Nice guys vs bad boys - which are the real men?

[lostpleasehelp81]

Ever known an experience where a women has chosen to go with a nice guy when she knows one of those arrogant idiot bad boys wants her as well?

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+1 y

Thinking about the willy at the moment.Being taken from behind and told how naught I am would be nice

[McQueen]

Here's a short allegory:

Friendzoned- Rejected guy who can't take a hint. He tries to be the good guy, but is actually the nice guy and complains why the 'bitch' won't take him. Rejected obsessor with manipulative designs. Danger level: -9000

Bitch- Proud queen, insecure, pairs with dbag

Douchebag- Friendzone's submission cry

Nice Guy TM- See friend zone

Good guy- Builds a utopia for everyone to live in, expects nothing in return.

Shy girl- Believes herself to be socially awkward, while possessing all the qualities of an ideal girlfriend or wife.

Shy guy- Lacks a hobby without a computer

2012 Apocalypse- Ignore Mayan predictions, people who want the world to end.

Sweet girl- What the Nice Guy TM thinks of his crush

Whore- First definition obvious; used by guys who can't take rejection

Bad boy/Jerk- Uses negative traits to gain dignity, sex and possessions with self-entitlement. Like Nice Guy TM who uses positive traits to mask the negative ones.

Bros before hoes- When male friends fight over the same girl and not really adhering to promise

Quiet person- Villain, mad scientist, antichrist and the definition of fear. Or the friendly person you greet everyday in your boring life.

Forever Alone- Yet to take the first step in puberty.

[lostpleasehelp81]

Yes what would be your advice? especially as the women I want has a badboy after who and I tried acting bad and its backfired

[McQueen]

Put it this way, a girl who likes bad boys is not worth anything and should tell you more about herself, guilty by association.

You going after this type of girl reflects how obsessive, possessive and stupid you are.

[Anonymous]

Nice guys are too nice. "Bad boys" can be more real.

Nice guys are not 100% honest. If a girl asks a nice guy if the dress on her looks good, he may just say it does as to not hurt her feelings while the so-called "bad boy" will let her know if it doesn't.

Nice guys cannot protect women. They are too scared and don't know what to do. The "bad boy" will step in and defend her when she needs it.

Nice guys are too insecure to express how they feel. The girl will never get to know what he's really thinking. If they do, they just do something stupid like smother the girl they barely know with a dozen roses at her doorstep after 3 dates.

Nice guys want sex but are too insecure to say so. They have too many emotional problems getting in the way and play by the "It's wrong to have hormones" policy and act like it's to respect women when they are actually desperate for sex all along.

Nice guys idolize women to the point where it is insulting to their own dignity. They'll meet a girl they barely know and act like she is a goddess without her even doing anything but looking pretty. This sets them up to be taken advantage of.

Nice guys cause their own problems.

[lostpleasehelp81]

Ok I here you.But arrogant men are not worthy and don't have positive sides to them yet women can't trun them down

[Anonymous]

Yes defintely! For me men need to be kind and know how to treat a girl well. But too nice would scare me off because I would get the impression they might be soft (or too nice for me!)

I like a guy who can take a bit of controll and enjoys dominance and power and is not affraid to show it and use it but still knows how to make me feel good in a romantic way time to time.

But some girls really do want the nice squishy romantic type only, ever.

[PlayFair]

A real man knows who he is, understands who is and likes who he is - with or without anyone around. He is stable, confident, strong, sophisticated, respectable and honorable.

[lostpleasehelp81]

And how to I become the above Playfair?

[PlayFair]

Well... Can you tell me about yourself? Who are you?

[lostpleasehelp81]

Ok Playfair

I am a 32 year old Englishman.Gone back to college to do a football coaching course.Do some voluntary work with a disability football team on Saturdays.Have no confidence in anything in life.Have good fashion sense in my favour.5 foot 11 inches in height and weigh 12 stone which is about average weight

[PlayFair]

I didn't ask you what do you do? Or how do you look? I said who are you? ... No confidence? Why? You don't like yourself? You need to. You sound decent enough to me. Why no confidence? You are in control of you. Why would you be someone you can't yourself like? What is so wrong with you that you don't like yourself?

[lostpleasehelp81]

To Playfair

Dont like myself as nice which is never a good thing when up againgst these arrogant guys women call badboys.Never had esteem.Dont like myself because I want to be a Dad but I can't attract any women which makes it even more difficult when these bad guys come along.

[PlayFair]

If you don't allow your mind to work for you, it will work against you. I think it is your confidence, or lack of it, that prevents women from being attracted to you. Think of it this way... you know yourself better than anyone else on this planet, right? If I can tell you yourself don't even like yourself...I tend to think I won't like you either. It starts with confidence.

[PlayFair]

I think guys who are jerks aren't secure enough to be kind. Who can't be mean? It isn't difficult. It takes a strong person to remain kind and gentle and caring despite the harshness of the world. Don't let mean spirited nasty people change you into becoming like them. If you come across one, just walk away. Don't worry, you're gonna be a great Dad and husband one day. Just live.

[PlayFair]

One more thing...do you really want to be with a woman who likes arrogant idiots? She herself might not be too great if she likes an arrogant idiots. Be yourself, and like yourself and eventually you will meet someone who understands you, desires you and deserves you. In the meantime, just live life, and don't settle for anything less than what you truly need.

[lostpleasehelp81]

Ok so how can I get confidence could you give me 5 tips?

Thanks

[PlayFair]

1. Make a list of all your positive qualities. And remember those are the things that make you great. (Don't talk about it too much when dating though. You need to just exuberate the essence of those things)

2. Be realistic. Realize not every woman you meet is going to like you. Do you like every gal you meet?

3. Find hobbies. Or figure out what talents you have, and spend some time developing those things.

4. Surround yourself with people who treat you ATLEAST as well as you treat yrself.

[PlayFair]

5. Smile. Be happy. Stop all negative self talk. Replace it with positive things. LIKE YOURSELF. Or be someone you can like. Not because others like it, but because you like it. Enjoy life and make yourself happy doing the things that you like to do.

[lostpleasehelp81]

Thank you

[PlayFair]

6. Find Jesus. :) You'll be fine. Just enjoy life, you know? There is no time for wasteful worrying. Don't let your mind deceive you into destroying yourself and your life. Your welcome.

[PlayFair]

Confidence is being happy who you are and not needing others to make you feel okay about who you are. The 'bad boy' gets the girl because he is going to be that same guy with or with out her.

[lostpleasehelp81]

Never thought of it like that

[PlayFair]

Someone who is constantly seeking the approval of others just isn't sexy, you know? Good luck

[Anonymous]

Real men are genuinely kind. I can't stand the guy who is nice to everyone because he is a coward. But if a guy is nice because that is who he is, that's genuine.

[Tripz]

finally someone who makes some sense

[SignificantOtter]

Alright guys, let's clear this up a bit.

The typical "nice guy" is a guy who engages in behavior that is needy, supplicative, and otherwise operates from a stand point of "please like me". He doesn't want to rock the boat and is typically scared to make real moves with women. These guys typically shower girls with too much attention and praise thinking that's what women want (this is where neediness comes into play)

A typical "bad boy" is someone who acts and appears confident. Women dig this about men. They want confident guys who know what they want and aren't afraid to go for it. Note, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and unfortunately, ladies fall for arrogant dudes mistakenly.

A true gent is someone who is confident, respectful and knows what he wants in life and with women. He's not afraid to go for it, he's not afraid of risking rejection and he's not scared of showing her he's interested in becoming more than friends.

[Ameya]

I have seen Girls confuse Bad Boys for being stronger guys which is not always the case and end up screwing themselves, however even as a guy who would like all goody goody guys around? Being a 'Good Guy' never really means being polite, being very aloof, or being quiet, shy & sweet...you have to take charge and pursue your girl with a mild aggression coupled with a friendly yet a bit sarcastic sense of humor. ..just be yourself !

[lostpleasehelp81]

Thanks you seem like a good guy.Are you good with women?

[Ameya]

Oh don't call me a good guy, I am pretty normal ;) . I am alright with women, as in neither too bad nor too great. They like me, accept me the way I am.

[selfishstars]

Can you please explain to me what makes someone a "nice guy" and what makes someone a "badboy"?

[lostpleasehelp81]

Nice guy displays that he cares about women.Badboy displays that he does not.Badboy is arrogant nice guy is not.Nice guy can be trusted badboy can't.Nice guys make good leaders sometimes without having to scream and shout.Badboys terrible leaders as they sap other people's self esteem

[selfishstars]

Well, if those are how you define those terms, then it's pretty obvious that women will see "nice guys" as positive and "badboys" as negative.

I think that in reality, most people have a combination of good and bad traits.

[iNeedYourAdvice]

I don't think it's as black and white the QA put it. I guess that it's more the "bad boy" type tend todo nice things simply to get the girl to put out and or do what he wants. Nice guys just want to make the girl feel special. IMO that is why so many girl end up with "bad boys". Because they always pretend to be nice and are also confident (or more so arrogant). I used to wonder this often.. :)

[selfishstars]

I understand what you're saying, but...

"Nice guys just want to make the girl feel special."

This isn't always true. It makes it seem like a lot of these guys are selfless and only doing nice things because they care about the girl and want her to feel good. But then a lot of these guys will go on to complain about getting "friend zoned". This suggests to me that they weren't doing it just because they're "nice guys", they do those things because they want something from the girl (just like

[selfishstars]

the "bad boys"). The only difference is that they want a relationship (which generally includes sex), rather than just sex.

Now, obviously if you want a relationship with someone, you're going to do nice things for them and you're going to want to make them feel special, etc. And yes, it's really disappointing if it turns out that she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her. But a lot of "nice guys" get upset/angry/bitter because "I did all these nice things for her but she

[selfishstars]

still won't date me" and that seems really entitled to me. It comes across like her friendship isn't worth anything to you unless there's the potential for it to become more.

[Konnour]

Are you still a teenager?

Such black & white thinking won't get you far - nothing is downright pure or completely bad.

[lostpleasehelp81]

I am 32 so been around long enough to see the evidence.Its a sad world out there

[Anonymous]

Please shut up and stop acting like those are the only two types of guys in this world.

[lostpleasehelp81]

Ok so what other types are there?

[Opinion Owner]

If you are seriously asking that, then you are an idiot.

Look past your ridiculous heightened insecurity and realize that the men in this world don't consist of "us bitter, lonely nice guys" vs "those hot, desirable bad boys". You GAG guys sound ridiculous preaching about this sh*t as if it's some true struggle in life like you guys are trying to be the "Bitter Nice guys movement" in America. smh, first world problems!

[TimB -1-2-3]

False dichotomy... Your question is invalid..