Confessions of a Ladies Man: Nice Guys are Assholes, Bad Guys are Authentic

[Apope16]

The Nice Guy

He was a nice guy. He called himself a "feminist". He had a good job and had a good head on his shoulders. He was the type of guy who really respected women and said he wanted to treat me like royalty. He takes me to a bar and have a few drinks. By date three his is lavishing me with a necklace. He is so sweet and kind. On the third date he takes me to another fancy dining place. We had hours of fun conversation. He drops me off at my place. Such a great guy. He kisses me at my door and asks if I am ready. 'Ready for what?" I ask. He said he's ready for sex. I tell him I am not ready to have sex with him yet. Soon he explodes in anger and tells me he has wined and dined me and bought me gifts. He is yelling and goes away angry because he spent "$300 " and hasn't had sex yet.

He was a nice guy who was caring and giving because he wanted my pussy. Nice guys are the worst.

The Bad Guy

I met him online and he flirts with me. He says I am hot and I roll my eyes. He tells me a couple jokes and I like him because he is funny. I swipe right only on guys who have great jobs but even though he's not rich he is pretty hot. He makes me laugh on the dating app but then he starts talking about sex again.

He says "I dont read profiles. I saw your picture and I knew right away that I wanted to fuck you." I scolded him. I told him he was rude. He never apologized. He just said "I am being honest. I am a blunt guy."

He asks me out on a date. I agree to go because I am bored and I am curious about him. When i meet him in person he is actually charming and funny. I am surprised that we had deep conversation.

I am confused because he was not the guy online say ing "I want to fuck you. I am a blunt guy." The date was fun. I invited him to my place and we have sex. Now he is my husband.

[Majesty101]

I was having a mental breakdown reading this😂 There are so many misconceptions that are so blatantly exposed throughout this "evidence" of how, allegedly, "nice guys are assholes".

To shed some light on the situation, let me introduce a different explanation.

There are many different types of guys, the main four being the fake, the genuine, the asshole by society, and the narcissist... the first two fitting the "nice guy" category and the latter two fitting the "bad guy" category.

As far as the nice guys, the fake and the genuine are distinctly different in character, but have the same image by society. The power lies in the intent, which reveals whether they are wearing a mask or being truly honest about who and what they are. The fake, will play the role of the nice guy with the intent of accomplishing the goal of sex. The genuine, will also desire sex, but will desire more... wanting to build a fulfilling relationship, mentally, physically, and emotionally. The problem is, the fake is praised by society and spread throughout the dating scene, appealing to women with the mask they wear. The genuine are more likely to stay somewhat independent and introverted because they're character isn't highly accepted among women in general, which is a totally different subject, they are the needles in the hay stack, but totally worth the search. If you have pure intention as a women, you will surely take the time to wait for him or find him, if that what you really want.

Now, onto the "bad guys": the asshole by society and the narcissist. The assholes by society are my personal favorites😂 And here's my reasoning as to why they are "by society. You see, these guys are also factors of the genuine. They have the biggest hearts and are likely taken advantage of when they are young, so they grow to form a wall against society and portray the image of "the asshole" to protect their core because people were assholes to them. They are simply a mirror. The narcissist is the exact opposite in intent. Not only do they portray the asshole, they are truly the asshole with the mission to manipulate and be an asshole to others to make themselves feel better. They are also likely to have had a big heart when they were younger, and when they were taken advantage of, they took the opposite route with the aim for revenge against people.

Now, like I said, these are the four main types that I have observed as the most dominant throughout society. This will only apply to the majority, not to each specific individual. The only advice I can give to someone who wants to attract someone who will love them right, is to love yourself, the way you want them to. Treat yourself how you want to be treated and take the time to allow your person to follow.

[ragequeen]

If the man proclaims himself to be nice- HE ISN'T NICE. Otherwise, actions speak louder than words. Often you can tell if people have agendas if you pay close attention and don't fall for every guy down the road. There are authentic nice guys out there. I do agree that bad guys can be seen as more authentic, because what you see is what you get. It doesn't mean he is worth it, though. Just because people are themselves and are real about it, doesn't make them good people or partner material.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. This is a CONFESSION? What did you confess? That you are authentic? Hahaha!

2. I met a younger girl; she was a gold digger. I met an older woman; she had no expectations and fucked my brains out!

What does that prove? All younger women are gold diggers? Are older women are low maintenance and sexually charged? Wrong on all counts!

3. Yes, SOME guys who call themselves "nice guys" are wolves in sheep's clothing. They expect that if they act nice for a while, a girl will fall in love and fuck him 'til he can't walk. And he will get angry when that doesn't materialize. THAT is NOT a nice guy.

4. There are some "authentic" bad guys who are very upfront with a woman about wanting sex, she meets him and is so flattered that he values her sexually that she is "swept off of her feet" and into bed. And the next day, he is chasing after the next woman because all he wants is "new pussy." And she feels embarrassed about what she did, a bit angry at him and a bit angry at herself, and hopefully she becomes a little bit wiser.

5. Then there are nice guys who open doors for lady, help them with their sweater or jacket, help them get seated, bring them flowers, take them on nice dates. . . and DON'T think that they are entitled to sex just because they spent some money on the girl. The guy wants sex but he's willing to wait until she's ready and when she feels some affection for the guy and trusts him, they have sex but they call it "making love." And when that happens, they have the foundation to build trust and respect, and when feelings develop, they will be in love. And he won't be looking for "new pussy."

6. If it feels good to pat yourself on the back, go for it. We all have insecurities and need some reassurance from time to time, but it's usually more meaningful if that reassurance comes from others instead of our self.

[LoveIsFake]

Actually... I got something to say here 🤨
I've been called nice before for giving girls stuff however I never wanted anything in return. Also been called nice for helping people but that's because I know how it's like to have no one to help you or have anyone there.
My top characteristic is actually honesty, and when I mean honest I mean I will gladly hurt your feelings to tell you the truth rather than saying a beautiful lie. My honesty has definitely made people call me an ass or a dick but gets me straight respect 😎

With all honesty I am blunt and I have a tendency to not give a shit hence what they say a * bad boy* is but I'm also a giving person hence what a *nice guy* is so I'm trying to figure out where I fall into

[Desconhecida]

Do you really believe that?

[Spiffy_and_Tails]

"Bad guys are authentic"

Bad guy:
"... I want to f*ck you. I am a blunt guy."
"... I am confused because he is not the guy online saying 'I want to f*ck you. I am a blunt guy.'"

Please pick one. You can't have both.

[CrazyGirl2]

“Nice guys” are not nice because of what they say. Their actions are what makes them nice! And while the “bad boy” can be more authentic, what make you think “authentic” is synonymous with good, or great, or better? Dog turds are authentic... but it’s authentic shit! No forgeries there I’m afraid 😟!
While YOU say this person was a “nice guy” there were SO many red flags 🚩! Pretentious fancy restaurants... okay, some girls are into that I guess, but gifts of jewelry by the THIRD DATE? That is a massive red flag, and I don’t know any girl who would accept an expensive gift like that... especially on date THREE! A cute teddy bear, sure, but jewelry? I’m sorry, but if THAT is what qualifies as a “nice guy” you have VERY strange definition of nice!
As for Mr. “bad boy”... that isn’t a “bad boy” he’s just an asshole! Anyone who says anything like “I knew right away that I wanted to fuck you” is an asshole, and extremely disrespectful asshole at that! Oops, sorry an extremely disrespectful, yet amazingly authentic asshole! Look, I go to a private “Christian” high school. Which just means it’s exclusive and very expensive. All of my friends and I are sexually active, and we all have “nice respectful” boyfriends from “good” families. Translation... Wealthy and White! Except, that is for my friend Brooke! Brooke’s boyfriend is nineteen, lives on his own, and he either gets around on his Harley, or a beat-up old pick-up truck. He has a good job as a motorcycle mechanic, and he lives on his own terms, and does whatever the hell HE wants, translation... Bad Boy! But Greg treats Brooke like a goddess, he truly worships her! He can’t afford to buy her things, so he writes poems, and songs for her (did I mention he’s in a rock band? Of course he is!) By every definition he’s a bad boy, but he loves Brooke, and he would NEVER treat her, even remotely, like either asshole from your example. My boyfriend is the typical nice guy, he’s basically the opposite of Greg in every way except in the way he treats me, which again is also like a goddess! Look the lesson here, is that decent men come in both “nice guy” and “bad boy” flavors! But also assholes can LOOK like “nice guys” and “bad boys” but they are still just ass holes... Sorry, AUTHENTIC ASS HOLES! If your standard for decency in men is merely authenticity, then I’m sorry but even though I may only be 18, I’ve learned a hell of a lot more about what to expect from men and relationships than person who wrote that!

[TheNikJamJessProject]

Don't label men or put them into just 2 generalized categories. Every man is unique and you should treat them as such.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Honestly, I made a post on this topic before. I don't like Nice or Bad guys. I like GOOD guys, normal males who aren't completely shitty and whiney.

A good guy can be blunt and honest but still treat a woman or anyone for that matter with respect because it's a representation of his character. It's okay, if they just want sex, friendship, or a relationship. They just let it be known up forth and handle things in a mature way. Even if they have flaws they work on them are the best they can be. Which is who they are.

I'm more likely to have sex with a guy who treated me like an equal without any bias, and wasn't pushing for sex. Than someone who just thinks I'm a hole to fuck and I owe it to him to unlock his "soft" heart along the way if I want to be treated right or married.

"Nice" guys who are really bad are entitled and pathetic too. They are out for one thing but too coward to but be honest about it and treat the situation as such while still being mature. So really over both, and tired of people putting up the persona of one or the other to get what they want.

[Drakkith]

@Apope16
What was the intent of this confession? Of course the 'bad guy' in this specific example is authentic. You've made him that way. Are you trying to say something about 'bad guys' in general?

[yofuknutz]

If you are a nice girl you offered to give him half of the money back I take it you're not a nice girl a lot of people today not putting up with it no more three hundred bucks he should have got himself an escort satisfaction or money back guarantee which is what I can say for dates these days

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

What you describe is not a nice guy, is an idiot. A nice guys fits this part " He had a good job and had a good head on his shoulders. He was the type of guy who really respected women". Not the treat them like royalty, get a necklace so soon and get angry for not having sex.
That is a fake guy. Not a real nice guy.

[Dongtai]

Why does society push these two extremes? There's situation for both extremes but that doesn't mean you have to be one or the other at all times. Sometimes you need to be an asshole so the world doesn't walk over you and destroy you. Other times you need to be a nice "person" so YOU don't leave the world worse off and destroy other people. It's possible to have balance the positive qualities of both extremes.

I've never considered myself a nice guy or a bad guy. I'm just myself but I know the appropriate times to be nice or an asshole.

Times to be nice- Meeting a stranger for the first, with children and friendly animals, when you're helping someone. In general you want to be nice in calm situations that don't demand aggression or someone to "step up" and lead. The goal is to make the people around you feel comfortable and safe. If you're an asshole all the time, you're likely to make people feel threatened and loathe you over time.

Times to be an asshole- When you're leading or in a position of authority, when someone is intentionally crossing your personally boundaries, when protecting yourself or others. You want to be an asshole in situations that require you to be dominant. The goal isn't to be liked be respected. Some people don't respond well, if at all to "kindness" and won't listen until you put your foot down. If you're nice all the time it's likely people will start to walk over and take advantage of you.

The trick is to know "when" to be nice and when to be an asshole. Too much of one or the other will hinder you in the long run

[markml]

You're totally presenting a false dichotomy.

I see what you're doing...

Obviously, if a woman thinks her only options are the "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" (Nice Guy) and the regular "Wolf" (Bad Guy), then she is going to choose the second option.

But the reality is there are other options. You don't have to choose a Wolf. There are guys out there that are more like a "German Shephard".

Women are naturally attracted to Big Bad Wolves. I don't know if this is all women, but it's certainly a lot. All the ones I know of are. But the logical parts of their brain tell them it's a bad idea to play with these Big Bad Wolves.

So they just need a little push in the right direction to ignore that logical part of the brain. Perhaps by confusing it, by telling them that there only options are Wolves. The "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" is essentially just a lower IQ variety of Wolf that is too clueless to realize that women are naturally attracted to Wolves, and thus makes himself look ridiculous by pretending to be a Sheep.

I do agree that any guy who outright claims to be a "Feminist" is someone to be suspicious of. There are definite obvious signs for identifying the "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing", and it has nothing to do with that guy being a "nice guy".

But it's just as much BS for you to claim that if a woman gets with ordinary Wolf that it's going to end in marriage and "happily ever after". That's a fantasy I'm sure some women have, but it has absolutely no basis in reality. If you play with a Wolf, then with 99.9999999% probability you will end up getting dropped on your face in the end. You have better odds at winning the lottery, so you might as well buy up lottery tickets, if you think you'll be the exception to the rule.

Face it. Men are dogs, but they come in different breeds. Some are more loyal than others. And some are better behaved. Wolves are the absolute least loyal and least likely to be mannerly. Yeah, and some pretend to be things that they're not. That doesn't mean that the ones that aren't pretending as much aren't still trouble.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I ask her: "What do you value? Can you show me? I could write a book on the spot talking about myself; but let's not make this one-way. Where's the book of you? Let's compare notes."

- Decent women read that with intrigue. They feel flattered at opportunity, and want to begin an exchange. Even if it only leads to friendship; if it's a lifelong one, it's worthwhile. Sex shouldn't be the end goal, be all, end all. It should, at best, be a perk.

They see me gazing, sometimes at them; sometimes, into an unknown distance. Into a world beyond the immediately visible. Always, seeking something profound to return with.

- Worthy is the woman, who asks directions into that same, to share the journey of knowledge together. Companionship, the reward. A courage that sees the two through; even as society falls apart and the consequences seem dire. But to die together with dignity, is still better than a meaningless life apart.

- The shallow woman is intimidated by such as this; and seeks a way out.

- The immature woman rudely blows me off; or lies and tries to paint me as a rapist or a psychopath. Because what I really am is beyond what her insect-like mind can grasp.

- The bully troll seeks physical flaws to pick me apart for; when she can't even see me. But ignorance is not an obstacle for such as these. They care not how foolish they sound.

- The Tide Pod eater projects some political strawman into whatever I say; even when there isn't the most remote thing political about it! I seek to define the gender differences evident in the soul of a man versus a woman; and she interrupts with some insane lecture against "whiteness," and how it's "automatically bad."

I ask about the fundamental essence of life and love, to define one another, and she interrupts and screams at me that babies "don't have rights," sounding like a rabid cat as she does so.

- No woman is prepared for the verbal atomizing they receive, if they should violate sacred ground in my presence.

Pursuit of what is higher may make someone slightly wiser. Or possibly mildly good. But good is not always nice. Tis better to be a Sphinx full of riddles, than the "nice" guy or the overt bad guy. But beware: the idiot woman will assume you're a chainsaw-wielding psycho if you use a few too many words above three syllables.

[TomGarand]

My nigga, nobody likes nice guys.

Ladies like niggas who actually have SOME social skills and sincerity. Confidence is a plus.

[devilman666]

Omg is this a joke? Hahaha you went on three dates with the guy and you weren't ready for sex? If you're not attracted to him then just say so!!! Why lead the man on and take his money like that? Admittedly he can't expect sex like that but after that point I would have probably lost interest, it's clear the girl has no interest in him so he should stop wasting his time. If he's an asshole for wanting a real relationship then so be it!

And before I get some stupid comment saying, "I really wasn't ready though" or "I was attracted I just wanted to make sure he was serious", just dont even bother. We both know that shit is lies, you fuck men on the first date if they're bad boys, you love it, you know why you went for a date with that guy, he's hot and you want to fuck him. You didn't want to fuck the guy you went on 3 dates with, because you weren't attracted to him, you were only attracted to his money. Simple as that.

"Because I was bored and curious about him", stop lying, you wanted that dick, you know it, I know it, clearly he knew it, why lie about it? He made comments about sex and you pretended not to like it but in reality you loved it. Stop pretending to be an innocent person lmfao.

It's crazy how women will make the most obvious lies and then expect you to pretend it isn't a lie. You fuck one man on first date and another you won't even fuck on the third date, why? Why is that? It's because you were attracted to one of them and not attracted to the other, that guy could have saved 300 dollars and a lot of time if you were just honest about not being attracted to him.

[Ericalovescats]

Yeah he's authentic. Authentically an asshole and far worse than the so called nice guy.

The fact that the woman went in got unbelievably lucky is like betting the family fortune on a game of russian roulette and winning. It doesn't make you any dumber just because you won.

Your not better automatically because you're "authentic".

I can deal with whiny people all I want.

[Chriscunning]

I think you confusing 'con-artists' (or bad guys) with genuine nice guys.

I think you also confusing flirting and being direct with being a genuine bad guy. Nice guys can also be 'forward' and 'direct'.

[IAMNathanael]

I'd say neither of them are nice guys. The first might act nice but his intentions in the end prove he's a faker. Which isn't nice from the beginning.

[kikino]

Neither of those are good examples of nice or bad guys. First us a guy that expected to pay $300 for sex and the 2nd one was a blunt guy that went for what he wanted.
Both guys can be bad and nice depending on situation.

It took the first as an ass and the second as honest. Jmo

[Vetis]

WTF is a guy who "respects women"?

A LOSER...

Eternal Rule #1 of political science: It is better to be FEARED than to be LOVED, if each are exclusive.

History is replete with tough, often young men who were merciless in their chase of what was pleasurable to them.

EVEN THE VIKINGS, SAILED ACROSS OCEANS, EXPLORED THE UNKNOWN WORLD for the PURSUIT OF WOMEN, MONEY, LAND, AND GLORY.

Why would you think the dork that is nice but sits at home on his computer all day, who gets no respect from ANY BODY, would be respected by women?

And WHY is that same dork "respecting women"? For doing what exactly? For being the ideal form of human? That's the toxicity of the "nice guy" right there, he has no self respect.

He cannot deal with the harshness of reality. Instead of FIGHTING like a man for a Prize he desires, he curls up in a ball and CRIES about how unfair and "UNJUST" competition is.

NICE GUYS are more common than BAD GUYS in 2021. And you wonder why divorce has skyrocketed?

Im 20 years old, how the fuck are you geasers still unaware of this basic human dynamic, that man must interact with Nature, which isn't loving and nice at all...

Good luck when reality hits you, nice guys.

[RolandCuthbert]

You are eternally persecuted. And you will never take responsibility for yourself. You will only whine about the choices women make.https://www.youtube.com/embed/nCKxp2yMa2c

[AzzaBlue]

I think that it is important to differentiate between being nice and being kind. Nice guys (girls too) who act nice to get some kind of benefit/ reward are ironically not nice at all. However I do believe people should aspire to be kind. I find that people who are kind, do so for the sake of being kind. There is a huge difference.
So when you see a guy/ girl acting 'nice', ask yourself: Are they being nice or are they being kind?

[V4mp315]

My ex never mentioned he was nice nor a good person, also didn't mentioned how much of a horrible things he was capable of doing and making sure I would get the worst treatments ever. I'm such an idiot because I still love him. Wish he would never moved to be my neighbor, but ik that everything happens for a reason, I still don't know what reason made this happened but it did now I just gotta wait and see what's coming next

[FictionalCharacter]

That’s quite a gamble on a girl. The temptation of playing devils advocate of a girl wanting a loving relationship. But not knowing who to trust. Until the devil presents himself. The stakes are high, but what are the chances of winning? Except taking a uncomfortable risk.

[genericname85]

sometimes guys are genuinely nice and "bad guys" are just self obsessed douches. but as with "being cool", you aren't "nice", if you're the one calling yourself nice xD i would never refer to myself as a "nice guy". i think im no complete douchebag tho :D

[devilish-cutie]

I mean i think the moral of the story is that you shouldn't believe everything men tell you
So many think they are nice but really aren't, so many brag how they are sex experets yet they never fucked so honey please

[McKellar]

This is some serious, screwed-up shit I just read! I have been on a few dates with a few ladies, I have bought them like a drink & supper,... but I wasn't expecting sex out of them.

So apparently I have to be blunt, rude & a complete asshole just to get the girl?
I can understand women like confident men, but there's a huge difference between confidence & just being a dick.
I can see plenty of late teens to girls in their 20's falling for this.

[GOOSEBOY78]

you really want the chase (bad boy)... you dont want the the prey that lays down in front of you and dies (nice guy) otherwise where is the challenge?

it works both ways too girl. we dont want the one who is to eagar and wants to be our wife on the 2nd date...

[NMMan]

Both of these guys are assholes, just for different reasons.

[chHaynes]

Actually that's not true nice guys are authentic the bad guys are dumbasses women are hypocrites when it comes to saying they want a nice guy what they're saying is they want the badass look but with the nice guy attributes which you don't get that which makes them stupid very very stupid to think that

[Denial1984]

This is bullshit.

There are plenty of examples of imprisoned murderers drowning in fan mail from women.

Lots of nice guys are good people. Lots of jerks are just jerks.

Maybe women just aren't that attracted to "nice".

[Torari]

"nice guys" act like what they think women are attracted to. Which they have concluded entirely based upon bad, vague advice and romantic comedies.

"bad boys" act like themselves, and don't apologize for it.

Its easy to see why women prefer the latter. One is confident in himself, the other is trying to adjust his image to manipulate those around him.

[Giustinian]

To be honest not the all nice guys assholes and not all bad guys authentic...
they're tens of types...
and that kind of Nice Guy...==> he's nice because isn't strong and charismatic enough to be bad.
and the bad guy===> he's want to change but hell no... he will not be changed XD

[Paul09]

Society makes it seem like it's not worth being nice.. I am nice to everyone that is nice to me period. Fake nice people are not nice people.. Nice is nice, bad is bad
That's that. People fake and lie. People love liars I guess? Sucks being nice, end up being too nice, or just a friend type lol. Can't win being nice. But if I become a bad boy, oh man, I become the evil one lol

[clampfan101]

That’s not what a nice guy is. That’s just deception. There are genuinely good heated men, and just as much as good women. Nice people are simply easily overlooked.

[LightxSoul2]

To be honest, irl being like the asshole guy is the fastest way to get blocked.

[Neal_Anblome]

While many nice guys are either like this, or simply too weak and bland to be interesting, I'd say the woman from the example is pure trash. Going on a date and fucking someone who starts their conversation with a stranger by writing "I want to fuck you" is simply retarded. Not saying you need to hide your intentions or whatever, but some basic decency is necessary among normal intelligent human beings

[Kyrakk]

I couldn't agree more. Although bad guys at first stroke your ego by being blunt and honest they let you decide for yourself if this is what you also want. Guys that were super caring and nice once you did stg they considered inappropriate or they couldn't manipulate you anymore, they showed their true self and acted impulsively and couldn't handle their emotions.

[prince370]

I don't know about lavishing gifts, since I never gave any - I find it offensive to be paying a woman for anything at all (and if I do want to, it's 50 euros a pop at a red light district)

The rest, I am as blunt online, because I can't be bothered to appease - and as charming in person (because in person I am top/never had any troubles with anyone, except that a lot of women from online look a lot worse in person, but I am not a perfectionist anyhow)

[supercutebutt]

Why is this phony & ridiculous style of posting a thing? What's the point of it?

[SjE78]

what this has described mostly is player's maquerading as an honest or decent guy...
the problem is... if you try to convince someone you are nice, and cannot support that with proof by acting right, then clearly the person in question is not nice...

actions speak louder than words, but like anything actions nor words mean a damn if the women in question isn't willing to see or hear you... the same can be said about women too... and no matter whether you are male of female, if you have been hurt too many times it can result in that nice and trusting demeanor will often whittle and become less of who that person originally was... and believe me that feeling of being used or hurt by those you once trusted and lowered your walls to be with can often be difficult to recover from...

[Jaximus-Lion]

The opinions and comments 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is hilarious you guys 👌 top shelf quality 😂😂😂

[Citizenkirk]

O. K.- so where does the nice guy factor into this whole senario, or is he the imaginary alter ego of the asshole persona you just mentioned, like a metaphorically inaccurate Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde reference too this jerk that somehow wasn't a jerk until he allowed you to see his true colors 😉 at the conclusion of the whining and dinning stage of what he apparently misconstrued as a professional John-Call Girl setup.
By the way, I am a feminist, raised as such, by a single mom who believes in equal rights and mutual respect in gender relations. I don't put a lady on a pedestal, out of reach and separate from reality, but I do treat a lady like a human being, and expect the same treatment in return, if there is too be any possibility of a second date.

[JustTheTrue]

For some reason I can’t read anything because it kick me out of the post when I’m reading this

[ZackBan]

First off you broke the first AND second rule of fight club.

Second, cute story but it's subjective: so mr nice guy was a secret asshole who had ulterior motives but not enough spine to lay it on the table.

And the bad boy really just is someone who says it like it is and he decided he wanted sex. Not really a bad behavior if you ask me.

I see myself as a good man and yet when I talk to girls I meet online I point out what I think and what I want explicitly, without losing respect of course, but still I would tell a girl "I wanna sleep with you" with little introductions, and certainly no fance restaurant dates or expensive gifts. Those are for cowards who think they can actually get sex without taking the risky road that includes a chance of rejection

[psychoticanimallover]

Did you make up this little story yourself?

[glock33sig357]

It's not the nice guys are assholes, nice guys buy into the bullshit that shiviery gets you somewhere with women. It don't i was one and believe that treating a woman like a lady would get me eventually the pussy; i find being an honest with my intentions of wanting to fuck them gets respected or even blatantly ignoring a woman when everyone else is trying to get her number, women hate knowing that they can't get your attention even when they try. Treat them like there's nothing special and that you have other and better options than her and she will hate you but still be interested in you enough to persue you.

[Shubhamgupta]

Your experience proves that girls attracted towards the guys who doesn't give the shit for girls, like as you told that you had date both guys the and nice boys just express his feelings for sex but the intention of bad guy you had already know that's why you have already prepared yourself for the sex, I didn't find any nice or bad guy in this just the difference of expressing their feelings and when you already know the experience with the nice guys your mind already declare him as a bad guy and when other guy just express his feelings directly to you, you just accept the invitation that all, now I am sure your husband will have mood swing and if he told same thing to other women then the what is your value as his wife.

[DWornock]

I'm delighted that it worked out well for you. However, to judge men based on two experiences is worse than faulty logic; it is no logic at all.

[dwiller943]

Nice guys are chicken-shits
and assholes are selfish sleaze-bags.
So both are terrible tbh.

[Exotic_Insinuations]

I don't understand why do people like to make types so much. It's so unrealistic and plain compared to infinetly complex human nature and psychology that it just looks silly. It's almost like we are speaking about cartoon characters instead of real life people.

You have a mix of pros and cons in your personality. Some people will like you, some people don't, no matter who you are and what you're like. If you're not happy with something about yourself or people with whom you interact, just change it.

It's that simple.

[JosyJosy]

I see it like this. There are 'nice' guys and there are good guys. I often feel like if you Have to say that you're nice, you're usually not that nice. The good guys won't be bragging about how 'nice they are', they just are, you know. Or nice girl, can happen to. This happened to a friend of mine, she was just casually talking to a guy friend of mine, and then suddenly poured a drink over his head because he was leading her on, even though they were just having a casual conversation, no flirting. >>> 'nice girl'
Same can go for the nice guys. They might try to be nice, but they expect something in return, it's not unconditional, it's not nice :/
And I see the Bad guys as assholes, some are manipulators, abusive, dramaqueens, controlling, etc... just a bad time and not worth the trouble.

[Twinrova]

I feel like the archetype of "edge lord" is the best fit for op

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Both classifications are massively overstated in my opinion, in reality I imagine there's not many guys who really fit in either categories. Most men are focused on work, and only date when the opportunity and timing line up, and when on a date are neither overly blunt/cocky nor passive-aggressive/"fake nice". Most guys are just normal ass dudes working normal ass jobs living normal ass lives. It ain't good or bad, it just... is. Then there's the odd outlier who doesn't fit either "normal guy" or "nice guy" or "bad boy", but rather does his own thing and is very individualist but not an asshole. Typically those guys are engaged in more creative or entrepreneurial fields, and have lifestyle set up in a way where atypical approaches to dating are actually viable. But probably 4 out of 5 guys are "normal guys", and the other 1 in 5 are a mix of "NiceGuys", "Bad Boys", and "alternative guys".

[1031ent]

And the moral of the story is no matter what type of guy he is... we all want to fuck you.

[zagor]

This is bullshit. Nice guys don't go around labeling themselves, only phonies do that.

[richardhead]

Bwhahahah just be upfront and openly honest with them it will save you time hurt and a possible gun shot wound

[Gedaria]

Sounds ok.
But guys are not into two categories.

[NerviolettiRikki]

So a guy wrote this and then says the other guy ended up being his husband? I’m confused.

[skeetskeetskeet]

Id say every guy who takes a girl out has an agenda... some are just cheese dicks about it

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Those who call themselves "nice guy" are usually far from it

[Gosceewual]

i dunno... there are some guys who are acting nice to get a girl in bed..., and others who are acting nice cos they generally wanna be and like to treat others as they would like to be treated theirself... so i dont think all nice guys are actors... their are some genuinely friendly nice guys... and everyone gets mad some times... its all how u deal with it... if a girl rejected me for sex personally i wouldn't get mad cos i never feel entitled to sex and its her decision... why get angry at her for ur own mistakes?
if u was hot or attractive enuff she would want sex with u.,.. so id only have myself to blame... not her... but personally i wouldn't spend any money on a girl until after we have sex cos i dont wanna waste money on a girl whos not attracted to me and only sees me as a friend... thats stupid