When I was a young man, my generation thought that we were radically different from our parents' generation, we did things differently, and they were simply incapable of understanding anything about us. We didn't want to listen to their advice and we learned all of our lessons the hard way. Fifty years later, I realize my generation was just like me parents' generation, except that we drove newer cars and listened to louder music . . . but the boy-chases-after-girl-until-girls-lets-him-catch-her story was just the same, including all the sexual games and escapades.
Your generation may think that you are radically different from your parents' generation, you do things differently, and your parents are simply incapable of understanding anything about you. You are probably wrong, just like we were wrong, so if you want some dating advice that MAY have some relevance to your life, continue reading. If not, TTYL.
1. There were many girls I could have dated when I was very young, but I had my standards and I didn't want to go out with THOSE girls. I should have realized that it's just a date; going out with a girl doesn't mean that you're going to marry her. And dating someone, getting some experience, instead of sitting home on Friday and Saturday nights . . . my social development would have happened much quicker. I'm not suggesting that you should date a girl whom you abhor or detest, but if you can imagine having a few laughs together with her, give it a go. You might even get surprised!
2. If you have known the girl for a while, this section doesn't apply as strongly, but . . . a first date is your only opportunity to make a good first impression. Would you rather make a good first impression or a lackluster first impression? So dress nicely enough that it looks like you are trying to make a good impression. Be on time. Select a nice location, something that will tell her "he's trying to make a good first impression on me," but nothing over-the-top.
3. When you meet, compliment her on her appearance unless she really looks like a total slob. Odds are that she spent a bunch of time worrying about her hair and her nails and things that you'll never notice, and if you compliment her, she will feel that her effort was not wasted.
4. You don't have much dating experience and you're afraid that you will run out of things to say and it will be awkward. There are some questions that are always appropriate for a first date, and you should review a list of questions before the date. You can even store them on your phone and review it when you excuse yourself to go to the men's room. Having this questions available WILL keep the conversation going!
Do you still live at home?
How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Are they all still at home?
Do you share a bedroom with a sibling?
Has your family lived here your entire life?
What do you want to do after high school/college?
What's the stupidest question a guy ever asked you on a first date? After she answers, respond, "Man, I'm glad I asked! I was getting ready to ask you that same exact question!"
Do you like watching any sports?
What kind of movies do you like?
What are your favorite restaurants? (These last three questions can give you ideas for future dates if you are heading in that direction.)
5. Find out something about her interests and, hopefully, there are one or two that are also interesting to you. Do a bit of online research to educate yourself about her interest so you can ask about that. If she is into classic rock 'n roll, ask her if she is a Beatles fan, Rolling Stones, etc. That will get her talking.
6. If you take her to a restaurant, she may be nervous about what to order: shouldn't order the most expensive thing on the menu but doesn't want to insult you by ordering the cheapest thing on the menu, either. So you make a few suggestions. "I might get the Blue Crab Cakes" or "I hear the Strawberry-Crusted T-Bone is excellent!"
7. If you are self-conscious about excusing yourself to go to the restroom, you don't need to announce, "Excuse me but I'm going to the men's room to do number two." Just get up and, as you are rising, say, "Excuse me. I'll be back in just a minute."
8. When the waiter asks if she wants dessert, she will say "no" but she really wants to say "yes." So, before she has a chance to say "no," say "I'd kinda like to try a dessert but I don't want a whole dessert. Would you like to share one with me.?" Of course, she will agree to do this as a favor to you. Ask her what looks good and she will probably select whatever has the most chocolate in it. So you order that with two spoons or two forks, and sharing a dessert requires that you sit closer together, so you have a chance to become a bit closer!
9. After the dinner, if the date is going well, have a follow-up activity planned. "Would you like to go watch the trucks being unloaded at the Kroger?" or, hopefully, something more entertaining than that, like "would you like to go to the music festival in the park?" or whatever people do at 8:30 or 9:00 pm in your area.
10. At the end of the date, when you are saying goodbye, move forward to give her a hug. Make it a full body hug but don't put your hand on her butt! Not yet! Pull your head and torso back from her but keep your arm around her waist, then look directly into her eyes . . . from about six inches away. If she closes her eyes, tilts her head to the side, or moves her head one millimeter closer towards yours, she wants to receive a good night kiss and you should not disappoint her! It's a first date, so this isn't one of those I'm-going-to-examine-your-tonsils-with-my-tongue kisses but it is a kiss on the lips that lingers for a few seconds. Then you back away, wait a few seconds, and say "I hope to see you again real soon."
You just had a successful first date!
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