Why complaining about racist dating preferences is dumb!

[Anonymous]

So I stumbled upon an article that discusses the issues of racism and online dating, and I wanted to give my opinion on the matter (I am black by the way)

A lot of you may or may not already know this, but there's a growing phenomenon on tinder and other dating apps of profiles with "no Blacks" or "no Indians" and so on on their bios, that makes those groups of people feel a certain type of way, and rightfully so.

While I do agree that everyone in that position is allowed to feel negatively about the situation, since it their race isn't something that they can inherently change, I also believe that you cannot force people to want to date/mate with people that they don't want to be with.

Now this is a tricky situation for a lot of people, because they are hurt, but they can't do anything about it. Well, except they can actually. There's always a third choice. Usually, my advice is to do the same. Is it self-preservation? Probably, and you would be right to think so. Is that wrong? Maybe, but it wouldn't be any less wrong than someone saying that they "don't date n words". Third choice basically involves completely not dating that race of whoever the person is.

I generally avoid White women. If that sounds too extreme, I would at least suggest checking where someone's from before swiping on them (if they from the south, that's a big no no). Any suggestions that may give it, also nope. I do think that that works better than shooting your shot with a racist, then crying about it later.

In order to not look the fool in the situation, you gotta learn the game. I think of those not being racist that are rejected in the screening process as "collateral damage" in my pursuit to weed out racist trash, and I definitely think other minorities should do the same.

[Pyrofox]

I dont' see it as dumb I just see it as automatically just shrinking your options. >.> Its like if we got only really what 4 main colors for skin tone and you saying only 3 you are gonna be willing to date and your prefrences stick your ideal partner is in the top 10% you are talking a top 10% of only 75% of society. So really your talking about like 7.5% of society fits what you are actually looking for. Do you actually think you are that high value in a world that has still 8.58 billion people and climbing still. >.> Sorry honey but that top 7.5% can choose ANYONE ELSE besides you. o... o

[myTake Owner]

Inaccurate, world population is at 7.87 billion. Regardless though, that's besides the point. Men are usually more adventurous and are more likely to travel overseas to look for a partner than women, so it's not really a thing of "decreasing one's choices" if you will. For them perhaps, but it's not like they care to be honest. This is why I always say go where you are celebrates, not tolerated. Black men are not celebrated among White people, so I find it pathetic as a Black man to see brothers complain about being rejected by a girl that doesn't date Black guys. I don't date White women, and I think more Black men should do the same. Unfortunately there's a lot of racial simping going on of "snowbunny this" and "Becky that" that gives the impression that we are weak, which is not true. I just want more brothers to realize their value and stop trying to seek validation from women that aren't theirs, that look down on their people, and start to evaluate what real options they have. Africa has some beautiful women, and I believe more Black men should look for African women over White women. Just my thoughts though.

[Anonymous]

It’s less about your preference and more about how you say it.

Saying “If it ain’t white, it ain’t right” comes off as pretty bad. Just say “I prefer ____”.

[myTake Owner]

Even that is petty. If you don't like a group of people, don't swipe right, but that's besides the point here. The point is self-respect. Racist women exist, so I want my people to walk away from shit like this instead of asking for their validation through questions like "you don't like black guys?". Stop simping for racist women is all I ask.

[oli14]

Actually saying u're preferences out loud is not a bad thing I think but it's more about the way people say it or act about it. The thing that makes it rude is the way people talk about things most of the time not what they think

[myTake Owner]

Honestly I can care less about their preferences as I am not interested. My take was basically how as Black men, I would like to see less brothers that complain about such behavior. Why do we have to care if we are accepted by them or not? It's much more about self-respect in my opinion. You cannot change someone else's preferences or force them to date you. Can you feel some type of way? Yes, it's only natural. However, you control your own actions, not actions of others. Avoiding all White women sounds like a good idea long-term for the Black community.

[oli14]

Yeah u r right about that but I think the thing that makes them feel bad is that they use a rude language and u know people that makes fun of them maybe that's why I said that

[myTake Owner]

No, what gets them angry is the pettiness of it all. For instance, would you say "no creepy dudes allowed" or would you just reject people you think are creepy? Would you say "if you are shorter than 6'0, don't message me" or would you just ask them and decide? I mean, it's petty and childish. I don't date White girls, but you won't see me writing in my profile "no white women allowed". Now, my reasons are different mind you. A) They aren't my type and B) I don't want to screen them for racism. Ofc a) alone is not enough. I am OK with dating girls that are not necessarily my type if they possess similar values and morals to myself, but b) is more important. I don't want passive aggressive comments, racist jokes, racist parents or family or any of that. Now those are just my own reasons, but I won't write that on my profile, because I don't need to put others down to uplift myself. I think more Black brothers need to see it for what it is and wake up. Maybe you will not understand why I say what I say, but I'm tired of all the simping "snowbunny" this, "do you like black guys?" that, and everything in between. It's annoying, and pathetic. See your true value, and walk tf away from this bullshit.

[Hedera]

Yeah personally I think people who put things like that on their profiles just make it easier for other people to avoid THEM, lol. Holy crap the one you used as an example is racist AF tho!

[Guy13]

Preferences are Civil Liberties and not racist garbage people like to tag upon them...

[myTake Owner]

Two things can co-exist. Preference can be a civil liberty and STILL be racist. Same concept applies to free speech, it's a civil liberty that can also have racist purposes. Will you ho to jail for calling someone the n word as a white person? No. Is it racist to do so? Yes.

The point I'm trying to make here is I have zero interest in getting these women to date Black men, as that was not the intention of this piece. The point is that I think as a Black man that we should start discriminating too. Don't give me any of that "racist against whites" crap, I explained that this is much more freeing to people than complaining about a group of women who a) do not belong to you and b) do not benefit you in any way, and less about "preference". If I raise my concerns to a business and they are not addressed, rather than resorting to slander, I choose full boycott REGARDLESS of whether or not they change their approach as a result.

Same principle applies. I'm not interested in these women's change of behavior, I want my people to be freed.

[Guy13]

What does this have to do with answering your thesis. You’re rambling pointlessly. It would have been helpful to have a concise sample relating to Question at hand… besides I want to give an opinion…about what. There’s no case exampled🤷🏻‍♂️

What you mean to say is:

[myTake Owner]

I will make this short and sweet. Civil liberty is not what I'm criticizing here like you thought, it's desperation.

"Civil liberties" can be used for racism, yes. However, you cannot force someone to be with you. That much we understand, just like you can't call police on someone for saying the n word, doesn't mean that there was no racism behind it. My whole thing is I was writing a piece for my fellow brothers to completely stop going after these females. Take action rather than complain.

Do you understand it now?