types that I have observed as the most dominant throughout society. This will only apply to the majority, not to each specific individual. The only advice I can give to someone who wants to attract someone who will love them right, is to love yourself, the way you want them to. Treat yourself how you want to be treated and take the time to allow your person to follow.

[ragequeen]

If the man proclaims himself to be nice- HE ISN'T NICE. Otherwise, actions speak louder than words. Often you can tell if people have agendas if you pay close attention and don't fall for every guy down the road. There are authentic nice guys out there. I do agree that bad guys can be seen as more authentic, because what you see is what you get. It doesn't mean he is worth it, though. Just because people are themselves and are real about it, doesn't make them good people or partner material.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. This is a CONFESSION? What did you confess? That you are authentic? Hahaha!

2. I met a younger girl; she was a gold digger. I met an older woman; she had no expectations and fucked my brains out!

What does that prove? All younger women are gold diggers? Are older women are low maintenance and sexually charged? Wrong on all counts!

3. Yes, SOME guys who call themselves "nice guys" are wolves in sheep's clothing. They expect that if they act nice for a while, a girl will fall in love and fuck him 'til he can't walk. And he will get angry when that doesn't materialize. THAT is NOT a nice guy.

4. There are some "authentic" bad guys who are very upfront with a woman about wanting sex, she meets him and is so flattered that he values her sexually that she is "swept off of her feet" and into bed. And the next day, he is chasing after the next woman because all he wants is "new pussy." And she feels embarrassed about what she did, a bit angry at him and a bit angry at herself, and hopefully she becomes a little bit wiser.

5. Then there are nice guys who open doors for lady, help them with their sweater or jacket, help them get seated, bring them flowers, take them on nice dates. . . and DON'T think that they are entitled to sex just because they spent some money on the girl. The guy wants sex but he's willing to wait until she's ready and when she feels some affection for the guy and trusts him, they have sex but they call it "making love." And when that happens, they have the foundation to build trust and respect, and when feelings develop, they will be in love. And he won't be looking for "new pussy."

6. If it feels good to pat yourself on the back, go for it. We all have insecurities and need some reassurance from time to time, but it's usually more meaningful if that reassurance comes from others instead of our self.

[LoveIsFake]

Actually... I got something to say here 🤨
I've been called nice before for giving girls stuff however I never wanted anything in return. Also been called nice for helping people but that's because I know how it's like to have no one to help you or have anyone there.
My top characteristic is actually honesty, and when I mean honest I mean I will gladly hurt your feelings to tell you the truth rather than saying a beautiful lie. My honesty has definitely made people call me an ass or a dick but gets me straight respect 😎

With all honesty I am blunt and I have a tendency to not give a shit hence what they say a * bad boy* is but I'm also a giving person hence what a *nice guy* is so I'm trying to figure out where I fall into

[Desconhecida]

Do you really believe that?

[Spiffy_and_Tails]

"Bad guys are authentic"

Bad guy:
"... I want to f*ck you. I am a blunt guy."
"... I am confused because he is not the guy online saying 'I want to f*ck you. I am a blunt guy.'"

Please pick one. You can't have both.

[CrazyGirl2]

“Nice guys” are not nice because of what they say. Their actions are what makes them nice! And while the “bad boy” can be more authentic, what make you think “authentic” is synonymous with good, or great, or better? Dog turds are authentic... but it’s authentic shit! No forgeries there I’m afraid 😟!
While YOU say this person was a “nice guy” there were SO many red flags 🚩! Pretentious fancy restaurants... okay, some girls are into that I guess, but gifts of jewelry by the THIRD DATE? That is a massive red flag, and I don’t know any girl who would accept an expensive gift like that... especially on date THREE! A cute teddy bear, sure, but jewelry? I’m sorry, but if THAT is what qualifies as a “nice guy” you have VERY strange definition of nice!
As for Mr. “bad boy”... that isn’t a “bad boy” he’s just an asshole! Anyone who says anything like “I knew right away that I wanted to fuck you” is an asshole, and extremely disrespectful asshole at that! Oops, sorry an extremely disrespectful, yet amazingly authentic asshole! Look, I go to a private “Christian” high school. Which just means it’s exclusive and very expensive. All of my friends and I are sexually active, and we all have “nice respectful” boyfriends from “good” families. Translation... Wealthy and White! Except, that is for my friend Brooke! Brooke’s boyfriend is nineteen, lives on his own, and he either gets around on his Harley, or a beat-up old pick-up truck. He has a good job as a motorcycle mechanic, and he lives on his own terms, and does whatever the hell HE wants, translation... Bad Boy! But Greg treats Brooke like a goddess, he truly worships her! He can’t afford to buy her things, so he writes poems, and songs for her (did I mention he’s in a rock band? Of course he is!) By every definition he’s a bad boy, but he loves Brooke, and he would NEVER treat her, even remotely, like either asshole from your example. My boyfriend is the typical nice guy, he’s basically the opposite of Greg in every way except in the way he treats me, which again is also like a goddess! Look the lesson here, is that decent men come in both “nice guy” and “bad boy” flavors! But also assholes can LOOK like “nice guys” and “bad boys” but they are still just ass holes... Sorry, AUTHENTIC ASS HOLES! If your standard for decency in men is merely authenticity, then I’m sorry but even though I may only be 18, I’ve learned a hell of a lot more about what to expect from men and relationships than person who wrote that!

[TheNikJamJessProject]

Don't label men or put them into just 2 generalized categories. Every man is unique and you should treat them as such.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Honestly, I made a post on this topic before. I don't like Nice or Bad guys. I like GOOD guys, normal males who aren't completely shitty and whiney.

A good guy can be blunt and honest but still treat a woman or anyone for that matter with respect because it's a representation of his character. It's okay, if they just want sex, friendship, or a relationship. They just let it be known up forth and handle things in a mature way. Even if they have flaws they work on them are the best they can be. Which is who they are.

I'm more likely to have sex with a guy who treated me like an equal without any bias, and wasn't pushing for sex. Than someone who just thinks I'm a hole to fuck and I owe it to him to unlock his "soft" heart along the way if I want to be treated right or married.

"Nice" guys who are really bad are entitled and pathetic too. They are out for one thing but too coward to but be honest about it and treat the situation as such while still being mature. So really over both, and tired of people putting up the persona of one or the other to get what they want.

[yofuknutz]

If you are a nice girl you offered to give him half of the money back I take it you're not a nice girl a lot of people today not putting up with it no more three hundred bucks he should have got himself an escort satisfaction or money back guarantee which is what I can say for dates these days

[Drakkith]

@Apope16
What was the intent of this confession? Of course the 'bad guy' in this specific example is authentic. You've made him that way. Are you trying to say something about 'bad guys' in general?

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

What you describe is not a nice guy, is an idiot. A nice guys fits this part " He had a good job and had a good head on his shoulders. He was the type of guy who really respected women". Not the treat them like royalty, get a necklace so soon and get angry for not having sex.
That is a fake guy. Not a real nice guy.

[Dongtai]

Why does society push these two extremes? There's situation for both extremes but that doesn't mean you have to be one or the other at all times. Sometimes you need to be an asshole so the world doesn't walk over you and destroy you. Other times you need to be a nice "person" so YOU don't leave the world worse off and destroy other people. It's possible to have balance the positive qualities of both extremes.

I've never considered myself a nice guy or a bad guy. I'm just myself but I know the appropriate times to be nice or an asshole.

Times to be nice- Meeting a stranger for the first, with children and friendly animals, when you're helping someone. In general you want to be nice in calm situations that don't demand aggression or someone to "step up" and lead. The goal is to make the people around you feel comfortable and safe. If you're an asshole all the time, you're likely to make people feel threatened and loathe you over time.

Times to be an asshole- When you're leading or in a position of authority, when someone is intentionally crossing your personally boundaries, when protecting yourself or others. You want to be an asshole in situations that require you to be dominant. The goal isn't to be liked be respected. Some people don't respond well, if at all to "kindness" and won't listen until you put your foot down. If you're nice all the time it's likely people will start to walk over and take advantage of you.

The trick is to know "when" to be nice and when to be an asshole. Too much of one or the other will hinder you in the long run

[markml]

You're totally presenting a false dichotomy.

I see what you're doing...

Obviously, if a woman thinks her only options are the "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" (Nice Guy) and the regular "Wolf" (Bad Guy), then she is going to choose the second option.

But the reality is there are other options. You don't have to choose a Wolf. There are guys out there that are more like a "German Shephard".

Women are naturally attracted to Big Bad Wolves. I don't know if this is all women, but it's certainly a lot. All the ones I know of are. But the logical parts of their brain tell them it's a bad idea to play with these Big Bad Wolves.

So they just need a little push in the right direction to ignore that logical part of the brain. Perhaps by confusing it, by telling them that there only options are Wolves. The "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" is essentially just a lower IQ variety of Wolf that is too clueless to realize that women are naturally attracted to Wolves, and thus makes himself look ridiculous by pretending to be a Sheep.

I do agree that any guy who outright claims to be a "Feminist" is someone to be suspicious of. There are definite obvious signs for identifying the "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing", and it has nothing to do with that guy being a "nice guy".

But it's just as much BS for you to claim that if a woman gets with ordinary Wolf that it's going to end in marriage and "happily ever after". That's a fantasy I'm sure some women have, but it has absolutely no basis in reality. If you play with a Wolf, then with 99.9999999% probability you will end up getting dropped on your face in the end. You have better odds at winning the lottery, so you might as well buy up lottery tickets, if you think you'll be the exception to the rule.

Face it. Men are dogs, but they come in different breeds. Some are more loyal than others. And some are better behaved. Wolves are the absolute least loyal and least likely to be mannerly. Yeah, and some pretend to be things that they're not. That doesn't mean that the ones that aren't pretending as much aren't still trouble.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I ask her: "What do you value? Can you show me? I could write a book on the spot talking about myself; but let's not make this one-way. Where's the book of you? Let's compare notes."

- Decent women read that with intrigue. They feel flattered at opportunity, and want to begin an exchange. Even if it only leads to friendship; if it's a lifelong one, it's worthwhile. Sex shouldn't be the end goal, be all, end all. It should, at best, be a perk.

They see me gazing, sometimes at them; sometimes, into an unknown distance. Into a world beyond the immediately visible. Always, seeking something profound to return with.

- Worthy is the woman, who asks directions into that same, to share the journey of knowledge together. Companionship, the reward. A courage that sees the two through; even as society falls apart and the consequences seem dire. But to die together with dignity, is still better than a meaningless life apart.

- The shallow woman is intimidated by such as this; and seeks a way out.

- The immature woman rudely blows me off; or lies and tries to paint me as a rapist or a psychopath. Because what I really am is beyond what her insect-like mind can grasp.

- The bully troll seeks physical flaws to pick me apart for; when she can't even see me. But ignorance is not an obstacle for such as these. They care not how foolish they sound.

- The Tide Pod eater projects some political strawman into whatever I say; even when there isn't the most remote thing political about it! I seek to define the gender differences evident in the soul of a man versus a woman; and she interrupts with some insane lecture against "whiteness," and how it's "automatically bad."

I ask about the fundamental essence of life and love, to define one another, and she interrupts and screams at me that babies "don't have rights," sounding like a rabid cat as she does so.

- No woman is prepared for the verbal atomizing they receive, if they should violate sacred ground in my presence.

Pursuit of what is higher may make someone slightly wiser. Or possibly mildly good. But good is not always nice. Tis better to be a Sphinx full of riddles, than the "nice" guy or the overt bad guy. But beware: the idiot woman will assume you're a chainsaw-wielding psycho if you use a few too many words above three syllables.

[devilman666]

Omg is this a joke? Hahaha you went on three dates with the guy and you weren't ready for sex? If you're not attracted to him then just say so!!! Why lead the man on and take his money like that? Admittedly he can't expect sex like that but after that point I would have probably lost interest, it's clear the girl has no interest in him so he should stop wasting his time. If he's an asshole for wanting a real relationship then so be it!

And before I get some stupid comment saying, "I really wasn't ready though" or "I was attracted I just wanted to make sure he was serious", just dont even bother. We both know that shit is lies, you fuck men on the first date if they're bad boys, you love it, you know why you went for a date with that guy, he's hot and you want to fuck him. You didn't want to fuck the guy you went on 3 dates with, because you weren't attracted to him, you were only attracted to his money. Simple as that.

"Because I was bored and curious about him", stop lying, you wanted that dick, you know it, I know it, clearly he knew it, why lie about it? He made comments about sex and you pretended not to like it but in reality you loved it. Stop pretending to be an innocent person lmfao.

It's crazy how women will make the most obvious lies and then expect you to pretend it isn't a lie. You fuck one man on first date and another you won't even fuck on the third date, why? Why is that? It's because you were attracted to one of them and not attracted to the other, that guy could have saved 300 dollars and a lot of time if you were just honest about not being attracted to him.

[Ericalovescats]

Yeah he's authentic. Authentically an asshole and far worse than the so called nice guy.

The fact that the woman went in got unbelievably lucky is like betting the family fortune on a game of russian roulette and winning. It doesn't make you any dumber just because you won.

Your not better automatically because you're "authentic".

I can deal with whiny people all I want.

[Chriscunning]

I think you confusing 'con-artists' (or bad guys) with genuine nice guys.

I think you also confusing flirting and being direct with being a genuine bad guy. Nice guys can also be 'forward' and 'direct'.

[IAMNathanael]

I'd say neither of them are nice guys. The first might act nice but his intentions in the end prove he's a faker. Which isn't nice from the beginning.

[TomGarand]

My nigga, nobody likes nice guys.

Ladies like niggas who actually have SOME social skills and sincerity. Confidence is a plus.

[kikino]

Neither of those are good examples of nice or bad guys. First us a guy that expected to pay $300 for sex and the 2nd one was a blunt guy that went for what he wanted.
Both guys can be bad and nice depending on situation.

It took the first as an ass and the second as honest. Jmo

[Vetis]

WTF is a guy who "respects women"?

A LOSER...

Eternal Rule #1 of political science: It is better to be FEARED than to be LOVED, if each are exclusive.

History is replete with tough, often young men who were merciless in their chase of what was pleasurable to them.

EVEN THE VIKINGS, SAILED ACROSS OCEANS, EXPLORED THE UNKNOWN WORLD for the PURSUIT OF WOMEN, MONEY, LAND, AND GLORY.

Why would you think the dork that is nice but sits at home on his computer all day, who gets no respect from ANY BODY, would be respected by women?

And WHY is that same dork "respecting women"? For doing what exactly? For being the ideal form of human? That's the toxicity of the "nice guy" right there, he has no self respect.

He cannot deal with the harshness of reality. Instead of FIGHTING like a man for a Prize he desires, he curls up in a ball and CRIES about how unfair and "UNJUST" competition is.

NICE GUYS are more common than BAD GUYS in 2021. And you wonder why divorce has skyrocketed?

Im 20 years old, how the fuck are you geasers still unaware of this basic human dynamic, that man must interact with Nature, which isn't loving and nice at all...

Good luck when reality hits you, nice guys.

[RolandCuthbert]

You are eternally persecuted. And you will never take responsibility for yourself. You will only whine about the choices women make.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/nCKxp2yMa2c

[KibblesBits]

Bad guys are almost always brain dead / stupid and stupid people are always genuine and authentic. A lot of guys out there actually like really stupid girls for this same reason, authenticity. Smart people can get caught up in their own head and own thoughts too much and some people can't stand that.