A noobs journey through Tinder

[NerdyAndTall]

Introvertedness, peer pressure and a non existent dating life, these are the reasons i joined this carousel of dick pics, content sellers and "nice people" all to find THE ONE..."this is the way of the mando.....Tinder girl".

So how were my 2 weeks on Tinder, it went about as well as expected, some good a lot of shit, made some friends made some enemies, learnt little and my expectations ruined.

The meaningful highlights

• 3 dates nothing past 2nd date, became friends with one of those dates (she's a helicopter pilot for the forest service and one of the most wholesome persons I've ever met, also yes i got friend zoned stfu its not always a bad thing) the other 2 were duds but both took it well.
• Matched with my substitute teacher from high school (i didn't recognize him but hey recognized me) and subsequently retched after being told "I've filled out my body nicely since then".
• blocked 7 times for not replying whilst at work with a highlight being "real women dont work goodbye bitch" after explaining i was at work.
• a lot of women ending chats with self promotions to their content (nothing against sex workers but im trying to find love damnit)
• The revelation that its not just guys that can be "nice people" and that women can be just as bad.

So on the whole, lots of matches, lots of dead ends.

So questions

• "why do women complain so much about online dating when they have endless options to choose from and can pick the most compatible men out of hundreds that write to them,they are spoiled for options!? - so i cannot speak for every woman who uses a dating app but at least when it comes to me there's not a lot in the way of options, if you mean just people that find me "attractive" then sure but that's a different subject for a different time, if you mean in terms of personal feelings and compatibility there's really not and you have to filter through a lot of fluff to find an ounce of mutual likeness.
• Do women realize just how shitty online dating is for men who are less than a 10/10 in looks and under six feet tall? We literally get NO ONE writing to us, even as a reply to our own messages, its so skewed in favor of women and yet they still complain - Have a rough idea and id like to use my powers of analogies to describe it, Women get 100 cakes but 98 of them have laxatives, men get 2 cakes a year. Not my best work but maybe you get my point.
• When putting together your dating profile, are you aiming for a type of guy or just very general? - in a way, i put what i like and was honest with who i am and what to expect
• When or if you agree to meet someone for a date, what security do you advise or carry out before meeting? - as a general rule LET SOMEONE KNOW WHERE you're GOING AND WHO WITH! i cannot stress this enough, going to busy places is smart and refraining from alcoholic drinks until you know you're comfortable with them is good.
• How to make a girl comfortable through a dating app? - patience, a lot of guys rush or try and push the conversation a certain way so just slow down, think about what yore writing because with messaging its almost impossible to convey emotions and proper context.

Was a little rushed when writing this so sorry about that, thank you for reading and feel free to give feedback and ask questions pertaining to the take, hugs and love from this idiot <3

suggestions for future mytakes would be great too if you're interested in my opinion on stuff

[EmbraceThePain]

Yeah, women have more options for sex, also, perhaps dating, BUT, women clearly do not just want sex and the men available might not be to the woman’s liking. For dating, it’s a similar thing, where there’s probably even less men that might actually be right for the woman. For example, a woman might have 50 men to choose from to date, but there’s only 4 of them that are truly good matches for her. The other 46 other men aren’t necessarily bad men, but for one reason or another, the woman just doesn’t like them to date. When women date, they are thinking of the long term. In other words, they ask these questions:


•Can I marry him?
•Can I have children with him?
•Would I want to live with him for the rest of my life?
•Do I love him?
•Is he good with dogs?
•Does he have anger issues?
•Would my parents like him? Would be work well with my parents?
•Would he be too controlling?
•Does he have the same views as me on important topics?


And much more


This significantly lessens the pool of proper dates for the woman.

[NerdyAndTall]

I tried as best as I can to not speak for men about the men dating scene, but that's well said thank you

[Boppy]

If the men are thinking long-term as well, then it stands to reason they'd have to ask these question too.

[TallAnon]

To continue on your analogy, men don't get 2 cakes, we get 3, one with laxatives, 1 that looks like chocolate but turns out to be shit and 1 that we have to pay for, but we only get pictures, not the actual cake.
And I'm decent looking, 6'7, with a good job. Imagine if you got some issues, like a disability, that's pretty much game over.

[NerdyAndTall]

An analogy that I admittedly half stole was the best I could do.

I do agree with you

[Fion3il]

you forget that every leap year you actually get the one good cake and you have to hope it works out

[TallAnon]

That cake is usually damaged because someone ate it wrong and is now dangerously close to falling from the counter

[Fion3il]

true. Kind of describes the cake im craving rn

[TallAnon]

Careful, while they're nice at the moment, you'll be fat tomorrow and the cake's gone

[AudreyV92]

Girl!!! I've been on tinder and a few other dating apps. They were all nightmares as soon as the guys and even a few of the girls found out what I do for a living they all thought it meant guaranteed sex, some of them didn't even want to finish their drinks/food (one guy even asked me if I wanted to have sex in the bathroom, and this was at a Chili's that was full of people including families with kids. Did he think I was just going to drop my pants and say "do me here on the table so people can watch" just because of my job) Never again girl, never again. Believe me when I say you have my sympathies

[Inbox]

@audreyv92 What happens if he asks at a Charlie's Steakhouse? LOL jk If I'm right about what you do for a living, you have my sympathy - it's not an easy career to be in. Although, I'm in agreement with you: dating apps I think are purely superficial. I like to meet women in person and you'd be surprised how many are open to meeting men as long as they don't come off too strong or creepy in grocery stores, class, gyms, etc. I think women need to put themselves in places where to meet single and decent men (same for guys), but dating apps... I'd never recommend that.

[have_a_good_day]

... are... are you... a pharmacist?

[Daniela1982]

Did you actually write this about your own experiences or is it just for humor? Are you bisexual as you are dating both men and women? And is it really just a Hook Up site as I have surmised? All in all it doesn't seem like it would be a site I would use. In fact it seems more like Instagram.

[NerdyAndTall]

I mean I tried to make it humorous? But no it's my real thoughts and feelings on the experience

[Daniela1982]

Well I did notice the humor so good job there.

[ManOnFire]

I remember when I tried Tinder some years back. I actually found it to be the worst dating app I ever got on simply for the fact that you really can't message anyone unless you match with them/they match with you. I had no idea it's gotten so much worse since then, although I did hear about sex workers on there nowadays, but they also plague Whisper as well.

I also think the chicks on Tinder may have been the worst of any dating platform I'd ever been on. I remember one girl posted in her list of things about her that she had big boobs, but then warned guys not to send her dirty DMs. A few women were married and looking for young white males to swing with. And the rest were just not very interesting and seemed to think posting pictures of their dogs or all the places they went were sufficient for an appealing profile.

[Guy13]

Thank you for putting this together as it reaffirmed some things that i thought were no longer true about the way women looked at men. The questions that are considerations were very helpful to see coming from a woman.

[Jake99999]

Hey this was really well written and some good insights. I think online dating gets a bum rap in a lot of ways. They’re all kinds of different sites, some focused on quick hook ups, some focused on more serious relationships. Just like the real world dating the old fashion way you have to filter through a lot to really get to know somebody and find something special. I think many of the dating apps make it simpler for you to find somebody and to at least get past initial impressions of how they look what they think what their background is, And what things they care about. And at least save you some time and you have a much bigger pool to choose from vs just wandering around local bars and going to parties or hoping to run into someone really awesome that matches really well at the grocery store. Online dating works really well for some, for others they have a horrible experience and then constantly are bashing it and anyone who would try it. I think your success depends on how well you profile yourself, how authentic you are (realistic photos that are not photo shopped, being honest about your information). Also requires some skill in communicating, being patient, being able to weed out the crazies. I will say this much if you are socially awkward and not very good at dating and communicating and meeting people in real life, doing it from an online app is not going to automatically make all those problems go away. The fact is, there are a lot of very authentic good people out there who are good communicators and can do a pretty good job at finding somebody worthwhile online. If you’re thinking about it giving it a try for yourself pick the right site based on what you’re going for and don’t listen to haters who may have failed - because their experience it’s not guaranteed to be your experience.

[JustinTimberlegs]

God, blocked because you were at work? Wow that's ridiculous.

I tried bumble once, killed my self esteem lol I think I was on there for 5 months and never got a proper match (got like two who didn't really respond or unmatched, I think they must have accidentally swiped wrong). The filters were as wide as possible and I swiped yes to everyone, I thought at least I could have a conversation if it's a bad match. Went through all available matches everyday, like hundreds of profiles lol

I do understand it's just as bad for women though, in different ways. All the wierdos and stalkers, hard to find someone with genuine intentions.

I'm glad you found a friend at least :)

[MCheetah]

"The revelation that its not just guys that can be 'nice people' and that women can be just as bad." I LMAO'ed at that! Something men have known the entire time, but many try to pretend doesn't exist.

As for the cake analogy: Men's two cakes a year have a razor blade in them. They look sweet on the outside, but will cut you the moment you try to dive into them. I think laxative cake is better than no cake at all. At least until you stop desiring it and become acakeual and just decide you're better off hungry. But I get it.

Nice myReview. Kinda wanted to hear more about each individual date, though.

[ChrisMaster69]

@nerdyandtall really good MyTake.

I can see why I had to be quiet lol.

very accurate with the cake analogy, sums it up really well.

the other bit with those two cakes, when you do get them, one that’s been advertised as fresh is well past its shelf life.

Did you find any specific meet up venues worked better than others?

[NerdyAndTall]

Thanks :) and sorry I maybe should a taken your points since I had to rewrite it completely.

Coffee shop for 2 of them and my house for the last, was a little strange having a "date" at my house but it was relaxed

[ChrisMaster69]

@nerdyandtall I would always advise against a date at your or there house.

Mainly for stalking later

[NerdyAndTall]

Oh no I fully agree, was the helicopter lady mentioned in the above and it was already agreed in a way that we were just friends lol

[ChrisMaster69]

@nerdyandtall lol I do that with names I’m really bad and rename people so I remember them

[have_a_good_day]

I've been on Tinder for 2 months now. I created a profile because I was bored and don't really feel like going "out there" to meet people.
Got a ton of matches.
Tried to start conversations with every person who matched with me because I'm such an incredible human being 🤷‍♀️
The quality of women on that app... it's horrendous.
Literally just one of the entire bunch was an incredible person. We didn't make it to the first date because the turn off was that she kept on second guessing herself; constantly asking me why a guy like me would like a girl like her.
Tinder is, in my opinion, filled with a bunch of broken people - patchwork dolls - who essentially don't really know what they want and, even if they think they do, are too scared to follow through.

[TikiTook]

Yes.

[zeitgeist057]

"you have to filter through a lot of fluff to find an ounce of mutual likeness." - same for guys, except you get much less quantity, yet the same ratios fluff to mutual likeness. So sure, sucks you have to wade through fluff, but still beats wading through a desert to find a small tuft of fluff that turns out not to be what you were looking for anyway so you wander another 40 years to find another piece of fluff that won't be what you're looking for, either. As you said, "Women get 100 cakes but 98 of them have laxatives, men get 2 cakes a year." but you left out the part that the two cakes we get are constructed out of laxatives (because the ratio of finding compatibility is still the same). So it takes 50 years to get that same 100 cakes you got.

but wait, what happened? You said you found THE ONE? Or not?

[MotorcycleMan]

It's a cesspool for sure.
I joined Tinder on a bet. A guy at work said there were nothing but prostitutes there. I bet him that wasn't true. I created a profile with a picture of a guy in a suit with nothing but a bag of money for a head. What I saw were a few prostitutes (and/or sugarbabies), a few who wanted me to follow their "insta", some spammer/scammers who want to draw you off to some other chat app, some who wouldn't talk at all, and 1 or 2 actual nice people, to who I had to explain that I wasn't actually looking for a date.
So, a month of work to win a $5 bet, but at least it provided daily entertainment in the office. lol
Maybe with an actual picture I'd have different results

[John_Doesnt]

Men use online dating wrong which is why they don't get many replies. The key is to lie. Women will easily believe you're a 6 figure income earning pilot or lawyer or doctor. It's not hard to post a fake profile pic with a doctor outfit from Amazon. You get flooded with actual women asking you out. If you're out walking and see a Corvette or Ferrari parked, then take a few selfies standing next to it. You'll instantly get 100's of replies from women online.
Women don't complain because they get crappy replies. They complain because there's not enough rich men on there who will buy them shit.

[SunnyFlorida]

YOUR ANALOGY in Online Dating For Men vs Women in Online Dating: "Women get 100 cakes but 98 of them have laxatives, men get 2 cakes a year and both cakes have worms."

You should really try creating a Man's profile on Tinder and see if your advice works.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/DZTIbHIsIYw

[NerdyAndTall]

didn't give advice and from what I've heard it isn't great

[Seinna]

I think she didn't really approach it like a guy should... I never reply to a simple "hi" or "how are you". Literary any other conversation starter and I would if I matched. What can you reply to "hi [name]"?

It puts the burden of picking a conversation topic on the girl that you yourself message and only those who are really desperate will engage in it. Most women prefer to be picked up, that's the natural way, that's how it worked for the past thousands of years.

It's true that women get a lot more attention so if 3 guys message me something related to my profile or write a sentence about themselves, something to which I could ACTUALLY form a response, why would I reply to a lazy "hi"? It's not even a small talk. A "hi" might do in real life if the person is super charming and uses body language and facial expressions but not on a dating app.

[Rangers]

My recommendation for guys is to meet girls here instead, you don't need to be a perfect 10/10 with giant muscles and 12 pack abs to get a response like you do on Tinder and as annoying as people on here can be (me included) people here are 1,000× more genuine than anyone on Tinder. Most girls on Tinder just want an ego boost anyways, they won't like you and sure as hell won't reply.

Find a girl you like on here and start the conversation, all she can do is not say anything back or maybe block you but just move on then. I met both of my only 2 girls friends I've ever had on here.

[blondfrog]

Thanks for pointing out both so sides. It's so annoying when people who make these type of mytakes only mention the sides from their own experience and gender and not the opposite. Every dating site is really just filled with spammers or people who just want sex. It's not just tinder they are all like that. Just go out there in real life and meet people. That's really the only way.

[blondfrog]

By the way this take deserves a 5 star.

[Lynx122]

If you say men get 2 cakes a year you forget something. Women are not all good to date either or you might just not be right for each other. So if you get 2 cakes a year and you still have the chance that there's laxatives in them that really sucks. I do know though that it's not easy for women either and I sympathize with that.

[MM5578]

This is an interesting take. I don’t know why someone would block you just because you didn’t answer them right away. That is weak and seems narcissistic on their part. Your analogy is clever, and spot-on; it shows the problems both men and women face while dating online. It’s bad for everyone. I have not had any luck with tinder, but I live in a sparsely populated area with few options.

[XSea-Sonic]

Tinder’s just a hookup site 80% of the time. So have fun.
Match. com’s geared for relationships.

On either site, honesty works wonders. If you’re looking for a relationship, say so. If you’re looking for a hookup? Say so. Integrity pays off.

[t-8900]

Look I'm just going to give some honest advice here. Meet up in a public place, leave SEPERATELY in a public place. Carry on your person proper defense. Some Sabre OC Spray, a taser gun, etc. Let people know where you are going. And also DON'T have sex on a first date OR have them expecting it! Ladies SECURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE GIVING BEDROOM ACCESS!

[Jlegacy]

Personally I went on tinder just to have the experience. Put up my money and good looks and tried out the girls. Met a girl once who said she was not a hook up. Dangled money at her and she fell like a pack of card. Girls had me pricing them for a night or weekend. It was too ugly to watch. I ran out without following through. Not even a single date.

[RealMarek]

Very interesting. Have you tried dating sites other than Tinder and seen any differences?

[NerdyAndTall]

Nope, not yet anyways

[crazysassypaws21]

so did u find that special someone? i thought about try dating app but what im look for ain't really on a date app usually it just people look for a hot girl or guy to date for me im look for someone i can laugh with have awesome moments with who love nerdy things and i dont care if she tall or short as long as she dont mind my room full of horror movie figures lol