I don't consider myself as a nice guy and I never did, so it makes this myTake very unbiased. I don't consider myself as a mean guy either. I have an average personality (most people do). This is a myTake about some of the truths I've noticed about nice guys.
The informal term's meaning
A 'nice guy' is an informal term for an adult male who portrays himself as gentle, compassionate, sensitive and/or vulnerable. The term is used both positively and negatively
What is a nice guy?
A nice guy is a genuinely nice person who identifies as a male. That's it. A nice person is a nice person. It doesn't matter what gender they are. I know we all have different interpretations of what it means to be nice. Your definitions might be different for each gender without you realizing it. You're not the only one, a lot of people have formed biases and prejudices about nice guys. This is how the intersectionality of being male and being nice have came together to form positive/negative stereotypes and gender biases about nice guys. It depends on who's judging them.
The difference between a nice guy and a pushover
Many myTakes have described a nice guy as a pushover. This is not to say that nice guys can't be pushovers even though some guys on here claim that nice guys can't be pushovers. Sometimes they go on to describe a nice guy as someone who isn't actually nice, but as someone who has an average personality. People need to STOP changing definitions just so the definitions can fit themselves. Being nice and being a pushover are two different things. A person can be one or the other, and it is possible for someone to be both. However, nice people tend to be pushovers because they tend to put others before themselves, but nice people can/should find a way to nicely say "no." Sometimes I need to be protective of my dad because he's nice and he puts others before himself.
What do people think when they hear "nice guys"?
Usually pictures of unattractive guys pop up and that's because girls give off the myth that personality matters more when, in reality, it doesn't matter more. Part of the reason is that rich, intelligent, and handsome men don't have to be nice. Those guys already have something that makes them successful and they don't need to be nice. Being nice is a choice for them. I know there are some guys who are exceptions to this rule. My dad is one of those exceptions.
Guys who don't have looks, intelligence, or money compensate for these things by being nice. Usually the niceness is not a genuine kind of nice because, deep down inside, they might be bitter and want something in return for being nice. Bogus people are not well liked, and this is why some people have a bad perception of what it means to be a nice guy. However, I know there are some guys out there who are exceptions to this rule. There are bitter/mean guys who aren't handsome, rich, or intelligent. I find it so funny when bitter/mean guys claim to be nice.
Niceness isn't considered a masculine trait
Traditionally, masculinity was not associated with niceness. If you look at the chart below, niceness is perceived more as a feminine trait. We live in a misogynistic society that is prejudice towards males who have traditionally "feminine" traits. We are expected to act like a gentleman and have manners like one, but we aren't expected to be "nice." This is why nice guys get so much hate. That's why nice guys have been also been associated with other traditionally "feminine" traits such as sensitivity, submissiveness, clingy (dependent), vulnerable, and etc. This is not to say that nice guys can't have traditionally feminine traits and it's not necessarily a bad thing for someone to have them. Like I said, it's possible for someone to possess two (or many) traits at the same time and it's possible for someone to possess only one (or very few) of them. We need to stop stereotyping people, and give people a chance to prove themselves.
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