Dating

If they were into you, they would... not date you

"If they were into you, they would make the time to meet up with you." This might be true in most cases, but I think what most people mean when they say this is something more along the lines of "if they were choosing to date you, they would take the time to meet up with you." What's the difference? The first statement seems to be based on an assumption that a person necessarily will date someone if they are "into" them. Maybe that's usually the case, but think about it. There are plenty of circumstances in which you may be really interested in someone and yet be wise enough to recognize if dating them is a bad idea.

Maybe you are wise enough to see a significant incompatibility early on. Maybe you have a lot of other priorities and believe you would have to compromise on something that's truly important if you date someone. Maybe you are still recovering from an unfavorable situation with a former lover.

I will say, if a person just says "I'm too busy" and nothing else, then they probably are saying that because they aren't interested. But there's a possibility it's a different story if they provide specific details about their situation and it appears to be consistent with what they've told you before. I'm not saying you can conclude they were into you in that case, but that may actually be a good reason for them to not date you even if they're into you.

If they were into you, they would... not date you

My point is, people are basically acting as if, if someone chooses not to date you, that means they weren't into you or didn't find you attractive. Maybe that's true, and while it is still important to move on at that point and look at your other options, there certainly are possible alternate explanations and reasons why you still might choose not to date someone even if you're attracted to them.

If they were into you, they would... not date you
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