"Girls Just Want To Date Assholes"
Damnit I'm so tired of this. But since we're generalizing..
It's not a question of nice guys vs assholes...
It's a question of strong guys vs weak ones.
Girls don't want assholes. I don't think there's many girls who wake up and think "gee golly, I hope I find myself an asshole today!"
They're just attracted to a guy with confidence. Which by now, you've probably heard but let me clear this up. A lot of assholes are (good at acting) confident, and a lot of nice guys aren't. Which means assholes get their foot in the door first, but they generally don't last too long.
The problem with not being confident is that girls don't want to be turned into your psychologist or your mother. They don't want to have to hold your hand through everything. They don't want to feel crowded when they just want their 'me' time. They want someone who is happy with HIMSELF, because someone who isn't, is emotionally draining and doesn't make the girl feel very good about themselves or the life they would have ahead of them.
I mean, come on man. What would you want in a girl? Someone who can't be without you, who hovers over you, needs to be in constant communication with you, freaks the hell out when you're not around, and just all-around isn't happy with herself? Or do you want a girl who is confident and fun and gives you your space and can take care of herself? Which sounds like a more healthy relationship to you?
If "nice guys" would stop living in this great big bubble of irrational fear, you would see a hell of a lot more of girls dating them. But they rarely do. They're "too shy," or they're "too insecure" to ask them out, and they won't tell the girl or even give them any indication that they're attracted to them, even if they want them to. When a 'weak guy' does end up dating them, they get jealous over everything, are negative about themselves, or are cloying and giving the girl no room to breathe or be their own person. And quite often, weak guys don't really have personalities of their own or life experiences to share or stories to tell, meaning the relationship just becomes a negative, crowding experience.
There's also the fact that they're so desperate they'll take anything, and no girl particularly enjoys the feeling of being interchangeable with any other random vagina that would've said yes. A man with standards IS attractive. A man without them ISN'T. If he has none, it tells girls that he's insecure, desperate, and will not provide for an enjoyable or emotionally healthy relationship. It tells them he doesn't know how to select for beneficial traits for compatibility in a partner. It tells us he doesn't actually care all that much about who we are as people. None of that is attractive.
The best combination? A heart of gold with confidence to back it up. There's nothing more attractive than just losing that damn fear and being content with your own company. You're not a fucking child anymore, you don't need a parent to guide you and mind you and keep you company, and girls don't want to be your parent. They want to be your partner.
And they want you to like them for them, not just because they're something to fill the hole.
Simple summary: Don't mistake yourself as a "nice guy" when you know for a fact that you're really a "weak guy who really lacks confidence in who he really is and is afraid to show it". There's no shame in this, but at least own up to who you really are, so you can start improving.
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