4 reasons why women might want to be with much younger men

[Anonymous]

Before dating my current husband (who is 16 years younger then me) I would have laughed at the concept of dating a younger man. I assumed younger men would be far to incompatible with me. However, after eventually decided to be open about dating who would eventually become my now husband (which took a lot) I found out a lot of my concerns about the age gap were not the case with him. In fact, I found out there were a few positive things that came from him being so much younger

1. Energy

I'm a very high energy woman. I'm always on the go and always am up to do something new. However, guys my age tend to want to slow down. I found that I often felt a little tied down because they didn't want to go out and do things as much as I did. That's not the case with my husband. He is fully able to keep up with me and I think the age gap has something to do with that

2. More open

While it's not always the case I do think younger men are a lot less inclined to expect the woman they're with to conform to gender roles (at least to some degree). If you're not appreciative of that being with a guy who doesn't hold onto such ideas is a huge relief. I think that's much more likely to be the case for younger men

3. Easier to have kids with

By the time I reached my early 40s I still desperately wanted children, but I knew it would be much more difficult for me. However, I've been able to have two kids with my husband fairly easily. I think that it's at least in part because younger men are often more fertile then older men. When you're at the edge of childbearing years that can be a big difference

4. Better stamina in bed- need I say more?

I get the perspective some women have that younger men aren't truly 'datable'. I used to hold onto that. I realize that it's certainly not right for everyone However, for some women I think that there are a few positive factors they may be overlooking. That's certainly the case from my experience

[Anonymous]

A 16 year difference is a big gap, but I've always been a fan of a man being a few years younger 5-10 years because of the energy difference between MOST men and most women.

70 year olds want to date 50 year old women, but what kind of shape are most 70 year old men in? If the woman is relatively active and the man isn't, she's going to be bored and there is NOTHING more deadly to a relationship than boredom.

I have personally found that on matchup sites that men who choose me are a few years older and want to "go to dinner." I'm not interested in going out to dinner/fine dining except for special occasions. I want to go hiking, canoeing, fishing, hunting: be outdoors: paint my house, DIY projects, work on the car...

Nothing wrong with a great movie, or dinner. But at my age, I want to have as much fun and be as active as humanly possible. Go places, see things, camp out! I love a good museum of art or natural history, but again, this is going out and doing, not sitting still. Also, positive volunteer work such as Habitat for Humanity and similar volunteer activities are also on my radar.

If the person has slow blood, I'm not interested.

[myTake Owner]

Maybe you should message. According to OK cupid men are a lot more likely to respond to messages sent from older women then even from women their own age (or younger)

theblog.okcupid.com/undressed-whats-the-deal-with-the-age-gap-in-relationships-3143a2ca5178

[Babygirl_S]

I agree that men look their best in their 20s. The problem with dating a man younger than you is men usually like younger women. There are plenty of younger women who can get attracted to much older men (most certainly gold diggers if there is a huge age gap) but it's not the same for men. They hardly prefer older women.

[Mary087]

Nah i disagree... I've heard many say they like older women. If she takes care of herself for her age its really just a number in the end:/

[myTake Owner]

In all honesty part of the reason why the age gap worked for him is because I look younger than I actually am. I still look older than him, but not 16 years older.

However, there are things that some younger men like about older women. My husband really liked that I was more straightforward in what I wanted (and he thinks there's a connection between that and age)

[VIVANT]

What are you ‘agreeing’ with 😐? She didn’t actually say anything about looks in her explanation. She clearly laid out the practical reasons.

[FinalFantasyBro]

That is really good for you, I usually hear about older men and younger women couples so seeing or hearing about the opposite younger men and older women couples is a freshed change of pace.

[myTake Owner]

It's part of the reason why I wanted to make this post. I wanted to break the stigma (at least a little )

[FinalFantasyBro]

Well you have definitely did

[TheFlak38]

her ovaries dried out because she was too busy banging billions of men during her prime and she was ready to blame the man if she couldn't have children. Another disgusting piece of trash.

[Quigly]

That's a good point, If she wanted to have children why wouldn't she have had them before she became a raisin? Thumbs up for you Sir.

[myTake Owner]

I actually have had 2 kids so my ovaries are clearly not dried up

[TheFlak38]

you're a piece of trash who shouldn't breed at all

[myTake Owner]

Well, I’ve already done it twice.

[Guy13]

They might want to be with them but they will never marry them.

[myTake Owner]

Why not?

[Guy13]

When she's 70 I will be 55 and about and about. "I'm not taking care of her when I am in my prime" is how that works out.:

[PositiveNote]

Here's the thing, a guy really becomes successful in his business and fully grows into physical maturity in his late 30s - early 40s. A girl really becomes a mature, sexy, beautiful woman—pretty much from the later teens! That's often why so many men go for younger because it's easy to impress a 19-yo compared to trying impress a 35yo.

However, I see so many old women who out live their partners by decades and it makes me sad. I really think that women marrying younger would be to an advantage for both partners, really. Although there is no guarantee to length of life for anyone, it would seem that living your elderly decades together would be much less painful.

[Ayanna240]

Studies have shown that BOTH men and women tend to be happier with younger partners. But huge age gaps tend to also have bigger decreases in marriage satisfaction in later years. By the time has 44 and you're 60, there is going to be sexual incompatibility, huge differences in energy. He might still be riding motorcycles while you can barely keep up with him during a walk in the park. Statistics have shown that marriages with huge age gaps tend to have a bigger decrease in satisfaction and are more likely to divorce.

I highly don't recommend marriages with huge age gaps for both men and women. One day it will just come back to bite you in the ass.

[imbeingmyself]

what exactly is a "big age gap" according to you?

[PositiveNote]

@imbeingmyself You are very right, but if you really love someone, that is rare, and the rarity itself takes precedence.

[Ayanna240]

@PositiveNote

It’s much easier said than done to be with someone so incompatible and older than you. Sure you can stay with them but at the back of your mind, you secretly know that your life could’ve been so much better

[Ayanna240]

@imbeingmyself

Anything over a 10 yr age gap will lead to difficulties down the road.

The bigger the age gap, the shorter the marriage

www.google.com/.../the-bigger-the-age-gap-the-shorter-the-marriage-2014-11-11

[Ayanna240]

That initial satisfaction erodes rapidly, however, after 6-10 years of marriage for the couples with a big age gap between the partners.

"Over time, the people who are married to a much older or younger spouse tend to have larger declines in marital satisfaction over time compared to those who are married to spouses who are similar in age," said McKinnish, who is also a research associate at the Institute of Labor Economics (IZA) in Germany.

www.google.com/.../...age-gap-affects-marriage.amp

[Ayanna240]

You can’t grow old with someone who is already old. One day you will still be having sex , riding motorcycles , wanting to do many new things. Meanwhile your spouse can’t satisfy you in bed , you constantly have to slow down for him to keep up with you in a walk in the park, he prefers a quiet cruise With his fellow retirees over your dream of visiting Italy. You have 3 kids who haven’t started college and yet your husband is already retired so he can’t help pay the tuition. The burden is all on you to send all your kids to college. You like to go on hikes , long walks yet your spouse can join you because he tires quickly or he probably won’t even be able to walk at all. That’s not someone you can grow old with. Not to mention , you’ll be spending the remaining 20 -30 years dying alone after he dies.

That’s a lot someone has to go through just to stay married to someone

[myTake Owner]

I haven't gotten there so I can't absolutely prove you wrong. All I can say is that we've got a great relationship and great chemistry right now (and I think the age gap actually kind of helps that with us). Moreover, I've always been good at keeping myself in great physical shape so I think there's a good chance I'll still be able to keep up with him when I'm older.

As far as sexual compatibility goes I can say we've got great sexual chemistry now. I think the age gap actually gives us more sexual chemistry as many women my age have higher sex drives then when we were younger (that's the case for me). We have great sex and usually do it 3 times a week at least (if not more).
As far as how that'll work when I get into menapause I can't say as it hasn't happened yet. However, for some women their sex drive doesn't decrease (or even increases) with menapause. However, even if that's not the case for me I think there's a good chance I'll be able to figure something out. I get that I'm not having a fling. I'm in a marriage, and I'm willing to work out issues we have now and in the future. Right now sex is not a problem (at all), but if it ever is I'm more than willing to figure out how to make it work. I also don't think it's a crazy idea that I could do it.

[Ayanna240]

@mytakeowner

Chemistry doesn’t matter if you have significantly different energy levels or sex drives. Energy levels and physical ability is supposed to decrease with age. As a result your hobbies may Also change as You grow older. Aging is largely determined by your genes. Take a look at how your parents aged , you will likely end up similar to them. It’s not something you can control to a huge extent.
Usually in these large age gap relationships , it’s the younger spouse who will end up taking much of the burden and experiencing much of the dissatisfaction later on in the marriage rather than the older spouse.

[myTake Owner]

Again, I’ve been able to keep myself in pretty great physical shape. I don’t mean to brag, but (for the sake of proving my point) I actually ru. marathons and so century bike rides as a hobby. I admittedly slowed down a lot after my (nearly back to back) pregnancies, but I’m now actually almost to where I was before. I also take intense care of what I eat.

I’m saying this just to bring up the point that I think there’s a pretty great chance I’ll be able to keep quite a bit of energy as I age because taking care of my body is something I’m very good at. A decrease in energy is absolutely inevitable in aging, but in my case I think it’ll likely be a lot slower. If I keep taking care of myself I’m pretty confident I’ll be able to keel up with him during a walk in the park when I’m 60 and he’s 44.

[Ayanna240]

@mytakeowner

you're not the first person on here insisting that you're gonna still be 40 at 60. you can insist all you want but within 15-20 years, you can be an entirely different person. 15-20 years is a very very long time, far too long to predict what you will turn out like. My father was vibrant at 45, now he's 63 and he's the complete opposite. Aging is something that is largely genetically determined. Very few people are 45 at the age of 60.

[Yyyyu]

@imbeingmyself for me anything more than 5 year is big

[PositiveNote]

It's actually not true that there is an age limit of 10 years. I've seen many good relationships that are spread apart even further. It's all about the individuals and that their needs line up!

[Diodoro]

Energy and stamina are kind of the same thing. So more like three things, but that makes sense. I've been into older women since I was 15 lol. Had a thing with a 23 year old when I was 16. Pretty consistently dated older until 18-19, when I dated a girl my age.

After her from like 19-23 I dated my age or older until I met my ex who was 19 year old. After that tho I just didn't care. I mostly dare in the 23-36 range now. One girl was 40 but I was mostly being a hoe lmao

[Avicenna]

Although I did have some hookups with much older women when I was a young adult, there is no way I would have dated much less married one. It's just not something many guys in their 20s want to do. If that works for you, great.

But I find it hilarious when an "older" woman thinks that men her age don't have a "high energy level" or can't get them pregnant. And the stamina in bed thing, well, I'd imagine that varies from man to man (I haven't seen a drop-off yet).

[Usbf8deg]

Wow never saw you so animated

[Avicenna]

@Usbf8deg: Really? That’s animated?

One other thing to keep in mind, Asker, is that you didn’t have kids. No way is a guy in his 20s going to date or marry a woman in her early 40s who has kids.

[VIVANT]

Lots of people don’t have kids.

[Avicenna]

@VIVANT: Yeah, but the overwhelming majority of the women who don't have them by the time they're in their early 40s don't want them at all or can't have them, so it's really not realistic to wait until then. And not having kids is a necessary, but not sufficient, requirement.

[alpha_aude]

I met a cute 18 yo guy not long ago, I didn’t dare ask for his contact because of the age gap. I regret that now, he was so fresh and sweet it felt great to meet someone like him. Recently the guys my age I dated were all losers and pessimists, that guy was different and make me realise there’s still bubbly guys out there.

[t-8900]

Age is a number. It shouldn't determine who you fall in love with. Consenting adults need to be respected and left alone. Celebrate their love, don't condemn them because you're too closed off in your bubble and bitter

[devilish-cutie]

for me its cause they look better lol
butthen again im in so many ways like "stereotypial guy"

[Justme1290]

What is "young" for a 31-year old as yourself, 20?

[devilish-cutie]

@Justme1290 shoot i meant younger than me, i wouldn't actually date someone 10 years younger, but 5 i ok. yet u never know maybe with 40 , 30 year old man won't seem that young...

[yrdady]

I've been into older women since I was 25 and then I started being interested in same age women. Now I'm interested in younger women. I guess I'm really inconsistent.

[Flower7]

Better looking is another reason.

[myTake Owner]

My husband's muscular body was a big plus (and something very, very few guys my age have). When I saw his rock hard abs my mind exploded

[MrPlentiful]

You sound like a fantasist

[Flower7]

@MrPlentiful I like attractive guys.

[ronaldo75]

These are all the exact same reason that men say we want younger women but when we do it we're called borderline pedophiles. Ah but when women do it, it's celebrated. Someone explain this to me?

[myTake Owner]

I think women actually get a lot more flack for dating younger men. I'm not saying men don't get it when dating younger women, but that's a lot more acceptable by society then when the gender roles are reversed

[Avicenna]

It looks to me like older women are celebrated for it since it's assumed to be about money when the man is much older but that the older women did it by being more desirable.

If anyone's judging the older women more harshly, I'd wager it's other women, not men

[Kitty46]

I’m 51, I’m on a dating site, men who are 36,37 or 33 are interested in me.

[Massageman]

No arguments from me. The fit- of a younger male with an older female- is much more in line with human biology.

[Flower7]

Why do you think it fits biology better?

[myTake Owner]

@Flower7 It's a lot easier for an older woman to get pregnant from a younger man.

Also, their sex drives are usually a lot more in sync (women's sex drives often increase as they get older)

[Massageman]

Thanks. I wasn't thinking about "playing the odds" with more motile sperm cells, but this is also a good point. I was just thinking more of the "sync" of their drives as you explained so well.

[Rachel794]

Reverse the roles. The man would be accused if he wanted to date a woman 16 years younger than him.

[Anonymous]

Wanting to be with younger men and actually being able to are two different things. By your age most men have the freedom to date younger women, which is obviously preferable for most men.

[Ayanna240]

there's always older men chasing younger women. If she's 40, she would have 50 something yr old men chasing her. If she's 55, she probably has 60 yr old men chasing her. But reality is men grow much less attractive as they hit 40-50s, so these older women probably prefer men in their 30s.

[Opinion Owner]

@Ayanna240 They can prefer men in their 30s all they want, but as I already said, actually getting them is a different thing altogether.

[Ayanna240]

some men don't mind an older woman. In fact, some men only want to date older women.

[Opinion Owner]

@Ayanna240 There are exceptions to every rule.

[myTake Owner]

There's actually some surprising info. According to OK Cupid it is true that men are a lot more likely to message women younger. However, they're also a significantly more likely to respond to messages to women who are older.

It's true that by default younger men are generally more likely to prefer younger women, but I don't think they're so turned off to older women as some may think

theblog.okcupid.com/undressed-whats-the-deal-with-the-age-gap-in-relationships-3143a2ca5178

[bamesjond0069]

"are a lot less inclined to expect the woman they're with to conform to gender roles" this is really what this is all about. Lets be honest.

[myTake Owner]

It's apart of it, but I listed a few other reasons too

[bamesjond0069]

Sure. But it all revolves around this. You have to give up traditional roles in all or part for an older woman younger man relationship where there is a significant gap. Many men and women know this and will not be into that no matter how many other reasons for being in a relationship like this they have. Only the gender benders would do this because those are women with no care for feminine role and men who dont care to be masculine. Personally it makes me sick to even think about but thats why im in a traditional relationship.

[Nik1hil]

You go girl.
You bagged that 16 yr younger guy... That's awesome..
Have wild sex with him..

[Quigly]

I have never dated an older woman that worked out for me. She is usually with younger guys under the idea that they are naive and she can control them easier. It always ends up in complete failure.

[KrakenAttackin]

OK it works for you. I am willing to bet you are an alpha chick and he is pretty beta.

[myTake Owner]

Why do yo u assume that?

[Anonymous]

Like it is your choice. Go right ahead and you will get whomever you can attract and keep. I am sure that they will be real winners, but then again you will be a good match